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awwwww!!!
Who is the cat of the Forum? MEZ!
Your damn right!
[color=red]Ive tried that approach before, it duznt work,sooner u realise this isnt a dictatorship, the better for us all.[/color]
[color=indigo]
I understand the jealousy thing, and not feeling loved enuff etc.
But, men have been permitted 4 wives for a reason.
Men have a different genome system, frankly what im tryna say is (please dunt slap me) men kinda might (MIGHT) get bored of a woman after 10-15 years, n feel like they need a lil change.
N what if such a man consults his wifey very nicely,n lets her know, that infact he still loves her n all, but he jus feels like he needa marry agen becuz he needs summin new. And that its not at all that he duznt find her unattractive or nethin.
Put ya self in that situation, what would that make u feel, would u beleive it and agree to it?
Would u agree to it but you feel ur marraige will never be the same agen?
Think about all the middle aged married men, who have affairs
with the secretary or whoever it might be. Wouldnt it be better that he marries a 2nd time, and saves himself from a grave sin?
[/color]
The views expressed are in no way affiliated to Razor or any
third-party homies, they are infact views and questions
which the male species would like expressed and answered.
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
Razor that is fine but if the first wife agrees then he will be allowed to get married again, not to mention she would have the right to know why he wants to marry again!!
Who is the cat of the Forum? MEZ!
Your damn right!
lol razor you make me lauf.
Yes its tru... we "guys" can sometimes get a little sick and tired of the same old biryani day in day out and may prefer takeout on occation. Its only natural that they check out some rasmalai instead. Doesnt mean that they dont lov their wives.
No they shud infact inform their wives they're that they dont like what they're serving anymore and are going out for some new dish. Yeah i bet that will go down well.
Back in BLACK
There's no nice way of telling your wife that she isn't good enough.
well you dont say it in them words
of course there is....
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
However, you say it. The underlying message is the same.
"You're not good enough therefore a better model is needed".
lol....i better hut up b4 i get slapped
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
ok, since we're on the topic... (sorry guest! :P)
Mez, i dont think a guy [b]has to[/b] have the permission of his first wife to get married again (i.e. it's not considered 'necessary' by Islamic law) though that would be nice, common courtesy. :roll:
and i've heard women saying that they'd put in their Nikah contract: 'the guy cannot marry a 2nd wife (whilst 1st is alive obviously)' but this blatantly goes against sunnah, i dont think thats acceptable either. why would a couple want to place things which go against the sunnah of the Beloved Prophet (s.a.w) in a sacred contract? :?
in many arab countries its practically the cultural norm for guys to have more than one wife and the women and kids all live under one roof, i've even heard of 1st wifes finding the 2nd wife for their hubby... :shock:
i guess my point is: i know there are loadsa negatives we can think of when it comes to this topic, but please bear in mind that it IS the sunnah of Mohammed (s.a.w) and that having grown up in the West, the concept is alien to us and we are bound to be biased against it...
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
True... but wasnt that during a time of necessity?
Back in BLACK
thankyou
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
really? wot was the necessity? a sign of qiyamah apparently is that there will be many more women than men on Earth, so if anything i'd say we're closer to it being a necessity now as opposed to 1400 years ago...
its not as if its an obligation and every man MUST consider it, on the contrary there are loadsa guidelines to follow, BUT people shouldnt go on the other extreme and condemn it or go totally against it either...
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Salaam
When Hadrat Ali (ra) married Hadrat Fatima (ra) the Holy Prophet
strictly forbade him from marrying any one else as long as he was married to Hadrat Fatima (ra).
He
also said “To hurt her is to hurt me.
The actually sunnah of the Holy Prophet (saw), is that he was married to one wife first. It wasn't until after the death of his first wife that he married many more.
Hadrat Ali (ra) did the same.
Wasalaam
yea my dad told me that today (about Fatima (r.a.)).
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Necessity? Never been more nessesary if u ask me,
Every tym u look around (using your somewhat funny analogy) you see a different curry and new flavoured naan's. And you bored of your naan's, same naan all the tym, and every time you go out n look around, theres the better curry n better naan or halwa.
Now you urge for this new halwa builds n builds until one day u cant take it no more. N you go behind your wives back and try the halwa out. Then your wife finds out.
Either that, or u tell ur wife, that u really need the halwa, and u convince her, how this halwa will help both of you, becuz it will help you.
Also, Dust, the marriage contract thing where you can say ur husband cnt marry ne1 else til u die, That is only in shafi fiqh, and a woman of shafi fiqh has the right to hav that in her niqah contract, but women of other schools of fiqh must ask permission of their fiance b4 they put that into their contracts.
Now i dunt see nefin wrong with a fellow who's been married bout 3ish years getin married again, if he feels he can afford to do so.
Also i think women need to be a lil softer on this issue. I personally know 2 people, who, scared to ask their wives (brought up with western values) permission to marry again, decided to go behind their backs.
