Why do some parents or grandparents favour boys over girls?

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"nAS786" wrote:
.e.g. muslim girls should not go out alone at night due to obvious dangers, however guys can go out at night as we can handle ourselves

A boy and girl shouldnt unnecessarily roam the street alone late at night..

My 18year old brother has the same restrictions as his sisters.

"MuslimSister" wrote:
"nAS786" wrote:
.e.g. muslim girls should not go out alone at night due to obvious dangers, however guys can go out at night as we can handle ourselves

A boy and girl shouldnt unnecessarily roam the street alone late at night..

My 18year old brother has the same restrictions as his sisters.

i hope his ok with that , personally i dont think guys need sheltering not as much as girls anyway

'Sheltering', to me, generally means keeping someone from finding out about the bad things in the world. I think it would be fair to say that both girls and boys need equal amounts of sheltering.

It's no good sending your son out into the big bad world to discover for himslef the injustices and tribulations of the world but keeping your daughter at home sheltered in a cacoon of sweetness and tranquility.

Guys don't need sheltering.

All they will do is minor things such as clubbing, drinking, fornicating and drug taking.

Girls need the sheltering.

As if they were not sheltered All they will do is minor things such as clubbing, drinking, fornicating and drug taking.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"Beast" wrote:
'Sheltering', to me, generally means keeping someone from finding out about the bad things in the world. I think it would be fair to say that both girls and boys need equal amounts of sheltering.

It's no good sending your son out into the big bad world to discover for himslef the injustices and tribulations of the world but keeping your daughter at home sheltered in a cacoon of sweetness and tranquility.

i see your point but i still dont think boys and girls require eqaul sheltering, ok girls and boys both should get the same rights such as university,jobs etc, but girls require more protection than boys, it is a big bad world out there and i would not want my sister/nieces to experience it, but boys i think anything that doesnt kill them makes them stronger, btw i can name an example of someone who is sheltered that we both know (name is 4 letters long and starts with a and ends with d). being sheltered hasnt done him any good Lol

Noone needs 'sheltering'.

Both need guidance. in diferent ways, but equal in ammount.

everyone should be made to experience the unequalities of life. Otherwise when they are thrown in the deep end, they will suffer.

At the same time behaviour needs to be moderated by the parents. make sure they do not stay out too late and be proactive about good company.

(three years down the line shouting about bad friends is not good enough.)

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

I think we can agree that girls need more [i]physical [/i]protection.

But does that mean that they should also be given [i]thought[/i] protection?

It is a big bad world. Should girls be prevented from appreciating just how bad it is just because they are girls? I think not.

Re: A___d, I'm dissappointed in you. :?

[quote="Beast" wrote:
I think we can agree that girls need more [i]physical [/i]protection.
- true

Quote:
But does that mean that they should also be given [i]thought[/i] protection?

i do not know what thought protection is or how to give someone thought protection :?

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It is a big bad world. Should girls be prevented from appreciating just how bad it is just because they are girls?
I think not. - i think so , it would be bad if my son/brother/nephew had to get into a fight or suffered racism but personally i think this would be 10 times as bad if it happened to my sister/daughter/niece - sorry maybe im just overprotective :?

[quote]Re: A___d, I'm dissappointed in you. :? - :roll: :roll: :roll:

You are overprotective :twisted:

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"MuslimSister" wrote:
"nAS786" wrote:
.e.g. muslim girls should not go out alone at night due to obvious dangers, however guys can go out at night as we can handle ourselves

A boy and girl shouldnt unnecessarily roam the street alone late at night..

My 18year old brother has the same restrictions as his sisters.

exactly - nas, neither my sons OR daughters will be allowed out after maghrib unnecessarily, because thats what the Prophet (s.a.w) taught us. people should finish whatever business they have outside prior to maghrib and should only go out if its important.

"Beast" wrote:
'Sheltering', to me, generally means keeping someone from finding out about the bad things in the world. I think it would be fair to say that both girls and boys need equal amounts of sheltering.
again, well said. if parents feel the need to 'shelter' their children from the big bad world, they should do so equally and not discriminate. protection is another matter, and Islam already has provisions for this - girls should not travel beyond a certain distance without a mahrem, they should cover themselves modestly, all these laws are for our protection - if a girl is abiding by these laws of Allah, why should parents feel the need to protect her further, when she has secured the protection of Allah?

