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Never really thought about not being able to have kids… we take so much for granted.
If I couldn’t have kids I would definitely think of adopting. I think a lot of Muslims probably don’t adopt because of what other people will say or think. I hate all that living to please others stuff. And also I think pride has a lot to do with it which is just crazy, considering everything good or bad is from Allah swt.
I know a girl who after having had 1 child was struggling to conceive. I remember talking to her about adoption and she said her and her husband had talked about it. Her husband was happy about it but she said she didn't want to as she was worried/scared she would feel differently about that child to the way she loved her own. I admire that honesty and think it is quite a natural concern that maybe most would have.
I remember reading an interview of Angelina Jolie’s and she said how she had never wanted her own children because there were already so many children in need of a family and a loving home. However when she became pregnant she said she was really scared that she might feel a different type of bond with her biological child to what she felt with her adopted kids. Again I think she’s really brave for admitting that. She says she loves them all the same though.
I wouldn’t ever leave my husband if he couldn’t have kids. And I wouldn’t think much of him at all if he wanted to marry someone else. You take the good with the bad.
I feel sorry for the women who's husbands leave because they cant concieve a baby, especially when they are the ones firing blanks.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Lol. No I say good riddance, who needs ppl like that.
^True
A man that leaves his wife for this reason is pathetic and a waste of space.
I want to adopt a kid even when i have my own, will see, its nice to make a difference in the life of a young person who is deprived.
maasha'Allah, good on ya sis. if the woman can't get pregnant, the guy should marry again but not leave the wife.
My hubby is only ever going to have one wife and thats me, kids or no kids...i dont think i could handle him having another wife,maybe its selfish but hey...
thats not selfish at all
they say a women can share anything, bt not her husband
"ThiS WoRlD Iz A PrIsOn 4 A BeLiVeR AnD PaRaDiSe 4 A NoN-BeLiVeR.........."
Didnt i just say that?
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Like i said i miss out your posts :twisted:
Oh yes i should have remembered that.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
I'm only messing about, i just couldnt help making that comment on the last thread....even if someone has said what i think i like to put it in my own words....
whats the best age to adopt a child? I would like to adopt a child when he/she is a few weeks/months, better time to build a bond....
Yup defo, then the woman can suckle the child as well and then, there won't be a mahram issue.
erm, she can't do that if she can't have kids, there wouldn't be any milk. even i know that.
The only one who can do that would be someone who given birth to her own kid and therefore be able to produce milk. In many cultures, including Arabia at the time of Prophet
and in Victorian Britain (for middle-class families), this was common. The woman would be called a 'wetnurse' and would be like a nanny only MUCH more involved.
Why do I know SO much (its probably inaccurate anyway)??
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Hormone injection.
That's my name, don't wear it out.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Ok.
Ppl are so quick to say now that if they cant have kids they will adopt. But how many of us will see it through?
The thing about ppl of the Pakistani origin is that they care a lot for other ppls views (dont know why) and they dont want to be the talk of the neighbourhood (which they will be if they adopt).
Then there is the issue of the parents. If the guy is shooting blanks then his in laws would pressure their daughter into marrying someone else. If its the other way round and the women is infertile her in laws would defo want their son to remarry. Most children will give into their parents demands esp when faced with emotional blackmail.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
Why is there an "if" in there in the first place?
"If someone forces me, I will do the right thing."
And are there any Muslim Adoption agencies in the UK?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
stop pulling a paxman^
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
no.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
fair enough
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
It's not about being forced at all. It's about wanting to experience what is natural or 'right' ie the way it is 'supposed' to be, in the first place if inshallah you can. 'Doing the right thing' can be applied to many, many things. Not adopting, but instead choosing to have your own children isn't doing the wrong thing as such. If we lived in such a perfect world, there wouldn't be any kids in need of adoption.
