"Angel" wrote:

Are you the type of friend that has to meet up your mates everyday or atleast speak to them everyday?
Or are you the type of mate who likes to use your friends just for college/uni etc?
Or are you the type of friend who loves your mates but just have bad communication? (ie too lazy to call? :oops: guilty!)

Also how do you deal with new friends, how trusting are you?

Lastly how do you tell someone to give you a breather when they are texting/calling you everyday, what's the nicest way to say back off?

i have different friends all over teh place, school friends, outside school friends and home friends! so i tend to meet different people at different places.

as for calling them i can pretty much live without them ringing me evryday or me ringing them i only ring then if i havnt spoken them in a very long time or it regarding sm wrk.

as with new friends , i dnt immedialty start telling them evrything. in trusting them i dnt reli, i guess the trust gradually starts to grow alongside teh friendship.

if they on my back too much i wud mst likey just to say that i am bit stresssed at the moment i just need sm time alone to be honest that doesnt reli occur at all to me as i am evreyone friend i tend to be everywer i dnt reli stick to one certain group of people.

good topic tho

"Angel" wrote:

Lastly how do you tell someone to give you a breather when they are texting/calling you everyday, what's the nicest way to say back off?

sometimes its hard to realise what the other party is going through..even if yall are friends, at the end of the day u have ur problems and feelings and they have theirs. Maybe this friend just needs an outlet, needs someone to communicate with, needs to feel someone is there. OK so they be annoying if the txts are too much etc, but patience...if you are there for them, without probing too muc hand just letting them come to you, trust me they will be there for you inshallah.

From my experience though, its hard when you make yourself the listener to then outpour your own emotions to others if you know what i mean. The trust is there, but the confidence after having heard so much of their problems to relate and ask for advice for your is difficult...

Khayr...We are a reflection of our friends. There are countless hadith and saying of the Beloved Rasool which narrate so too.

May Allah make us the best of friends and companions to each other.

Always hang with a good crowd and good friends and make your relationship for the cause of Allah alone...for in the end on the day of Judgement it will be these friends we will be standing with and these who if reaching Jannah will look for us and call our name...

"Angel" wrote:

Lastly how do you tell someone to give you a breather when they are texting/calling you everyday, what's the nicest way to say back off?

Just don't answer the phone. This means either having your phone on silent, or have a nice soothing non obtrusive ringtone. Otherwise you have to cut the person off. It's better IMO to just not answer.

Ask 'Ed. I never answer his calls. :twisted:

If I want to talk to him I'll call him. If he wants to talk to me he can email me and if I feel gracious enough I'll give him a call back.

"Angel" wrote:

Or are you the type of friend who loves your mates but just have bad communication? (ie too lazy to call? :oops: guilty!)

That's me, and erm instead of being too lazy to call, I think it's that I don't wanna waste my credit :twisted:

"Angel" wrote:

Lastly how do you tell someone to give you a breather when they are texting/calling you everyday, what's the nicest way to say back off?

I've got a mate who used to call me every single day and basically I didn't answer his calls. And if they text you, don't text back. You can make up an excuse later :twisted:

I've got a function on my phone, so if someone annoying is calling me I just press a button on my phone which stops the ringtone and stops the phone from vibrating but doesn't cut them off

I can also "block" the person who is annoying me, so I set his number to silent which means whenever the annoying person calls me, my phone will stay silent. But anyone other than him, the phone will start ringing and vibrating.

PS. admin you're so mean to poor old 'Ed.....but I like it

"Angel" wrote:

Are you the type of friend that has to meet up your mates everyday or atleast speak to them everyday?

Nope, if i was to do that, i would get sick and bored of the person.

"Angel" wrote:

Or are you the type of mate who likes to use your friends just for college/uni etc?

Nope, never! Thats just being snidey and being evil!

"Angel" wrote:

Or are you the type of friend who loves your mates but just have bad communication? (ie too lazy to call? :oops: guilty!)

Depends on which friend it is but thanks to Msn Messenger i don't need to bother with the phone calling, every1 is always online! and it saves me alot of credit too!

"Angel" wrote:

Also how do you deal with new friends, how trusting are you?

Well i've just gone to coll as a loner, leaving all my best buddies and pals behind at skool Miss them So MUCH, but Allahmdulliah i have met some really nice girls in my class, who i am now good friends with
I am a trustworthy person, if some1 tells me somthing private or if they dont want there personal matters being reveald to otherz, i'll keep it to myself.

"Angel" wrote:

Lastly how do you tell someone to give you a breather when they are texting/calling you everyday, what's the nicest way to say back off?

I simply tell them straight even thou it may involve being nasty or sounding b.itchy. From my friends i am known to be the honest one, so whenever they want the truth telling they come to me and i tell them how it is regardless if it hurts their feelings. Oviosuly i break it to them gently, slowly slowly make the picture clear to them and they get the message LOUD AND CLEAR!!

Simple!

"Angel" wrote:

Lastly how do you tell someone to give you a breather when they are texting/calling you everyday, what's the nicest way to say back off?

Just tell them the following:

"You know I was thinking... we're like sisters (brother and sister, whatever), and i just wanted to tell you that I love you. I want to spend more time with you and get to know you - i mean really get to know you - i want to know all your secrets and what you are thinking, i dont just want to be friends i want to be family. let me into your circle of trust and hold my hand while we explore our deeper, more open, more intimate sisterly loving relationship."

They'll never call you again.

I think I'm a terrible friend. Most of my relationships are predicated on absurd dares and never ending one-upsmanship. I'm ultra competitive and hyper virile with my friends.

