Ali & Jamal

Issue 15: Ali & Jamal

Author: 
Sajid Iqbal & Irfan Khan

Jamal comes out of the mosque after reading the Jummah prayer. A brother shoves an Islamic leaflet in his hand, as Jamal is about to thank the brother in the Jubbah (long thorbe) he almost dies of a heart attack...

Jamal: Sal... Sal… Salaam Bro. Is that… is that you Ali?!

Ali: You spotted me Jam. How are you bro?

Jamal: I’m fine brother. Are you... sure that’s you Ali…

Ali: The one and only. You look like you gonna pass out Jam… I think you better sit down.

Jamal: I’m just a bit shocked… You look so different… what happened?!

Ali: What can I say Jam... I found God.

Jamal: Where?! I didn’t realise God was lost?

Issue 14: Ali & Jamal

Author: 
Sajid Iqbal & Irfan Jalil

By Sajid Iqbal & Irfan Jalil

Jamal bumps in to Ali at the local Job Centre...

Jamal: Salaam Ali, you lookin depressed what's up bro?

Ali: What's Up?! The bills and rent that’s what’s up!

Jamal: What do you mean?

Ali: Jam I got bills to pay, rent to pay, food to buy and that's the easy bit... me aint got no Benjamins to buy any gear!

Jamal: Gear? But you don't even have a car?

Ali: Nah, nah man. I mean GEAR... you know what I mean Jam!

Jamal: Oh Gear! Astagfirullah! I thought you stopped all that and what's with your priorities, you are putting drugs before food.

Issue 13: Ali & Jamal

By Sajid Iqbal & Zahid Maqbool

Ali takes Jamal with him to speak to his Dad about marriage...

Ali: Salaam Pops... how ya doin? This is Jamal.

Ali's Dad: Wa Alay Kum Salaam Ali. Did you bring me my Rusk biscuits? My milky tea is getting cold!

Ali: No Pop... I didn't, but I need to chat with you about summat serious...

Ali's Dad: NO! You cannot be on my car insurance!

Ali: Chill Dad, it’s more serious.

Ali's Dad: What! You want the remote control?

Ali: Nah... even more serious.

Ali's Dad: What!!??

Ali: Pops... I wanna... err… get married.

Issue 12: Ali and Jamal

By Sajid Iqbal

Ali bumps into Jamal at a local wedding…

Ali: Salaaaaaaaaaaaaaam Jam! Wagwaan?

Jamal: Wasalaam Ali. I'm OK, alhamdulillah, how are ya bro?

Ali: I'm buzzin'. Just had me grub and now I look like I'm up the duff!

Jamal: Yep, six months I would say! Hahaha...

Ali: You're a funny guy for an ayatollah rock n roller!

Jamal: So how's the new and improved Ali? You not gone back to your old ways I hope?

Ali: You got it Jam! I am the new and improved, the master of disaster, the king of sting, ya know the main digger behind the trigger.

Issue 11: Ali and Jamal

By Sajid Iqbal & Dawud Qadri

Jamal spots Ali at an Islamic conference. Ali tells Jamal that he has given up his bad habits and is trying to be good Muslim. But Ali still has one issue he needs Jamal's help with. As the conversation turns to girls, Jamal tells Ali about the evils of zina and importance of marriage...

Jamal: Asalaamu Alaikum brother...Ali? Is that you? What you doing here, did you get lost in this area and come inside to get directions?

Ali: Wasalaam Jam. I'm flexin' man. How are ya Boss? Me mate told me to check the conference out, he said I could get a 'spiritual' high!

Jamal: Hahaha that's a good one.

Issue 10: Ali & Jamal

By Sajid Iqbal & Irfan Khan

Jamal goes to visit Ali in prison…

Ali: Jamaaaal!!! Holy cow!!! Is that really you?

Jamal: Salaam Ali. Yep it's me bro… and I ain’t no cow.

Ali: I can’t believe you's come all the way from Egypt to see me! Raas man! You're not a dodgy Mullah after all!

Jamal: No, not as dodgy as you bro… hahahaha.

Issue 8: Aliyah & Jameela

By Sara Salim and "Imaani" Aslam

Jameela: Asalaam Alaikum Sis, I see you've dyed your hair again?

Aliyah: Yep. Looks good don't it? What do you think?

Jameela: Erm... I think you may have overdone it with the blonde highlights, not too sure if it suits your skin tone... but hey, what's with the makeover anyway?

Aliyah: Well, you're looking at the new me. I've decided I'm through with all this being a Muslim girl thing. Now people know that I ain't one of those girls they can order about. I've decided I ain't taking no crap any more.

Jameela: Well that's great, respecting yourself is really important, but what's taking crap got to do with being and looking like a Muslim?

Issue 7: Aliyah & Jameela

Author: 
Alveena Salim

Ali has been sent down for 18 months for selling Cannabis and Jamal has gone to Egypt to study Islam. In their place we have:

Jameela: Asalaam alaikum sister. I haven't seen you in time.

Aliyah: You'll never guess who just asked me out!!!

Jameela: Who?

Aliyah: Iky baby!!!!!!

Jameela: Ikram? The one who looks like Sonic the Hedgehog? Why you messing around with that good- for- nothing unemployed dosser. All he does is drive round the same block 50 times a day!

Ali has been sent down for 18 months for selling Cannabis and Jamal has gone to Egypt to study Islam. In their place we have:

Jameela: Asalaam alaikum sister. I haven’t seen you in time.

Issue 6: Ali Wannabe & Jamal!

By Irfan Khan and Sajid Iqbal

Ali: Easy Yo

Jamal: Easy to you as well!

Ali: Na na Bro u got it all wrong its easy 'Yo' not You

Jamal: I prefer Asalamalaikum

Ali: Yeah… just too many words for me. Bro you been seeing what go on in Labnaan? Them getting proper messed up man.

Jamal: Yes brother it's terrible what is happening in LEBANON, just make dua for all those innocent people affected.

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