Ocean wrote:

Isha...

Why in the friggin world are you writing all this on a public forum?

Though, you may find this lame; Therevival is somewhere where i can be myself. Where I don't have to act like I don't need anybody's help. Because I do!
People who know me think I'm a stuck up God-knows-what. That I am strong enough to handle everything on my own. Thats not true. I may act like that, but thats not true. Even I need to turn to soemone for help. And, I can't just give you half the facts; and tell you Ive done half the dance. Because thats not true. For you to understand, you need to see things how they are. yES, iT'S embarrassing. But, I'm not going to pretend to be someone Im not. I'm not going to act like my life is nothing but all blue skies, and singing birds, etc. Because its not.
...
I want help, which is why I posted it here.

Ocean wrote:

I'd die of shame if that was me but then I would never have got myself into that situation in the first place. Can't you see he's insulting you? He has HUMILIATED you! To say that he respects you and does that, Come on. and I don't blame him becaue you say something here but You're actually not what you seem... Quite frankly you brought this on your self.

Why am I so easy to blame????? I've been asking that question ever since.

Ocean wrote:

Why did you go back? It's not for your friend's sake... not at all. You went back because YOU wanted to see him, you KNEW it was going to happen!

and I wondered for nights why you weren't so keen on marriage.

I'm sorry if this hurts but this is what I see (unless all of this is a bad lie!)

It hurts,but at least you are being truthful and saying what you think. Thank you.
...
I swear, I'm that type of girl. My friends were the only reason I went. I mean, if you saw Y's parents, you would just cry your eyes out. They're the most sweetest people you would ever meet, who never would wish bad thing on anyone. And Y is doing something like so with them? They'd die of shame!
...
Again I swear! I did not know that was going to happen! He apologised!¬ He said 'sorry.' And, i really really really really thought he had meant it! Really!
I didnt know it was a lie!
"You went back because YOU wanted to see him, you KNEW it was going to happen!"
That is the most cheapest thing anyone can say!
I asked for help, If you are not willing to do so, then stop.
I hate it when people question my character. I'm as pure as can be.
...
I have never been one of those girls who was into guys. Why would I want him to do something like that?
For Gods' sake, a week left for the marriage![/quote]

Ocean wrote:

Isha, you knew this might happen so why take the risk?

Because when you care about someone you put them before yourself. If you're a good friend that's what you'd do. I'm sure anyone would do that. It just so happens it had to be me!

Ocean wrote:

You say you understood the consequences but you actually WANTED it to happen. So that you have an excuse/REASON to (I don't want to say it)
Are you even sure you have children? You don't even want to be tied in marriage well not to the man with whom you have children anyway. Living in denial or what?

For once can you be a little honest with yourself please, this is quite embarrassing to read you know and a bad case of letting the your nafs defeat you!

Wanted what to happen?
Yes, It's embarrassing, but since when isn't the truth?

Thanks for your help(!)
And please, please, please do not question my character. I'm not like that.
'He' is a guy in a million. Yes, i hated him at the start, and I hated him after that.
But, you know the reason why. You know the reason why.
Though, I learned to appreciate what I have.

You wrote:

@Isha - less forceful than the others, but remember there are things you cannot control. and others that you can.

You can tell your friends parents who they are dealing with. Ask yourself this, if he assaults your friends if/when they say no to him, will you be comfortable knowing that you could have gone above them and told others who may have been able to do something?

They probably see a sense of danger and get a thrill from being around such a person and may not be able to see all the danger. but you can. FOrget about trying to reason with them. Tell their parents and then stay away from them. No need to be apologetic as what you are doing is in their best interest.

You need to avoid this person forever.

You should report it if you can, but I can see how that would be a logistical nightmare.

Thank you!
You so get me.
...
You do understand I'm not that type, right?
All i wanted to do was help them out, I didn't know things would get this far.I really didn't. And, I didn't want this to happen, I didn't. who would?

s.b.f wrote:

Just a general question to anyone:

If someone asks you to meet them in the alleyway...how many times would you re-think that question? you're an intelligent girl. what were you thinking? especially with the knowledge that:
1. you yourself saw your friends and him coming out of one. what if people saw you?
2. he's cheating on both your friends. what made you think he wouldn't try it with you?
3. are you looking forward to your wedding next week?