None of us know what the future will hold. I think the reason that many don't adopt is because they are worried about what other people will say. I wouldn't let that stop me from adopting a child if I wanted to.
not that im aware of probs for the obvious reason that we dont get earthquakes and floods here so hence no orphans. You might get some Muslim kids in the normal adoption agencies. They tend to be those that are either not conceived in wedlock or are crossbreeds (ie dad Muslim, mum non believer, relationship not working out, dad does a runner, mum cant cope, kid goes up for adoption).
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
[b]THE VIRTUES OF PREGNANCY[/b]
· When a woman is pregnant with a child, all the angels will make Istighfar (repentance) on her behalf. Allah SWT will, for each day of her pregnancy, write for her 1000 good deeds and erase from her 1000 bad deeds.
· When a pregnant woman starts to feel the pain from contractions, Allah SWT will write in her records as someone who is doing jihad (spiritual or physical struggle) in His path.
· When a woman becomes pregnant by her husband and he is pleased with her, she obtains the reward of a person engaging in fasting for Allah SWT and a person spending the night in ibaadah (worship).
· A woman from the time of pregnancy until childbirth and weaning the baby, is like the Mujahid (someone fighting in the path of Allah, swa) who is stationed on the frontiers of the Islamic land. If she dies during this period, she dies the death of a shahid (martyr).
· Two raka'at salaat performed by a pregnant woman is better than 80 raka'at salaat performed by a non-pregnant woman.
· A woman who is pregnant gets the reward of fasting during the day and of doing ibaadah (worship) during the nights.
· A woman who gives birth gets the reward of 70 years of salaat (prayer) and fasting. For each vein that feels pain, Allah SWT gives her the reward of one accepted hajj (Pilgrimage to Makkah).
· If the woman dies within 40 days of giving birth, she will die as a shahid (matyr).
(Hadith)......."A woman that dies in her virginity or during her pregnancy or at the time of birth or thereafter (in nifaas) will attain the rank of a martyr"
Nabi(salalaallahu alayhi wassallam) is reported to have also said ".......When her labour pains commence, the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her child, then she will be granted a reword for every gulp of milk, if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of the child, she will receive the reword of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah Ta'ala. O Salaamat! Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, with a delicate nature yet obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them"
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
Lots of things are noble acts.
Giving money to the poor, feeding the captives, helping disabled people, looking after old people, educating people, providing crucial health care for the sick…even sorting out someone’s problems is a noble act.
There’s a LOT of things I want to do in life – but adopting is not one of them. I don’t feel apologetic about it – and I couldn’t careless if society is for or against adoption. Society doesn’t influence my way of thinking...I just don’t feel inclined that way…..I work with kids I see enough of them as it is and I know they are hard work. My extended family is FULL of little kids and I’ve seen family members one by one get stressed over all of them.
I just think bringing up your own child is hard enough nowadays – and a adopted child would come with a lot of other issues too (behavioural issues, bonding issues, pardah issues, real parents may be difficult etc etc)
It’s a noble act. Muslims should be encouraged to adopt. But at the same time, it’s a lifelong commitment that needs to be seen through properly – one shouldn’t just adopt cos they feel they ‘should’ or cos is in ‘fashion’ these days.
whoa das wikdd
i wana b a woman now lol
"ThiS WoRlD Iz A PrIsOn 4 A BeLiVeR AnD PaRaDiSe 4 A NoN-BeLiVeR.........."
Yeah it was the same before you read that
i was joking please dont take it too seriously.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
lol
say what you want a dnt take jokes seriously m8
"ThiS WoRlD Iz A PrIsOn 4 A BeLiVeR AnD PaRaDiSe 4 A NoN-BeLiVeR.........."
If i didnt say i was joking i know you would have been offended because it came from me.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
If you can have your own kids and therefore choose not to adopt then fair dos. If on the other hand you cant have kids what is so wrong with adopting? These so called "Muslims" really need to stop practising culture and start paying more attention to religion. I feel sorry for such ppl.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
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