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

"*DUST*" wrote:
"MuslimSister" wrote:
"nAS786" wrote:
.e.g. muslim girls should not go out alone at night due to obvious dangers, however guys can go out at night as we can handle ourselves

A boy and girl shouldnt unnecessarily roam the street alone late at night..

My 18year old brother has the same restrictions as his sisters.

exactly - nas, neither my sons OR daughters will be allowed out after maghrib unnecessarily, because thats what the Prophet (s.a.w) taught us. people should finish whatever business they have outside prior to maghrib and should only go out if its important.

"Beast" wrote:
'Sheltering', to me, generally means keeping someone from finding out about the bad things in the world. I think it would be fair to say that both girls and boys need equal amounts of sheltering.
again, well said. if parents feel the need to 'shelter' their children from the big bad world, they should do so equally and not discriminate. protection is another matter, and Islam already has provisions for this - girls should not travel beyond a certain distance without a mahrem, they should cover themselves modestly, all these laws are for our protection - if a girl is abiding by these laws of Allah, why should parents feel the need to protect her further, when she has secured the protection of Allah?

u tell em girl

its the cavemen who dicate that boys can roam the street whilst girls shud stay at home

no wonder so many guys are going astray :roll:

my dads BIG on keeping my brother indoors after magrib-which is good cos whenever he goes out with his mates he gets into trouble :roll:

"nAS786" wrote:
"*DUST*" wrote:

yes but isnt that the exact same way boys should be 'sheltered'? leading to the conclusion that muslim girls are in fact no more sheltered than muslim boys, or atleast, they shouldnt be.

boys and girls are not the same , yes we are eqaul but are diffrent have diffrent roles and therefore are treated in a diffrent way.e.g. muslim girls should not go out alone at night due to obvious dangers, however guys can go out at night as we can handle ourselves , also e.g. girls should cover themselves because guys will perv on them , harass or may try to chat them up, however guys are unlikely to get harassed by girls, etc

I agree with this point, ALLAH protects us all to a certain extent...but the reason ALLAH has given us parents is so that they do watch over us and shelter us. Girls and guys nowadays are treated equally, but on the point about being sheltered....Girls just need more sheltering...yea theyre are islamic laws set that girls need to follow, but theres no control over the crazy world out there. Guys dont have anything to lose really, whereas girls could lose their dignity and respect. Covering yourself doesnt stop anyone from haraasing you. Sure you can control your own actions but not the actions of others. People can haraas you with their eyes. :roll:

"RoSeAnGeL" wrote:
I agree with this point, ALLAH protects us all to a certain extent...but the reason ALLAH has given us parents is so that they do watch over us and shelter us. Girls and guys nowadays are treated equally, but on the point about being sheltered....Girls just need more sheltering...yea theyre are islamic laws set that girls need to follow, but theres no control over the crazy world out there. Guys dont have anything to lose really, whereas girls could lose their dignity and respect. Covering yourself doesnt stop anyone from haraasing you. Sure you can control your own actions but not the actions of others. People can haraas you with their eyes. :roll:

as mentioned in previous posts, 'sheltering' and 'protection' are two different things and both boys and girls need 'sheltering' to the same extent.
also, no offence but i think its a backwards cultural concept that girls alone have 'dignity and respect' to lose. this attitude has meant that boys were let out of the house with no restrictions whatsoever and the opposite treatment was implemented on girls. these are two extremes. the Islamic ideal is somewhere in the middle, as always.

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

I don’t think I could ever be happy in a home where there was one rule for the son and another for the daughter..

I have been “physically” sheltered….i.e. my dad/brother do not let me carry heavy shopping bags, they always wash my car/put petrol in it, they never ask me to move heavy furniture with them, DIY etc is their job…

But as far as going out is concerned…we’re both equally sheltered. Some family members of mine have learnt the hard way of being OTT with sheltering the daughter and allowing the son to do what he wants…

Hey now, i never said that guys should not have any restrictions and should be allowed to do as they please, that wasnt my point. All I wanted to say is that I really dont think that protection wise guys and gals r treated in the same manner. So chill, women have just as many rights as men do, no one is denying htat fact.

"MuslimSister" wrote:
I don’t think I could ever be happy in a home where there was one rule for the son and another for the daughter..

