Ok, So I am friends with this girl, (let’s call her X). X is best friends with this other girl( let’s call her Y). All of us used to go to school together. I dropped out, but I’m still updated and we still meet. Everyone likes X, she has got a loveable personality, but everyone hates her friend Y. Because of Y, everyone has started hating X. Y is a very dodgy person, who is a very sly, cunning….witch. You know in movies, where there’s the bad girl, who acts all ‘nicey-nice’; but everyone knows what she’s truly like? Yeah, well that’s her.
In secondary school , she was still like that, but had a hint of decency. I knew what she was like, but when talking to me, it was like “Isha…oh yeah, Insha’Allah…masha’Allah, that’s great! Yes…we have to work to please the great deity, Allah…Islam….Al-din…Ramathaan” . Basically just throwing random Islamic-Arabic words in. Always working to please people. Her style has totally changed now. Firstly, she used to wear like a loose smock-like garment, and baggy trousers with it (Asian dress- sorry, can’t be so specific, can’t remember what it is called.) . Though, sometimes I meet her and she’s wearing coloured-contacts, heaps of foundation, fake eyelashes , tons of blusher, and tube tops and mini skirts. When talking to old friends, I here them say “god, Isha, she’s such a slapper!” or “Do you know what X and Y get up to….” Or “ Oh, she’s been seen coming out of alleyways, with her clothes…” and the worse “ Do you know Y is planning on getting her 5th abortion?” I tell them “ Rubbish! It’s all a rumour! As if Y would do that! X would never do anything like that!” I can hear/see the hint of truth in what they say, but I try to console myself (rather than them) it’s not true.. X is a really good friend of mine, and I don’t want her to get hurt of Y’s doings. I am told Y is ’linking up’ with some Feyzaal (?) But, then I ignore it, because X works at a beauty salon, and she tells me all these things about “oh, it’s Feyzaal’s mum’s salon, and he said this…he said that….” Suddenly, it clicks that this Feyzaal guy is playing a role in this thing….
Last month, I go to their uni to pick up a friend of mine and I see X, Y and Feyzaal coming out of the alleyway. Him holding Y’s jumper. And X wearing shorts and a sleeveless top. Then it sinks in to my head, the rumours were true. Even though, I knew it was true before, this incident throws me, and I am shocked! I don’t know why, because I already knew what they got up to. All these rumours continue, and I find out Y is telling her parents that she is going to X’s house, but instead she goes to meet Feyzaal. I’ve been told about Y’s parents and siblings, and I’ve been told that her oldest sister is 44!( same age as my parents!) and that evidently means that her parents are in their 60’s. It makes me so angry, because Y is driving her parents to an early grave. They think their youngest darling daughter prays five times a day, and went to do Uumra, when she actually went to Canada with her bf. I know that in Pakistani families, the daughter plays an important role as izzah or whatever . Ok, she doesn’t care about her honour, but what about her parents? Why is she deceiving them? Especially in this age?! Ok, I have absolutely no right whatsoever to butt into her life, but should I do something about it? Should I speak to X (whom I thought was a decent girl, but turned out to be a total….2-faced nitwit. )?
Should I confront X>? I’ve lost all respect I had for X. Do I do anything about it? Do I let Y kill her chances of having a child? Of course, right now she doesn’t want it, but in the future, she’ll regret it so much! I should do something, but what? Funnily enough (with my own problems), girls come to me when they need religious advice . I know X respects me a lot, and I know that even though Y sees no-one above herself, I know she respects me. Should I take advantage of the fact? Should I say something? Plus, X is a very good friend of mine, who Or do I leave things like so? Yes, I know I don’t want to intervene in her life affairs or issues. But, what about her parents? What about her? She’s ruining her life because of a ’him’. And, I don’t think I’m going to let her. And, I’m pretty sure this is not so-called love (!)If it was, I’m sure he wouldn’t be entertaining X. I wish that was a lie as well. But, I’ve seen the 2 with my own eyes.
...
You’re wise people. Tell me. Do I say anything, or do I try stopping them? Do I stop her? Or do I be a bystander? I really honestly, don’t mean to intercede into her personal life, but I have to before it’s too late.
I know, me, myself, I want to confront the 2; but is it the right thing to do? Most of the time, I follow my feelings rather than logic.
And, Thank you for Reading.
As a friend you should say something.
It does not have to be preaching, but just a talk about what their values are and find out what they think.
You need to mention how being around them when they get around to stuff you do not approve of makes you uncomfortable.
Also tell them that their actions do have consequences and that their secrecy is not all that secret - there are rumours about and they will have consequences etc.
You cannot control the actions of others, but you can talk to them, try to find out why they are the way they are and maybe then even evaluate your own friendship with them - if they are unrecogniseable to you compared to what they were, are they even the same people any longer? you have to protect yourself too.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
No, forget about me at the moment.
I'm worried about them, and their parents.
Well, mostly about their parents. God protect them. It's like WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!
...
So you think I should speak to them? And, let them know their secret is not a secret anymore>?
...
It's just so disgusting! Yalah!
