Weddings!

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"yashmaki" wrote:

They attempted to force me to spoon feed him mitai in my parental home, in front of a mixed audience. I quite loudly said no at which point they got the message and got my aunty to do it :x

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For all the things these ppl made me do may Allah forgive them coz i wont. They disrespected my wishes. They knew what kind of a girl i was and what kind of a wedding i had wanted for months. Yet they just threw it in my face and His.

MashaALLAH Lady Muslima a very good post.

I agree with all of the points but specifically about the two quoted above.

1. Other Purdahnasheen women will inshaALLAH be encouraged by you refusing to do that shameful act of feeding your husband in front of evry1. I maintain that ALL humans are followers of som1 or the other, they need examples to follow.

Eg I am an extremely weak person but some things I can alhamdulillah do because my Teachers do them, because I see people doing those things even in this time or in this country. Hence I congratulate this Lady Muslima for openly refusing to do anti sunnat acts as this will act as a strong example to others and according my thought such actions are a much better example of dawat and rectification for the muslim masses because the person LEADS BY EXAMPLE!

2. Others might think that Lady Muslima not forgiving the ppl involved is harsh but I agree with Lady Muslima. When a person constantly makes clear his/her wishes and yet still ppl ignore it, it is particularly hurtful and is an indication that ones opinions are not valued or considered significant. When these opinions are not opinions but rules from divine law the violation is particulalry upsetting and I fully sympathise with Lady Muslima on this issue.

We pray that ALLAH grant ALL believers the ability to follow sunnah in even the most minute of acts let alone major events such as wedding and funerals.

Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.

"AbdusSalamBiharwi" wrote:

3. My point was if she is gonna show her face then y does she hide it at nikah time and infact this is across the board in pakistani weddings. Dosent matter whether the girl veils at other times, at nikah time she has her face completely hidden, y?

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and my point is its up to the BRIDE if/when she chooses to cover her face and expose it :roll:

btw I didnt know feeding ur husband in front of others is a shameful act-

its cute and maybe a bit embarassing....but I dont see it as being shameful

Ok u dont see it as shameful, I do when it means loadsa ppl watching doing it in public.

We differ, big deal.

Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.

"yashmaki" wrote:

I hate extravagant weddings.

I hate heavy make up

I had to fight to get a fully segregated hall

I had to fight to wear my niqab throughtout my nikah.

I had to fight to wear a jilbab

I had to constantly tell ppl to respect my wishes and not take photos.

I forcibly had a flower garland thrown around my neck!

I was forced to sit in a decorated seat with my husband

They attempted to force me to spoon feed him mitai in my parental home, in front of a mixed audience. I quite loudly said no at which point they got the message and got my aunty to do it :x

For all the things these ppl made me do may Allah forgive them coz i wont. They disrespected my wishes. They knew what kind of a girl i was and what kind of a wedding i had wanted for months. Yet they just threw it in my face and His.
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whilst I disgree with many of the things that u have issues with

I agree that it was wrong for ur family not to take your views into consideration

after all it was YOUR wedding-so it should have been celebrated the way YOU wanted it to be

that's Asian parents for u

waaay too controlling

In weddings compromises should be made. A wedding is for everyone-not just for the bride and groom.

Its extremely important (but sometimes impossible) to keep everyone happy.

went to a wedding on Sunday

bride looked pretty-guy looked better then her

hall was posh-looked like a castle

served food from Nawaab restaurant (AGIAN!!)

bride wore red-she had her head properly covered

she didnt have OTT gold on-which made her look even more pretty

u could hardly hear the music in the back-which was good

but it dragged on for hours as usual

they were very educated/modern type people so no cultural crap took place in their wedding

wish i could go 2 a wedding like that, all the ones i get 2 go are a bore and so typical, and i especially cant stand the timing. nowadayz the bride/groom even turn up late! :shock:

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

served food from Nawaab restaurant (AGIAN!!)

Lucky you.

Went to a wedding Sunday. Health inspectors turned up.

I had always been cautious of wedding food. I've seen the way they handle it and stuff in the 'kitchen'.

But after the wedding I had to go to the place where the food was made. Man, I'm never gonna eat wedding food again.

Even the chicken?!?!?! :shock: Cray 2 Cray 2 Cray 2

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

"Hayder Hussain" wrote:
Even the chicken?!?!?! :shock: Cray 2 Cray 2 Cray 2

Just a little bit of rice from now on.

