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We don’t all know each other

Indigo Jo Blogs - 15 February, 2026 - 17:45
Picture of Rupert Lowe, a middle-aged white man, standing in a field in a rural location with a small stream behind him.Rupert Lowe

The grooming gangs issue has been all over social media the past few weeks: three weeks ago, a group called Open Justice UK published the transcripts of the 2019 Bradford trial in which nine men, eight Asian and one white, were handed lengthy sentences (all but two received between 16 and 20 years) and promised a three-part podcast in which one of the two victims, Fiona Goddard, gave an interview about her experiences to the feminist campaigner and writer Julie Bindel. That was “next week” three weeks ago and finally appeared on Wednesday (on YouTube and other podcast platforms). In the meantime I went down something of a rabbit hole, looking for podcasts on the issue to listen to as I drove around the south-east delivering flooring products, and stumbled upon a couple of interviews with one Raja Miah, a former adviser to Tony Blair on counter-extremism who was accusing all and sundry in the Labour party especially of complicity with the gangs in a search for votes. This week, in response to some testimony given at the “Rape Gang Inquiry” being chaired by the Reform splinter group MP Rupert Lowe (right), there was an exchange on GB News alleging that British Muslims would rape “working-class white girls” for Eid; a racist Twitter account called “Britain is Broken” shared it with the words “In the UK, evidence is mounting that suggests Muslims spend Eid by inviting their families round to rape little white girls”, subsequently shared by GB News correspondent, Patrick Christys.

I did some digging for information on Raja Miah and it turns out that he has an axe to grind: he ran two free schools which failed and was secretly blacklisted from further involvement in education. He makes wild accusations against local Labour MPs and councillors and when inquiries do not support his claims, he calls them a whitewash. On one of the podcasts, he claimed that Axel Rudukabana, the teenager who carried out the triple stabbing in Southport that sparked the 2024 race riots, was an Islamist and the fact that he had ricin, a poison used in past assassinations and which has become associated with terrorism, proves it; in fact, the precursors for ricin, such as castor oil beans and the plant that produces them, are readily available and Rudukabana had a long history of violent behaviour at school, going back to his early teens, was obsessed with violence and was not Muslim at all. He accuses Labour politicians of collusion in postal vote fraud, and rails against what he calls sectarian candidates for parliament, but fails to consider that much postal vote fraud was intended to prevent young people voting for precisely these candidates, and during the Blair years, for candidates such as George Galloway and Salma Yaqoub. This is not a very rational individual. However, he did make one useful observation, which was that the ‘Pakistani’ grooming gangs nearly all traced back to around three villages in the Mirpur area of Azad Kashmir and were basically one big family. This is not a problem endemic in the entire Muslim community; its core is a criminal element in a sub-group of a sub-group. Racists commonly allege that the gang members are of “Pakistani ethnicity”; anyone who knows anything about Pakistan knows that there is no such thing. It is just a category used in British bureaucracy, for statistics, diversity monitoring and so on.

There is a widespread assumption that the Muslim community as a whole is responsible because it sheltered the abusers or failed to turn them in to the police. “There isn’t enough said about how SHAMEFUL the Islamic community in the UK is for shielding their men who r*ped and groomed British girls,” proclaimed the Australian “writer/artist” Alexandra Marshall. Everyone knew, she alleges, from their wives to the neighbours to the mosques and community leaders. This is simply not true: the Muslim community is spread across the country, is very diverse, featuring people whose origins are all over the world, not just in Pakistan or even south Asia but also the Middle East, Africa and Europe itself, including the UK. We do not all know what is going on in towns 150 miles or more away, and even if we are aware of something untoward happening, that does not mean we know exactly what, or who is involved. Not every minority group, whether it’s religious, ethnic or (say) disability-based, is so close-knit that everyone knows each other, as people outside them often assume.

There is, however, plenty of evidence that both police and social services, care home staff and other authorities knew already, turning a blind eye because they regarded the victims as ‘difficult’, “their own worst enemies”, “child prostitutes” and various other victim-blaming descriptions. The police “locker-room culture” in which women are assumed to be asking for it or to be unreliable witnesses, and which protects officers who abuse their partners or colleagues, is well-known; let’s not forget that one of the police forces in Yorkshire preferred to believe a tape with a man’s voice on it than women who said their attacker was local and missed many opportunities to catch the Yorkshire Ripper earlier. Fiona Goddard mentioned that the police arrested her and let one of her abusers get away, and that care home staff knew she was missing for days and shut her out when she came back drunk. The system did not, and does not, allow care staff to physically prevent children from going out even if they are known to be at risk of exploitation or abuse unless the home is a registered secure home, of which there are only 14 in the country (only one, in Peterborough, is just for girls), and there have been accounts on Twitter from people who worked in such places that they had to let the girls go because it would have been illegal to prevent them. Of course, some people who run away are fleeing abusive situations, but there needs to be a way to protect girls from this type of abuse and right now there is none.

As for the accusations of “Eid rape” made on GB News, that little cabal are pretending not to understand why that claim is racist, and indeed dangerous. The reason is that it was phrased, both in the TV clip and in the tweet from a third party, shared by one of the participants, in such a way as to imply that this behaviour is normal for Muslims in the UK — that we get together to rape young white working-class girls, rather than going to the mosque or the open-air prayer in the morning then home for a family meal in the afternoon, which is what we actually do. I’m sure they’ve heard of the blood libel, because the phrase is bandied around whenever war crimes by the Israelis are documented in Gaza; the actual blood libel started when a boy was found murdered in a Jewish quarter in England, and a myth was spun that his blood had been used as a food ingredient on Passover. The crime of one, or maybe a small group, or maybe as in this case a criminal family and their scummy friends and clients, was assumed to be the practice of all. If anyone professes not to understand why this claim was racist, they are either racist themselves, or stupid, or both.

I’m not calling Fiona Goddard or any other victim of the grooming gangs a liar (though some of the racist politicians and hack journalists who have latched onto this story undoubtedly are), but the only people with any blame for this apart from the perpetrators themselves are the politicians, councillors, police officers, social workers and others who allowed this to happen for several decades, leaving a trail of broken lives in numerous towns and cities, not because they were scared of being called racist but because they thought the same of the girls being abused that their abusers did. Lastly, anyone tempted to support Rupert Lowe’s new party imagining that they will usher in misogyny-free new age should read the words of his candidate in the upcoming Gorton and Denton by-election, Nick Buckley MBE:

Many British young women are wh*res but don’t realise they are. The days of morality & decorum are over. They make poor wives & poor mothers. They also contribute to the idea that all women are easy & can be abused.

Far Away [Part 9] – Crane Dances In The River

Muslim Matters - 15 February, 2026 - 14:07

On the night of a double birthday and a full moon, Darius is drawn deeper into the struggle between the healer he is meant to become and the warrior he cannot stop being.

Read Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Note: This is the last chapter of Far Away until after Ramadan. That’s why this chapter is extra long. In the meantime, look for my Ramadan-themed short story series.

* * *

Cutting Hay

It was late morning. Haaris and I had finished carrying in a huge stack of bundled hay that had been cut from the far field. The bundles were stacked almost as high as my shoulders, bound with twisted straw rope and smelling of dust and summer.

“Bring some bundles to the straw cutter,” Haaris instructed. The cutter stood beside the pile, bolted to a low wooden frame, the long handle worn smooth where hands had gripped it over the years. I had noticed it before, but this was the first time we were using it.

I handed Haaris a bundle, and he shoved it across the flat bed beneath the blade.

“Keep your fingers back,” he said gravely, tapping the slot where the iron would fall. “If you leave them here you will lose them. Baba says a man in the next village lost three.”

“Okay,” I said.

He gave me a suspicious look, as if unsure whether I truly understood.

He pulled the lever down. The blade came through with a heavy, clean chop. A neat spill of short-cut hay dropped into the basket below.

I stared. On my father’s farm, I had cut fodder with a hand blade on a chopping block, bent over until my back burned, hacking again and again while Lady Two waited, her dark eyes patient. In winter, my fingers had gone numb before I had finished enough for a single feeding. The cuts had been uneven, some too long, some too short, and I had always been in a hurry because there was so much else to do.

Here, the hay fell in perfect lengths with every stroke.

“Let me try.”

Haaris stepped aside, pleased to be asked.

I fed the bundle forward the way I had seen him do, lined it up, and brought the lever down. The resistance traveled through the wood into my arms, solid and satisfying.

We continued, Haaris feeding and me chopping. The rhythm came quickly. It felt almost like martial arts practice, the alignment and timing, the clean finish of each stroke.

“This would have saved me so much time on my farm,” I commented.

Haaris grinned. “You see? We are very advanced here.”

I smiled and kept working.

“Not too much at once,” Haaris said. “Or it will jam.”

“I know.”

“You don’t know everything,” he replied cheerfully.

I let that pass.

As we worked, Haaris explained that when it was done, we would soak the cut hay briefly, then mix it with bean mash, to make it easier to eat and more nutritious. I sort of knew this. On my old farm, I’d mixed it with chopped greens for the same reason.

