"Don't worry about what they think or say. Just be yourself!"
When you read the above, what does it make you think about?
If someone said it to you, how would you feel?
But how much of our 'self', is actually ours?
How many hours of the day are you the 'self' which pleases your boss, colleagues or classmates?
What about our friends?
Do you always feel you can say what you really think to your parents?
How often can you just sit back and 'be yourself'?
And is it actually good to do so? We, as Muslims, should constantly be trying to better ourselves. Or so we are told. And there seems to be a lot of wisdom in the command to
"try to improve yourself. don't take what you've got or what you've done for granted. Remain humble and self-effacing. Take yourself into account."
But what about what your self wants? If you should 'be' yourself, that means you should 'want' what yourself wants too.
But, from what I understand, the self in Islam has different parts. Broadly, these could be described as your Fitrah and your Nafs. Without embarrassing myself by trying to go into detail and showing my ignorances, a way to understand them could be the fitrah is what pulls you towards God and is something we have in common with angels, and the nafs is what pulls us towards this life and is what we share with animals.
That would mean our fitrah is concerned with doing right and would desire good deeds, self-sacrifice, love, obedience to God, etc. While the nafs would be our animal desires: hunger, thirst, laziness, aggression, sex, bravado. I realise this is being harsh on some animals (which I supposed means I think some humans could be below animals in moral worth).
So when we crave something which is haraam for us, isn't the 'giving-into-your-desires' part of us actually 'being ourself'? Is the person who says 'just be yourself' the shaitan for that moment?
The original sentence should now be "Just be yourself if you are a good person. If you don't have any weaknesses then you can truly be yourself. If you are already a morally corrupt person, then try to be someone else."
If that's the case, who should we try to become, and how should we go about doing that?
Some advice that I've been given by people who wanted to talk about this as if they knew a lot, was to sit in the company of Good People. This will lead to, they say, their goodness/piety/humility/taqwa/barakah rubbing off on you. They know it all, you see, and you should just sit back and do exactly what they tell you. You should think what they tell you to think, feel about things the same way that they feel about them. If you do this, you will become a better 'self', who follows his/her fitrah more than his/her nafs.
So far, so appealing. So tempting. So good to be true. But then I start having a little lingering doubt about if this is genuine at all. We hear constantly in the Qur'an about the dangers of becoming a hypocrite. If the only thing making us act better is the fact that we're surrounded by people we respect/revere/want to impress, then that is very hollow indeed. The logic of spending time with them is that it will encourage us to try hard or stop us being lazy, right? And if we don't act so well when we're on our own, then that means that (at least part of) our efforts are not for God Alone.
Isn't that shirk?
Look, I'm not going out against sufism and/or sufis. I'm talking about our deep, inner-self which struggles with issues like tawhid whether we are Muslim or not, salafi or sufi, wahabbi or shia, immigrant or conquerer, rich or poor, etc or etc.
OK, so what's your problem with people if that's what they wanna do ?
I don't have the slightest problem with what anyone else does/chooses/believes. You don't see me getting annoyed if people want to share their beliefs with me or even if they want to shovel their beliefs down my throat as if there wasn't any debate about them; as if they were fact.
I'm just thinking about myself (again!) and wondering how I should go about improving myself. Is the only option available to me really to hang around with the people with the biggest beards I can find and do what they tell me? If not, then would it be ok if I asked for evidence from the Qur'an and Sunnah for everything they told me (and didn't argue as long as the hadith was accepted by Albani)?
If I can only act in a praiseworthy manner when I'm being judged by people I deem to be 'better Muslims' (even if they're not doing it, I'm acting as if they are), then surely that makes me a hypocrite when I'm "just being myself", when I'm not with them.
So what's the conclusion?
There is no conclusion, stupid! If there was I'd be publishing a book about it, not writing a blog on here!
Comments
*bill and ted mode* woah!
Got loads and loads of thoughts on all this, but putting them all in one post (and doing it right now) will probably lead to rambling and incoherence. I will risk laziness and not giving a proper response over that.
It is an interesting concept though - if you play to be a bumbling fool, will you eventually become one? (That is a question I had when I read the Dune series of books a few years ago.)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I don't think this is something to worry about as the concept of minor shirk is vague and wishy washy - any thoughts, actions not done explicitly to please Allah
can come under this definition.
