Zahida wrote:

I personally think, the men that dont like career women are those who feel intimidated by them, they dont like women reachig a higher position than them (in terms of job/career)because it threathen thier ego

Another thing, If some men did their job properly, provided for their familys and BEHAVED in the way islam asks them too then maybe these women wouldn't have to work so hard to provide for themselves and their families.

It is a man's duty to provide for the woman but these days so many men make it out as if they are doing the wife a favour. It is a right of a wife!

Some of these hard working women would love to stay at home to look after their families, but they have no choice.

Another point, so many of us expect female-only services for the female population of the muslim community such a female Dr's, nurses, solicitors, social workers etc, if these CAREER women didn't exist then unfortunately these privileges would not exist.

Before you ask, I am a career woman and do work really hard in life at the same time fulfilling all my duties that islam requires me to fulfill. Its hard but it is possible. We are not here to enjoy and relax, we have a duty.

I like u!

whats really annoying
is when there r men who complain when their wives wanna go out shoppin n say well u dont know where money comes from all u do is stay at home
n then refuse to elt them work
hypocrites

ps
I dont hate men
in case ur all wondering!

s.b.f wrote:

The role of a man from an Islamic point of view is to provide for the family by working.

What is the role of a woman from an Islamic point of view?

Correct me if im wrong,, but the role of a wife islamically is to look after her husband and children.. thou there are no restrictions on women working in islam, as long as they do theyre primary jobs (housework etc) first (:

I dont hate men either

I just wish there were more REAL men in this world. It's the hypocrites that annoy me.

Also, we always hear some men saying that british muslims girls dont make good wives, always comparing to the ones back home, the reason they dont have the demands we do is because they dont know any better, they were raised to think they will be housewives not spending most of the day working.

I love the freedom that work allows me to have, i can spend money on who i like when i like, without the thought that it is going to be thrown back at me when the next argument arises.

xSmurfy786x wrote:

thou there are no restrictions on women working in islam, as long as they do theyre primary jobs (housework etc) first (:

Housework is not a primary job for women.

It's the husband's job to provide for that too!

A wife's primary duty is to be 'available'.

xSmurfy786x wrote:

s.b.f wrote:

The role of a man from an Islamic point of view is to provide for the family by working.

What is the role of a woman from an Islamic point of view?

Correct me if im wrong,, but the role of a wife islamically is to look after her husband and children.. thou there are no restrictions on women working in islam, as long as they do theyre primary jobs (housework etc) first (:

Her primary job is to look after the children, both husband and wife have to do housework and look after the kids, though a wife has an option to work.

Interesting, hmm I know Islam emphasises attaining knowledge 'even if you have to travel to China' ... but does it anywhere emphasise job seeking?

Apparently that is a fabricated hadith.

Islam - QA : “Seek knowledge even if you have to go as far as China” is a false hadeeth

That link says:

Shaykh al-Albaani said in Da’eef al-Jaami’: “(It is) fabricated.” (no. 906).

But many scholars do use this hadith, so they must have an alternative understanding. Anyone want to hit me with a clue stick?

Even if it is a weak Hadith according to some scholars, it basically has same message according to Deen which is the great importance of education.

Even though it is not an authentic hadith, there are many authentic ones, and verses in the Qur'an which say that seeking knowledge is almost compulsary.

The Prophet said: “You should be a scholar, or a student, or a listener, or a lover of knowledge and scholars, and you should not be the fifth (category) which makes you perish. The fifth category is: To hate knowledge and its people.” (At-Tabarani)

But I'm more confused at what you mean by this:

wednesday wrote:

Do women necessarily require 'independance'? I mean they have freewill just like everyone else, but seeking independance is isolating yourself from the main Ummah and being somebody who thinks that they are better than someone else...

There is nothing wrong with being independant. It does not mean you become arrogant or isolate yourself from everyone else. It just means you don't follow other people blindly, and you think for yourself. It doesn't (or at least shouldnt) mean you would never seek help from people who you are more knowledgeable/wise than you. Being independant is, in my opinion, the only way you can truly acknowledge the responsibility Allah (swt) has given EACH of us as individuals.

@ weds, angel - that scholar is NOT calling it weak, but fabricated. However there may be others who disagree with him.

A difference of that hadith compared to others is that there were not Muslims living in china, so the type of knowledge it is talking about is not religious knowledge, so that can be used as a counter to some people who argue that ONLY religious knowledge of the qur'an, sunnah etc is important.

But that counter only works if that hadith is real.

On the question of Islam and independence, I would like to direct your gazes towards Islam and freedom, a blog post asking some questions.

There is a difference been a career woman and a working woman. Ive yet to hear of a muslim couple divorce on the basis of the latter. You cannot paint them with the same brush. Most muslim women that Ive come across recognise the importance and position of children and family and know the position of work in their lives, and what has priority.

Its sad but not unknown for women (or men) to fall into nasty habits when they are idle at home (and do not have something more constructive to occupy them such as work). With a void to fill, they run the risk of falling into habits such as gossiping. Im sure that you have witnesses it yourself.

