Unseen Friend

It's time for another rap, feels like years since the last one, but the new one is called "Unseen Friend". Read it and tell me what you think!

Smelling the breaze of the sapphire sky
Smiling my joy to the setting sun
This moment I cherish as a high
But not all have been like this one
Sometimes I was chained by the lows and grief
Never thought I could turn another leaf
Exhausted I was with no hope to breathe
But the answers lay close beneath

Though I can't see you
I know you're always there
Saved me from darkness, from the jaws of despair
You're someone I can trust
Someone I can turn to
Compassionate and Just
Giver of Peace, beyond the end
You're my Unseen Friend

Smelling the breaze of the sapphire sky
Smiling my joy to the setting sun
This moment I cherish as a high
But not all have been like this one
Sometimes I was chained by the lows and grief
Never thought I could turn another leaf
Exhausted I was with no hope to breathe
But the answers lay close beneath

Though I can't see you
I know you're always there
Saved me from darkness, from the jaws of despair
You're someone I can trust
Someone I can turn to
Compassionate and Just
Giver of Peace, beyond the end
You're my Unseen Friend

Comments

NOt bad, not bad at all. But it isn't finished! It needs at least 2 verses, yet you've only written one. And even that verse isn't long enough - it's only 8 bars and it should be 16. Every rapper writes 16 bar raps, Muslims shouldn't be any different! Biggrin

Don't just do something! Stand there.

Yeah thanks guys.
Yaqub, mate the reason why I've made this short is because the others that I've written are longer, so a little variety doesn't hurt.

“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”

Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi

Love Biggrin

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

+1000000!! i love it!!

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

I wish it was longer though.

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi