Which One Do YOU Prefer

Love
14% (5 votes)
Love
14% (5 votes)
Arranged
14% (5 votes)
Arranged
14% (5 votes)
NEITHER!
22% (8 votes)
NEITHER!
22% (8 votes)
Total votes: 36

The most rinsed out topic in the history of topics.

Simple question, that requires a simple answer

which ones works? Which one do u prefer? Which one do u see yourself having?

This is one topic that ALWAYS comes up when sitting with a group of girls in college

I dont kno if guys talk about this too

Discuss

(Persoanlly I have SERIOUS issues with both type of marriages)

I personally dont think it matters which you have as long as both parties are happy and you go bout it in right manner..

People have this confusion with forced and arranged marriage i was havin a convo with this white gal (i hate usin that term sounds a bit racist?) and i had 2 explain to her that forced and arrange weren't the same thing and that islam didnt agree with forced marriages..ppl just need a bit of education on this aspect

problem with "SOME" arranged marriage is that there is an element of force

somtimes in the form of emotional blackmail

buts its true that people get confused over the diff

I've always thought that living in this country force can never take place (unless its emotional blcakmail)

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:
problem with "SOME" arranged marriage is that there is an element of force

somtimes in the form of emotional blackmail

buts its true that people get confused over the diff

I've always thought that living in this country force can never take place (unless its emotional blcakmail)

if its emotional blackmail then it wouldnt be seen as an agreement of 100% from the person being blackmailed into it, so that would just be force..what i meant was when it is arranged correctly and both male and female are happy about it without any sort of interference from other views

It depend on how you define Love marriage. Is it the type we see on Bollywood films, if so it go aginst Islam, and too start off on such a bad footing, it isn't good. But today I see the term Love marriage used for people who get married from options outside the family,nothing wrong with that and that is fully acceptable if it in line with islam. Arrange Marriage is ok as well, as long as it has the blessing of the two people involve. Too be honest with both situation there alot of little things that would make it acceptable or not. But as long as they follow a islamic theme, there shouldn't really be a big deal made of both.

"A true Muslim is thankful to Allah in prosperity, and resigned to His will in adversity."

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i would have an arranged marriage

my understanding of arranged marriage: parents ask son/daughter what sort of a person they want 2 marry or if they already have som1 in mind then they inform their son/daughter about that person.

if the son/daughter agrees 2 want 2 know more about the person then the 2 families meet..where the boy n girl have a chance 2 see each other and maybe talk..this can happen a couple of times if the 1st time is a success! and then if both parties are happy....problem solved!!!! Biggrin

thats my understanding of an arranged marriage...no element of force in it+my parents agree thank god lol

i trust my parents 2 make a suitable choice anyway...they know what im like+what sorta person id get on with

I'm definately going to have a love marriage.

But this don't mean that I'm going to have an illicit relationship with the gyal.

I'm trying hard to be a good muslim but at the same time i admit I have a few girl mates-if i do like a girl and the feeling is mutual and i am in a position to marry her and support her, then by all means i will inform my family and start making arrangements.

Right now, im on;y 18 so if I do strongly feel about a girl, i'll still inform my parents and they can discuss it with the girls family, and keep in touch until I feel i'm ready to marry her and provide for her.

Bottom line is-I'm going to find my wife myself but won't get involved in the dating game.

"chm1" wrote:

Bottom line is-I'm going to find my wife myself but won't get involved in the dating game.

Im curious... how do you intend to find your own wife if your not gonna stick atleast a toe into the dating game? Im not taking the micky i just wanna knw.

If i was available (which im not, sorry girls) i suppose i may take the view that if i was to have a 'lurve' marriage then i'd prob just bump into her somewhere while i was doing everyday things... but some how i cant see that happening... but its good to hope.

Back in BLACK

"Seraph" wrote:
micky i just wanna knw.

If i was available (which im not, sorry girls)

sorry? no need to be i would think that was a blessing in disguise Wink ah jus couldnt help myself!

Salaam

I too have serious issues with both types of marriages.

I dislike the way they are handled in our society (especially arranged marriages).

However, I’m sure both types of marriages can work and be successful as long as both parties are OK with it and no laws of Allah (swt) are broken in the process.