Afghani go away, stop puttin eveyone off wedin food please and at wedins they always delay the food and your starvin so you have to eat somethin or otherwise you faint out of hunger!

"irfghan" wrote:
"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

served food from Nawaab restaurant (AGIAN!!)

Lucky you.

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I've eaten food from there-in the last FIVE weddings I've been too

eating the same food again and again and again makes u sick

Manchester people should know that Nawaab is not the ONLY caterer in Mancheter

"angel" wrote:
Afghani go away, stop puttin eveyone off wedin food please and at wedins they always delay the food and your starvin so you have to eat somethin or otherwise you faint out of hunger!

Just trying to save everyone from a dodgy tummy. And hopefully adding pressure for the raising of wedding food standards.

Stick to the drinks people. But check the sell-by-dates on the bottles.

I've seen and experienced how food is 'handed' out. No-one washes their hands. None of the utensils are re-washed after coming out of the van. If something comes back it goes back into the pot with everything else. Starters are hardly ever re-heated. Half-empty coke/water-bottles refilled with one funnel or by hand...

The only decent food I've had at a wedding was one where they had a buffet. But then people push in (but that's another story).

The 'catering' place. Urghhh... in the middle of some industrial estate. One long and narrow room with blackened floor. People with blackened faces and dirty clothes sitting on the floor at the far end making chapattis. Two built old men with beards and facial deformities taking the pots and things from the van to the store-room.
Not to mention the filth that came out of mouth of the drivers and owners.

If anyone wants any putting-off from restaurant food read [i]Down and Out in Paris and London[/i] by George Orwell.

theres' two cultural taboo's in weddings

one is that of the bride dancing

the older generation makes such a big deal out of it

bride should dance as much as she wants-it is HER wedding after all

they expect her to look all depressed and unhappy :roll:

second thing that gets the old aunties moaning about is if the bride and groom sit on the stage and talk and laugh amongst themselves

SO WHAT

if the bride and groom are chatting that to me means that the marriage aint forced and they are both very happy about it

not nessicarly.

its just customs, you shouldnt read into it too much

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

Do you know what I like about weddings?

(Maryam knows)

(where did maryam go?)

THE CAKE!

SOFT DELICIOUS CREAM FILLED TASTY TASTY ICED 8 FOOT HIGH CAKE!

where ELSE can you find a cake as tall as a person - no, no TALLER than a person.

miles and miles and miles of cake!!!

This is normal cake - modeled by an extremely unattractive (and very depressed) individual

[img]

This is a wedding cake modeled by two reasonably attractive (and far happier) individuals

[img]

You can [b]SEE[/b] the difference yourselves! Bigger cakes make you 1. Happier, and 2. More attractive.

lol....explains why at most asian weddings, theres no cake in sight!! Lol

no1 is happy and every1 is unattractive Blum 3

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

"Hayder Hussain" wrote:
lol....explains why at most asian weddings, theres no cake in sight!! Lol

no1 is happy and every1 is unattractive Blum 3

I had to bribe my friend Navi into having one at his wedding - ended up buying the bloody thing for him.

But i'm willing to take one for the team.

I think I ended up eating most of it too...

Indian weddings - if they are anything like Paki weddings, are like a cross between a texas cattle roundup and a royal banquet.

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:
theres' two cultural taboo's in weddings

one is that of the bride dancing

the older generation makes such a big deal out of it

bride should dance as much as she wants-it is HER wedding after all

they expect her to look all depressed and unhappy :roll:

My mate went to a wedding only the other day where the both the groom and the bride danced together. He said they did a 'waltz' (however that goes, I doubt he knows himself). But this is way out of order. Taking things too far.

If the bride wants to dance in front of her girlfriends and female 'cousins', then that's OK. But everyone, male and female, joining in in a song and dance together smacks of 'jungli'-ness.

BTW didn't you make a fuss about the bride being put on 'display'. By dabncing, isn't she making a display of herself?

"Dave" wrote:

(Maryam knows)

(where did maryam go?)

THE CAKE!

She's morphed into 'Yashmaki'. :?

Probably got bitten by something Japanese. Blum 3

"irfghan" wrote:

If the bride wants to dance in front of her girlfriends and female 'cousins', then that's OK. But everyone, male and female, joining in in a song and dance together smacks of 'jungli'-ness.