I'm afraid I might get angry, and just slap her across the face. The slap would be for her parents , not for me.
Beleieve me, I've done that before and it resulted to us not talking. No good came out of it!
I just can't control myself. I wish I could, but the lies and disgust just build up.
Love is a serious mental disease.
It's not about me. It's about them and their parents. We only get one life. They should should show gratitude to their creator, rather than following Satan. Is this how they show gratittude to Al-Malik?
Yes, but if i say that, they're going to be like "who started the rumours?"
then, i'll be like "Oh, that doesn't matter, the fact is that you get upto this bull."
and then they will be like" Ish, we thought you were our friend?" and all the manipulative BS.
Love is a serious mental disease.
you need to make it about you. its where your strengths lie.
and if they become all manipulative, you just need to put an end to it "you go your way, I go mine. I cannot accept such actions and I do not care for your justifications."
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
omg¬! Are you calling me vain?
Love is a serious mental disease.
no. but if it helps you accomplish your goal in being able to talk to your friends, why not use it as a tool?
and yes, who you decide to associate with is your choice - "you are no longer the person I recognise" is a perfectly valid thing to say.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
alright, cheers.
Love is a serious mental disease.
(im gonna try and be gangsta)
What a skank... ¬_¬
Tell dem ho hos they trippin yo. Thats wack. They like gone outta control. Their reps like in the gutter, their parents shud be running for cover, someones gonna suffer.
Chris Brown that skank and tell'em you their dirty lil secret. Get both sides of the story innit. But make it clear you think its wack yo. Talk some shame into their a$$es, for their parents sake. Threaten to tell her parents if you want. Or the cops if theyre underage to be bumpin & grinding.
Whats this Feyzaal perp like?? Maybe someone should smack the shit outta him too... with a two by four you know wat im sayin.
But if they all like 'Isha you supposed to be my friend' then ditch them. You dont need friends like that. They're not good friends for you. Coz your their mate ppl gonna assume your exactly like them. Next thing you know, you might start getting a bad rep too.
Peace out.
Considering the below hadith I think you should talk to them, or slap them like you have done before, so you're experienced.
Don't worry, I am right here in your corner, totally annihilate them, Common!!
Isha! Isha! Isha, Isha!
Upper cut, right jab, left jab, THATS IT!!
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!! TKO..............................................
The Winner is IIIISSSSSSSSHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Whoever amongst you sees an evil, he must change it with his hand; if he is unable to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is unable to do so, then with his heart; and that is the weakest form of Faith".
[Muslim].
Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me.
-Imam Al-Ghazali
omw, that took me like a half hour to read (and understand)!
By the way, is this Seraphim?( I'm sot sure?)
No, Blackmail is the last resort, I would go to!
...
Feyzaal, Yep, I met him today. Total ...twerp! Total charmer; No wonder, those idiots were falling for him....
Err,Hmmm, I think people already think I'm like that....
...
People, this is not about me! It's about them!
Love is a serious mental disease.
Ok.
I talked to them today. One-to-one.
All 3 of them separately.
I can say, something was totally fishy!
X said "we're just friends" (If you say so)
Y said "Oh, I don't know any feyzaal" (Yeah, right(!)
Feyzaal said "Nah, man. It isnt serious. 'they beg it' " ( If that even makes sense)
Love is a serious mental disease.
LOL what does "that's whack" mean? :/
o dear.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
UPDATED:
Somehow I plucked up the courage; to go to the university. I went and waited outside for X/Y. At the corner of my eye, I see someone moving, I take no notice, could be anyone. The person gets closer and closer, until there’s 2 metres difference between us. And, I’m someone who likes my personal space. So, I look left and there is Feyzaal and his clones. I hold his glance, as in a “what “ way. Then I realise “bummer! He’s looking at me!” I hate creeps like that. Like, really hate. I try to ignore him, and try to smile and then have a brainwave! I can interview Feyzaal before X/Y, so I don’t get so wrapped up in their lies.
So, I start off “Hey. Do I know you?“ “No. But I know you” ok(!), I think. This is clearly an idiot;
“you’re Y’s boy friend, aren’t you?”
“yeah, yeah” says he.
“really? I got mixed up, I saw you with X last time” i challenge him.
“Hahahahahaha. Yeah, X I mean” (I’m pretty sure that was a nervous chuckle.)