Wasalaam

"MuslimSister" wrote:
Salaam

I too have serious issues with both types of marriages.

Wasalaam

Hmm is there any other way you can get married, cuz i aint aware if it? Personally i dont think there is anythin wrong with arranged marriages, like seraph i am also curious how would one get a love marriage without have somethin to do with datin or any haram ways?

I think its just the way ppl bring up the issue of marriage it kinda puts you off and the high divorce rates dont help much either!

Would a marriage through a marriage agency etc count as a love marriage or arranged marriage?

"irfghan" wrote:
Would a marriage through a marriage agency etc count as a love marriage or arranged marriage?

Bit of both, cuz you are getin it done through an agency and then choosing who suits ya, but more to the side of arranged cuz love you dont go lookin for it, it just happens (that sounds cheesy)

"irfghan" wrote:
Would a marriage through a marriage agency etc count as a love marriage or arranged marriage?

Is there sumin Fred is not telling us? Wink

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:
"irfghan" wrote:
Would a marriage through a marriage agency etc count as a love marriage or arranged marriage?

Is there sumin Fred is not telling us? Wink

lol i am so slow i didnt think of that!!! omg afghani irfan what u up2? didnt think u were into that kinda thing

ROFL!

No. Marriage is last thing I want to be involved in right now!

I was just wondering what constitutes a love or arranged marriage. I wanted to know what category agency marriages fall into because there would be alot less invlovement from parents and it would be more up to the individual. IMO.

"irfghan" wrote:
ROFL!

No. Marriage is last thing I want to be involved in right now!

I was just wondering what constitutes a love or arranged marriage. I wanted to know what category agency marriages fall into because there would be alot less invlovement from parents and it would be more up to the individual. IMO.

hmmm now is that convincing enough to believe?? lol

"muslim_kuri" wrote:
"irfghan" wrote:
ROFL!

No. Marriage is last thing I want to be involved in right now!

I was just wondering what constitutes a love or arranged marriage. I wanted to know what category agency marriages fall into because there would be alot less invlovement from parents and it would be more up to the individual. IMO.

hmmm now is that convincing enough to believe?? lol

well lets just say poor boy did try to conceal it best possible but hey we can see through it!

in regards to your queston afghani, i answered but i think it is classified as arranged cuz at the end of the day someone is findin you a partner ie agency...bloody hell sounds like a job agency!

"angel" wrote:
"muslim_kuri" wrote:

hmmm now is that convincing enough to believe?? lol

well lets just say poor boy did try to conceal it best possible but hey we can see through it!

I'm not going to get all worked up about this like I normally would.

I'm just going to ignore you.

"irfghan" wrote:
"angel" wrote:
"muslim_kuri" wrote:

hmmm now is that convincing enough to believe?? lol

well lets just say poor boy did try to conceal it best possible but hey we can see through it!

I'm not going to get all worked up about this like I normally would.

I'm just going to ignore you.

lol i see we are on the road to being cured, congrats!

hhmm

I'd prefer a love marriage,:wink:

I'd probably get an arranged marraige, :roll:

but at the mo its likely to be neither. :?

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

"angel" wrote:
"MuslimSister" wrote:
Salaam

I too have serious issues with both types of marriages.

Wasalaam

Hmm is there any other way you can get married, cuz i aint aware if it? Personally i dont think there is anythin wrong with arranged marriages, like seraph i am also curious how would one get a love marriage without have somethin to do with datin or any haram ways?

Salaam

I don’t know……a mixture of both I suppose.

I’m anti arranged marriages because I can’t see myself marrying a stranger…I don’t have blind faith in my parents decisions. Maybe that’s a weakness on my side…I don’t know.

And there’s only so much you can find out about a person in the presence of at least 20 family members.

And I’m anti love marriages because its wrong to do stuff undercover…its wrong to link up/phone up the person you like secretly.

I suppose the ideal situation is a mixture of both….if I was impressed by someone I’d find out through some middle person if he was interested too and without getting emotionally attached to the person I’d get him to come to my house and meet my parents….

Even my parents prefer this kind of set up.