Haaris talked about how the black goat had tried to butt him that morning and how Bao had caught another rat in the granary. “She ate half of it. So gross. It’s not like she needs it. I always feed her beef fat.”

When we were done, I ran my hand once along the smooth wooden frame, almost without thinking.

“Do not put your hand under there,” Haaris said suddenly, pointing at the blade again.

“I won’t,” I told him, smiling.

Animals Wrestling

We’d finished it quickly, and Haaris wanted to take a break from work to play what he called “animals wrestling,” where we each pretended to be an animal – I might be a bear, and he’d be a tiger – and we would wrestle while acting like our animal. We were supposed to growl, bark, or hiss like that animal. I found it silly, but Haaris loved it, so I indulged him every now and then. This morning, I was a chimera, and Haaris was a tiger.

I didn’t even know what a chimera was, but Haaaris explained that it had a deer’s body, a dragon’s head and scales, and cloven hooves. It was a gentle, herbivorous creature that avoided harming any living creature, and would even walk on clouds to avoid crushing grass.

He could not tell me how such a creature was supposed to fight, so when he charged in with teeth bared and hands in claws, I danced away, saying in an airy voice, “I cannot harm you, o human child.”

Haaris found this hilarious. He fell on the ground laughing and holding his stomach. Even I chuckled a bit.

“Well, isn’t this the sweetest little picture?” a rough voice said.

Capable of Violence

I whirled, shocked. There before me stood six people. Four men and two women, their boots and trousers caked with road dust. The men were young, broad-shouldered, their faces hard and unashamed. The gate had been closed, though not locked. These people had opened the gate and walked straight into the farm without permission. And I, utter fool that I was, had been so engrossed in a stupid children’s game that I had not heard them.

They stood loosely spaced, as if by habit rather than plan. The men were broad-shouldered, their movements unhurried, the kind of ease that comes from knowing one is feared more often than challenged. One of them, taller than the rest and perhaps nearing forty, had a thinning hairline and a permanent squint, as if the world annoyed him. Another, younger and lean, chewed on something and watched me with idle curiosity.

The leader stood slightly forward, though no one had announced him as such. He was about twenty-five, compact and alert, with sharp eyes that missed little. His hand rested near the hilt of a short blade tucked into his sash. The others mirrored him without thinking, their weapons cheap but serviceable: cudgels, a rusted spearhead hafted to a pole, knives with worn handles. These were not soldiers, but they were not desperate either.

None looked starved, though all looked… I couldn’t think of a word until I realized that they reminded me of my father when he was drunk. Capable of violence. Not only capable, but unconcerned. Violence to these men was a casual thing, a tool to be employed and then forgotten. They would kill, and it would mean nothing to them.

One of the women stood with them openly. She had a scar along her chin, pale and thick, as if it had healed badly. Her gaze was steady, appraising, and without shame. The other woman remained a step behind, her shoulders rounded, her eyes fixed on the ground. When she shifted her weight, she did so as quietly as possible, like someone trying not to be noticed.

The scarred woman glanced at Haaris, then grinned.

“That one’s pretty,” she said, nodding toward him. “Cute. He’d fetch a good price in the night market.”

Haaris froze.

Crane Dances in the River

I felt something cold settle in my chest.

“Run,” I said, without turning my head. “Go to your father. Now.” And I took a step to the side to place myself between the men and Haaris.

Haaris hesitated, just long enough for one of the men to take a step forward.

I moved before I thought.

My body dropped into River Flow as naturally as breathing. My weight sank, and my vision widened. I took them all in at once: the looseness of their grips, the way one man favored his left leg, the impatience flickering in the leader’s eyes. The man stepping toward Haaris was young, perhaps the youngest among them, his confidence not yet tempered by consequence.

“Move, boy,” he said to me, and reached out.

I kicked him in the stomach, sharp and fast, and quite hard.

The breath went out of him in a pained grunt. Before he could recover, I swept his forward foot with my instep. As he pitched toward me, off balance and surprised, I drove my knee upward into his jaw, which cracked audibly. A small bit of flesh flew out of his mouth, and I guessed he’d bitten off the end of his own tongue.

He went down hard and did not rise. Blood poured from his mouth.

“Crane dances in the river,” I said softly, almost dreamily, and I knew that I had a smile on my face, though I did not care.

For a heartbeat, everything stopped.

The other men tensed as one, hands flying to their weapons. A few of them cursed. One said, “What the devil?” The woman with the scar shifted her stance, her eyes bright. The cowed woman gasped softly.

Then Ma Shushu’s voice cut through the air.

“Hold! What is the meaning of this?”

He strode forward, calm but unmistakably furious. Lee Ayi was behind him, her face pale. She had one hand behind her back, as if hiding something. Haaris had vanished into the house.

“We need food,” the leader said. His tone was not a request. “And money. Your boy here has harmed one of my men. You owe restitution for that.”

I considered dashing into the house to retrieve my dao.  One of the thugs was already down, which left three. Of those three, one had a bad knee. As for the woman with the scar, she was clearly capable of violence, but did not appear to be armed. With the dao, I could take them all, I was sure of it. It wouldn’t even be hard.

But no, I could not leave Ma Shushu to face the group alone, even for a moment. Instead, I would dispatch the leader with my bare hands, take his blade, then use it to put down the others. I shifted my weight forward.

Before I could take a step, Ma Shushu whistled.

It was a sharp, piercing sound, nothing like the gentle calls he used with the animals. From the far field, the farmworkers straightened and began to run. Hoes and poles were still in their hands.

The men hesitated. One spat into the dirt.

“Another time,” he muttered.

They backed away, dragging their unconscious companion with them, leaving a trail of spattered blood in the dirt, not even picking him up to carry him with dignity, but dragging him through the dust. They retreated down the road without further words.

A Great Healer

Ma Shushu walked to the gate, and I followed at his side. He glanced sideways at me but said nothing. After verifying that the group was gone, he locked the gate – something that was normally only done at night. Then he turned to me with a troubled gaze.

“I do not approve of violence.”

I chewed on my lip, but I did not look away. “They tried to take Haaris. They said they would sell him in something called a night market.”

He tipped his head back, looking up at the gray sky. “Why didn’t you call for me sooner?”

I shrugged. “It happened very fast.”

“Darius.” Ma Shushu’s voice was low, his body still. My shoulders tensed as I felt the hammer about to drop. He was going to send me away. I had always known this moment would come, must come. Who was I to think I could be cared for, loved, and safe? What kind of fool was I?

“You have the potential to be a great healer,” Ma Shushu said.

I glanced up at him in surprise. “Huh? Me?”

“I’ve seen how you watch when I treat my patients. How your hands move in the air, mimicking my movements. Sometimes you look to the medicine that is needed before I even select it. You could be as good as me or better. This could be your future, your calling. Your means of providing for yourself and your family in this world.”

My mouth hung open. “I…”

“I do not approve of violence. The commission of violence is not compatible with healing.”

I did not know what to say.

Ma Shushu gave an annoyed cluck of his tongue, then began to walk away. He took two steps, then turned back to me. “I caught the last bit as you put that man down. You said something. What was it?”

I swallowed and cleared my throat. “Crane dances in the river,” I whispered.

Ma Shushu’s eyes narrowed the tiniest bit. He gave me a long, even gaze, then turned away again. I watched as he went to the farmworkers, clapping their shoulders and telling them they would receive an extra coin’s pay at the end of the day.

When he was done with that, he called me over and said, “Your aunt Jade is preparing a special meal for tonight. You should go help her. And tell Haaris to finish cutting the hay, then go check the animals in the far field. Make sure the fence along the ditch has not loosened.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, and walked away. Only much later did I realize that he never asked how I had done what I did to the thug. He had expressed no surprise at my ability. Only disappointment at the deed.

Ayah!

Halfway back to the house, I encountered Bao hunched in the dust of the path, eating something she had found. “What do you have there, kitty?” I asked. “Another rat?” Bao was absolutely amazing at catching –

I saw what she was eating. It was the thug’s tongue.  A laugh tore out of me, so exuberant and fierce that I tipped my head back and opened my mouth wide. Immediately, however, the laughter died, and my face went flat. This isn’t supposed to be funny, I thought. What’s the matter with me? I rubbed my face vigorously, averted my eyes from Bao and her bloody little meal, and walked on.

I found Haaris sitting on the front step of the house, blowing on a blade of grass with his eyes closed.

“What are you doing?”

“There’s some way to whistle with grass. I saw one of my cousins do it once. Auntie Ming’s son, the fat one. But I don’t know how.”

I passed on the message from his father.

He opened his eyes and gazed at me intensely. “I was watching from the door. I saw what you did.”

“Okay…” I crossed my arms, expecting him to judge me.

“It was incredible!” he shouted, and jumped up. “You went like this! Ayah!” He threw a clumsy kick. “Then like this, chaka! And like this!” He performed a reasonable imitation of my moves, like an actor on the stage. “How did you learn that?”

