Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!

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"Constantine" wrote:
lol good timing - the game is on.

GO PATS!

PATS?

"angel" wrote:
"Constantine" wrote:
lol good timing - the game is on.

GO PATS!

PATS?

THE PATRIOTS!!!

...My God the rest of the world is uncivilized.

The New England 3 time Superbowl Champion football team!

They are playing the Steelers right now.

Good game so far.

How can you people like Rugby more?!

This is human Chess

It is ... Time out!

:twisted:

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

This is Bill Belichek

[img]

He's the evil genius - I mean coach - of the Patriots

This is him when he is losing a game:

[img]

This is him when he's winning:

[img]

This is him after he's won
[img]

And this is him after winning the Superbowl:

[img]

Erwin Rommel wished he was that cool under pressure.

Yes ma'am - this guy is big time.

Here is a BBC article about him

"Constantine" wrote:
"angel" wrote:
"Constantine" wrote:
lol good timing - the game is on.

GO PATS!

PATS?

THE PATRIOTS!!!

...My God the rest of the world is uncivilized.

The New England 3 time Superbowl Champion football team!

They are playing the Steelers right now.

Good game so far.

How can you people like Rugby more?!

This is human Chess

I like neither rugby nor american footy, its confusin....actually come to think of it i dont like many sports.

"angel" wrote:
I like neither rugby nor american footy, its confusin....actually come to think of it i dont like many sports.

sigh......

Is there something you [i]do[/i] like?!

if its football, where does the foot come in?

time out!

getting back in....

Call it wussy throwball or summat. Even call it sawker. Time out!

Time Out!

Time Out!

Leave the name football for football.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"Admin" wrote:
if its football, where does the foot come in?

Call it wussy throwball or summat. Even call it sawker.

Leave the name football for football.

well i shall call it FOOTY, u got a problem loner, if so what u gona do?????

Dave i like myself

"Admin" wrote:
if its football, where does the foot come in?

time out!

getting back in....

Call it wussy throwball or summat. Even call it sawker. Time out!

Time Out!

Time Out!

Leave the name football for football.

you kick the ball at the start.

Actually association football and rugby football were the same prior to the 1870s - Oxford University actually sorted the mess out by creating stringent rules and seperating the two.

Rugby football morphed into American Football - whilst association football morphed into soccer (an old abreviation) or "football" as you call it.

American football is way better than rugby - rugby is just running around trying to knock the intestines out of the other guy - we've got that in US football, except we actually employ strategy.

Human Chess.

with all that padding?

aint yu lot man enough to take a beating?

And where is the strategy in taking out the ones that do not have the ball? What did those poor fellows do to you?

Thinking about it... is the military big on Afooty? they employ the same tactics!

:twisted:

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

JUST FOR YOU DAVE (let me know how many of these statements below are true.)

Only in America
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. (This was popular when Clinton was in office)

"angel" wrote:
JUST FOR YOU DAVE (let me know how many of these statements below are true.)

Only in America
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. (This was popular when Clinton was in office)

Alrighty:

1. Depends how far you live from the hospital or pizza shop
2. lol true
3. also true
4. hahaha very true
5. lol definitely true
6. Dunno anybody that does that
7. but I definitely do that
8. That is so irritating!
9. lol yea
10. wow... I think that's actually true
11. Unfortunate but true, damn liberals

"Admin" wrote:
with all that padding?

aint yu lot man enough to take a beating?

And where is the strategy in taking out the ones that do not have the ball? What did those poor fellows do to you?

Thinking about it... is the military big on Afooty? they employ the same tactics!

:twisted:

lol actually people have been killed playing football - and i've never seen a player jump over another player and kick him in the face in rugby or soccer.

You don't take out the ones that do not have the ball - that wouldn't make any sense at all...

So you are not supposed to take out any potential tacklers? is that just for the mooveez?

and what's with the whole time out thing?

Does it not ruin the flow?

I saw a live basketball game once. BBC put it on. after about an hour they had pnly played 10-15 mins! (it was the michael jordan comeback game. He was way past it...)

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"Admin" wrote:
So you are not supposed to take out any potential tacklers? is that just for the mooveez?

and what's with the whole time out thing?

Does it not ruin the flow?

I saw a live basketball game once. BBC put it on. after about an hour they had pnly played 10-15 mins! (it was the michael jordan comeback game. He was way past it...)

lol what?

Well if somebody is trying to tackle your player you are supposed to block/stop them almost any way you can... but that's because if you don't they will tackle your player.

The timing is pretty simple - it's like civilization 3, it's turn based - you start off by creating a strategy for the next play, then you come out of the huddle and set up, the quarterback starts the play and it does not end until the ball is stopped - this means either a touchdown is scored, the player with the ball is tackled or the player with the ball goes out of bounds - or the ball simply does not reach its intended target (thats call an incomplete pass)

On top of that each team may call a "time out" they have 3 each - all this does is freezes the clock while they go to a more extensive huddle.

