Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!

This thread is for jokes, poems or any inspirational stories (hint hint muslim kuri!)... so here goes......

Generous lawyer

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Where do dreams come from?
Poem
by Jeanie L. Robinson

Why does the wind whisper through the hollow trees,
where no one wanders, looks, or sees.
How can it be that it is make believe,
or a fairy tale under lock and key?

In this place a star will shine,
and is smaller than a ball of twine.
With crystal spectrums through a glass,
or is calmer than a rambunctious class.

When discoveries do take place,
finding them will take no hace.
When in doubt you do find out,
where this place is don't shout it out.

From the back of children's audacious minds,
where ideas and pretending make a chime.
For this is much very much more,
than behind your own secret door.

Back in BLACK

ALLAH knows what is best for us
So why should we complain
We always want the sunshine
But He knows there must be rain.

We always want laughter
and the merriment of cheer
but our heart will lose
their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.

ALLAH tests us often
with suffering and sorrow
He tests us not to punish us
but to help us meet tomorrow.

For growing trees are strengthened
if they can withstand the storm
and the sharpness of the chisel
gave the marble its grace and form.

ALLAH tests us often
and for every pain
He gives us
provided we are patient
Is followed by rich gain
So whenever we feel that
everything is going wrong
It is just ALLAH'S way to make our spirit strong

p.s. EXCELLANT THREAD ANGEL BiggrinWink

[b]God Send Me An Angel[/b]
By Amanda Perez

It's been 5 months since you went away
Left without a word, nothing to say
And I was the one who gave you my heart and soul
But it wasn't good enough for you
So I asked God

God send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love
Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes

And I know that it might sound crazy,
but after all that I still love you
You wanna come back in my life,
but now there's something that I have to do
I have to tell the one that I once adored that they can't have my love no more
My heart can't take no more lies and my eyes are all out of cries

So God send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love
Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes

Now you had me on my knees, begging God please, to send you back to me
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and you made me feel like i could not breathe
when all I wanted to do was feel your touch, and to give you all of my love
Took my love for granted want my loving now, but you can't have it o god

Send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love
Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes

Back in BLACK

"Seraph" wrote:
[b]God Send Me An Angel[/b]
By Amanda Perez

It's been 5 months since you went away
Left without a word, nothing to say
And I was the one who gave you my heart and soul
But it wasn't good enough for you
So I asked God

God send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love
Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes

And I know that it might sound crazy,
but after all that I still love you
You wanna come back in my life,
but now there's something that I have to do
I have to tell the one that I once adored that they can't have my love no more
My heart can't take no more lies and my eyes are all out of cries

So God send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love
Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes

Now you had me on my knees, begging God please, to send you back to me
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and you made me feel like i could not breathe
when all I wanted to do was feel your touch, and to give you all of my love
Took my love for granted want my loving now, but you can't have it o god

Send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love
Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes

aww thank you seraph, a poem all bout me Wink

"angel" wrote:
aww thank you seraph, a poem all bout me Wink

lol i knew this might happen.:lol:

Dont flatter yourself, it was for angels in general. Dirol

Back in BLACK

"Seraph" wrote:
"angel" wrote:
aww thank you seraph, a poem all bout me Wink

lol i knew this might happen.:lol:

Dont flatter yourself, it was for angels in general. Dirol

I wasn't gona say anything at first but couldn't help it.

"angel" wrote:
Just saw this on the maniac site, that guy is a nutter but must say he does come up with some funny things, check this out, my fav part scroll down to 5- web cam!

LOL this site is hilarious!! Biggrin

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

"Aasiyah" wrote:
"angel" wrote:
Just saw this on the maniac site, that guy is a nutter but must say he does come up with some funny things, check this out, my fav part scroll down to 5- web cam!

LOL this site is hilarious!! Biggrin

yeh it sure is...if you want a laugh or need cheering up then check it out! Biggrin

Osama & Little David

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

David's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," David says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock.
"Well, David says, I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride.

"David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him."

"Seraph" wrote:

Dude thats not funny.

Seraph the "dude" is a she!!

neway.....

Brag about parents

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.

"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"

"Yes," said the Navy brat.

"My dad has built them."

Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"

"Yes."

"It's my dad who's killed it!"

"angel" wrote:
"Seraph" wrote:

Dude thats not funny.

Seraph the "dude" is a she!!

I know lol Lol

just thought be going a lil far if i refered to her as a dude-et.

Besides im sure she knows its all good fun. Wink

Back in BLACK

"Seraph" wrote:

I know lol Lol

just thought be going a lil far if i refered to her as a dude-et.

Besides im sure she knows its all good fun. Wink

you just messin bout cuz i just realised the dude is a dude, for some odd reason i thot chm1 was mariam frm the old forums...but chm1 is a male see the "no topic"..

wat the ****?? :shock:

Do i really come across a girl?

"chm1" wrote:
wat the ****?? :shock:

Do i really come across a girl?

no no (the beard confirmed it lol) its just i think your user name is very similiar to the one sis mariam uses, thats why i got confused duno why seraph did!