I shrugged. “From my father. Now go check on the animals like your Baba said. And don’t talk about it anymore, please.”

He walked off, still shouting, “Ayah!”

I went inside.

The kitchen was warm and fragrant. A large pot simmered over the low fire, steam rising in steady curls. Lee Ayi stood at the long wooden table, sleeves rolled back, flour dusting her forearms. Before her lay a mound of dough, smooth and elastic. She was pulling it into long strands, folding it, stretching again, her movements confident and practiced.

“Wash your hands,” she said without looking up.

I did so at the basin, scrubbing carefully.

She handed me a cleaver and gestured toward a basket of scallions and garlic. “Slice these thinly. Not crushed. Even pieces.”

I began cutting. The garlic stung my nose and made my eyes water. The scallions released a sharp, green scent. On the stove, chunks of beef simmered with ginger and dried chilies. The broth had already turned cloudy and rich.

“These are longevity noodles,” she said, pulling another long rope of dough until it thinned under its own weight. “They must remain uncut.”

“What is it for? What’s the occasion?”

“It’s Haaris’s birthday. Fifteenth day of the Tenth Month. He is eleven today.”

“Oh.”

She set the stretched strands aside and turned to a wooden board where sesame seeds had been lightly toasted. “Grind these,” she instructed.

I used the stone mortar, pressing and turning until the seeds released their oil and became a thick, fragrant paste. She mixed it with honey and shaped small cakes that she would fry quickly in oil later.

For a time, we worked in silence.

The Family Dao

“Zihan Ma is mad at me,” I said.

Lee Ayi stopped working and regarded me. “It’s his instinctive reaction to violence. But he will soften up. He knows you saved Haaris.”

“I saw you watching. You had something behind your back.”

She looked at the ground, then up at me. “I had my dao. But do not tell Husband.”

“Your wooden dao?”

“No.” She wiped her hands clean, then walked to the front door, looked outside, and then went to her bedroom. A moment later, she came out with a real dao in a gorgeous wooden sheath. She held it with both hands, not casually, but the way one carries something entrusted. The sheath was deep red, worn darker along the edges where fingers had touched it over the years. A pattern ran along its length in thin gold inlay, not gaudy, but precise. The design was of five animals arranged in a circle: tiger, crane, leopard, snake, and dragon, each flowing into the next so that no single creature dominated the design.

I stared.

“This is the Lee family dao,” she said quietly. “It has been passed down for many generations.”

She knelt and set it carefully across her lap. “After Jun De died, it should have gone to Yong. My father had it prepared for him. But when Yong was sent away, my father could not bear to see it hanging unused.” She paused. “He gave it to me.”

I stared at it longingly, Zihan Ma’s admonitions forgotten.

“May I draw it?”

She nodded. “Be careful. It is very sharp.”

I took it carefully and drew the blade.

The steel slid free with a soft whisper. The metal was slightly curved, bright but not mirror-polished. Fine lines ran along its surface like ripples, the mark of careful forging. Near the base of the blade, etched shallowly but unmistakably, was the Five Animals symbol again, the same circular design as on the sheath.

The handle was unlike any I had held before. It was pale and smooth, dense and cool beneath my fingers.

“Is this bone?”

“Fossilized ivory.”

Inlaid into the handle were thin slivers of mother-of-pearl that caught the light and shimmered softly. The balance was perfect. Not heavy, not light. It rested in my hand as if it had been made for it.

I swallowed.

“The sheath?” I asked.

“Gold inlay over teak.”

An Inherited Disease

I gave the weapon a quick twirl.

Lee Ayi gasped. “Careful!”

I smiled and stood, stepping back to a clear area in the living room. Without warning, I shot the dao out in a long jab, then whipped it back and forth in a fanning motion. I slashed diagonally, then drew it up between my body and my free hand – a very risky thing to do with a live blade. Spinning, I hid the blade behind my back, then used the momentum of the spin to whip it out in a wide arc. I continued, thrusting and slashing, moving my feet in tight steps, mindful of the limitations of the space. After a few minutes, I stopped, approached Lee Ayi and bowed to her, offering the dao with both hands.

She stared at me open-mouthed, then took the dao and sheathed it carefully.

“Do not tell me,” she said, “that Yong was mad enough to make you practice with a live blade.”

“I’m sure he would have, if he’d owned one. No, I was mad enough to do it myself.” I lifted my left pant leg and showed her the long, raised scar across my thigh. “Not without a few accidents, though.”

She shook her head. “We’re all insane. It’s like an inherited disease.”

“Who?”

“Us.” She pointed back and forth between herself and me. “The Lee family.” She blew out a heavy breath. “Let’s get back to work.” She put away the dao, and we worked in silence after that.

Birthdays

As evening approached, the table was set. The noodles were cooked carefully and lifted whole into bowls, long and unbroken. The beef was tender, the broth deep and hot. The sesame cakes were golden and sticky with honey.

We prayed Maghreb as a family, then sat to eat. Zihan Ma said a dua for the family, and a special dua for Haaris, asking Allah to protect him, grant him health and wisdom, and to always keep him on the path of Islam.

The food was wonderful, and I ate quietly, thinking about all that had happened that day.

“When’s your birthday, Darius?” Haaris asked.

The question caught me off guard.

“In late summer,” I said. “When the cicadas are loud.”

“What day?”

“I don’t know the day.”

“How come you don’t know? And how old are you now?”

“I’m fourteen.”

Haaris gave a puzzled frown. “That’s all?”

“But if it’s in late summer,” Lee Ayi said, “then it has already passed. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“My mother used to give me an extra portion of food on my birthday. After she passed, my father never marked it. I didn’t think it mattered. I did not know you would celebrate such things.”

Looking around the table, I saw that Haaris looked confused, Zihan Ma appeared regretful, and Lee Ayi had tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to ruin the evening.”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Zihan Ma said. He came to me and put an arm around my shoulders. “Next year, we will celebrate your birthday on the 15th day of the 8th month. But this year, today is your birthday.” He raised his hands and made a dua: “O Allah, I ask you by all your names, and by your mercy, to protect this boy Darius. Purify his heart with water and snow. Make him a great healer, and put barakah in his hands.”

He stood. “We have gifts.”

Haaris received a thick winter coat lined with cotton, and a wool cap dyed a dark green. He turned the coat over in his hands, beaming.

“For when the north wind comes,” Lee Ayi said.

Then Zihan Ma handed me two things: the round white Muslim cap that he always wore for salat, and a long wooden sabha made of sandalwood with three sections of 33 beads each. These were both his own, I knew. I had seen him using the sabha to count the praises of Allah.

I didn’t care that he had not planned these gifts in advance. The fact that he gave me something of his own touched me, and I smiled widely and genuinely, and thanked him.

Outside Looking In

Even as all this transpired, however, I felt like an actor. No, not an actor exactly. My happiness was real, but I was disconnected from it, as if I were actually standing outside the house in the cold, peering in through a gap in the shutters.

I saw the smile on my own face as if it belonged to someone else. I heard my own voice answering Haaris’s jokes. Watching from outside like a beggar, I saw myself take a bite of a honeyed sesame cake.

I saw Zihan Ma, wanting me to be something I was not. My eyes moved to Haaris, watching me with a strange mixture of admiration, awe, and pity. And I saw Lee Ayi – another stranger in her own home. Another Lee. She was not in the house. She was out here, with me, in the cold, looking through the window at a shadow of herself.

That night, when the house had grown quiet and the lamps were extinguished, I lay awake.

Moonlight spilled through the window, pale and full. The fifteenth of the month was always a full moon, I knew that much at least.

I rose carefully and drew my own dao in its sheath from beneath my mattress. Strapping it to my back, I stepped outside.

Silver Fields

The fields were silver. The air had turned frigid. I walked to the far field and planted my feet in the hard earth, then swiveled them lightly, feeling the texture of the earth. Reaching up to my shoulder, I drew the dao.

At first, I moved slowly, feeling the balance of the blade. Then the faces of the six intruders returned to me. The scar along the woman’s chin. The young man’s jaw snapping beneath my knee.

They would come again. If not them, then others. “In the end, no one will protect you but you. No one will save you but you.” That was my father’s voice.

“Allah is the Protector of the believers. He brings them out of darkness into light.” That was Zihan Ma’s.

I moved faster. The blade cut the air in clean arcs. My steps sharpened. I struck as if someone stood before me. “Violence only begets more violence,” Zihan Ma would say.

I moved even faster. I drove myself until my arms trembled and my lungs burned. When at last I stopped, the tip of the dao rested against the soil, and I bent forward, breathing hard beneath the full moon.

The household was asleep and silent as I slipped back into my bed.

A Figure in the Dark

This became my routine every night. Do my work, help Zihan Ma with his medical practice, take my classes, study, pray, then – when everyone was asleep – come out here to the far field and train, breathing vapor into the frosty night. Live dao in my hand, I moved like a chimera – not the peace-loving chimera Haaris had told me about, but a Lee family chimera, which must be a creature made up of all the strongest, fiercest, most deadly parts of the five animals.

