Funny/embarassing/geeky stories please!

You might have had this before (sorry if you have) but lets hear some funny/embarassing/geeky/cringe stories please..

Ill start with a really stupid geeky one. It involves a shopping trip to Meadowhall with my two sisters. Anyway.. during this shopping trip my lil bro calls me and says get me some boxers from Madhouse.

So we stopped by Madhouse and i went over to the calvin kleins section and picked up a small size in grey boxers.. at this point this asian guy from my area who who works there (he had the distinctive grey sweatshirt uniform on) walks up to us and says are you alright an i was like "yeah thanks" just goin over to pay for em..

We're walkin over and my lil sis says hang on a min im sure hes a medium and not small size so i went ok.. walked back and im rumaging through the lot and there aint no medium.. so i walk over to the nice sales assistant guy again and asked him if they have any medium and he says "oh yeah Im sure we have some in the back, i'll just go check" and disappears towards a door at the other side of the shop. At this point my lil sister says im sure they had some here before when we were looking, im gonna look again.. so she starts rumaging thru the boxers again..

about 5 mins later the guys still not back and my lil sister throws these medium sized calvin kleins at me and says "they've got some look"
So I walk back over towards the counter and then thought id hang on cos it would be polite for me to wait. I didnt want to be rude, the poor guy had been gone a while and he was bound to come back now.. but anyway i picked up the boxers then i looked over towards that door he disappeared through.. then hey there he is...

so i frantically start waving these boxer shorts at him to get his attention but he doesnt seem to notice.. so i wave them a little harder and point at them as if to say ive found some and im laughing because of his confused look.. then hes looking slightly more confused.. then i mime IVE FOUND EM and hold em up a little higher in case he cant see them.. (cos he seemed to be empty handed anyway)... when my sister stops me and says.. Gul thats not him its that popular guy from our area who everybody knows.. and i looked at my sister looked back at the guy and then i realised :oops: .. he looked kinda similar but cos of that stupid sweatshirt i thought it was the same guy!!!! He was looking slightly confused and walking towards us and at this point id gone all red and was trying to get my purse out to pay for the stupid boxers and get outta there.. anyway in the mad rush i left em on the counter and had to go back in... how embarrassing.. i'll never buy anyone boxers again!! lol :oops:

Told you it was geeky!! :oops: :oops:

:shock: Lol I would no way even agree to buy boxers for anybody, I think I'd just to be too embarrassed even without waving them about at random guys in the shop, lol.

"Gulz" wrote:
so i walk over to the nice sales assistant guy again and asked him if they have any medium and he says "oh yeah Im sure we have some in the back, i'll just go check" and disappears towards a door at the other side of the shop.

"Gulz" wrote:
about 5 mins later the guys still not back

"Gulz" wrote:
the poor guy had been gone a while and he was bound to come back now..

How to get rid of an annoying customer and skive off in the back so you dont have to do any work? simple tell the customer that your going in the back to find the product for them. Once your in the back have a cup of tea, read the paper, ring a mate, have a chat with whoever is in the back..... ahhh a classic sales assistant tactic. Biggrin

No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy

Very true Naz.. ive never worked in a retail sales type environment such as this and given your theory I think your probably right!! lol :?

OMG that is a bad one! Gulz ur a girl right? Im assuming that 1 from the fact that u had a purse. What the hell, thats like me buying underwear for my sister, not gonna happen! Im sure ur bro coulda bought them himself? Was it an emergency? I seriously doubt it. And I know u will say that I was in meadowhall anyway so 2 birds with 1 stone etc but still.

I been 2 meadowhall too, I think its cool. Hey hav u been back since or r u never going back coz of that? Lol.

I dont have any funny stories about me that I can remember as such. Oh wait 1 minute, this was kinda embarassing, me and my friend were in my house and my mom wanted a number for something i dunno a plumber or local business so I rang 192 or whatever it was then (now 118) and the person said "name" and I gave my name! And they were like what! They wanted the name of the business/place etc, i didnt know that was 1st time i ever rang them!

Anyway another 1, me and a friend were standing outside college and we noticed another of our friends walk past about 5m away. My mate (standing next 2 me) said Hi (name), how were ur holidays? AT THE EXACT same time, this girl walks in front of the guy and looked up and said yeah they were ok (even though we didnt know her and she didnt know us) and she looked behind her AND THE LOOK ON HER FACE omg, she put her hand over her face so to block off her eye and nose and mouth (as a shield) and hung her head in shame lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey yes Im a girl.. and lol your stories are funny!!