The first believer to accept Islam was a highly successful business woman.

As long as a woman is careful that working doesn't cause her to neglect her other duties, which come first, then I can't see how it would ruin her marriage. Plus, a marriage involves two people, where inshallah you try to compensate for each others shortcomings. No girl is wonder woman and I think having such expectations is what actually ruins a marriage, not a woman having a career.

The more inspiring women we have out there the better. And I'd say that these days to live a comfortable life it helps a great deal if the woman is earning too.

A lot of married women who work do it for the family... not for selfish reasons. And this despite the fact that any money she earns is hers to spend how she pleases. Yet I'd say most women use the extra income to help with family life and household costs which I think is only right.

I'm sure married women who are working make small sacrifices along the way, but inshallah the highs are much much higher than any lows. And also I think only us, the rest of the ummah, benefit from their ambitions/sacrifices. I think it is great that we live in a country where we have many Muslim women in so many varied jobs.

PS - And I didn't vote. The options are too limited IMO.

What if in certain situations when married women have no choice but to work, for example the husbands factory gets burned down and the factory was not insured and then they need money but the bank refuses any loan and the husband looks for a job but gets refused as a last resort the wife has no choice and has to work to keep the household running. Should she start working?
What would your opinion be in this situation.

What should the wife do when her parents in law do not want her to work and she wants to work and her husband does not mind her working. What would be the right thing for her to do?

Hire a hitman?

Mez wrote:

What if in certain situations when married women have no choice but to work, for example the husbands factory gets burned down and the factory was not insured and then they need money but the bank refuses any loan and the husband looks for a job but gets refused as a last resort the wife has no choice and has to work to keep the household running. Should she start working?
What would your opinion be in this situation.

In such a situation I think she should definitely start working. I see it has her only being supportive... being there to stop and swap, carry the load till he gets his breath back sort of thing.

Mez wrote:

What should the wife do when her parents in law do not want her to work and she wants to work and her husband does not mind her working. What would be the right thing for her to do?

This is a tricky one. Ultimately her loyalties are to her husband. A compromise is the ideal thing, yet they can't always be reached in every situation.

I've seen something similar happen myself and it led to resentment on the girls part, and then the marriage breaking down.

A good question... I think it depends on how much it means to the girl and its significance in her happiness. And that should come first.

wednesday wrote:

Mez wrote:

What should the wife do when her parents in law do not want her to work and she wants to work and her husband does not mind her working. What would be the right thing for her to do?

Compromise? Does she absolutely NEED to work?

However, most of my cousins are in Pakistan, and I know of this particular lady who's achieved alot academically a deg in Chemistry and a masters in Geography. Well, basically she wanted to work with the air force (labs) BUT since she's going to get married soon, her father-in-law-to-be pays for all her expenses and has restricted the option to work because there's no need to. (IT's a rather selfish notion from the FIL, but my cousins are just too obedient)

Yeah, but paying all her expenses is not selfish. Even if he did such a thing after her marriage, it's still very generous.

Is that the problem though... a means of gaining control perhaps? Ensuring a say in the matter?

wednesday wrote:

I personally think that's a waste of academia, am I wrong to think so?

No you're not wrong, I suppose she will have learnt so much more though just from the experience of it all inshallah.

Erm i think that in the modern day your kind of asking the impossible of a woman to stay at home and not work,,of course the breadwinner should be the male,,but in terms of having a career it can be just as important a women to have a career plan than a man,,but if women start getting too 'funny' with their money and dont accept finance from husbands then it becomes an issue of pride and respect for a male,,, but wen a women has children i feel its important to spend those first few vital years with them so stayin at home for those few short years is not a bad idea but if they cant do that then i guess part time work is next best thing,i mean especially if father is on the night shift and day shift mix the mother has gta be with the child ITS SOOO VERY IMPORTANT and i gta laugh first loooolzzzzzz ' man marrying a gyal juust for her money?' even sounds wrong sayin it wah kinda man is that (ama guy btw) and for looks thy are of course important but are not the only factor,,wat famili the gyal is from and how strong she is in terms of practicing islam are more important, i mean it aint such a gd idea to marry a fit gyal if she does not practice in hope that she will start namaz later loooolz who know how long their gna live only Allah knows so makin the right choice of marriage etc is important may Allah guide all muslims right inshAllah

St786 wrote:

...but wen a women has children i feel its important to spend those first few vital years with them so stayin at home for those few short years is not a bad idea but if they cant do that then i guess part time work is next best thing...

One thing to be aware of is that the Prophet was brought up by a foster mother, even though his mother was alive. The separation is not that big a thing. It may be good to have parent child time, but its not obligatory.

Yeah i see where ur comin its not at all obligatory but that young age will never come again and those small joys are special for a mother ,,im speaking from experience though lolz evryone has there like n dislikes challo

What if its a daughter?

Does it have to be about preference?

Maybe some people need to work too, to keep them sane...or maybe not.

Sanity is a preference...

True...

The type of woman whose kids are not at home?

Besides its not all about boredom and its not her duty to hover over them 24/7 - that could actually be damaging to their development.