The Drugs Don't Work. They probably don't make it worse but that's little comfort. My Mum always had cupboards stacked with small bottles of homoeopathic remedies, I've forgotten much but I was a precocious little expert. Infected cut or blister? Try Thuja. Sore bruises? Here, Arnica. Sinuses blocked? Aconite and Silicea. But by my late teens homoeopathy had been thoroughly enough debunked, to my intense disappointment, that for all my mother's love I could no longer really believe it had merit. Herbal remedies though, they should work a treat, surely, having been observed to work on countless generations of Sioux or Aboriginals or merry English or whatever. Apparently not though. The Echinacea and vitamin-C don't do anything. This is terribly upsetting, my childhood impression of medicine was that folk remedies were the infinitely better option and that homoeopathically stimulating and naturally supplementing the body's defences was far better than using antibiotics to replace them. Well, in many cases a placebo is far preferable, but it's no good exposing the stuff. Possibly (well, inevitably) this information comes from a vested interest, maybe tomorrow I'll get an email recommending Viagra and Nigerian spam for common colds. I mean, even the company that has discovered chocolate will cure a cough (cough) doesn't want you taking matters into your own hands, taking unnecessary risks with tasty bars of God-knows-what. Cocoa is bitter, and if you aren't a medical expert surely belongs in gelatin capsules.

Prof Morice said that while it was "theoretically possible" to get enough theobromine in a bar of dark chocolate to alleviate a cough, studies had yet to be done to reveal the exact dose required.

Way cool!