I get abit narked at the comments he’s making; just totally irrelevant . So, I just blurt it out “Dude, I’m married!“ Shameless git says “don’t worry. I can settle.” His idiots and he are creating a scene, so I say (like the mature person I am) “Can we talk?” He agrees. Though, Masha’Allah, where did Allah give me the courage and patience
to say this, but I say “In the Alleyway.” His eyebrows rise up. Then I realise what it sounds like; as the alleyway is a myth ; for being a place of 'entertainment.' He says “ I’ve already got two girls for that, But I don’t mind taking another one.” I raise an eyebrow and say “Just walk.” We talk, I come out with the concerns. Hoping that he will have a tinge of decency to back off a bit. Instead he gets lippy. I lose my patience and grab his arm ( I know I had no right to) and impulsively say “Listen stop your BS. I know you’re cheating on both of my friends. I recommend you stop that” I did try explaining nicely, but it didn’t seem to be working. He says “No. no. Before I was cheating on one of them, now I’ll cheat on both,” eurghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!£!””£$&^”£%$>&78;9[’89p;[3#’4;1[2]31!”!”£”£$!”£ He leans forward and pierces my neck with his teeth. I’m too stunned to do anything. Next comes the Isha signature move. I slap him and can’t help but scream so loud! You’ll probably be thinking I’m quite absurd; but I felt so eurgh!!!!! Dirty, you wouldn’t understand. La yamknk fahhm! Vous ne comprenez pas! I tried my best to do whatever it takes. Even talk to that animal! Even after so, he had the nerve to ask for my number ‘to apologise’?!”£?&)_*R!¬!%LI:’
Eaurghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?”!?$^%^&1!!”£“£$%^*(_”£%^[ aND, NOW i'VE GOT A GREAT BIG UGLY THING ON MY NECK!?"?!?!"?
Imagine if 'he' asks>? Fiance?
Love is a serious mental disease.
!!!!!!!!
:shock:
That's disgusting!!! Why do they not have any shame?!!
Stay away from [such] boys from now on.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Now you just tell both your friends that.
and maybe their parents? (I never like this option because its grassing them up...)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
i think you should show them what he did.
oh fiancee...could you..tell him all and let him beat the *** out of that dude..??
(look at the french outburst, je comprends parfaitement ma chere...)
OMG SERAPHIM! i dont know how to react...but..that trip to london...hmm... :doubt:
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
selamz sister, a word of advice if your calling your self her friend but as your unsure of what to do and seek advice, then maybe take from this " a true friend is one who tells you your faults"
Talk some sense into the girls nicely like a friend I'm sure even if they don't listen they will atleast feel some sham, agree with sephy the guy shud get battered just enough he gets what he's doing is wrong, perhaps some the religious boys in Uni will smack some sense into the dude.
Ok. I'll deal with them today, Insha'Allah.
...
Of course not. Why would I tell him?????He's the last resort.
Maybe I should get my brothers to help me out?
...
No, I've offered to get my hands dirty by helping them out. They're 19 and 20.
No, the girls are of British Pakistanis. So maybe it's permissable in their culture? But, I've got a feeling it isn't....:S
Love is a serious mental disease.
PIERCES YOUR KNECK WITH HIS TEETH???? I think I'm gonna turn GRRRREEN!!
He should thank allah you're not MY fiance, that would be the LAST thing he would be piercing his teeth into, cos the doctors will be pulling them out from his rear with a tweazer. Well! atleast whatever is left of him that is.
Ish I suggest you stay away from this whole mess, it's not worth it, I would hate to see you get hurt. Tell these girls once, just once and then step away, after that it's not your problem. Your duty is only to make them aware, after that they have their own brains.
Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me.
-Imam Al-Ghazali
you shouldn't have gone to see him, not on your own any way.
I cant repeat wat i said wen i read dat.
Someone pass me my baseball bat -.- ... its the one that says 'BAD A$$ MOFO' on it!! Ima go all medieval on hm n shov a dog up hs a$$ and some bacon dwn hs throat... let the two meet in the middle!!
Girl, watchu thnkn talkn to that perp on ur own? He sounds like a 1st class Slimeball yo! Who deserves to get hs a$$ removd! Jst thnkng abot it P*SSES ME OFF! Guys like that dont get wat shame is or give a sh*t abot da girl. And its f*kd up hw girls keep fallin for these a$$holes. He dnt giv a sh*t abot them or u, they jst meat to hm... thngs to play wit. And it sure as hell aint in anyones culture to do that yo!!
Like zdc said, speak to dem hos once and once only. Tell'em wats wat. Tell'em, wat dat perp did. And if dey still wackd outta der minds, den to hell wit them. It jst soo aint worth your time n hassle, u knw wat im sayin.
Yeah dis is Seraphim.
I know!
But, I didn't go to see him, I went to see X an Y.
Though, I shouldn't have suggested the aleyway, I just thought his friends won't be present in the alleyway. I thought, he's only 'acting' macho infront of his friends. i thoughthe would have some decency!
Love is a serious mental disease.
My thoughts exactly.
Love is a serious mental disease.
Noooooooooooooo, I'm not a grass!
Love is a serious mental disease.
Yes,sometimes, I mutter in different languages to other people can't understand...(got to get rid of that habit!
Love is a serious mental disease.
Yes, I agree; which is why i am, bothering to get into this mess.
Love is a serious mental disease.
Well ur a better person than me. I wudnt get myself involvd as much as you have.
I doubt it.
...
I'm doing everything with good intentions. I'm just worried, they may think I'm intervening.(I hope not though.)
Love is a serious mental disease.
internventions are not always bad.
and grassing can be good too - but it could very well ruin your friendships because people may see the root of all problems will not be them acting like they are but you taking actions around it.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
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