jokes

The *all new* jokes topic

published by You on 13 December, 2009 - 14:52

I am sure we had one (or more) before...

There is only one rule: make them funny.

Ok, first one:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

Credit Crunch Humour

published by Seraphim on 27 March, 2009 - 13:48

You know it's a credit crunch when...
* The cashpoint asks if you can spare any change.
* There's a 'buy one, get one free' offer - on banks.
* The Inland Revenue is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers.
* Gordon Brown has stopped chewing his nails and started sucking his thumb.
* Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than sterling.
* Highgrove has been repossessed.
* Victoria Beckham is pictured shopping in Primark.
* Alistair Darling's eyebrows have turned white.

* What's the capital of Iceland? - About £3.50
* How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.
* Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning? Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

islamic jokes

published by proud_hijabi on 16 January, 2009 - 12:57

some of jokes from a site called islamcan.com

enjoy Biggrin

Here is the story of an Imam who got up after Friday prayers and announced to the people:

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

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Jokes!

published by Naz on 11 August, 2007 - 23:27

Asalaam Walikum ppl
I’ve noticed (as many of you probably have) that its kinda dead lately on this forum so just to spice things up and add a bit of humour feel free to add your jokes. I’m pretty sure there nothing in Islam forbidding jokes (if there is i apologise and admin feel free to delete this thread. Last thing keep it clean please.

Walikum salaam

husband and wife go to see a councellor.
The counsellor says to the husband "what is you wife’s favourite flower?"
the husband replies "elephant atta!"

An Asian man gets caught stealing a packet of sugar while buying a bottle of ribena from kwik save. In court he claims “not guilty because on the back of the drink it says sugar free!”