How can you expect anyone to love you when you don’t even love yourself?
This question can be answered in hundreds of ways but the best way to answer is to remember your actual value.
To be valuable in someone's eye you have to struggle a lot either its job or home, to prove your worth, you have to put your best in it. But even before you do that there are different levels of self-esteem one needs to be aware of;
At an individual level (personal level)
Humans are changing the societies and hierarchies, and bringing down old traditions while new cultures keep rising. If a person is religious, like a Muslim, he might get over an edge easily, if he becomes the victim of society complex.
Not every person is made equal, each has a unique talent and characteristic that differentiates them from the other. like every Muslim is different from the other, each has its flaws and perfections at different matters of life. But how much they learn from it is what makes them worth it.
For example, a muslin going on a pilgrim for Umrah will make sure to ask forgiveness from everyone and especially from God as well, that is his way of redemption himself while on the other hand, a bitter person will remain bitter throughout his life even on hajj or either Umrah, he will return to his habits.
At Peer Level (society level)
Peer pressure or peer competition has increased in the past few years. Reason? The jealousy and greed are one of the main reasons but the idea of doing better than other just for boasting is what makes peer pressure more intense in our society. Even as Muslims, sometimes, we are unable not to pass any judgement on others because we believe to be on the self-righteous way.
Each society consists of such maniacs that can disturb the peace of an individual at personal or at group level as well. for example, a girl who has been doing hijab all her life is being criticized for wearing jeans and making her feel diabolical about her wardrobe choices, which will ultimately want her to take off the hijab.
Self-esteem is not magical, and will not appear out of the blue, it has to be nurtured and nourish with time accordingly.
Diagnosing the levels of self-esteem will let you discover new ways to improve your self-esteem in a much better way.
Self-Evaluation is Important
Have you ever performed a SWOT analysis on yourself? If not, then do find out your;
- Strengths: areas where you excel at.
- Weakness: areas that need development
- Opportunities: areas that are on the way of improvement
- Threats: what makes you fear to adapt a change / or improve yourself.
Self-evaluation is mandatory when you feel you are lacking something in your life. There's always space to learn new things and adapt yourself accordingly. Having a friend zone is helpful in such a case. With the right interaction and flexibility, you can learn new habits and polish yourself more appropriately if you are not resistant to the idea of change. Even in the Quran at many verses, it has been accomplished that accepting change is mandatory it cannot be ignored.
Accepting your flaws and positive points will help you evaluate yourself easily.
Developing a Uniform Psychology
There are times when it seems you are falling into a pit, nothing can lighten up your mood, in such terms having a strong faith is what helps you get through the way.
Islam truly optimistically guides you, strives for the ways that will help you learn from your mistakes and provide solutions to your problems as well. being a Muslim teaches you to be humbler and open your hearts for forgiving others misdoings as well. When a Muslims travels for Hajj at the end of the Islamic year, he is asking for forgiveness, he believes this chance is given to him by God, so being a morale human why not give a chance to other people as well?
Develop a Positive Attitude
It’s really easy to get mistrack due to hardship one has to face. Sometimes hardships come in form of financial matters, sickness, being barren and even happy times can be a way of testing as well.
Indulge yourself in activities that will create positive energy around you. Being punctual in your prayers, and doing the right deeds will help gain self-confidence and broaden your vision of life as well. like if you recite Quran (with translation) every day, you will learn a new perspective from the translation and implement the knowledge in day to day chores.
When a Muslim decides to visit Makkah and Madinah on the spiritual journey to Umrah and Hajj he is opening a new path for himself. He is learning to be patient and humble while living with the simplest needs of life (for the time).
Often, modesty and simplicity are mistaken for lack of money or lack of standard of living. Although it shouldn't be the case. Practising simplicity is a personal choice of every human doesn't matter either you are rich or poor. But we have a bad habit of criticizing people for their appearance.
Another important aspect of personal grooming is to be with mind alike people. Mingling with those who are a mirror image of your reflection is a perfect way to develop positivity in your life. As they say, a person is known by the company he keeps, likewise, it is supposed to have a due impact on you as well.
Self-evaluate your company as well by their activities and their body language (you will be surprised how much you find out) and not to forget that a wise person always keeps a small group of friends rather than a large one with fake attributes.