"Minor shirk" can also be used as a scare tactic because its big brother - real shirk - is a very big thing.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
About the company of the pious. If they're good folk, then yeah, you will be encouraged to be good around them...but if they're saints its a different thing. You change almost against your will. You walk in to their majalis a sinner and suddenly you're blaming your nafs for its evil attributes and longing for sincerity to please Allah. You don't do it to please the saint, it happens to you whether you like it or not. Its beyond conscious control.
So no its not shirk, its barakah.
Its like the dead fish in the story of Musa AS and Khidr AS. It was dead, but in the environs of Khidr AS it was brought back to life. The fish didn't have an option. Our hearts similarly aren't given the option, they are revived.
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
I wasn't saying it's shirk. I was just recognising that some people say it is.
Huh? I've read that story many times and never knew it was about a fish being bought back to life. I thought the fish was their food and they left it behind by accident, and that was a sign they'd found al-khidr?
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Mwuahahaha, every detail of that story has significance! A bit of shameless publicising here, but this is a Shaykh Tahir ul Qadri lecture on a teeny weeny bit of that story The Stages of Seeking
Aloos, I know you were just throwing thoughts around.
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
Yeah, but is there a hadith or something that says the fish came back to life, cos it doesn't say that in the Qur'an (unless in code).
Don't just do something! Stand there.
I dont think your desires make you who you are :S
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Re: the fish.
Surah Al Kahf: 61-63
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
i know what you mean about feeling like a hypocrite :|.
As ive been brought up in an a very Islamic way, i was always told to do this and that (and never taught "there no compulsion in religion! lol) and sometimes when i really thought about it, i wondered "am i really doing it for Allah(swt) or cuz my parents are telling me too? i couldnt really answer the question, and it made me feel so fake. However as ive been growing closer to Islam and and "spiritually" feel closer, i can now say that what i do, i do for Allah(swt). but maybe/most likely there was a time when i jsut done it cuz of my parents and if i hadnt i wouldnt be feeling like this now. I dont know how to clearly explain what i mean, so maybe this *might* help:
Take a smoker; when he had his very first cigeratte, he spluttered and coughed and totally hated it. But then he had a second one, and a third one and so on and now he loves it. Now, if he had stoped at the first one he would've always thought that cigerattes arent nice but he went on to have more and changed his mind.
So what im trying to say is that i dont think its wrong, at the end of the day you believe in the word of Allah(swt) and thats all that matters. By "forcing" yourself or being fake, you may actually not be fake after a little a while.
I hope that all actually made sense.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Surah Al Kahf: 60-64
And [mention] when Moses said to his servant, "I will not cease [traveling] until I reach the junction of the two seas or continue for a long period.
But when they reached the junction between them, they forgot their fish, and it took its course into the sea, slipping away.
So when they had passed beyond it, [Moses] said to his boy, "Bring us our morning meal. We have certainly suffered in this, our journey, [much] fatigue."
He said, "Did you see when we retired to the rock? Indeed, I forgot [there] the fish. And none made me forget it except Satan - that I should mention it. And it took its course into the sea amazingly".
[Moses] said, "That is what we were seeking." So they returned, following their footprints.
Where does it say the fish came back to life because of al-Khidr?
Don't just do something! Stand there.
[qs:18:60-64]
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
cool ^
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Dude, the fish came back to life. And what's with the apostrophes?
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
The apostrophes are cos admin was being silly with a pirate thingy.
Seems a bit inappropriate if people are quoting the Qur'an.
Hmm...
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Admin, you messed up my blog! It took AGES!!
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Did you pirate it up yourself? EDIT - seems to be fixed.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I have to admit, the 'and a bottle of rum' did make me laugh.
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
I like to think the filter added some depth.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Sorry to rein the discussion back in from your exciting topics buuuuut i did promise.
Tbh i do see that sometimes in islam, because it's 'not a religion but a way of life' (Urghh ¬_¬ ) that sometimes it is required that you compromise yourself, and i admit i struggle with that concept having always been told to disregard everyone else's feelings and do (and be) what (and who) makes me happy.
It kind of hit me a while ago, in lesson at college one day when the class was told "... it's REQUIRED of you, if you have Islamic knowledge to pass it on" and earlier on he'd gone on about Hypocrites and the punishments of hell etc. And someone asked what everyone else was thinking which was that "but what if you don't do it? then by telling someone else you're being hypocritical" and he said he didn't know. Well he didn't, he waffled a bit and got away with it but i thought i worked out the answer.