I moved until my legs trembled and my sides ached. I pushed myself even harder than I had when I was alone, after my father left. After perfecting the old moves, I innovated new ones. My endurance and strength grew. New calluses formed on my hands. Within a month, my shoes were tattered and nearly falling off, though I repaired them as well as I could with Lee Ayi’s sewing needles.

One night, returning to the house after my secret practice session, I saw a figure coming up the path in the dark. The moon was down to a thin metallic crescent, and gloom covered the farm. Yet I could see that the figure walked unsteadily, as if wounded or weak.

I watched the figure, and as it drew closer, my heart seemed to stop in my chest. I did not believe in ghosts, but I did believe in the jinn, for the Quran spoke of them. Silently, without breath, I said, “La ilaha ill-Allah.” My hands twitched from the strength of my pulse as I stood as still as a grave marker in the silent, dark night.

* * *

Come back after Ramadan for Part 10 – Reunion

Reader comments and constructive criticism are important to me, so please comment!

 

See the Story Index for Wael Abdelgawad’s other stories on this website.

Wael Abdelgawad’s novels – including Pieces of a Dream, The Repeaters and Zaid Karim Private Investigator – are available in ebook and print form on his author page at Amazon.com.

Related:

As Light As Birdsong: A Ramadan Story

Kill The Courier – Hiding In Plain Sight

The post Far Away [Part 9] – Crane Dances In The River appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

From The MuslimMatters Bookshelf: Ramadan Reads For 1447 AH

Muslim Matters - 15 February, 2026 - 12:00

Ramadan is closer than ever, and it’s time to order ALL THE RAMADAN BOOKS for your little ones! After all, what better way to get the kidlets into the Ramadan hype than with Ramadan bedtime stories every night? (And of course – get those Eid books in, too!)

P.S. Don’t forget to use the code “MBR” for 15% off all products ordered from Crescent Moon Bookstore!

Toddler Books

Momo and Bronty’s First Book About Allah by Zanib Mian

Even before you start with Ramadan stories, our little ones need to understand the very foundation of our belief – beginning with our love for Allah. With straightforward text, the book describes who Allah is to toddlers. Laila Ramadhani’s adorable illustrations that will keep little ones hooked and connect to the simple words.

Radiant Ramadan by Marzieh Abbas

“Radiant Ramadan” is the third book in Marzieh Abbas and Anoosha Syed’s super cute board books series (Friday Fun and Excited for Eid).

The simple rhyming words and the adorable illustrations remain a winning formula, and will undoubtedly be a beloved Ramadan toddler read.

“Just Right” Ramadan by Jenny Molendyk Divlevi

The Zareen family eagerly awaits Ramadan every year… but will they be able to find the right balance this Ramadan between fasting, worship, hosting guests, and managing their daily tasks?
This relatable story is sure to capture the hearts of families everywhere with its humor and vibrant illustrations.

My Ramadan by Rabia Karzan

My Ramadan is a lift-the-flaps board book that introduces young readers to the joyous traditions of Ramadan. The book explores various aspects of this holy month, such as iftar, suhoor, and the Qur’an. It emphasizes the global unity of Muslims as they commence Ramadan with the sighting of the crescent moon.

Alya and the Eid Moon by Aysha Lakhani

Little Alya wants to find the Eid moon, but she keeps finding things like crescent-shaped dinner rolls and her uncle’s shiny bald head instead!

This silly board book should be read out with much exaggeration to induce many giggles from the little ones, and will likely become a fun favourite.

Excited for Eid by Marzieh Abbas

Written by the same author as “Radiant Ramadan,” this delightful board book shares its charm and so much Muslim joy! Join a sweet celebration of Eid in this irresistible board book highlighting the traditions of the end of Ramadan.

Picture Books

A Ramadan Night by Nadine Presley

The call for prayer hugs tight the sky of Damascus on the first night of Ramadan. As steps flutter to fill spaces in mosques, Sami sets out on a nighttime walk with Baba to answer his what does a Ramadan night feel like?

I love love LOVE that this entire book is about the true essence of Ramadan, and not some generic crescent moon or first fast or cultural iftar story. The illustrations and the text alike are steeped in Islam, making it the perfect book to read to get kids excited for Ramadan.

Zahra’s Blessing: A Ramadan Story by Shirin Shamsi

As Ramadan arrives, young Zahra has a special du’a in her heart. Zahra’s mother gently teaches her about Ramadan blessings and the importance of selfless generosity, and by the end, she discovers that the answer to her du’a is more amazing than she could have ever imagined! Richly lit up with Manal Mirza’s vibrant illustrations, this story is truly special.

Ramadan for Everyone by Aya Khalil

Ramadan is here! And this year, Habeeba is finally going to fast all day, every day, and pray all the special Ramadan prayers at night at the masjid, just like her older sister, Sumaya. The holy month is filled with decorations, beading, crafts, delicious recipes, religious ceremonies—so much activity that it’s hard for Habeeba to stay awake during prayer services or to resist Baba’s gooey, cheese-filled kunafa drenched in sweet syrup when she gets home from school. Habeeba is discouraged. How else can she be observant like Sumaya?

Ramadan Rain by Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow

Haneen’s Momma says that during Ramadan raindrops bring blessings and answer prayers. As they travel through the streets on a slow bus ride, rain drips down the window, and Haneen prays for new shoes and bright dresses–gifts she really, really wants to receive for Eid.

When they arrive at the masjid, Haneen makes Eid cards with the twins, Safa and Marwa, helps give out dates and water and spread tarps for dinner, and whispers duas–and, as she does, she begins to wish for something different. Something she wants more than anything. After all, the most precious gifts are not shoes and dresses, but the kindness of friends and the magic of faith. And, of course, the love of your Momma.

Ramadan On Rahma Road by Razeena Omar Gutta

“Ramadan on Rahma Road: A Recipe Storybook” introduces us to Rahma Road, where Muslims of many diverse backgrounds get together to observe Ramadan together. +10 points for this book explicitly mentioning recitation of Qur’an and fasting with hope for reward from Allah!

Each spread features a glimpse of a family’s iftar prep, and a recipe for the meal that comes from the diverse backgrounds: roti bom for Malaysians (yay!!), koshary for Egyptians, and even South African rep with bunny chow!

The recipes look great, there is explicit Islamic rep, and this is honestly a great way to do the Ramadan-and-food angle. There’s also some good backmatter that talks about what Ramadan actually is!

Upside-Down Iftar by Maysa Odeh

Malak can’t wait to help her grandmother make iftar for their family. But when they decide to make makloubeh, everyone has a favorite ingredient to add, and Malak isn’t sure how they’ll fit it all in! This iftar is sure to be one to remember!

Packed with warm, vibrant illustrations and the beautiful chaos of a bustling kitchen, Upside Down Iftar is a heartwarming celebration of family, food, and culture.

Ibraheem’s Perfect Eid by Farhana Islam

Ibraheem loves Eid because Eid means presents! What’s not to love? But when Eid arrives, and the day brings trips to the mosque, fantastic food, family, games and fun but NO PRESENTS Ibraheem begins to worry! Has something gone terribly wrong?

“Ibraheem’s Perfect Eid” by Farhana Islam is actually super cute… AND incorporated actual Islam rather than brushing Eid off as a cultural holiday.

While the story itself is focused on Ibraheem worried about whether he got presents or not, it also incorporates references to the Sunan of Eid, shows Eid salah (and Ibraheem actually listening to the khutbah!), and niqabi rep in the illustrations which ALWAYS makes me happy.

A Golden Eid by Hiba Noor Khan

Hafsa and her family have spotted a crescent moon in the sky and ended their long Ramadan fast. Now they are getting ready to spend Eid with their loved ones? Decorating the house, donning fancy clothes, and preparing lots of delicious food, including halwa, Hafsa’s favorite sweet treat. But when her father begins giving the food away to all the neighbors, Hafsa is worried that there won’t be anything left for her!

 

 

 

Related:

From The MuslimMatters Bookshelf: Ramadan Reads 2024

The MM Edit: Ramadan Reads 2022

 

The post From The MuslimMatters Bookshelf: Ramadan Reads For 1447 AH appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

Closed-door apologies are not enough for a community confronted by images of worshippers being seized by NSW police | Aftab Malik

The Guardian World news: Islam - 13 February, 2026 - 14:00

Long-term trust depends on demonstrating that state power can be corrected as well as asserted

On Monday, footage from Sydney’s CBD showed a group of men being dragged and shoved by police while praying. However, the men did not react with rage but with discipline. They continued their prayers even as officers approached. There were no fists raised, no retaliation, and no chaos; instead, there was the quiet continuity of a ritual that once begun could not be abandoned.

For observant Muslims, the moment of prostration – forehead to ground – is symbolically considered the closest proximity to God. It’s a posture of complete vulnerability with the body lowered, ego surrendered, and the world shut out. The ritual prayer is considered to be the foundation of Islam. This made the footage profoundly confronting for many Muslim Australians. Interrupting someone at their most defenceless position isn’t just moving a body; it’s intruding upon an intimate act of surrender.