But as far as going out is concerned…we’re both equally sheltered. Some family members of mine have learnt the hard way of being OTT with sheltering the daughter and allowing the son to do what he wants…

in no way was i advocating that guys should have ultimate freedom and allowing the son to do what he wants - everyone agrees sons need restrictions probably more so than girls in some ways- but i think the idea that boys and girls should have eqaul sheltering very amusing Lol

i mean does your mum and dad spend the eqaul amount of time at home and outside, yes if you do not give your son restrictions he may well go out of control however if you shelter your son too much there also be very detrimental effects.

whereas a girl will after leaving home get married she will be the wife, a guy after leaving home will get married and be a husband

according to islam are the rules of being husband and wife the same :?:
they may be eqaul but not the same

in pakistan , saudi arabia do girls go out eqaully as mush a guys :?:

"nAS786" wrote:

in pakistan , saudi arabia do girls go out eqaully as mush a guys :?:

i mean does your mum and dad spend the eqaul amount of time at home and outside

in saudi arabia women cant vote or drive either-

so whats ur point

btw -my mum and dad and sister and brother spend equal time outside the home

dad has a 9-5 job

mum does shopping daily or is attending or leading an islamic circle somwhere or visiting a mate she's free by 4.00pm

sister is daily either in uni, work, or attending/leading an circle or in some meeting or doing other stuff-she's at home usually by 5.pm or later

my brother goes to college daily-he's home by 4.30

and usually dad and brother sit at home most weekend whilst my sister is out

ur views are very amusing Lol Lol

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btw -my mum and dad and sister and brother spend equal time outside the home

surprising :o jus out of interest how much of this is same for everyone else

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Quote:
dad has a 9-5 job

mum does shopping daily or is attending or leading an islamic circle somwhere or visiting a mate she's free by 4.00pm

sister is daily either in uni, work, or attending/leading an circle or in some meeting or doing other stuff-she's at home usually by 5.pm or later

my brother goes to college daily-he's home by 4.30

seems like a well rganised busy family, i got 7 other bros and siss and but i cant remember their daily routines :?

Quote:
and usually dad and brother sit at home most weekend whilst my sister is out

:shock: again i find this unusaul , how much is this true for everyone else

Regarding how much time one is in/out of the house depends on ones commitments (i.e. the stuff their involved in) and not their gender.

Most of my girl mates -married/unmarried are usually only home in the evenings. Their day is spent either at work/Uni/Islamic circles/shopping or some other Islamic commitment.

Like Dust pointed out, both men AND women shouldn’t be outside the home unnecessarily after maghrib.

you guys are making it sound as if women are like a fragile house of cards, who will collapse with the slightest gust of wind :roll:

In what way do women need sheltering more than men please name me the examples. Apart from the obvious physical protection what else are you getting at? Do you realise this idea of sheltering girls and allowing boys to have freedom to do as they please is a very Victorian idea. It often resulted in boys growing up to be licentious, abusive, controlling men who ruled their women like kings over servants. So you're basically following a backward idea of women's rights, it doesn't tally with the islamic concept at all.

All of my brothers are home in the evenings they're tired from work or college. They leave socialising for weekend daylight hours. Frankly there's no good reason for ppl especially teens going out late night. Don't tell me you have a yoga class at 10pm :roll:

"yashmaki" wrote:
you guys are making it sound as if women are like a fragile house of cards, who will collapse with the slightest gust of wind :roll:

In what way do women need sheltering more than men please name me the examples. Apart from the obvious physical protection what else are you getting at? Do you realise this idea of sheltering girls and allowing boys to have freedom to do as they please is a very Victorian idea. It often resulted in boys growing up to be licentious, abusive, controlling men who ruled their women like kings over servants. So you're basically following a backward idea of women's rights, it doesn't tally with the islamic concept at all.

All of my brothers are home in the evenings they're tired from work or college. They leave socialising for weekend daylight hours. Frankly there's no good reason for ppl especially teens going out late night. Don't tell me you have a yoga class at 10pm :roll:


lol. well said sis. Wink

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

Salam

Most parents and grandparents as well as brothers, uncles and the rest, they like boys more than girls.

Girls nag more than boys. They have this undesirable quality.

They annoy and irritate others with persistent fault finding and continuous urging.

Omrow

"Omrow" wrote:

Salam

Most parents and grandparents as well as brothers, uncles and the rest, they like boys more than girls.

thats BS

unless u come from a caveman type family-cos in that case ur point is valid

"Omrow" wrote:

Girls nag more than boys. They have this undesirable quality.

well if women are surrounded by men such as u

u cant blame them for being bitter, moody and always nagging

I know that they dont nag when they have real men. And I also know why they nag when they nag.

