fun

ISLAM4UK Changes Name To Brian Thompson


Police will begin arresting Brian Thompsons
like this one later today

THE government has banned the extremist group Islam4Uk, forcing it to change its name to Brian Thompson.

Following a high-level inquiry by the Daily Mail, home secretary Alan Johnson said he had proscribed the organisation under a series of names it goes by including Al Muhajiroun, Beard Force and Anjem and the Hurricanes.

Mr Johnson said: "We can only keep Britain safe from terror by continually restricting the number of names these organisations have access to.

Fresh Prince of Kashmir

I got texted this the other day and probably could fit into too, but I will keep it separate.

Fresh Prince of Kashmir

In Jhelum born & Raised,
in the mud is where I spent most of my days.

Chillin out, relaxing & Eating some roti,
chatn to the kuris while drinking some lassi.

When a couple of Gunda's who were no good,
started some "Dhusham!Dhusham!" in my neighbourhood.

They made a right old mess @ my pops got scared
"You're moving to your masi's in Mirpur instead!"

So I whistled for a Rickshaw, it came the next day,
Told him where to go & I weren't going to pay.

I knew I smelt sumthing, it was the oil in his hair,
it anything, but I thought "Bale! Bale! Bale!"

The *all new* jokes topic

I am sure we had one (or more) before...

There is only one rule: make them funny.

Ok, first one:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

The Tummy Beast

This is what I often think about when I'm hungry. Smile

The Tummy Beast

Roald Dahl

One afternoon I said to mummy,
"Who is this person in my tummy?
"He must be small and very thin
"Or how could he have gotten in?"
My mother said from where she sat,
"It isn't nice to talk like that."
"It's true!" I cried. "I swear it, mummy!
"There is a person in my tummy!
"He talks to me at night in bed,
"He's always asking to be fed,
"Throughout the day, he screams at me,
"Demanding sugar buns for tea.
"He tells me it is not a sin
"To go and raid the biscuit tin.
"I know quite well it's awfully wrong
"To guzzle food the whole day long,
"But really I can't help it, mummy,
"Not with this person in my tummy."
"You horrid child!" my mother cried.

Be Yourself

"Don't worry about what they think or say. Just be yourself!"

When you read the above, what does it make you think about?
If someone said it to you, how would you feel?

But how much of our 'self', is actually ours?
How many hours of the day are you the 'self' which pleases your boss, colleagues or classmates?
What about our friends?
Do you always feel you can say what you really think to your parents?
How often can you just sit back and 'be yourself'?

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