Continue reading...

How to plan Ramadan meals: minimal work, maximum readiness

The Guardian World news: Islam - 13 February, 2026 - 08:00

Preparing simple, repetitive meals is the key to 30 days of fasting

Ramadan arrives this year in February, in the heart of winter. Short days, cold evenings and the pressure of everyday work mean that preparation is no longer about producing abundance, but about reducing effort while maintaining care. For many households balancing jobs, children and long commutes, the question is not what to cook, but how to make the month manageable.

The most effective approach to Ramadan cooking is not variety but repetition. A small set of meals that are easy to digest, quick to prepare and gentle on the body can carry a household through 30 days of fasting with far less stress than daily reinvention. The aim is to do the thinking once, not every day.

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Parenting Through Times Of Fear, Injustice, And Resistance: A Trauma-Informed, Faith-Centered Guide

Muslim Matters - 12 February, 2026 - 10:07

On a quiet school morning, a mother stands frozen at her front window, watching the street. Her child’s backpack rests by the door. The bus is coming. But so is fear.

Across the country, Black, Brown, Indigenous, immigrant, and Muslim parents are waking up each day with the same question: Is it safe to send my child outside today?

Immigration raids, masked enforcement officers, public arrests, and aggressive policing have turned ordinary routines like school drop-offs, grocery trips, and morning commutes into moments of terror. Parenting in this climate is no longer just about guidance and discipline. It is about survival, protection, and moral courage.

For Muslims and families of color, this moment is not new. It is history repeating itself, and our nervous systems know it.

When History Enters the Living Room: What Families Are Feeling

For Black and Brown communities, regardless of faith, today’s fear is deeply familiar. Masked raids, public arrests, and militarized enforcement mirror older systems of racial terror, slave patrols, the KKK, lynchings, and state-sanctioned violence. The uniforms have changed. The trauma has not.

One father described the moment his child whispered, “Are they going to take you too?” Another parent shared that her elementary-aged daughter began packing her favorite toy in her backpack just in case she never made it home.

Our nervous systems respond before our minds can catch up. Hearts race. Muscles tense. Breathing becomes shallow. This is trauma physiology, the body recognizing danger long before logic arrives.

Children should be in school learning, not hiding in fear from masked men who resemble symbols of racial terror. Yet families are afraid to leave their homes, to go grocery shopping, or to send their children to the bus stop. That constant fear reshapes daily life, fractures trust, destabilizes families, and erodes dignity.

Even if policies change tomorrow, the psychological imprint remains.

When children witness this, their sense of safety, justice, and belonging is fundamentally shaken.

Collective Trauma and the Cost of Dehumanization parenting

“Children should be in school learning, not hiding in fear from masked men who resemble symbols of racial terror.” [PC: Tamirlan Maratov (unsplash)]

These policies expose how systems rooted in colonialism, racism, and surveillance continue to operate by othering and dehumanizing entire communities.

For generations, violence has been normalized towards Muslim and non-Muslim Black and Brown bodies. It has been expected, dismissed, and minimized. But when fear enters white communities, something shifts. Suddenly, the threat becomes real, urgent, and visible.

One parent said, “For the first time, my white neighbors looked afraid, and I realized they were just beginning to feel what we have carried for centuries.”

Healing requires reckoning with how violence is stored in our bodies, normalized in our culture, and selectively grieved.

The Qur’an reminds us that division weakens and unity protects:

“And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided.” [Surah ‘Ali-Imran: 3;103]

When communities fracture, they become easier to control. Collective care and collective strategy are how we survive agendas rooted in dehumanization.

Grief, Fear, and Finding God in the Middle of the Storm

What families are experiencing is collective grief layered with shock, numbness, anger, helplessness, and profound loss of safety.

One mother shared, “Every siren feels personal. Every knock at the door makes my chest tighten.

In Islam, spiritual grounding is not passive. It is psychologically protective and proactive.

When human power becomes abusive and unpredictable, reconnecting to Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) restores emotional stability, dignity, and hope.

We begin by anchoring our families in Allah’s subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) Names that heal fear and rage:

  • Al-‘Adl (The Utterly Just): So injustice never feels permanent.

  • Al-Ḥakam (The Ultimate Judge): When courts and systems fail.

  • Al-Mu’min (The Giver of Safety): When the world feels dangerous.

  • Al-Jabbār (The Restorer of the Broken): When hearts are shattered.

  • Al-Qahhār (The Overpowering): When oppression feels unstoppable.

  • Ar-Raḥmān & Ar-Raḥīm (The Most Merciful): When grief overwhelms.

While we have so many emotions and feelings about what we are witnessing and feeling, the Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) reminded us of the power these emotions have:

“Beware the supplication of the oppressed, for it is answered.” [Bukhari]

The Qur’an also helps us give meaning to our challenges that we are witnessing by reminding us:

“Do people think once they say, ‘We believe,’ that they will be left without being tested?” [Surah Al”Ankabut: 29;2]

This spiritual grounding transforms fear and despair into moral courage and purpose.

Parenting in Crisis: How Do We Talk to Our Children?

Children are absorbing everything: conversations, headlines, social media clips, whispered worries. Silence does not protect them. Connection does.

One father described sitting on his son’s bed, trying to explain why people were being taken away. His son listened quietly, then asked, “But Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) sees, right?”

That question holds everything.

Trauma-informed parenting means:

  • Starting with emotional connection

  • Asking what children already know

  • Gently correcting misinformation

  • Letting children ask their hardest questions

  • Naming emotions: fear, anger, sadness, confusion

  • Teaching body awareness: “Where do you feel that fear?”

  • Practicing grounding through dua, prayer, breathing, movement, and routine

  • Offering constant reassurance of love and presence

Emotionally safe children are not shielded from reality. They are anchored in relationship, faith, and belonging.

Community as Medicine: Why Healing Must Be Collective

The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) warned:

“Stick to the community, for the wolf eats only the stray sheep.” [Tirmidhi]

In moments of fear, community becomes medicine. In mosques, community centers, and living rooms, families are gathering, sharing food, childcare, prayers, legal resources, and emotional support. Children play while parents exchange updates. Elders remind everyone: We have survived worse.

Community regulates nervous systems, restores dignity, and prevents despair.

The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) taught us:

“Whoever among you sees injustice, let them change it with their hand, their voice, or at the very least, their heart.” [Muslim]

Collective action — mutual aid, coalition-building, advocacy, and peaceful organizing — transforms fear into resistance.

From Fear to Moral Courage: A Call to Parents

This moment calls parents to raise children not only in safety but in dignity, justice, and courage.

Standing against injustice becomes an act of worship. Advocacy becomes healing. Solidarity becomes faith in action.

Silence is not neutrality. Silence allows harm to grow.

Our children are watching. They are learning how to respond when the world becomes unjust.

Trauma-informed, spiritually grounded parenting offers children more than survival. It offers purpose. It teaches them that they belong, that they matter, and that they are never alone.

Through faith, community, and courageous action, families of color do more than endure. They resist, heal, and rise.

May they learn that fear can become courage. That grief can become service. And that faith can become resistance.

 

Related:

[Podcast] Parenting with Purpose | Eman Ahmed

Audio Article: Raising Resilient Muslim Kids

The post Parenting Through Times Of Fear, Injustice, And Resistance: A Trauma-Informed, Faith-Centered Guide appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

Rejecting Muslim hostility definition sends message ‘your safety doesn’t matter’, peer says

The Guardian World news: Islam - 11 February, 2026 - 14:00

Shaista Gohir says every group has right to be protected after critics warn proposed definition risks breaking law

Failing to adopt a definition of anti-Muslim hostility would signal to British Muslims that their safety does not matter, a charity’s head has warned, as critics argue that adopting a definition risks breaking the law.

Shaista Gohir, a cross-bench peer and head of the Muslim Women’s Network, was part of a working group on anti-Muslim hatred and Islamophobia launched by the government in 2025 to define what would constitute unacceptable treatment, prejudice and discrimination against Muslims.

Continue reading...

Recognizing Allah’s Mercy For What It Is: Reclaiming Agency Through Ramadan

Muslim Matters - 10 February, 2026 - 19:51

You open your eyes and reach for your phone before your feet touch the floor. The screen illuminates: notifications, emails, messages, scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, TikTok. You watch without choosing to watch. Thirty minutes dissolve before you register time passing.

You pray Fajr in a rush, if you pray at all, because work awaits. The commute is podcasts at double speed. Work is browser tabs breeding across screens. Evening is Netflix, Instagram, YouTube, and so on. You fall asleep to the glow, wake to the buzz, and somewhere in between wonder: Why do I feel so disconnected?

This is the rhythm of modern life, not chosen, but submitted to. We have become spectators of our own days, passive consumers of time itself. Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) warns us against this state:

“And remember your Lord within yourself in humility and fear, without being loud in speech – in the mornings and the evenings. And do not be among the heedless” [Surah Al’A’raf; 7:205]

We move through life unaware, distracted, passive.

