"Noor" wrote:

so yh, how sociable are you?

Depends on which social circle I'm in.

However, whatever the occassion I always make a lot of effort - although sometimes it takes a lot of hard work and effort...and sometime it comes easily (again, depending on the circle and where I feel most comfortable)

On a side note..I get the feeling that most of our forum members are very anti-social? :?

"Noor" wrote:

so yh, how sociable are you?

But whenever I feel things are going well I always make a faux pas.

Maybe I read too much into people's posts...but I get the feeling that Admin, Beast and Seraph are really anti-social.

Am I wrong?

"MuslimSister" wrote:

Maybe I read too much into people's posts...but I get the feeling that Admin, Beast and Seraph are really anti-social.

Am I wrong?

No. You're right.

But I have my reasons.

What is anti-social behaviour?

IMO its not wishing to be in a group of people...avoiding all social gatherings, parties, events etc

Pref to be by yourself ALL the time or most of the time...

Avoiding above situations incase you make a fool out of yourself.

However, this can also be percieved as being shy...I'm not sure what the difference is.

My sister comes off as being rude - but she's just extremly anti-social. Loves to stay at home.

me i have great skills socially

I'm not as sociable as some people I know, but I'll always make an effort and can be quite talkative. But believe it or not, I am really shy as well, which would probably make people who really know me laugh out loud! That's coz if I know someone I'm just myself which is quite honest and pretty much what you see is what you get, but if I don't know someone that well I always hold back a bit.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

Maybe I read too much into people's posts...but I get the feeling that Admin, Beast and Seraph are really anti-social.

Am I wrong?

lol, seems like you still havnt fully understood me.

Im a pretty sociable person... to one and all.

But this year at uni ive decided to issolate myself, to concentrate on my work. Its hard... but necessary.

i dont know what it is but i find ppl irritating and annoying these days. There was a time i would sit around and chat wiv mates go out for a meal, cinema, bowlin etc. I find myself avoiding my friends its just too much effort tryin to make a conversation.

Ya'qub's definition of what makes someone sociable:

-if you have your profile 'hidden' then you are anti-social
-if you don't have your profile 'hidden' you may still be anti-social, but also technophobic.

I do wish I was a social butterfly (which I'm not) and I love those people who can always take command when they enter a room, can talk/sell just about everything and are great fun to be around.

I am not unsocial. I just don't answer my phone. (I will delete my earlier post to make this my definitive answer.)

There are those who want to lead even if they have no clue what is going on, and those who only lead when they have to. The type who naturally leads AND knows what they are chatting about is very rare. or non existent.

"You" wrote:

The type who naturally leads AND knows what they are chatting about is very rare. or non existent.

rare yes non existent no. There is a guy in one of my tutorials who always answers any questions that are asked by the lecturer. He never gives anybody else a chance to get a word in. Once the lecturer embarrassed the poor guy by cutting him off as he started to talk. She stated "could you please give someone else a chance to speak." Everybody just burst out laughing. Personally i think it were a bit tight.

But is he really a leader?

"You" wrote:

There are those who want to lead even if they have no clue what is going on, and those who only lead when they have to.

Are you alluding to the relationship between you and Ed?

Just a generalisation that I have seen. A lot of those who jump into leadership positions seem to struggle as soon as any real challenge comes up. Most leaders tend to be talkers and most talkers tend to blow hot air.

"You" wrote:

But is he really a leader?

no doubt about it. You ask him anything or when he is put on the spot he can give you an answer. The dude is respected.

"You" wrote:

Just a generalisation that I have seen. A lot of those who jump into leadership positions seem to struggle as soon as any real challenge comes up. Most leaders tend to be talkers and most talkers tend to blow hot air.

True leadership is rare - more so in our generation. But have we really had the opportunities to lead?

The third generation has been fighting for leadership in Mosques for so long now...

It would be intresting to see how the people from our generation lead...

When you talk about leadership it depends really because well my job role for a while now has included leadership and you have to have an element of adaptability. I consider myself to be very adaptable but also i find that i have a direct and straightforward nature when dealing with people and keep a smile when i communicate at work which always avoids causing intimidation.

When chatting to people on somewhere like here its difficult to get a true reflection of the actual person your engaging in conversation with due to the fact that expression/tone of that person cannot be seen in a response.

I agree though having had some input (not alot mind) on this forum, with the fact that there are a few anti social people on here..(some people might believe me to be one of them) however i guess again its probably down to having little information about a persons tone etc when chatting.

I could never hack a job which involves leadership - I find it stressful enough to lead a class of 30children and PGCE students.

LOL you must have alot of patience working with children.. i would find that difficult!!!

"Noor" wrote:

^ u inspire me sis. u teach PGCE students as well? wow

Lol. Not quite yet Sis. I need to be a Uni Professor to do that - with a couple of years teaching and whole lot of exp in the field of education first...

However, PGCE students are sent to schools on placement to shadow a teacher, pick up learning styles - teachers need to observe their practice -and offer feedback.

"Imaani" wrote:

I'm not as sociable as some people I know, but I'll always make an effort and can be quite talkative. But believe it or not, I am really shy as well, which would probably make people who really know me laugh out loud! That's coz if I know someone I'm just myself which is quite honest and pretty much what you see is what you get, but if I don't know someone that well I always hold back a bit.

Also when I'm with a large group of people, I'm usually the one who doesn't talk much; I prefer small groups.

"Noor" wrote:

so yh, how sociable are you?

I'm quite sociable; love meeting new people and generally going out with my friends and family.

As to when it comes to groups I tend to not shy away too much. If I got a valid point to make I will express it. Especially when it comes to hot discussions e.g. terror oppressed women religion.I grow very passionate and feel that I got a need to speak out.

"MuslimBro" wrote:

"Imaani" wrote:

I'm not as sociable as some people I know, but I'll always make an effort and can be quite talkative. But believe it or not, I am really shy as well, which would probably make people who really know me laugh out loud! That's coz if I know someone I'm just myself which is quite honest and pretty much what you see is what you get, but if I don't know someone that well I always hold back a bit.

Ditto, that's exactly me.

yup thats me, those who are close to me think i never know when to shut up those who dont would think i'm very shy....with new ppl i come across as reserved coz i wana know who i'm talking to ie can i trust em etc....thats not being suspicious right, just careful? :?

Not very

In my “jahaliya” days I was a lot more sociable. This wasn’t necessarily a good thing.. SOMETIMES the more people you know the more crap/backbiting your likely to get involved with… but it depends on the company you keep and the people you socialise with and your intentions etc

I went through a year were I did minimum socialising, tried to seclude myself, but my mum got worried lol

Now, I still like socialising but not overdoing it, I’m not shy so meeting random people isn’t a biggy, But I prefer socialising with people who are on the same level as me and who I know I can keep good ties with and can have a positive influence on me