And what the heck.

He sounds like a tramp.

you're not telling your fiance about this? I feel sorry for him.

PS. there is a discussion surrounding this topic, taking place on tribune. Check it out.

I know I'm really stupid! I thought he was telling the truth. I mean, look, he apologised!

1. I didn't think people would think like that. They know Im with someone.
(Thanks for that. I didn't see it from that perspective before.)
2. Exactly. I thought he's with 2 girls already. I thought he'd be beating himself thinking which one of those 2 he wanted. I wear a Hijaab, they don't. Hijaab is not just a piece of clothing, but it's a sign saying "keep away!"
I assumed guys like that, are into ...loose girls. Also, I told him I'm married where we met last time. So, I thought he'd have some respect and leave me alone.
3. I was supposed to take the flight today, but i'm going on sunday with my brothers.I cant feel the 'spark' yet.I'm waiting for it.

I will tell him, but in Pakistan. I've already had a lecture from my brothers, and Faisal's probably having it now....

zdc wrote:

WHAT THE .............................

ISHA!!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?? WHAT DID WE TELL YOU?? DID I NOT TELL YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THIS PIECE OF SH1T?? MAN, MY HEART WAS BEATING LIKE A RUNAWAY TRAIN JUST READING THIS!!

DON'T ASK FOR OUR OPINIONS IF YOU NOT GONNA TAKE IT!! WHAT, WHERE YOU LIKE BORN YESTERDAY?? ARE YOU IN GRADE 2?? I DON'T THINK GETTING MARRIED IS A GOOD IDEA FOR YOU, YOU ARE STILL WET BEHIND THE EARS. YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND LEARN HOW TO READ AND COMPREHEND.

COMMON ISHA, TRASH LIKE THAT DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ANYONE, SECOND CHANCE?? AFTER WHAT HE DID TO YOU?? YOU'RE DAMN LUCKY HE DID'NT RAPE YOU. THIS IS JUST STUPID MAN, JUST PLAIN SIMPLE STUPID. I DON'T HAVE ANY WORDS FOR THIS, SHOCKING!!!!!

PLEASE DON'T TELL US ABOUT THIS CRAP ANYMORE, YOU OBVIOUSLY ARE'NT GOING TO DO WHAT WE SAY, SO PLEASE DON'T BOTHER TELLING US. YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF HANDLING THIS, REALLY, YOU SHOULD GROW UP FIRST BEFORE YOU TRY TO SORT OUT OTHER PEOPLES PROBLEMS. YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THIS CRAP NOW YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU GONNA TELL EVERYONE.

I know!!!!!!
I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T BE ANGRY!?
But, just read my replies!
He aplogised; and I thought everyone deserves a second chance!¬
he actually bothered to get my number and apologise! I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS DOING IT FOR THE WRONG REASONS ! i swear, believe me!
I'M SORRY! I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU; and I'm really angry at myself for not. Please forgive me.

zdc wrote:

Ocean wrote:

Isha...

Why in the friggin world are you writing all this on a public forum?

I'd die of shame if that was me but then I would never have got myself into that situation in the first place. Can't you see he's insulting you? He has HUMILIATED you! To say that he respects you and does that, Come on. and I don't blame him becaue you say something here but You're actually not what you seem... Quite frankly you brought this on your self.

Why did you go back? It's not for your friend's sake... not at all. You went back because YOU wanted to see him, you KNEW it was going to happen!

and I wondered for nights why you weren't so keen on marriage.

I'm sorry if this hurts but this is what I see (unless all of this is a bad lie!)

Isha, you knew this might happen so why take the risk? You say you understood the consequences but you actually WANTED it to happen. So that you have an excuse/REASON to (I don't want to say it)

Are you even sure you have children? You don't even want to be tied in marriage well not to the man with whom you have children anyway. Living in denial or what?

For once can you be a little honest with yourself please, this is quite embarrassing to read you know and a bad case of letting the your nafs defeat you!

I really hope none of this is true.

The only truth in there, is that I'm not keen about the marriage. There's 3 different weddings! Why would i be 'keen?'