Imo, it was a bit like asking 'In Islam, Is it ok to eat pork with a spoon?'- i.e a little pointless and moot. BECAUSE, there is no contradiction there really. If you're gonna be Muslim, you're going to be wholly so. In fact, if you're a Muslim and you Don't do that which is required of you, then you yourself are a contradiction. Basically that you SHOULD do it, and if you're not you're sinning... And you're aware of that but don't care enough to change it so why should it affect you that there is a sin in being hypocritical or not passing on Islamic knowledge?
Not a welcome revelation.
Anyway, there's your thought out response (y)
Careful what you wish for [:
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
Are you saying that if you are a Muslim, its compulsory to talk to others about Islam?
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
....No?
Not at all o.0
How much did you actually read?
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
I don't agree with that "requirement" of perfection. People are human and that should always be taken into account - some people can due to various factors do different things in different amounts.
Aspirations without context do not work too well in the real world.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Sorry, it was a little too intellectual for me. I've looked harder at it and I think I get you.
Paragraph 1: As a Muslim, sometimes you have to sacrifice some personal pleasures and step back from thinking "me! me! me!" That can be a tough thing to do.
Paragraph 2: If you know something good you should pass it on but if you don't do it yourself then is it hypocrisy to pass it on?
Paragraph 3: You're asking yourself, well if you're not pious yourself, why should you care if others are sinners? If you do care, doesn't that make you a big hypocrite?
If you're not pious, you can still disapprove of sinning. Maybe you are being hypocritical but there are levels of hypocrisy and in this case the hypocrisy involved is better than letting the sin becomes socially acceptable.
You mentioned the part of the Din that deals with hypocrites, but there is a part of the Din which deals with social morality: There is a hadith that teaches us, if we see a bad action we should try to stop it with our hands, if we can't stop it with our hands, then we speak out against it and if we can't do that then we should dislike the wrong thing in our hearts and this is the weakest level of faith.
So actions are best, lead by example, don't say what you don't do. After actions comes advice, which is still a good thing if it's to protect good morals. After that, we should at least care, we should still give a damn even if we ain't so perfect ourselves. The Hadith teaches us that the essence of repentance is to feel bad about something in your heart. So maybe I'm guilty myself, but if I still give a damn, maybe I could be forgiven?
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
Ah Jeez.
Obviously, given that i'm far from it, i'm not saying that everyone should be perfect.
And Nor am i making a statement or a decree or anything, just sharing my thoughts.
Nevermind.
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
That is not what I meant - I was thinking more along the lines that wanting better is not (always) the same as hypocrisy.
My intent was not to be "down" on your reply or anything - it raises valid concerns. I just see some things differently - people can and will fail and that is ok as long as they pick themselves up afterwards, can recognise right from wrong etc.
Or am I missing the point?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Ahah. Or not intellectual enough xD
Thanks for clarifying for me - i should have done that, i apologise.
Hmm. Levels of hypocrisy, i guess that's the grey area business. Things not being just black and white is a difficult (and irritating) concept for me. i'd rather they were kept simple, but i'm sure you're right.
Socially acceptable, social morality...
And yeahh i've come across that hadith before, probably on here somewhere and i remember thinking that people love to quote things that are convenient for them. Like "there is no compulsion in religion" is used a LOT. Not saying that's what you did btw xD Like in that Dawkins TV thing when that guy to represent islamic schools was spoken to, he said a lot about how great Islam was and how islamic schools are so great but didn't want to answer when asked what the penalty for apostasy was.
Tangent,sorry.
And i see, so forgive me if i'm wrong but what you're saying is that care about other people because hopefully it'll boomerang and actually be in fact useful for us in the long run and anything's worth a try?
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
Naaaaahh, you a'aight
Lol.
' "down" on your reply ' haha.
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
EDIT - post moved to the topic on apostasy in order to not go too far off topic.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I don't get what's so funny...
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Rory, something I've heard a lot in talks and khutbahs and general conversation is a phrase like "I'm advising myself just as much as I'm advising you" or similar.
This could be seen as a 'get out of jail free card' but personally I think it's nice and right.
There's a difference between saying "Islam forbids eating pork" and "Don't eat pork because you are a Muslim" (I mean if either of these sentences were said by a Muslim who DOES eat pork).
I prefer the first sentence, because it is further away from hypocrisy in my opinion. But in both cases, the Muslim who eats pork shouldn't reveal their sin openly (if it is for boastful purposes; if his/her intention is to stop eating pork and seeks advice, then as far as I know it is good to admit to their sin).
Don't just do something! Stand there.
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