Wasalaam

it aint dat long ago when british had arranged marriages....

my grandpa had an arranged marriage...lol...den again he was born in scotchland, they always a bit behind modern life...most scottish still have outsides toilet...

U shuld be thankful u got da option…

either way…u got a guaranteed wife/husband…no probs…it literatly on a plate…

i wish someone would arrange me a marriage…

i sure my mum wuld pick a better choice dan I ever would…

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

"St George" wrote:
it aint dat long ago when british had arranged marriages....

my grandpa had an arranged marriage...lol...den again he was born in scotchland, they always a bit behind modern life...most scottish still have outsides toilet...

:roll: no does your grandpa stil have one?

"St George" wrote:

U shuld be thankful u got da option…

either way…u got a guaranteed wife/husband…no probs…it literatly on a plate…

i wish someone would arrange me a marriage…

i sure my mum wuld pick a better choice dan I ever would…

oi georgy do u want me to find you a nice christian scotish lass? but then again i dont knw if a scotish gal would like a rude london mummy's boy like u!

Nah…angle…he moved to england for sanitation and hygiene

LOL…angel…why r denying ur scotch backgroud…

Ur location…

It used 2 say scotchland…then u changed it to escosse…

Now u switched it 2 “far far away”

U shouldn’t be ashamed of sotchland…it aint dat bad…be proud of ware u from… Biggrin

ps pleassssssssse, please, please, please find me a wife...

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

"St George" wrote:
Nah…angle…he moved to england for sanitation and hygiene

LOL…angel…why r denying ur scotch backgroud…

Ur location…

It used 2 say scotchland…then u changed it to escosse…

Now u switched it 2 “far far away”

U shouldn’t be ashamed of sotchland…it aint dat bad…be proud of ware u from… Biggrin

ps pleassssssssse, please, please, please find me a wife...

plz hygiene, your water is unhygienic and can kill a normal healthy person!!

Just to let you knw georgy i am very very proud to be scottish (check my profile)...whats with the 1000's of please's, so u wont mind a scottish lass?

"St George" wrote:

U shuld be thankful u got da option…

either way…u got a guaranteed wife/husband…no probs…it literatly on a plate…

Georgy porgy dont aim very high does he

ANYONE can find a wife

finding a decent wife is the porblem

u dont want to end up with someone who ends up running for Britians Worst Wife (btw did anyones watch that today?)

Salam

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:
Simple question, that requires a simple answer

which ones works? Which one do u prefer? Which one do u see yourself having?

This is one topic that ALWAYS comes up when sitting with a group of girls in college

I dont kno if guys talk about this too

Discuss

Love marriage or arranged marriage ?

I would go for neither.

A purely arranged marriage sounds bad because I dont like leaving major decisions in someone else's hands.

As regards love marriage, I would NOT anger my Lord by having a fling with a girl before marriage.

Therefore, both types of marriages are out for me.

I would rather prefer and go for an arranged love marriage.

Yes. There IS such a thing.

Omrow

"Omrow" wrote:

I would rather prefer and go for an arranged love marriage.

Yes. There IS such a thing.

Please eloborate.

"angel" wrote:
"St George" wrote:
Nah…angle…he moved to england for sanitation and hygiene

LOL…angel…why r denying ur scotch backgroud…

Ur location…

It used 2 say scotchland…then u changed it to escosse…

Now u switched it 2 “far far away”

U shouldn’t be ashamed of sotchland…it aint dat bad…be proud of ware u from… Biggrin

ps pleassssssssse, please, please, please find me a wife...

plz hygiene, your water is unhygienic and can kill a normal healthy person!!

Just to let you knw georgy i am very very proud to be scottish (check my profile)...whats with the 1000's of please's, so u wont mind a scottish lass?

i dont mind scots girls...they ok...bit fiesty though, a bit lippy, but they acceptable Biggrin

im sure u a scottish patriot, good 4 u...i bet u will make ur husband ware a kilt at ur wedding... Wink

so find me a decent scots girl, angel...

she gotta be intellegent...2:1 degree mimimum...good cook...houseproud...etc etc....and make sure she studyed RE at school, i aint gonna marry no girl who cannot match my depth of religious knowledge Wink

POWER TO THE PEOPLE

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