But once a year, something interrupts.

The Spectacle and the Loss of Agency

Guy Debord foresaw this in his concept of “The Spectacle.” Simply put, the spectacle he refers to, is when capitalism invades every aspect of our lives to the point we are spectators in our own lives. This extends beyond the typical capital rift of organisations selling us products, and looks at how the infrastructure for modernity has turned life itself into something to watch, to document, to consume. It occupies our time, our thought process, so that we become bystanders just watching, not living. Life becomes images to consume rather than experiences to live. We don’t choose what we focus on anymore. Our attention has been colonized.

As a Muslim, I think about this constantly, because Islam demands presence and consciousness in every single action. To be honest, I find myself guilty of this often. I catch myself praying while my mind is completely elsewhere. Du’as are rushed so I can get back to the work task at hand. On a bigger scale, this affects our ummah because when our awareness is compromised, we become victims to the spectacle.

So, whenever Ramadan is around the corner, there are usually two forces colliding. There’s the part that embraces the beauty of this month, everything slows down, and we become more conscious. Then there’s a part of us that worries about how this will disrupt our workflow, our routine, our eating habits, the habits we’ve built to stay plugged into the spectacle.

Ramadan: An Intentional Disruption

Ramadan forces us onto a different clock entirely. Not the manufactured time of productivity and lunch breaks, but natural, lunar time. The rhythms of day and night dictate when you eat, not corporate schedules or convenience. You break your fast at Maghrib because the sun has set, not because it’s 6 pm on someone’s invented grid. This is time as Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) intended it, not time as capitalism requires it.

One of the most common responses Muslims give when asked (by non-Muslims) what fasting is about is that it’s “to feel what poor people feel”. But that is stripping it down to a simplistic sentiment. Ramadan is a conscious, deliberate effort to abstain from food, yes, but also from the constant consumption that defines modern life. You are awake to what you’re doing. Every moment you feel hunger, you’re reminded: I am choosing this. I am present in this choice. The discomfort is not there to make you “feel what poor people feel,” that tired cliché that misses the point entirely. The Qur’an states the purpose plainly:

“O you who believe, fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may attain taqwa.” [Surah Al-Baqarah; 2:183]

Taqwa – consciousness of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He); mindful awareness in every action. The discomfort wakes you up. It pulls you from autopilot and reminds you that you have a body, not just a screen-lit face

The nights become different. Taraweeh stretches long after Isha, demanding stamina and focus when Netflix would be easier. Qiyam al-layl pulls you from sleep in the quiet hours. The Qur’an, often rushed through or skipped entirely in other months, becomes a daily companion. These are additions, intensifications, deliberate choices to do more when everything in modern life tells you to do less, to optimize, to streamline.

You become a physical embodiment of presence. Walking to the mosque, standing in prayer for hours, breaking fast with community, and reading Qur’an with intention. You respond to your body’s needs and the natural world’s rhythms. This is what it means to live consciously, to reclaim agency from the system that wants you passive, distracted, and compliant.

Ramadan doesn’t ask politely if it can interrupt your routine. It demands interruption and, in that demand, lies Allah’s subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) Mercy.

The Mercy of Structure Reclaiming agency through Ramadan

“Ramadan is already built, functioning to perfection. We just need to show up and commit to it.” [PC: Shahed Mufleh (unsplash)]

One of the things that has always fascinated me about Ramadan is that even Muslims who are not the most devout usually show up. Some mock them as “Ramadan Muslims,” but I see beauty in this. Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has given us training wheels, a concentrated month to practice, and everyone is entitled to it regardless of their past or how devoted they’ve been. It’s an access point for all, born from the mercy of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He).

This is both discipline and gift. In secular frameworks, people have to organize social gatherings, plan acts of resistance, and build alternative communities from scratch. It’s exhausting work that often fizzles out. But Ramadan is already built, functioning to perfection. We don’t need to invent the cure to modern isolation and passivity. We just need to show up and commit to it. A month where everyone is connected in a conscious effort to reclaim closeness to Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) and to live actively, not passively.

It’s a cure to modern malaise.

From Passivity to Agency

So how can we make the most of this blessed month to move from passivity to agency? It’s a sequence where each act of reclaiming builds the capacity for the next.

  1. Reclaiming Time

It starts with prayer as the structure that organizes everything else. This means praying consciously, not performatively, for at least five minutes before returning to work. Prayer builds rhythm, and it resists the tyranny of notifications and the manufactured urgency of productivity culture. But this only works if you bring full presence to it. Without agency, prayer becomes a hollow ritual.

  1. Reclaiming Consumption

Fasting teaches us about desire and control, but not in the way most people think. Abstinence for a set period is only the beginning. Far more valuable is understanding why we abstain and what consumption does to us. The goal extends beyond prohibiting yourself from eating, but rather to reach a point where you don’t even want to consume mindlessly because you see how it cuts you off from yourself.

This is the space Ramadan creates. In that space, the dopamine cycle breaks. You start to notice how much of your day was spent chasing the next hit of stimulation, scrolling, snacking, streaming, anything to avoid stillness. The physical fast only works if it’s paired with a fast from distraction.

When consumption no longer controls you, attention becomes possible.

  1. Reclaiming Attention

Treating the Qur’an as deep reading in an age of skimming. I’m less concerned with how many times you complete the Qur’an than with whether you’re actually reading, pondering, going deep. Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) asks us: “Do they not reflect upon the Qur’an?” [Surah An-Nisa; 4:82]. Reflection requires time, attention, presence – everything the spectacle denies us. The same applies to taraweeh. Twenty rak’ahs done on autopilot mean less than four done with deep, sustained focus. The discipline of being fully there for one thing, not half-there for many things.

This kind of attention is impossible when you’re still plugged into the spectacle. But when you’ve reclaimed your time and broken the consumption cycle, attention stops being a struggle. 

  1. Reclaiming Community

When Ramadan becomes a social media show; elaborate spreads photographed and posted before anyone eats, or funny reels about relatable Ramadan behavior, we’ve turned the sacred into content. There’s a difference between communal practice and social media solidarity. One builds real relationships while the other maintains audiences.

This Ramadan, I’m using the month to reconnect with people I’ve been too distracted to talk to. Not through a story or a post, but through an actual message, better yet, a call. “Ramadan Mubarak. How are you planning to use this month? What are your resolutions?”

We’re all so connected through our devices. There’s no excuse not to connect as human beings.

Beyond Ramadan: The Training Ground

Ramadan is practice for the other eleven months. That’s the point many of us miss. We treat it as a month of peak devotion, then the gloves come off, and it’s back to business as usual. But the month was never meant to stand alone. It’s a training ground for a life lived consciously.

Small acts of agency compound. You don’t transform your entire life in thirty days. You build capacity, practice choosing, and strengthen the muscle of presence. The habits you build within Ramadan’s structure can sustain you through the chaos waiting outside it.

The test is whether these practices outlive the month. Can you pray Fajr when Ramadan ends? Can you resist the scroll when fasting is no longer required? Can you maintain real community when the ummah disperses back into routine?

Consciousness is a continuous effort, not a one-time Ramadan achievement. This is where many of us fall short, myself included. We mistake intensity for transformation. We think because we felt close to Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) in Ramadan, we’ve arrived. But closeness requires maintenance, and agency requires practice.

Ramadan gives you the tools. What you do with them in Shawwal, in Rajab, in the dead of winter when motivation is gone, that’s where the real work begins.

The Sacred as Resistance

One month later.

You open your eyes. The phone is still on the nightstand, but you don’t reach for it. Not yet. First, Fajr followed by du’a. A moment of stillness before the world makes its demands.

You still have work, and browser tabs still multiply. The dunya hasn’t become simple, but it no longer controls you the way it did. You move through it differently now. Prayer structures your day. You eat consciously, not compulsively. The Qur’an sits open more often than closed. When evening comes, Netflix is a choice, not a reflex. Instagram is something you check, not something you sink into.

You fall asleep without the glow. You wake without reaching for the buzz.

Some days you slip, and some days the spectacle wins. But the capacity is there now. You know what it feels like to live consciously because you practiced it for thirty days. You know what it feels like to have agency because Ramadan gives you the structure to remember.

The rhythm of modern life can be broken. You are no longer just a spectator. You are a participant, deliberate and awake.

That is the gift of Ramadan. Not that it saves you once, but that it shows you how to save yourself, again and again, month after month, for as long as you live.

Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) gives us the tools. The question is whether we’ll keep using them.

 

Related:

[Podcast] Dropping the Spiritual Baggage: Overcoming Malice Before Ramadan | Ustadh Justin Parrott

How to Make this Ramadan Epic | Shaykh Muhammad Alshareef

The post Recognizing Allah’s Mercy For What It Is: Reclaiming Agency Through Ramadan appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

[Podcast] Dropping the Spiritual Baggage: Overcoming Malice Before Ramadan | Ustadh Justin Parrott

Muslim Matters - 10 February, 2026 - 12:00

Ramadan’s just around the corner, and we all want to spiritually prepare for it – but where do we even start? Ustadh Justin Parrott gets us started by identifying the rarely-discussed spiritual disease of malice, and shares tips and tricks on letting go of the emotional and spiritual baggage of malice before Ramadan begins.