BTW didn't you make a fuss about the bride being put on 'display'. By dabncing, isn't she making a display of herself?

Of course dancing should not be done in front of members of the opposite sex...

Last night I was in a girls only Mehndi where the bride was dancing (she was a great dancer!)... but for some reason this got some people all uptight...

"Hayder Hussain" wrote:
lol....explains why at most asian weddings, theres no cake in sight!! Lol

no1 is happy and every1 is unattractive Blum 3

Cakes are coming in fashion...in the three last weddings I attended this summer they all had a really massive cake...

But they don't serve it to the guest though for some reason...they just pose with it in front of the camera's

"MuslimSister" wrote:
"Hayder Hussain" wrote:
lol....explains why at most asian weddings, theres no cake in sight!! Lol

no1 is happy and every1 is unattractive Blum 3

Cakes are coming in fashion...in the three last weddings I attended this summer they all had a really massive cake...

But they don't serve it to the guest though for some reason...they just pose with it in front of the camera's

lol a bunch of posers.

My cuz bro just tied the knot recently and they had a cake but it was only served to relatives when every1 when back to theirs... ofcourse they took a few pictures with it first.

Back in BLACK

"MuslimSister" wrote:
"Hayder Hussain" wrote:
lol....explains why at most asian weddings, theres no cake in sight!! Lol

no1 is happy and every1 is unattractive Blum 3

Cakes are coming in fashion...in the three last weddings I attended this summer they all had a really massive cake...

But they don't serve it to the guest though for some reason...they just pose with it in front of the camera's

lol thats pure stingy, whats the point of a cake if you aint gona give it to the guests, if that was me i would have complained to them, i love b'day cakes and wedin cakes! my cuz had a cake on her wedin and it was served to all the guests.

"angel" wrote:

lol thats pure stingy, whats the point of a cake if you aint gona give it to the guests, if that was me i would have complained to them, i love b'day cakes and wedin cakes! my cuz had a cake on her wedin and it was served to all the guests.

I love cakes too.

Its so annoying when they just pose with it in front of the camera's...

I usually get my baby sister to go on the stage and break of little pieces of icing bring it back to me...

"MuslimSister" wrote:
"angel" wrote:

lol thats pure stingy, whats the point of a cake if you aint gona give it to the guests, if that was me i would have complained to them, i love b'day cakes and wedin cakes! my cuz had a cake on her wedin and it was served to all the guests.

I love cakes too.

Its so annoying when they just pose with it in front of the camera's...

I usually get my baby sister to go on the stage and break of little pieces of icing bring it back to me...

lol thats a good way get the wee kids to sneak you some at least they dont get shouted at or told off.

We were in bradford in the minhaj idara and nxt thing you see all these flashy cars hornin like mad there must have been bout over 20 cars with only 2 ppl sitin in each car! it was a wedin...and 2 mins later the cars came the opposite way i think they got lost lol!

"MuslimSister" wrote:
I usually get my baby sister to go on the stage and break of little pieces of icing bring it back to me...

Wow... that's pretty manipulative.

[size=7](I [i]knew[/i] she was an evil genius)[/size]

"Dave" wrote:
"MuslimSister" wrote:
I usually get my baby sister to go on the stage and break of little pieces of icing bring it back to me...

Wow... that's pretty manipulative.

[size=7](I [i]knew[/i] she was an evil genius)[/size]

yep-thats her immature evil side

she has her moments where she's even worse then me :shock:

anyway-the stingy bride and groom DESERVE to be jacked :evil:

Salaam

Went to a wedding (Walima) yesterday in B’ham… the “scandalous bride” had her head uncovered.

I didn’t see what the big deal was…she came into the hall properly covered up and then sat on the stage…and some ladies took off her outer gown and she sat there looking absolutely gorgeous.

If there’re no men present then why shouldn’t she dress as how she wants?….I suppose people are used to “Asian brides” just sitting on the stage with their veil on their head, weighing 20 kilo’s thus making it difficult for them to lift their head up….

It was a nice wedding…I was surprised that it started on time, dinner was served almost immediately and it was over in 3hours…

There were nasheeds playing in the background…and there weren’t more then 100 people present altogether.

Then after would when we went to her house, no cultural “rituals” took place…we just sat around taking photos and had a laugh. It was a decent wedding….one of the best weddings I’ve been too.

Wasalaam

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