Maybe you all are just a confused bunch.

Did you not read my comments in the birth order thread?

I went on and on about how I'm the only boy in a family of girls.

I got scared that their femininity rubbed off on me making me seem like a batty boy.

"chm1" wrote:
Maybe you all are just a confused bunch.

Did you not read my comments in the birth order thread?

I went on and on about how I'm the only boy in a family of girls.

I got scared that their femininity rubbed off on me making me seem like a batty boy.

helllooo your missin the point here, i aint confused and i dont think seraph is either (actually seraph mite be) but what i said was i got your user name mixed up with mariam's! does that make sense?

yeh i remeber you tellin us bout you been the only boy and not being batty cuz you hung bout with your male cousins and male friends at a young age..

"angel" wrote:
"chm1" wrote:
Maybe you all are just a confused bunch.

Did you not read my comments in the birth order thread?

I went on and on about how I'm the only boy in a family of girls.

I got scared that their femininity rubbed off on me making me seem like a batty boy.

helllooo your missin the point here, i aint confused and i dont think seraph is either (actually seraph mite be) but what i said was i got your user name mixed up with mariam's! does that make sense?

yeh i remeber you tellin us bout you been the only boy and not being batty cuz you hung bout with your male cousins and male friends at a young age..

I only confused it bcoz you said he was a she... i was all fine thinkn he was a boy than a girl. :evil:

I blame you.

Back in BLACK

"Seraph" wrote:
"angel" wrote:
"chm1" wrote:
Maybe you all are just a confused bunch.

Did you not read my comments in the birth order thread?

I went on and on about how I'm the only boy in a family of girls.

I got scared that their femininity rubbed off on me making me seem like a batty boy.

helllooo your missin the point here, i aint confused and i dont think seraph is either (actually seraph mite be) but what i said was i got your user name mixed up with mariam's! does that make sense?

yeh i remeber you tellin us bout you been the only boy and not being batty cuz you hung bout with your male cousins and male friends at a young age..

I only confused it bcoz you said he was a she... i was all fine thinkn he was a boy than a girl. :evil:

I blame you.

lolzzz...chill ppl....classic example of pure misunderstanding! Biggrin

"Seraph" wrote:

I only confused it bcoz you said he was a she... i was all fine thinkn he was a boy than a girl. :evil:

I blame you.

Just cuz i was a lil confused didnt stop you frm thinkin did it? blame me!!? excuse me, your the one who was 100% sure he was a she when u were tempted to call him a dudete but felt that was goin to far...

What does your name mean? check it out...

Instructions : What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.

Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU.

PS : If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once

A= You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

B= You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople.

C= You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.

D= You have trouble trusting people.

E =You are a very exciting person.

F= Everyone loves you.

G= You have excellent ways of viewing people.

H=You are not judgmental.

I =You are always smiling and making others smile.

J =Jealously

K =You like to try new things.

L= Love is something you deeply believe in.

M= Success comes easily to you.

N= You like to work, but you always want a break.

O= You are very open-minded.

P =You are very friendly and understanding.

Q = You are a hypocrite.

R=You are a social butterfly.

S= You are very broad-minded.

T= You have an attitude, a big one.

U= You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.

V= You have a very good physique and looks.

W= You like your privacy.

X= You never let people tell you what to do.

Y= You cause a lot of trouble.

Z= You're always fighting with someone.

What a load of rubbish.

I = No
R = No
F = No
A = Maybe
N = I suppose

"irfan" wrote:
What a load of rubbish.

I = No
R = No
F = No
A = Maybe
N = I suppose

You dont like to make others smile?
Dont you feel everyone loves you? (to me everyone is my close family and friends, so i would say yes to that)

your right its a load of rubbish but some of it did go with my personality..

"angel" wrote:

You dont like to make others smile?

They can smile if they want. But I don't always make people smile. Usually they either laugh or pity.

"angel" wrote:

Dont you feel everyone loves you? (to me everyone is my close family and friends, so i would say yes to that)

I wouldn't go as far as to say 'love'.

"irfan" wrote:
"angel" wrote:

You dont like to make others smile?

They can smile if they want. But I don't always make people smile. Usually they either laugh or pity.

"angel" wrote:

Dont you feel everyone loves you? (to me everyone is my close family and friends, so i would say yes to that)

I wouldn't go as far as to say 'love'.

aww i feel sorry for you, parents regardless of anythin love you, yes love you!

"angel" wrote:

aww i feel sorry for you, parents regardless of anythin love you, yes love you!

That's still not everyone.

"irfan" wrote:
"angel" wrote:

aww i feel sorry for you, parents regardless of anythin love you, yes love you!

That's still not everyone.

well depends how u define "everyone" but why would u want literally everyone to love you? to much hassle and to many ppl to please!

"angel" wrote:

well depends how u define "everyone" but why would u want literally everyone to love you? to much hassle and to many ppl to please!

If everyone loved you they would do everything for no matter what you did for them. But I wouldn't want evryone to love me, of course.

Family love goes without saying, but 'everyone' would include people outside family and friends.

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