Ustadh Justin Parrott holds BAs in Physics and English from Otterbein University, an MLIS from Kent State University, and an MRes in Islamic Studies from the University of Wales. Under the mentorship of Shaykh Dr. Huocaine Chouat, he served as a volunteer imam with the Islamic Society of Greater Columbus until 2013.

He is currently an Associate Academic Librarian at NYU Abu Dhabi and Webmaster for the Middle East Librarians Association (MELA). He previously served as a Senior Research Fellow at Yaqeen Institute and as an Instructor of Islamic Creed at Mishkah University.

Related:

Starting Shaban, Train Yourself To Head Into Ramadan Without Malice

[Podcast] Reorienting for Ramadan | Ustadh Abu Amina (Justin Parrott)

The post [Podcast] Dropping the Spiritual Baggage: Overcoming Malice Before Ramadan | Ustadh Justin Parrott appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

Far Away [Part 8] – Refugees At The Gate

Muslim Matters - 8 February, 2026 - 21:44

Darius continues his training with Lee Ayi, and the first refugees appear at the gate.

Read Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

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A Fast Learner

I had never in my life been a student of anything except the fighting arts, but now I studied medicine, math, writing, and deen all at once. I proved to be a fast learner. At times I felt as if there were a thousand different thoughts in my head, chasing each other in a mad game of tag. The only thing that gave me some trouble was the Arabic pronunciation of the words in the salat and the Quran. Haaris corrected me patiently, repeating the words until my tongue began to obey.

At night I slept without my dao, as I had promised myself I would.

On Fridays, Ma Shushu continued to leave me behind. One week he said my shoulder was not ready. Another week the road was too rough. Another time he went alone, saying the market would be crowded. The excuses grew thinner, but I did not press. For me to accuse him of lying would be impossible. I would never be able to get the words out of my mouth.

On those Fridays, after the house emptied, Lee Ayi brought out the wooden dao.

At first she asked me only to watch. Then to correct her stance. Then her footwork. Slowly, carefully, I taught her what I could. How to root her weight. How not to rush the transitions between movements. How to insert rapid, subtle strikes between the bigger movements, so that no motion was wasted.

Then we would put down the dao and spar empty-handed. My father used to go nearly full force in such sparring sessions, leaving me with black eyes, bruised ribs, and on one occasion a fractured hand. But between me and Lee Ayi the goal was to lightly kick or slap the opponent. Obviously I went easy on her, but not too easy. When she left an opening I would slap her shoulder, kick her leg, or kick her lightly in the belly. She never complained. In fact, she learned eagerly, with a seriousness that surprised me.

As we practiced, the old cat, Bao, sat on the roof of the house, sunning herself and watching us. Bao and I had come to a place of mutual respect. She was a fantastic ratter and would deposit her fat kills at the doorstep daily. She was not my friend, however, nor were any of the other animals. In fact, I had no true friends. I cared very much for Jade, Ma, and Haaris, and I was fond of the animals. But the deepest part of my heart was sealed against genuine friendship and love. I did not know why. Maybe I was in mourning.

The only moments in which I felt my heart crack open to admit sunshine and air, came during salat. In Allah, I found a friend who would not abandon me, betray me or die. He saw all that I had hidden. There was no pretense with Allah. No hypocrisy. How could there be? With Allah I could be me, and as long as I kept my faith and committed no evil, I was accepted and respected. Perhaps my understanding was flawed. Perhaps my idea of Allah was still immature. In any case, the salat brought me comfort and reassurance.

This weekly training was my secret with Lee Ayi. I enjoyed it, but I dreaded the day Ma Shushu would discover it.

After training we would sit on the edge of the wall, wash ourselves from the basin, and talk.

Thirty Three Generations

The Friday after her revelation about Jun De, I asked her about it.

“You mentioned that he drowned,” I said, “It sounded like there was foul play involved.”

She looked up sharply, startled. “What? No, nothing like that. La ilaha il-Allah. Only that Jun De’s passing leads to another subject.”

I waited, taking another scoop of cool water in my hand and splashing it on my face. I tasted my own sweat as it washed across my lips.

“Five Animals has been in the Lee family for thirty-three generations, according to my father. Maybe more. For boys, it was required. For girls, optional.”

You learned it.”

She grimaced. “Not very well, as you know. And just for fun. It fascinated me. But you see, the eldest son has always been expected to inherit Five Animals, master it and pass it on. When Jun De passed away, Allah have mercy on him, that obThe Friday after her revelation about Jun De, I asked her about it.

“You mentioned that he drowned,” I said. “It sounded like there was foul play involved.”

She looked up sharply, startled. “What? No, nothing like that. La ilaha il-Allah. Only that Jun De’s passing leads to another subject.”

I waited, taking another scoop of cool water in my hand and splashing it on my face. I tasted my own sweat as it washed across my lips.

“Five Animals has been in the Lee family for thirty-three generations, according to my father. Maybe more. For boys, it was required. For girls, optional.”

“You learned it.”

She grimaced. “Not very well, as you know. And just for fun. It fascinated me. But you see, the eldest son has always been expected to inherit Five Animals, master it, and pass it on. When Jun De passed away, Allah have mercy on him, that obligation fell to Yong. My father trained him hard, and he believed Yong was one of the best in many generations. Precise, flowing, yet brutal when it mattered. My father used to say that Yong would become one of the top martial arts masters in our province, maybe the empire.”

She put her hands on her knees and sighed.

“Sending Yong away broke my father’s heart. But he could not tolerate disrespect. Not in the house, nor in the art. There is no one else now.” She studied a line of ants dragging a dead beetle across the ground. “I am not a master, and I cannot teach Haaris anyway because Husband does not approve.”

She glanced at me briefly, then away.

“The line ends with you.”

I felt the words settle like a heavy pack loaded onto my shoulders, but before I could speak she added calmly, “I just thought you should know.”

“But I cannot train openly. You just said that Ma Shushu does not approve.”

“Yes, and I love him. He is a great man, and I would never undermine him.” Looking around, no doubt realizing the falseness of her words when we had just finished a training session, she threw up her arms. “I don’t know.” And she walked away.

What Still Exists

The next Friday we had finished our training session and were again drawing water from the well, but with the pail this time, hauling it inside to use for washing floors and hands, and for cooking. I hauled and she poured.

“Your grandmother is still alive,” Lee Ayi said.

I nearly spilled the water. “What? You said she died.”

“No, I never said that. But you’re right, your maternal grandmother is dead. Your mother’s side of the family all have poor longevity, for some reason. But I’m talking about your paternal grandmother. My mother. After my father died, she remarried. Another Hui man. A good one, or so it seems from the outside. I visit her every year at Eid ul-Adha. It’s hard to get away from the farm.”

“Where is she?”

“In a city to the north, called Deep Harbor. A half-day’s journey on horseback.” She wiped her hands on her apron. “Her husband is wealthy. She lives well and occupies herself with buying art and sponsoring artists. It’s a different kind of life.”

I swallowed. “Does she know about me?”

Lee Ayi considered this. “She knows Yong had a son. She does not know where you are.”

She carried the bucket inside and returned with it empty.

“I am not telling you this to confuse you or tear you in different directions. I am only telling you what still exists.”

Hoop and Stick

One workday afternoon, when Haaris and I had finished our work early as usual and Ma Shushu had no patients, I sat on the wall beside the front gate, watching Haaris play stick and hoop. He had a wooden hoop he had made by curving a slender bamboo shoot and binding the ends together. He would roll it along, using the stick to keep it moving.

There were many other games he liked, including games played with cards, goat’s bones, and on a wooden board with round stones. His knowledge of games seemed almost as extensive as my knowledge of martial arts. More than anything else I had experienced, learning these games made me realize how abnormal my childhood had been, for Haaris seemed to think that every child must know these games, while I knew none of them.

Well, almost none. Sometimes, when the day’s work had been heavy and he was tired, Haaris liked to set the wooden milk pail on top of a stack of firewood. Then we would sit some distance away and take turns throwing pebbles at it, trying to hit it. This was actually something I had done before to pass the time when I was bored, but I had not realized it was a game.

Anyway, that day Haaris was doing very well with the hoop, running at full speed just to keep up with it, and I was watching with a smile, when movement from the road caught my eye. I turned my head and saw a woman with a small boy. They were walking up the road, hand in hand, barefoot. Their clothing was caked with dust, and the child looked painfully thin. The woman’s head hung down. She and the boy walked right past me.

People certainly traveled this road at times. The farm laborers came on foot, and the landowners traveled on horseback or mule back. There were also sometimes tinkers, merchants and even once a small caravan, on their way to Deep Harbor, the city in the north where my paternal grandmother supposedly lived.

These two, however, looked as if they didn’t know where they were going, or why, or what they would do when they got there. They looked hungry, exhausted and on their final steps.

I called out, “Auntie, where are you going?”