It doesn't ruin the flow at all - it is actually a tactical thing and is part of the psychological effect and strategy of the game. The idea is to beat your opponent mentally (like in chess) through movement and strategy - not just ram the ball down their throat with superior force.

Never really got in to basketball... dunno why I was really good at it in school and everybody plays it.

I've played civ3. Loads of strategy, but I gave up after a few weeks (months?) when I could not see any end in sight...

It is sloooooooow.

So there is actually soe logic to the madness called american footy...

Still not my cuppa.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"Admin" wrote:
I've played civ3. Loads of strategy, but I gave up after a few weeks (months?) when I could not see any end in sight...

It is sloooooooow.

So there is actually soe logic to the madness called american footy...

Still not my cuppa.

lol if there weren't an evil genius - i mean coach - like belichek wouldn't be involved.

How can you not like civ3?!

Thats the most strategitastic game (aside from Rome: Total War) in the universe.

Aside from Rome: Total War

Which is brilliant.

It was probably developed by God.

Which explains the perfection.

would love to play rome, but my c is no where near upto it.

So I am currently trying to make excuses to let myself replace this peice of junk I have atm.

Civ3; I liked it, but it leaves no time for anything else. No time to wor. No time for play. No time to eat. No time to sleep....

So I have decided to leave it til the time I become unemployed....

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

lol if you ever get a workable computer Rome TW, Medal of Honor Allied Assault, and Battlefield 1942 should definitely be at the top of your list of games.

George Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, "I sure would like to go to Disneyland." George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One."

The second kid said, "I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"

The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are injured." The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"

"Make thirsty me, O friend, give me no water!
Let me so love that sleep flees from my door!"
Yes, sleep flees, if he sees the burning eyelids,
He would be drowned if he would cross the sea
of tears; he would be poisoned
if he should dare to drink
That potent wine which you
Poured in the gobler of my eyes:
Those eyes which once beheld your radians face
And try to mirror it on every tear...
...Those eyes which are a veil.

Make me more thirsty, friend, give me no water-
My thirst is proof that you are thirsty, too...

By Annemarie Schimmel

THROUGH LOVE all that is bitter will be sweet.
Through Love all that is copper will be gold.
Through Love all dregs will turn to purest wine.
Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.
Through Love the king will turn into a slave!

Here are some tips for Dave and anyone else workong on a piece of assessed work.

[b]How to write a paper in college/university:[/b]

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.

13. Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your email.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

23. Check out bored.com.

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

hahahaha ohhh man

so true

so tragically true

been there, done that.

Have you noticed you do less work when you pull an 'allnighter', then if you quickly do some work before going to bed?

At uni, hardtalk (BBC1 showing BBC News 24) at 4:30am was a must.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"Amber" wrote:
"Make thirsty me, O friend, give me no water!
Let me so love that sleep flees from my door!"
Yes, sleep flees, if he sees the burning eyelids,
He would be drowned if he would cross the sea
of tears; he would be poisoned
if he should dare to drink
That potent wine which you
Poured in the gobler of my eyes:
Those eyes which once beheld your radians face
And try to mirror it on every tear...
...Those eyes which are a veil.

Make me more thirsty, friend, give me no water-
My thirst is proof that you are thirsty, too...

By Annemarie Schimmel

That is beautiful!! Who is Annemarie? where did u get the poem from? very hard-hitting!

[b]DELETED.[/b]

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

Aaj wo kashmir hai mahkoom o majboor o faqeer,
kal jissey ahle nazar kehta the , iran e sagheer.

Today that Kashmir is ruled, and despereate and destitute,
Which yesterday the people of insight called mini iran.

(Allamah Iqbal)

Make dua for my kashmir. Make dua for my Kashmir. Make dua for my kashmir.

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

[b] Barbie and the Muslim Doll [/b]

Said the Barbie doll to the Muslim doll,
Welcome to the U.S.A
The land of the free and the brave
Have some fun

Said the Muslim doll to the Barbie doll
Tell me what you mean by
The free, the brave and fun

Said the Barbie doll to the Muslim doll
For us, the free means
Freedom from clothes, God and men
To be free to choose your life style
And your mate, male or female
Brave means to experiment with
drugs, alcohol and sex
Fun means dating, dancing and drinking
Whatever makes you happy

Said the Muslim doll to the Barbie doll
For us, the free means
To think freely
To speak freely
And to worship God freely
For us, the brave means
The one who
fights temptation, lust and hate

Are you brave?
For us, the fun means
To enjoy life with friends, family and the nature
Not just with Ken

Said the Barbie doll to the Muslim doll
These are all good values
You will soon forget as you live
You will melt down as you live
You will become one of us
You will have your Ken

Said the Muslim doll to the Barbie doll
"We do not worship whom you worship
Nor you will worship whom we worship
To you is your way of life
To us is our way of life

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

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