One of them actually asked his wifes permission, cuz he dint wanna hurt her by telling her afterwards. She threatened to take their 3 kids n go to her parents (they'd been married 5 years or so). But he was in a position where he had to marry the other, so he did. His wife found out n ran off. He convinced her to come back, but he says things jus aint the same cuz of her "stubborn western values" (his words, not mine).
The other one, had a mistress for many years, n no1 knew about it, his proper wife was from pakistan, freshly imported n all. N he had been here since his early teens maybe since he was 10 years old. He started seeing a woman on the side, his wife eventually found out obviously, n the news did kinda spread through sum1 else ( a friend of the guy, who had a loud mouth). The poor woman never let anyone know though. She tried to get him to stop, but eventually told him to marry his mistress to save him from further sin.
2 cases, good and bad on both sides.
Discuss/
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
Are you saying that if a man does not marry a second/third or fourth wife he’ll may get a mistress instead or may marry behind first wifes back?
Shouldnt self control and being content with what you have also play a part in this?
Okay strictly speaking it is allowed for men to marry more than one wife if he can afford to. Altho i doubt few women in this day and age will be willing to share their husbands with another woman. Well atleast those brought up in the west atleast.
IMO no matter how much he may want a piece of that estranged naan, its not the naan he wants but its the fact that its against the western acceptable norm to have a second naan when you're still chewing the first one. Simply put, all he really wants is something he already knows he cant have. Its not the naan itself but the forbidden fruit that interests him. Its the fact that its forbidden that excites him.
Now, would it kill the first naan to have a little salad dressing every now and then just to keep things fresh? I mean if its gonna be the same thing day in day out, can you blame him if he gets bored of it and desides to have a kebab on the side?
Back in BLACK
...And since, we're on the topic of food.
If you eat more than your stomach can handle. You won't be able to hack it and you'll end up vomiting. :?
lol
i think i went a lil overboard with the food analogy
Back in BLACK
razor i disagree with ur reasoning... muslimsis is right - women and men, married and unmarried, all have an equal responsibility to exercise self restraint. there's a reason we're ordered to 'lower [our] gaze'...
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Salam
Although it is a wrong point, based on incorrect Tradition.
Omrow
evidence?
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Salam
A Prophet of God does not forbid anything permitted by God.
No human being posseses that authority.
Omrow
That is not evidence.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
It is. Your evidence ?
[url=http://www.therevival.co.uk/index.php?p=104]Etiquette of Disagreement[/url]
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Micheal Jackson is not an Islamic authority. He can only moonwalk.
so basically you have been pwned in the discussion, so you thought why not make fun of the name?
That is ok by me. different people use different methods to admit intellectual defeat.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Salam
Dusty woman asked for evidence. I could have given her a long article to read. But I didn't.
I gave evidence based on simple reasoning which even a child can understand: That Prophets have no right to declares unlawful that which God has made lawful.
You disagreed with that obvious statement. Which means that you are claiming that Prophet CAN indeed do such a thing.
Now, when I asked YOU for some evidence for your belief, you give me a long article to read. Which does not provide any answer to my statement.
If you can't provide evidence, then simply say so. Rather than send people of wild goose chases, it is good to be honest and say that you dont have any evidence at the moment.
No shame in that.
Omrow
Im not gonna say you have made a mistake here, but what i am going to say is thatI have heard it differently, from Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, althogh i dunt remember what lecture it was in precisely.
I heard Shaykh Hamza Say that Hazrat Ali wanted to marry the Daughter of Abu Jahal, When the Prophet S.A.W heard about this, they said to some of their companions that it would be offensive to them S.A.W if his Daughter hadto share a house with the daughter of his enemy.
The sahaba then went and told Hazrat Ali r.a what the prophet said. For the respect of the prophet S.A.W, Hazrat Ali then didnt marry again until after the demise of Faatima R.A.
It is interesting that both the Prophet s.a.w and hazrat Ali r.a. didnt marry again until the demise of their 1st wifes respectively. But due note, that most of the sahaba did marry maximum of 4 wives while their 1st wife was alive. And I dunt think you will find in Shariah, or Hanafi Fiqh, or any fiqh for that matter anything saying u cant marry again if ya 1st wife is still alive.
Onto further dicussions, The reason we have many friends, and we keep company of many different people, is because we may get bored, infact we will get bored if there is only 2 people.
In the same way, for a person to feel unbored (cudnt think of a proper word) he might need another wife. That way, when he spends a few days with wife number 2, n then returns to wife number 1, he is more interested in her, and is actually listening to what she is saying. And he can be more appreciating of wife number 1 if he has been away from her for a while.
There is more wisdom in the permission to marry 4 wives then we think there is. There is a lot of good in it, but you keep making it seem like a bad thing nowadays.
_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________
Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight
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