Well the thing is my baby bro is not a baby anymore but he'l always be my baby bro.. lol thats why i kinda spoil him rotten.. lol.. thats why my mum blames me and my older brothers and sister everytime he misbehaves!! so everytime he needs something i will definately just go and get it regardless... p.s i woulda preferred female sales assistants.. it woulda been less embarassing but oh well!!! the damage is done.. :oops:

I still love meadowhall though.. Since the floods hit sheffield its not been all that to be honest the floors were filthy and half the shops have been closed for ages!!

Theres so many directory enquiry numbers these days its rediculous.. i can imagine.. which name would you like please.. er "quotes her name"!!!!! thats a good one!!! lol

"Gulz" wrote:
I still love meadowhall though.. Since the floods hit sheffield its not been all that to be honest the floors were filthy and half the shops have been closed for ages!!

That's true, but it was a freak event and the most rain fell that day for what 60 years or whatever it was! So the damage was gonna be severe.

Anyway, I got another couple, I just been thinking and they came 2 me. Once I was upstairs and heard the ice cream van and looked outta the window as u sometimes do to see the queue of kids jumping and getting excited. Anyway, after a while I saw my lil sis run out from our alley way across the road towards the van. She didn't even look out for any cars! As she was running, he drove off! I was laughing my head off! The thing was, even though it was driving away, she stopped and ran a little then looked as if to say "please don't go *sulk*" LOL!!!!!!!!!

I banged on the window and let her know I saw it and I still bug her about it and she hates it lol. Moral of the story : never chase an ice cream van! Walk to it, if it goes it goes, at least u wont look stupid!

The other one, me and my bro were at a wedding and we were eating etc and he wanted the yoghurt to put on his rice but it was half way down this long table (maybe they were tight that day coz normally they put loads, either that or someone moved it, anyway...) as he got up and went towards it, this old man reached for it and picked it up and bought it closer to him and further from my bro and he just came back and sat down. Owned! Moral of the story : ask for stuff and u shall receive!
_______________________________________________
I'm serious I aint playin, I'll embed it in yer brain, I'm off the chain!

when it comes to brothers and sisters.. well theres 8 of us altogether so when we sit down and chat about the old times we do end up teasing each other!!! Its nice to have these kinda stories to make fun of each other.. always.. lol Biggrin

i got one, happened couple of monthz ago
i walked out the sitting room, up the stairs and realized i left my fone downstairz. so i ran down 2 go get it before my sister in law or sisters saw some dodgy txtz lol. i ran into da room and checked were i was sat. it wasnt dere and my sister in law had a big smile on her face. she was pregnant at the time as well so i walked up to her n said "come on get it out nw" LMAO. i neva realized wat i sed 1st bt den afta 2 minz a went shiny red and walked out the room lol :oops: :oops:

"ThiS WoRlD Iz A PrIsOn 4 A BeLiVeR AnD PaRaDiSe 4 A NoN-BeLiVeR.........."

M4k4v3l1

Ha ha thats a classic!!! lol :oops:

I dont think this will b funny but...me nd ma m8s we were jus chillin about nd thinkin of goin sheesha and out of no where one of ma m8 she cumz out wiv sayin "how much is 50p" haha...lol she was proper embarrased we still tease her about it 2dai! lmao

Rocky

he he ... im sure ive done that before as well at some point but i was just lucky enough not to get tesed over it!!! lol

When i was a kid... I wasnt allowed to say the word pig.

So i always had to say it by spelling it out. P.I.G

So I once asked how to spell P..I..G :oops:

I was 10 at the time.

Back in BLACK

lol that reminds me of my lil brother when he someone nicked his bike cos he left it out of the shed when we were younger... and he asked what do i dial for 999???

"Gulz" wrote:
lol that reminds me of my lil brother when he someone nicked his bike cos he left it out of the shed when we were younger... and he asked what do i dial for 999???

lmao...jokesss

Rocky

"Seraphim" wrote:
When i was a kid... I wasnt allowed to say the word pig.

So i always had to say it by spelling it out. P.I.G

So I once asked how to spell P..I..G :oops:

I was 10 at the time.

lol same here mum use to say if you say the word then your mouth is phaleet for like 30/40 days. Im sure that applies to alcohol. Is that like a cultural thing or religious thing?

No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy

am sure thats more of a culture fing

"ThiS WoRlD Iz A PrIsOn 4 A BeLiVeR AnD PaRaDiSe 4 A NoN-BeLiVeR.........."

[b]True Story:[/b]

I work for a law firm and I have to go to the Royal Courts of Justice every afternoon to issue papers, witness statements etc. It is also a perfect opportunity for Asr/Maghrib because there is a nice prayer room there.