"Omrow" wrote:
And I also know why they nag when they nag.
well then if you know why they nag when they nag then why nag them about their nagging, instead u might aswell do something to stop the nagging. :roll:

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

I dont agree with everyone have freedom, it the mindsets that wrong for girls and for boys. Some parents always suspects their daughters although they havent done anything wrong and keep asking them , interrogating them which is wrong. In the contrary they will never ask yhe sons what they are doing or why are they coming late why always girls have to face all these wrong allegations. And as if beside going to university or working they dont have a right to enjoy their lives beside doing anything wrong . It shouldnt be a problem if she is going out with friends ( groups of girls ). Why women are always as sub humans as they dont have their wills. Firstly, they their libe acxording to their parents, then according to their husbands and then atlast also they gain nothing from their children. Why they have to seem permission for everything thing they do. If we someone have four sons then he would proundly say it. “Ma Sha Allah i have four sons”and if girls are their instead of boys then they consider a burden. And dont understand the discrimation between the gender. Why even in this modern era, girls are consider burden whereas boys as a symbol of pride. Woman should be given as much freesom as a Man.

Wow, Men have as much to ‘lose’ as women do, we must remember, that we are Muslims, and not backward thinking misogynists here, dignity and respect are virtues that both sexes should seek to attain and uphold, not just our women folk,

it is precisley this line of thinking, that has led to the corruption and fitnah that we see scores of young so called ‘Muslim’ men engaging in, pre marital sex, drinking, drugs, clubbing etc, it is these EXACT men, who are harrassing our women, i mean how many non Muslim men are in hot pursuit of Muslim Hijaab, Abaya, Niqaab, No makeup clad/unclad women? it is also these very men, who uphold the rampant double standards we see in society today, where Muslim men, who are prolific zina commiters are standard, the tradgedy of this, is felt throughout the ummah, and in particular by the pious women folk our sisters, our mother, etc who are then sought by these Men, who dispite their ways, desire in marriage, virginal, Hafid, wall flowers ‘sheltered’ girls for wives, it is these men, who leave OUR daughters at home holding the baby, or babies more then likely, while they are out gallavanting with SanJay, and Pete for the umpteenth time that week, why? because boundaries, Islam, and morality was deemed to be more fitting for our girls then our boys, so it is something they to learnt to impose rather then commit themseleves to, Astagfirullah 

For sure women are generally ‘Physically’ weaker then men, and have less ability to ‘Physically’ protect themselves, but the obvious differences in physiological makeup, must not blur the lines of logic, I might send my son for nessesities at an unsociable hour, however the ‘Crazy world’ you are refering too, also dictates that Men too, are not safe, lurking around in the darkness, and should only do so as and when nessary, 

Thing is, these parents ‘shelter’, or rather hold their daughters to higher codes of morality, then they do their sons, these parents who turn a blind eye to the whereabouts and shameful antics of their sons, do so, for no other reason, then the very same misogynistic, none islamic ideals that you demonstrated in your commentary, that women can be ruined, whereas men cannot.

As one of the correctly guided contributers to this thread stated, and as anyone with common sense would understand, those seeking entertainment outside their homes after the time of Magrib, are more then likely seeking the entertaiment of shaytaan, with little exception, when evening comes Muslims, Yes all of us, should be preparing themseleves for Isha prayer, settling down for the Night, to wake up in time for Fajr, and preferably Tahajjud, ( The night prayer), 

Unfortunately you are quite mistaken, ‘Guys’ and Girls, or Men and women as they are more commonly known, are far from being treated equally, anywhere on planet earth i’m afraid, we have people like you to thank for that…….

In response to the question that intially began this thread, the answer is quite simple,  Parents and Grandparents who prefer male offspring to females, do so because they are repugnant ungrates, who do not deserve the blessing Allah has favored them with, we should not look to degrade the females of the ummah, by offering up prejudice and stereotypical, reasoning as too why females may be treated or considered of lesser value by their famillies, Are people going to offer reasoning of why Men might batter their pious wives next? oooh they might be naggers, or be habitual toast burners, shame on all of you who offered, your ten cents of cobswollop, The Lord himself has Explicitly condemned the actions of such people in the Quran itself, and thus, so should every Muslim, FULL STOP.

BiggrinBecause boys are much better than whimpy little girls

U don't have a life if u have the time to write that u nerd

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