Assalamu’alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
I would like to introduce myself. I am one of the hundreds and thousands of divorced Muslimahs around the world. I am also one of the many women you come across daily and think of as a successful, strong and ambitious woman or I am one of the women that you think of as pitiful, weak and miserable. We, divorced Muslimahs come in all shapes, sizes and made. As a matter of fact, at this particular moment, one of us could be sitting right next to you. Beware or be aware!
You must be wondering what is all the fuss about divorced Muslim women. Well, that is the issue, there is no fuss, and maybe there should be. I will leave it for you to decide; I am not going to tell you my story about how I got divorced, nor the story of others like me, and how and why we are divorced. Let’s just say we all have our reasons and Allah is knower of all the reasons.
I am sure many of you ladies think that when a woman has her ‘talaq’ or divorce, this is the end of her story, of her torment, like a heroine in a novel, she has finally broken free of the shackles of the man who held her imprison. Truly, such is the case in many a situation, especially when domestic violence is involved. You can probably visualise her standing on top of a cliff, the breeze gently caressing her face, the wind twirling with her hijab, and her eyes are closed, she’s only contemplating this moment; the gentle caress of the wind on her face, the soft murmur of the waves breaking against the cliff and how amazing she feels right then, she has finally made it to safety and she’s awaiting a new beginning, one which actually end with ‘she lives happily ever after.’
SubhanAllah, isn’t that a beautiful depiction of a woman! A woman who stood for herself against the wrongdoer, against all odds; a woman who kept going even when there was nowhere to go. All this sounds really nice, but let’s trying zooming out the picture, let’s stand a bit further and see what else we can see. Here! Now, we get a better picture.
Oh she’s right there on the cliff, wearing her black silky abaya, how shiny that looks! And her headscarf blowing on her face, blocking her view, she tries to move it away from her face but the wind keeps blowing it back. The wind is actually really strong that day, and she struggles to stay in place, she’s really on the edge of the cliff, and a wrong move could be quite fatal. It is starting to get dark; the sun is setting; she really shouldn’t be out that late, it’s maghrib time almost, she tries to move back, and a few pebbles fall off the cliff. She cannot see properly, darkness is falling, and her hijab would not stop smacking her in the face, she needs to see, to understand better where she’s going. She tries turning back, but suddenly she stops; where to go? She cannot go back, and there’s no way ahead of the cliff.
This is the story we are never told: The New beginning! Or is it?
This is the part of the story where you can join in and make a difference. Remember this is the story of a divorced Muslimah, but it could very well be the story of any lonely Muslimah; married, divorced, single etc. With your permission, I would like to now include you in the story and give you a pivotal role in the new story of The Divorced Muslimah.
So, there she stands on the cliff, trying to fight the wind and her unrelenting hijab. She sees a bird flying towards her, and tries to dodge it; she quickly moves to her right but instead loses her balance and steps forward. It all happens in a split of second; she closes her eyes and reads her shahadah. Suddenly, something swiftly grabs her arm and spins her around.
“Are you ok?” asks a voice.
“Hmm Hmm,” she muffles.
She tries to regain control of the situation and finally manages to move her hijab away and looks up.
“You sure?” asks the same voice.
“Yes,” she answers softly.
Now, I don’t want to leave you in suspense anymore. You are surely wondering who that voice is, is it the hero? Or the prince in his shining armour coming to help a damsel in distress, you may ask. No, it isn’t any of that, remember this is a true story, and in true stories there’s no prince, but there’s Allah’s servants who He puts in your way to help you out. It was someone she hasn’t seen before, someone she hasn’t met before or even heard before. It was somebody who had been watching her from afar for a while, she didn’t notice that person before, but this person did notice her. Well, without further ado; this individual is: You!
Who are you?
You, my dear readers are as important as the Divorced Muslimah in this story; You represent the life that this divorced Muslimah can lead; You are the society she lives in, You are the (potential) friends and family she can have; You are her support network; but most importantly, You are the Ummah who Allah has entrusted a vital role to. You, my beloved readers are the one now that has to protect this divorced Muslimah! You are but the guardian of Her!
Remember where the divorced Muslimah was standing just a few before. Had it not been for you grabbing her arm, what do you think would have happened? I dare not say, I dare not think of it; but remember many a time there isn’t anyone to grab her arm right on time, and sometimes it’s left for too late.
“Are you sure? You seem a bit pale,” says the Voice.
“Yes, I am fine. I just lost my balance.”
The Voice wasn’t convinced. This girl certainly doesn’t look ok, she thought. Her eyes are all red and puffy, and she seems completely drained.
“Can I help you get home or something?” asks the Voice.
“No, thank you. I live nearby.”
“Oh ok, well you take care then,” the Voice says hesitantly, still not sure whether to stay or go.
Finally, the Voice decided to make a move and started moving away. But something isn’t quite right, thought the voice. Maybe I should just stick around a little while, until the girl/woman walks back home. A woman shouldn’t after all be outside at this time for no particular reason.
The Divorced Muslimah, not too sure what to do next, decides to leave it to Allah, her creator. This is all she has left now, her unyielding faith in Allah, the One who has never wronged her and who has always shown her mercy.
She got onto her knees on the arid soil, pressing her forehead and palms on the ground, if anyone can show her the way now, it will be Him. She sobbed quietly to As-Samad, the Satisfier of all needs; only He can safeguard her now. And As -Sami (The Hearer of All) never ignores the requests of His servants. He is after all also, Al- ‘Alim (the Knower of All).
There is a reason as to why the Voice was still hanging around, Allah knew that His servant would need help, and through His other servants He passes on that help.
The Voice was right in staying back; this girl/woman isn’t going back home; she probably had nowhere to go. The Voice makes it way back to her.
“Listen I know you need help, please let me help you In sha Allah,” says the voice.
The Divorced Muslimah looks up, her face was now stained with mud, the barren soil was now all moist where she had laid her head down, the soil had turned muddy-like and was sticking to her face, and even her palms which must have been sweaty.
The Divorced Muslimah was not sure what to make of this. The people she trusted, the very people that were meant to protect her and love her had forced her into this position, can she trust a complete stranger? Can she share her problems and burden with this unknown person. But then, that’s exactly what she had just asked Allah, her Protector, maybe then she has to put her trust in this stranger and take it as an answer to her prayers.
I have a question for you my readers, how many of you would stop by to check on that girl, how many of you would come back even after being told everything is ok?
We humans are full of pride, and also do not like to show our emotions as it is considered to be a sign of weakness. A lot of people will not open up to strangers or even friends and family, but Allah has made us responsible for them as we are part of the Ummah.
The Ummah is the one and only community we all belong to, no matter what race we are from, what language/s we speak, what skin colour we have, what continent we were born on, what caste/tribe we belong to. As part of this community, we should take time to help people who might be in need in our Ummah, and this help should apply to anyone, not only to people who share similar traits with us. If we do not stop to make time for such people, then we need to look at ourselves and our responsibilities as a Muslims.
To be continued….
Original Source: http://www.projecteve.org.uk