Yesterday I was in the toilet making my wudhu, when I heard a small commotion outside and the door flung open and a man stumbled in.
"Oopsy daisy, I seem to have just tripped over my own feet!" He said in a bright and friendly manner.
"Hope your ok," I replied. I smiled at him to show my sympathy. Thats when I realised he had painted the words 'Dodi' and 'Diana' in large bright-blue letters across his forehead, cheeks and nose.
I paused for a moment, before commencing with my wudhu.
He stopped before using the urinal to let out the loudest high-pitched fart I have ever heard. It sounded like something from a cartoon.
"O dear, sorry about that!" He said, as jollily as before.
"Thats quite alright," I lied.
"Ok, bye now!" he said as he bounded out of the toilet, without stopping to wash his hands.
I shook my head for a moment, decided that with supporters like him Diana is not likely to find justice, then wiped my feet.

Don't just do something! Stand there.

Thanks for bringing this thread back up, Ya'qub. I have something to share...

I made a bit of a howler at work yesterday. I cost the company a hypothetical £86,033.01p. This story will require a bit of concentration. I mean come on… we're talking about £86,000 here!

I'm coming to the end of a part time job at a university bookshop. The bookshop also sells food for students who live in the university accommodation. This includes sandwiches. We have a special offer on the sandwiches – you can get a sandwich, a bar of chocolate and a bottle of water for £2.99.

What used to happen was that whenever a customer bought a 'Meal Deal' as we call it to the counter we would just type MEAL DEAL into the till and it would charge 2.99. But then the guys at IT came up with an idea. They decided to program the 'Meal Deal' into the till so that when you scanned a sandwich, a bar of chocolate and a bottle of water the till would automatically work out that this is a 'Mead Deal' and reduce the price from the standard 3.63 to the offer price of 2.99.

With me so far? This worked out for a few hours until we realised that if a customer buys two 'Meal Deals' at the same time, the till works out that we owe the customer money! Obviously it wasn't programmed all that well. So it was then policy to never process more than one 'Meal Deal' at a time. This is what we've been doing for the last two months.

However, on Monday a customer bought a 'Meal Deal'. But they also bought an extra two bars of chocolate. I put it through but the till worked out the price at £3.44. The customer managed to get a bar of chocolate for free. So, the next day I decided to experiment. I tried out what would happen if a customer bought 10 bars of chocolate with their sandwich and bottle of water. Lo and behold, they could get 8 of those bars for free. Obviously I bought this to the attention of my immediate superior.

On Wednesday morning I decided to push things further. I increased the number of chocolate bars to 1,000 and found that a customer could in theory purchase these for a mere £3.44. Still I was not satisfied. I decided to change the number of bottles of water to 500 and found that a customer could buy these for under £4.

At this point I did the most reckless thing I have ever done (as far I know). I increased the number of sandwiches to 100. Momentarily forgetting that we are not supposed to process more than one 'Meal Deal' at the same time. I pushed the button for the till to work out the total and… it did more than I wanted it to. While I had been experimenting, I was careful not to get to the point where what I was doing was put through as an actual recorded real-life transaction.

But as soon as I pushed the button for the till to work out the total for 100 sandwiches, 500 bottles of water and 1000 bars of chocolate… the till went 'kerching'! and a receipt came out of the till. I picked up the receipt and it gave a grand total of -£86,033.01p.

It was as if someone had bought all those sandwiches, chocolates, and water and I gave them over £86,000 in change.

And there was no way of rectifying it. Our tills are very simple and have not been developed with me in mind. We phoned the guys at IT, they had no idea what to do. We then had to phone the Head of Operations, the most dreaded woman in the whole company…

Luckily I was only there for half the day. I have the rest of the week to think of what I'm going to tell the Managing Director when he comes up on Tuesday.

"ßeast" wrote:
Thanks for bringing this thread back up, Ya'qub. I have something to share...

I made a bit of a howler at work yesterday. I cost the company a hypothetical £86,033.01p. This story will require a bit of concentration. I mean come on… we're talking about £86,000 here!

I'm coming to the end of a part time job at a university bookshop. The bookshop also sells food for students who live in the university accommodation. This includes sandwiches. We have a special offer on the sandwiches – you can get a sandwich, a bar of chocolate and a bottle of water for £2.99.

What used to happen was that whenever a customer bought a 'Meal Deal' as we call it to the counter we would just type MEAL DEAL into the till and it would charge 2.99. But then the guys at IT came up with an idea. They decided to program the 'Meal Deal' into the till so that when you scanned a sandwich, a bar of chocolate and a bottle of water the till would automatically work out that this is a 'Mead Deal' and reduce the price from the standard 3.63 to the offer price of 2.99.

With me so far? This worked out for a few hours until we realised that if a customer buys two 'Meal Deals' at the same time, the till works out that we owe the customer money! Obviously it wasn't programmed all that well. So it was then policy to never process more than one 'Meal Deal' at a time. This is what we've been doing for the last two months.

