As'salaamu 'alaykum,
Mukhlid ibn al-Husain (ra) once said,
'We are more in need of acquiring adab than learning Hadith'
Having adab encompases all the good traits and character that we, as muslims, must develop and kindle within ourselves and within our lives. Everything from eating, to greeting and interacting with others.
So, we are asked not to be undeservedly harsh with others, and develop a character of mercy and kindness. Should we always use a gentle approach? But when is a soft approach required with others? When is (or should) a hard approach required? Do not some situations require you to be hard? Is being hard on others indicative of (our) lack of adab?
Should we be strict with children? Is being strict with a child lacking in adab? But how can we develop good behaviour in children? Will lack of boundries not turn them into spoilt brats? Will placing boundries not cause them to rebell? Can we be cruel to be kind?
I wrote a long response to this, but it got deleted. I think it was Allah's (swt) way of saying I was chatting rubbish!
So I'll stay quiet for now.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Do everything in moderation. It all depends on the particualr sitaution. The constructive approach is preferred on most issues, but if you HAVE to be harsh and it is the lesser evil then maybe it is justified. As with kids, have some rules and try to get the kids' consensus, but don't grab the other end of the stick and be totally harsh on them, otherwise they will learn to be rebellious and you may eventually lose them, in the worst case scenario.
“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”
Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi
i agree with the lamp, u need to know ur noundaries wen it comes to children. you cant be too nice otherwise they will turn out to be bratty and later on in life it wont help them. they will think they can do watever they want etc.
i think u can and should be cruel to be kind!- when needed
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Define cruel.
“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”
Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi