Does Personality come under Respect?

Culinary skills

Does Faith= Taqwa?

I would say most Important is if you 'click'?
You can get someone who is extremely pious, but dry!!

what of intelligence and personality surely that is high up there. i would not go for proposal just based on faith or looks or even career. i mean if upstairs is not answering any calls then what of beauty or faith, you'd be miserable with such a person.

who voted for what and why?

Beauty and faith both matter so i cant vote as to either one.

The most important thing is compatibility and personality..

compatibility then faith (and it's usually ones character that dictates compatibility and its ones faith that shapes their character)

This doesnt mean that the rest of them arent important- I don't think many people would send a proposal if they didnt find the prospective partner attractive and/or in employment/education etc.

However, on a daily basis, it's their charcater that you have to live in, you can be married the the richest of the most beautiful person in the world - but that won't matter if they don't know how to respect their elders or are not hospitable to guests.

I chose my husband on account of our compatibility and this faith - it's just a bonus that he has everything else...to me that just confirms the hadith where the Prophet said "choose your partner for their deen - and you will prosper" (I've paraphrased).

Also, love has no guarentee...IMO one should focus on things that last...

You wrote:

I voted for beauty/looks.

While that is not the right answer to this question, it is to the one I intended to ask which was more what is the *first thing*. Yes, beauty fades, but if you do not see any, will you bother to look at the other issues such as faith, respect or anything else that you think is important?

The girl has to be a Shia muslims although Sunni muslims are also allowed,
and if they are not available then Jews and Christians can be married as well.
Hindu girls worship idols and they bow to statues, so they are out, God says we can't marry them.

More about Shia ways to find a wife in my blog: http://www.therevival.co.uk/blogs/malik

For me, the first thing to see in a girl is her faith, i wanna check if she loves God, Prophet (pbuh) and those 12 Imams whom God has appointed. If yes, then she would be good enough to marry; beauty is secondary consideration. Other things like wealth or family or race, or colour, or ethnicity or whatever etc are not important. Its the heart of a wife that matters. How clean it is. If it has been dirtied by Satan, then she would not be a good loving wife. She would be devil in the house.

You wrote:

For those that did NOT vote beauty, where do you stand on this?

Sometimes a person might not be great looking but after you notice things about their personality or faith, they grow on you.

You wrote:

like mould?

yes, it is something that can be overlooked etc, but I think the vote of only 17% choosing beauty on here seems a little low. Either that or I am way more... shallow than most.

Okay, you have probably written your answer somewhere up there already.

But why does 'Beauty' matter to you most again?

Salam

Deciding on whom to marry?

I voted RESPECT. [If she is not respectable, then there will be no love]

To me its more important that faith of a wife.

Physical beauty is number 2. [For obvious reasons mingers are out.]

Education is number 5. [She can always go back to college as a wife and learn knowledge]

Dont ask me number 4. [Its a secret. Some things has to remain between the two hearts ]

Money is not even on the list. [Real men dont live off women's earnings. Its shameful]

Family criminal record is number 3. [Dont want to establish links to Mafia]

Omrow

p.s. - error kindly corrected by s.b.f.

Omrow wrote:

I voted RESPECT.

To me its more important that faith of a wife.

Physical beauty is number 2.

Education is number 5. [She can go back to collage as a wife]

Money is not even on the list. [ Real men dont live off women's earnings]

Family criminal record is number 3. [Dont want to establish links to Mafia]

I like this list!

Surely if the wife had faith she would respect you too? So why does Faith not come first?

So her family and reputation matter also? Didn't think about that.

Oh and Omrow since you are into editing your posts 50 million times into perfection...you spelt 'collage' wrong. I think it's college.

s.b.f wrote:

Surely if the wife had faith she would respect you too? So why does Faith not come first?

When I put respect first, it is not her respect for me. It is my respect for her.[*]

She will only respet me once she lives with me and gets to know
me as to what kind of a husband I am.[**]

But I dont need to live with her to know if she is respectable or not.

Even the blind can see the difference between the whore and the angel.

Quote:

Oh and Omrow since you are into editing your posts 50 million times into perfection...you spelt 'collage' wrong. I think it's college.

Thanks.

P.S.

You said "Oh and Omrow..."; thats acceptable.
But even better would be, to say it this way: "And, O Omrow,..."

Just a cosmetic suggestion.

-------------

[*] Girls who think they KNOW the boy before marriage often end up in misery and life ruined.

[**] Men are only known after marriage. In the second or third year their true colours come out towards the wife.

Omrow wrote:

But I dont need to live with her to know if she is respectable or not.

Even the blind can see the difference between the whore and the angel.

really? how? what if they're really good at covering up their bad character traits?
are u just that great of a detective?

Omrow wrote:

s.b.f wrote:

Surely if the wife had faith she would respect you too? So why does Faith not come first?

When I put respect first, it is not her respect for me. It is my respect for her.

She will only respet me once she gets to know me what kind of husband I am.

But I dont need to live with her to know if she is respectable or not.

Even the blind can see the difference between the whore and the angel.

Is that assuming that you are getting an arranged marriage?

Can you establish the level of respect before you are married to her?

Omrow wrote:

s.b.f wrote:

Oh and Omrow since you are into editing your posts 50 million times into perfection...you spelt 'collage' wrong. I think it's college.

Thanks.

P.S.

You said "Oh and Omrow..."; thats acceptable.
But even better would be, to say it this way: "And, O Omrow,..."

Lol, yeah right.

s.b.f wrote:

Omrow wrote:

Thanks.

P.S.

You said "Oh and Omrow..."; thats acceptable.
But even better would be, to say it this way: "And, O Omrow,..."

Lol, yeah right.

LOL

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

what if they're really good at covering up their bad character traits?

Yes, but for no more than 28 days.

Thats only 4 weeks in which girls can hide themselves.

Thats its all in the open.

Omrow wrote:

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

what if they're really good at covering up their bad character traits?

Yes, but for no more than 28 days.

Thats only 4 weeks in which girls can hide themselves.

Thats its all in the open.

Huh?! why only a month? :S

Omrow wrote:

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

what if they're really good at covering up their bad character traits?

Yes, but for no more than 28 days.

Thats only 4 weeks in which girls can hide themselves.

Thats its all in the open.

Are you sure about that?

s.b.f wrote:

Can you establish the level of respect before you are married to her?

You dont establish respect. Either a girl is respectable, or she is not.

That characteristic is of prime importance for me.

Baygairat larki is out no matter how pretty and how famous and how educated.

Omrow wrote:

s.b.f wrote:

Can you establish the level of respect before you are married to her?

Baygairat larki

What does that mean?

One who has no concept for her own womanhood.