It's super.

lol I have this one friend in particular - who my wife hates - that is exactly the same way, so I get into my worst trouble with him usually.

[color=magenta]lolz nice topic angel!!!theres one friend i have to call/talk to every single day n it nevers gets boring even if it meant i saw her in college. i remember one time we were meant to be meet up n we were just talking on the phone until we actually physically met. i love all my friends each for their own special qualities as for newcomers i am intially very welcoming n trusting but once they lose that trust it is hard to gain it back.but i wouldnt blank them others it is difficult to talk to them on the fone but face to face it is good but i lvoe talking on the phone with my freinds.but my friends knw im there for them if they need me but knw i wont cover for them if they are participating in unislamic activities.we also have a relationship that if we offended or hurt the other then we shud just tell them n we wont take it to heart[/color]

Good topic angel.

I’m a pretty rubbish mate. I wouldn’t want to be my friend.

I’m lazy with calling and texting, I rarely return calls (unless I know they’re important)….and can be very, very private.

But at the same time, I’ve always found it very, very easy to make new friends, and have LOADS of friends.

I know many people who I was so tight with in school and when I was doing my degree….and I haven’t kept in contact with any of them, even though they’ve tried to keep in touch with me. :oops:

I have quite a few friends. But I have 2 very close friends who are like family.

Im the kind of friend who'll be there for pretty much anything. We have this rule where we pretty much say whats on our mind and be real about it. We dont call or text each other everyday... its more like every other day when i call them or meet up like twice a week. As we do all realise that the other has a life and work outside the group.

I do have other friends who ive met thru work or uni/col, but our contact is usually limited to uni/col. I tend to be a pretty good judge of character and know how much or how little i can trust them. If i feel i cant trust them i limit our interaction. Switch my phone on silent or something when they call. lol i actually said to one of them when he asked me where i lived? I said i couldnt tell him bcoz i didnt trust him. He laughed and thought i was joking... but i think he caught on later that i wasnt.

Whenever i went to a new place like work/college/uni ive always made friends (i tend to avoid the ones who are gonna be too clingy or want me to do their work for them). Its just a matter of reaching out to people who you think you may have common grounds with.

Its rare when im avoiding someone but in the odd case ive not really wanted to speak to someone i just switch my phone either on silent or switch it off. But if it was like im too busy to speak or deal with them id just tell them that im busy with watever (and if they're a good friend they'll leave you to it).

I think its a sign of a good friend IMO when they know what you're needs are and know when to place them before they're own. When to say something and when to shut up and listen.

[color=magenta]i got this girl who recently hanging around me n im feeling abt suffocated she is the most nicest girls i knw but i just need some time n space away from her she follows me around everywhere even the toilet i dont knw how i shud say it to her i feel as though il upset her[/color]

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]i got this girl who recently hanging around me n im feeling abt suffocated she is the most nicest girls i knw but i just need some time n space away from her she follows me around everywhere even the toilet i dont knw how i shud say it to her i feel as though il upset her[/color]

aww bless Exquisite ur bless with a good friend know if u ask me u dnt get many girls like theses she might be a little bit suffocating u bt u miss her very much one day

[color=magenta]i knw i knw i do appreciate her but when someone is in ur face all the time it gets abit too much[/color]

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]i knw i knw i do appreciate her but when someone is in ur face all the time it gets abit too much[/color]

Patience. You must learn patience.

In time she will seek her own independance... and seek it she will.

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]i knw i knw i do appreciate her but when someone is in ur face all the time it gets abit too much[/color]

Exquisite u must stop sending out too much of ur good vibes , she oviosuly attracted to them
see hw next week goes she might cool off a bit

[color=magenta]lolz you sound like my psychology teacher n she is weird, i knw bt it is really overbearing i love her to bits n she is so nice if she fell in with the wrong crowd then ppl will tke advantage of her i often have to physically run away from her when it gets too much[/color]

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]i knw i knw i do appreciate her but when someone is in ur face all the time it gets abit too much[/color]

LOL

that just reminded me of sumthing which happnd in skool. One of my frendzz was in my face 24/7, i dropped so many hints, but she wudnt back off, so i shouted at her and she started crying and locked herself in the toilet.!

[color=magenta]thats what i want to avoid noori, but im lucky we are a big group so every1 experiences it[/color]

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]thats what i want to avoid noori, but im lucky we are a big group so every1 experiences it[/color]

All in good time sis..

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]lolz you sound like my psychology teacher n she is weird,[/color]

weird
thanx Exquisite,

"geniesis" wrote:

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]i knw i knw i do appreciate her but when someone is in ur face all the time it gets abit too much[/color]

Exquisite u must stop sending out too much of ur good vibes , she oviosuly attracted to them
see hw next week goes she might cool off a bit

[color=magenta]lolz its been going on for almost a year[/color]

"Exquisite" wrote:

"geniesis" wrote:

"Exquisite" wrote:

[color=magenta]i knw i knw i do appreciate her but when someone is in ur face all the time it gets abit too much[/color]

Exquisite u must stop sending out too much of ur good vibes , she oviosuly attracted to them
see hw next week goes she might cool off a bit

[color=magenta]lolz its been going on for almost a year[/color]

u survied that long u deserve a medal i wud't be able to do that i'll would have had to have confronted her

[color=magenta]nah im gna leave her as brother seraphim said sabr but i she gets too much il do a disapperaing act,[/color]

'm a good mate

but i aint a social butterfly-i'm happier spedning my free time with my sisters and cousins