I know men are supposed to be decent to women and all that but 'legally' (Islamically) do they have the right to control women? Be it their daughters, sisters, wives?
User login
Author Information
Poll
Why have you visited this website?
To check for updates
11%
Read posts
39%
Contribute to discussions
6%
Share content
3%
Social media brought me here
6%
Tis fate
35%
Total votes: 632
Active forum topics
Recent blog posts
Upcoming Events
- 5 May 2024 - 11:00 to 16:30
Quick Links
Who's online
There are currently 0 users online.
Yes because they are responsible for there up keeping from what I understand
My English is not very good
Are you a man?
Yes
My English is not very good
Men only have one degree higher than women; other than that they do not have the right to control women... IMO
Could you provide Quranic/ahadith evidence to back up your point...no seriously, I don't mean to be annoying, I'm genuinely asking. I know *culturally* that it is how it is; if the man says something then you abide by it and that's that. That's just a general conservative attitude anyway. But Islamically do women HAVE to listen to men and always ask them for permission etc?
Just cuz they are responsible for the upkeeping, it doesn't mean they have to be in control of their every move, does it?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
one degree higher in what? and if they are one degree higher does that not mean that they would be in control?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
One degree higher in terms of strength..ext. And no it don't mean they would be in control more.. depends on the basis of it really. Men and Women are considered as equal, also women are much more respected in today's society, so they must be equal apart from that one tiny difference.
Doesn't matter about 'this' society though.
Men and women aren't actually 'equal'
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Equal as in what? Work, looks? A women has as much rights as a man in Islam!
Men and women have different roles and responsibilities therefore being 'equal' doesn't mean men can't have an authoritative role.
But I don't know if they do, that is what I'm asking about.
Yes, I know you said you think they don't, but you were saying it in terms of both being equal, which isn't true...plus no Quranic/hadith evidence which I was looking for.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
I know.. I tried! I will InshAllah gather some evidence because it is pretty interesting, otherwise.. as long as the couple are happy.. it don't matter who controls who..
Saalam
x
I'm not just talking about in a husband-wives relationship, btw
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
I'm suggesting a couple as an example lol but generally having more control?! But yeah, its good to hear other people's responses about this though...
They don't have any degree higher than women.
The verse which mentions that ist alking about divorce and it means that during separation, until the divorce is finalised, the man still has the responsibility to provide for his soon to be ex wife.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
The Quran does say that "Men have a degree of advantage over women."
They are supposed to be the bread winners and providers. Now if a man asks a woman to do something, normally she should, so long as it isn't haram, unIslamic or unreasonable. If it is then she can get a divorce.
He is obliged to ask her opinion and be considerate and treat her decently.
But that's different from being "controlling".
“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”
Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi
Oh.
a) It seems like controlling to me :/ :s
b) What do you say to non-Muslims who see this a sign of women being inferior in Islam?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Its true. As long as its not against Islam - women are required to obey their husbands.
Thanks for the simple reply MS. I had always heard that but only started thinking anything of it now, mainly because it's being used by some non-Muslims to 'prove' women are inferior to men in Islam. How would you (or rather Islam) respond to this? Cuz I'm not sure how to...
And is this in accordance to the degree higher thing or some other verse/sunnah?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
you are missing the context of the original part-verse. it is to do with alimony.
[qs:2:228]
Read the above and you can clearly see that it is talking about divorce and rights during the divorce period.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
With a spoon? Oh come Ocean, lets be a bit more original here.
Which bit in particular? If she has the right to divorce him if he is being unreasonable then that pretty much is a big fabour to the women.
Which bit would non-Muslims have a problem with? The "degree of advantage" bit? Well the fact that men are physically stronger than women (virtually) is a fact of life. That's the advantage. I don't see the fact that men have to provide, be responsible, take some leadership and be restrained by many things (including the women's certain wishes, feelings and rights) is saying that women are inferior. Rather it means that men, are not superior demi-gods, who can do what the hell they like.
Does that help?
“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”
Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi
or you can actually read what I have wrote above.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Stupid question, quite obvious!!
No I think there is another verse that talks about giving one a degree of advantage over another. I was referring to that.
“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”
Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi
I would like to see it.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
you said ur not talking about a man and a woman in a relationship, but just in any case?
Can you put it into context? I know MS said that a wife has to obey her husband, but its vice versa too isnt it? How would a man control a woman though?
"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"
not only such a relationship.
Fathers/Brothers too..
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
its not controlling, thats a term secular societies use in their ideological warfare against islam, we should reject the term, Allah never used the word control did he?. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women. Allah has given them that job, so that women can concentrate on pleasing their husband, raising the children and keeping the household in order. Women can but do not have to work, but men must financially provide for them.
To a non muslim of no religion i assume? You should say it's a matter of mutual respect. Women and men in islam have clearly defined roles. We are equal in the eyes of God, but we are not equal biologically and as far as traits go. We work together respect each other compliment each other. God has said men are the maintainers and protectors of women, so they have to fulfill that duty. So if a muslim man asks his wife kindly not to go out after isha because its dark and he fears for her safety, and he knows not much good happens outside at night she should understand his reasoning and obey respectfully. What would happen if it was a non muslim woman who was very hot headed she would say " im a big girl i can take care of myself i'm going to see my mates" To me that shows a lack of respect in the relationship. Why should it be viewed as controlling? It's all about "roles". In western societies the roles have blurred and created a lot of problems, i/e breakdown of family structure.
You should ask non muslim friends what their duties are their commitment to their spouses. If they don't have any why not, shouldn't you share duties and show commitment if you're in a marriage or loving relationship? Why is it deemed control if the husband asks the wife to do something reasonable? Women in islam also have rights if the husband is making absurd requests or putting her under undue hardship he will have to answer for it.
I've been married erm 6 odd years and only once did he tell me to keep at a distance from a certain female relation. I didn't argue with him i couldn't because i knew she was mistreating me, and i being the fool i was just continued to let her. If that is controlling then so be it, i would say he was advising me, and its his duty to do that. But likewise i can advise him if necessary.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]
you mentioned fathers controlling women i/e their daughters. They should treat them in the same manner as their sons. They are the leaders in the house. I think its about respecting the rules and moral codes your parents give you. Whether that be the father or mother, its not about controlling. Regardless of religion all good parents will have rules they expect to be obeyed does that make them controlling tyrants, i don't think so.
Now i could be wrong but as far as i am aware brothers as long as their parents are alive and capable have no right to act like the big boss. They can advise their sisters thats their islamic right. But they don't have a legal right as long as parents are able bodied to rule the roost.
I think brothers who behave like that usually do so because of cultural attitudes which regard women as inferior. It doesn't help that parents either turn a blind eye to their behaviour or they instill and reinforce it. Boy was i lucky 5 brothers and they didn't seem to care where i was. It came to a point where i thought it would be nice if they asked where are you going?But i'm grateful i wasn't followed. spied upon or chaperoned as 2 of my friends were.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]
Pages