Hundreds of women who came to the UK from South Asia to marry say they have been treated as domestic slaves by their in-laws, the BBC has learned.
More than 500 who applied for residence in 2008-09 after their marriages broke down were deported because they could not prove any abuse had taken place.
Police and charities are concerned the incidents are not reported because of family pressure and fear of reprisals.
The UK Border Agency said measures were in place to try to prevent such abuse.
Read more @ BBC News
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While I think the article does cover some ground, I don't think it goes far enough.
It is sexist to assume it only happens to women married from abroad. It also happens to the guys.
and such behaviour should not be tolerated. But it is.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Happens to some Sikh wives too.
Difficult to know sometimes when repulsive culture starts and religion ends.
I would say it is not even culture - it is not like they wamt people to know. The issue is more an imbalance of power. If you have a situation where someone has disproportionate power over another (without oversight -be it comunal/family or legal), it is inevitable that someone will try to abuse it. Maybe even human nature?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
But isn't that disproportionate gender power a feature of any form of Islam?
This is not just a gender issue unlike the the suggestion in the article (and maybe many feminist sources). It is just easier to beat that drumbeat - lazy journalism.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I don't think so.
Do you mind creating a topic on this?
Use that as the title and then add what you mean to the topic and I will get to it later on.
It is an interesting topic and I think we will disagree to an extent, but it would be to see everyones views on this.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
what do you mean You it happens to guys?
i mean i know girls from here who have been pushed into marrying guys from abroad on say so of parents. But i also know girls who consented only because they knew they would have an easy life with a guy from abroad. He would be under her leash. He would only get permit to stay, roof over his head on her say so. His pay checks would all go to her or her parents. He would have to live with his in laws, like it or lump it. Worse to marry this girl he would have to spend thousands, like he was purchasing the woman not merely marrying her.
i can think of 2 sisters who have recently done this. they seemed so nice, but i thght something had to give. now they are living with parents, even though one claimed she had her own house husband could moved into after marriage. poor guy has to give all earning to his in laws. how disgusting is that? is there anything these men can do, without being kicked out the country?
also not a case of just women from abroad. its common place for girls born and raised in uk to be treated like a slave too, and house-bound. i have a friend who is going through this. i have urged her many a times, but nothing seems to get through. she wants to keep her husband, yet he does not make a stand for her. he says whatever my mother says you must do, it is expected of you, you are my wife. He even said even if my mother is wrong you must obey her.
i feel so bad whenever i speak with her, but same time she does not wish to do anything proactive. when she has tried her sis in laws have come down on her like a ton of bricks. her self esteem is so low she was the most confident of my friends i dont know how to help her. Her mother in law goes with her everywhere. if she wants to spend time alone shopping she has to lie she has some medical appointment or something. Shes made a friend but also sees her on pretence of an appointment, otherwise mother in law will accompany her. of course she does all domestics, sis in laws some of them about her age but they live like theyre in a hotel, because frankly thats how a lot of asian parents raise their kids, to see the brothers wife as a servant.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]
Your first two paragraphs cover what I mean.
I have even heard of a case where the guy eventually tried to hang himself.
But such things are less sensational that "women, they are being oppressed!"
The problem with keeping people housebound is that ... they try to play it off as religion when it rarely/never is.
If they do not want someone as a spouse etc, do not like the character, they have a right of refusal to marry. It is stupid to try to enforce a change of personality upon an individual after marriage. Cruel even.
Your other friend... one thing I do not understand is if she is from the UK... klnows her rights, why does she not get out?
People need to be taught that such things are not allowed and should be punished for it.
I used to think this was a generational problem - because thelast generation had to migrate, they were at times "dislodged" so things would get better, but I think some ideas are jumping generations when they should not be.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
she doesnt want to shame family. yes very old fashioned idea, but she seems to be hanging on that. i cant understand it myself.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]
well, I guess it all depends on what people were brought up to respect and thena fter that the low confidence and maybe not seeing an option play a part too.
Tragic.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Shame and honour seem more to be culturally driven rather than religiously driven I think?
A related problem I heard about is a Muslim girl in London who went to my friend (the girl's teacher) to report that she had been raped by a group of Muslim boys. This happened a couple of times, but she is refusing to allow the police to involve themselves as if her family heard that she had been raped she is convinced that her family would kill her.
This is probably also one of the reasons for low rape figures for Muslim countries. Most rapes are by family members, and the girl and her family wouldn't want it to become public, especially given the Sharia concept of something sinful only being a crime if it becomes known to the community.
Absolutely dispicable.
Does she have any reason for the fear that her family will treat her like that? I seriously doubt that will happen, but then again, I am not a member of each and every community so I doubt I can speak or know of how they act.
Well, it is not possible to punish for something without someone knowing (so atleast providing witnesses or testimony to the judge/jury/whatever the criminal system requires). If things are not in the open, they are still a crime but they avoid criminal punishment.
The only alternative is mob rule where people meet out their own justice without resorting to rule of law.
I can see how that can look good, but that is exactly what the suicide bombers are doing.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Yes.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
yeah her family prob would kill her. but again i think its cultural mindset rather than religious. Although some parents make religion their twisted reasoning.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]