The woman did not stop, but the child turned. I waved to him. He tugged on his mother’s hand but she kept walking and nearly pulled the boy off his feet.

Refugees

I leaped from the wall down onto the road and ran after them, dust rising from my shoes in little clouds. Catching up quickly, I stopped before the woman. Bowing slightly, I said, “Auntie, can you wait a moment?”

She stopped and lifted her face to mine. Her eyes were sunken. If they had been fireplaces, I would have said the fire was down to a single spark.

“We have not bothered you,” she said pleadingly. “And we are not thieves. Let us pass.”

I made a gesture with my palms for her to be calm. “I live on the farm you just passed. Why don’t you walk back to the gate and I’ll bring you water and food?”

She gazed into my eyes for a long moment, then said, “Thank you, kind sir.”

This almost made me smile, her calling me sir. Me, an uncouth, good-for-nothing kid with little schooling and no greater talent than hurting people.

Walking back to the gate I asked where she was going.

“North, that is all. We were driven from our home in the south by the invaders. We have been walking a long time.”

When we reached the gate I said, “Wait here. Do not leave.”

I ran back to the house with Haaris at my heels. “What happened?” he asked. “Where did you go?”

I found my uncle treating an elderly man with a wound on the side of his head. “Ma Shushu,” I said quietly. “Sorry to bother you. There is a woman and child at the gate. They are refugees, in bad condition. I offered food and water.”

He glanced at me, distracted. “Yes, fine. Tell your aunt to care for them.”

Provisions and News

I found Lee Ayi cutting vegetables. She set aside her work and walked quickly to the gate, with Haaris and I hustling along beside her. Taking the woman’s hand, she led the refugees to the well, where she sat them down on the edge. Under my aunt’s direction, I used a washcloth to wash the boy’s face, hands and feet, while she did the same for the mother. Haaris found an extra pair of Lee Ayi’s shoes for the woman, and an old pair of his own shoes for the boy.

By the time Asr arrived, the woman and child had eaten their fill of curried rice with eggs, shallots and garlic, and filled their water gourds. Haaris even gave the boy an old shuttlecock he’d made out of tree resin and twine. The woman and child rose to leave.

“No,” Lee Ayi said. “It will be dark in a few hours. You will sleep in the barn tonight, eat breakfast in the morning, and we will give you provisions for the road.”

The woman looked doubtful. “You… you will not lock us in?”

Lee Ayi frowned. “Of course not.” She lifted her hands helplessly. “We offer you assistance, that is all. You are free to leave if you prefer.”

The woman broke down. She fell to the ground and prostrated to Lee Ayi, weeping. The boy hugged her, confused.

“Astaghfirullah.” Lee Ayi picked the woman up and helped her stand. “Never prostrate to another human being. Only to Allah Almighty.”

“You -” The woman’s breath caught as she tried to stifle her sobs. “You are Hui?”

“Yes. We are Muslim.”

“Then we too wish to be Muslim.”

That evening the refugees ate dinner in the house with us, though the woman was clearly uncomfortable, and kept apologizing for her tattered and stained clothing. Ma Shushu led her through the shahadah, then gave her the name of the Imam in Deep Harbor.

“I must tell you something,” the woman said. Her tone until now had been grateful and timid. But now she sat up assertively. “More are coming behind me. The war is coming near. Everything south of Three Gorges is lost to the invaders. You must build your wall higher, and make your gate secure. Not all refugees are honest, and there are highwaymen on the road. People are being captured and enslaved, or simply robbed and killed. You are good people. Prepare yourselves, for trouble is at the gate.”

In the morning Lee Ayi gave them generous provisions and extra suits of clothing and they left.

Haaris and I worked mostly in silence that day. My hands twitched every now and then, seeking the comfort of the dao. I felt jumpy, and caught myself grinding my teeth.

Later I asked Lee Ayi why she had been so generous with the woman and child. “I can understand giving a stranger a bite of food  to eat,” I said. “Others have done the same with me. But you gave her so much. You don’t even know her.”

“She is my sister,” Lee Ayi said simply.

I froze. “What do you mean? I didn’t know you had a sister.” I was thinking that if that woman was truly my aunt, how could we let her go out on the road like that?

Lee Ayi smiled. “All Muslims are brothers and sisters. We are one body, one Ummah. If one of us is in pain, we are all in pain.”

This was a very strange concept to me. Revolutionary, even. I would have to think about it. I merely nodded and went on my way.

Lantern Light and Music

The Lee family surprised me that evening with something new. That evening, after the gates were secured and the animals settled, we all sat together on the floor of the main room.

The lamps were lit early. Outside, the air had grown cool, and the safflower fields were dark, the bees long gone. Inside, the lantern light softened the walls and made the low ceiling seem closer, as if the house were leaning in.

Lee Ayi brought out an instrument I had not seen before. Its body was long and narrow, the wood polished smooth by long handling. She sat cross-legged and adjusted the strings with quick, practiced turns, plucking each one and listening carefully. The sounds were low at first, almost tentative, then steadier, fuller, as if the instrument were waking.

Once, when I went looking for my father in town, I found him passed out on the floor of a saloon while a man played a crude song for coins, his voice loud and uneven, the notes slurred together with laughter and drink. I remembered the smell of alcohol, the shouting, the way the sound pressed in from all sides without shape or purpose. That was the extent of my experience with music.

This was different.

Lee Ayi touched the strings, and the sound rose cleanly from the wood, as if something living had been coaxed out of it. A piece of carved wood, a few taut strings, and her hands, and yet the room changed.

Haaris fetched a small drum and settled opposite her, tapping it once with his fingers, then again, testing the sound. He grinned at me and rolled his shoulders as if preparing for something important.

Ma Shushu cleared his throat and sat back against the wall, his legs stretched out, his hands resting loosely on his knees. When Lee Ayi began to play in earnest, he closed his eyes.

The melody was simple and familiar to them. It rose and fell without hurry. Haaris found the rhythm easily, his hands slapping the drumhead with uneven enthusiasm, sometimes early, sometimes late, but never losing the pulse entirely.

Then Ma Shushu began to sing.

The song was light, almost silly. It told the story of a man who wanted an easy way out of his troubles. Each time he thought he had found one, it led him into worse difficulty. He borrowed money and lost it. He sold his stubborn donkey and bought a horse that ran way. He found a purse in the street and was accused of theft. Each verse ended with the same amused refrain, and each time Haaris struck the drum a little louder, laughing before he could stop himself.

Lee Ayi smiled as she played, shaking her head once or twice at the foolishness of the man in the song. Ma Shushu sang without strain, his voice steady and unpretentious, more storyteller than singer.

I sat with my back against the wall, listening. The only things more lovely than this that I had heard in my life were the purring of Far Away when he slept beside me in bed, and Ma Shushu’s voice as he recited the Quran. The latter especially – Ma Shushu’s deep voice as he sang the melody of the Quran – was the single most beautiful and peaceful thing I had ever heard in my life. The music, while pleasant, was a distant second.

When the song ended, Haaris bowed dramatically, nearly tipping over.

“That is enough noise for one night,” he said. “Tomorrow comes early.”

A Trickle Becomes a Stream

As the days passed and the weather grew colder, more refugees began to appear. A trickle became a stream. Old men leaning on sticks. Women with infants bound to their chests, their faces gray with exhaustion. Families, and even small groups, all going north, fleeing the evil in the south. They moved quietly, conserving breath, as if speaking too much might cost them something they could not afford to lose.

Sometimes they called out from the gate.

“Water.”

“Food.”

“Medicine, if you have it.”

Ma Shushu never turned anyone away. He sent Haaris to fetch water, milk, cheese or bread;  or a blanket from the storage room. Once he treated a man’s infected foot at the gate, kneeling in the dust as calmly as if he were in the treatment room.

Lee Ayi, who had been so generous with that first refugee woman and child, began to express worry. The pantry was running low, and there were no more spare blankets or clothing to give away.

That evening I was returning a basket to the kitchen when I heard Lee Ayi and Ma Shushu arguing quietly. I paused without meaning to, standing just outside the doorway.

“We cannot go on like this,” Lee Ayi said. Her voice was low, controlled. “We have little left to give. Winter is coming.”

“They are desperate,” Ma Shushu replied. “They are an amanah from Allah.”

“But are they our amanah? We are not the nation, we are not the emperor or the governor or the  mayor. We are just a family with a farm and mouths to feed.”

I slipped away, troubled. The question of providing for the refugees was overshadowed the very next day, however, when a band of six rough and dangerous looking men entered the gate without permission and marched right up to the door.

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Come back next week for Part 9 – Crane Dances In The River

Reader comments and constructive criticism are important to me, so please comment!

 

See the Story Index for Wael Abdelgawad’s other stories on this website.

Wael Abdelgawad’s novels – including Pieces of a Dream, The Repeaters and Zaid Karim Private Investigator – are available in ebook and print form on his author page at Amazon.com.

Related:

Zaid Karim, Private Investigator, Part 1 – Temptation

Gravedigger: A Short Story

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