However, on Monday a customer bought a 'Meal Deal'. But they also bought an extra two bars of chocolate. I put it through but the till worked out the price at £3.44. The customer managed to get a bar of chocolate for free. So, the next day I decided to experiment. I tried out what would happen if a customer bought 10 bars of chocolate with their sandwich and bottle of water. Lo and behold, they could get 8 of those bars for free. Obviously I bought this to the attention of my immediate superior.

On Wednesday morning I decided to push things further. I increased the number of chocolate bars to 1,000 and found that a customer could in theory purchase these for a mere £3.44. Still I was not satisfied. I decided to change the number of bottles of water to 500 and found that a customer could buy these for under £4.

At this point I did the most reckless thing I have ever done (as far I know). I increased the number of sandwiches to 100. Momentarily forgetting that we are not supposed to process more than one 'Meal Deal' at the same time. I pushed the button for the till to work out the total and… it did more than I wanted it to. While I had been experimenting, I was careful not to get to the point where what I was doing was out through as an actual recorded real-life transaction.

But as soon as I pushed the button for the till to work out the total for 100 sandwiches, 500 bottles of water and 1000 bars of chocolate… the till went 'kerching'! and a receipt came out of the till. I picked up the receipt and it gave a grand total of -£86,033.01p.

It was as if someone had bought all those sandwiches, chocolates, and water and I gave them over £86,000 in change.

And there was no way of rectifying it. Our tills are very simple and have not been developed with me in mind. We phoned the guys at IT, they had no idea what to do. We then had to phone the Head of Operations, the most dreaded woman in the whole company…

Luckily I was only there for half the day. I have the rest of the week to think of what I'm going to tell the Managing Director when he comes up on Tuesday.


Please don't apply for a job in a bank!

tsmy.org - Innovative solutions for the youth

Lol. Beast I have a feeling your job didnt intellectually stimulate you enough...and you had way too much time on your hands.

"tsmy" wrote:
"ßeast" wrote:
Thanks for bringing this thread back up, Ya'qub. I have something to share...

I made a bit of a howler at work yesterday. I cost the company a hypothetical £86,033.01p. This story will require a bit of concentration. I mean come on… we're talking about £86,000 here!

I'm coming to the end of a part time job at a university bookshop. The bookshop also sells food for students who live in the university accommodation. This includes sandwiches. We have a special offer on the sandwiches – you can get a sandwich, a bar of chocolate and a bottle of water for £2.99.

What used to happen was that whenever a customer bought a 'Meal Deal' as we call it to the counter we would just type MEAL DEAL into the till and it would charge 2.99. But then the guys at IT came up with an idea. They decided to program the 'Meal Deal' into the till so that when you scanned a sandwich, a bar of chocolate and a bottle of water the till would automatically work out that this is a 'Mead Deal' and reduce the price from the standard 3.63 to the offer price of 2.99.

With me so far? This worked out for a few hours until we realised that if a customer buys two 'Meal Deals' at the same time, the till works out that we owe the customer money! Obviously it wasn't programmed all that well. So it was then policy to never process more than one 'Meal Deal' at a time. This is what we've been doing for the last two months.

However, on Monday a customer bought a 'Meal Deal'. But they also bought an extra two bars of chocolate. I put it through but the till worked out the price at £3.44. The customer managed to get a bar of chocolate for free. So, the next day I decided to experiment. I tried out what would happen if a customer bought 10 bars of chocolate with their sandwich and bottle of water. Lo and behold, they could get 8 of those bars for free. Obviously I bought this to the attention of my immediate superior.

On Wednesday morning I decided to push things further. I increased the number of chocolate bars to 1,000 and found that a customer could in theory purchase these for a mere £3.44. Still I was not satisfied. I decided to change the number of bottles of water to 500 and found that a customer could buy these for under £4.

At this point I did the most reckless thing I have ever done (as far I know). I increased the number of sandwiches to 100. Momentarily forgetting that we are not supposed to process more than one 'Meal Deal' at the same time. I pushed the button for the till to work out the total and… it did more than I wanted it to. While I had been experimenting, I was careful not to get to the point where what I was doing was out through as an actual recorded real-life transaction.

But as soon as I pushed the button for the till to work out the total for 100 sandwiches, 500 bottles of water and 1000 bars of chocolate… the till went 'kerching'! and a receipt came out of the till. I picked up the receipt and it gave a grand total of -£86,033.01p.

It was as if someone had bought all those sandwiches, chocolates, and water and I gave them over £86,000 in change.

And there was no way of rectifying it. Our tills are very simple and have not been developed with me in mind. We phoned the guys at IT, they had no idea what to do. We then had to phone the Head of Operations, the most dreaded woman in the whole company…

Luckily I was only there for half the day. I have the rest of the week to think of what I'm going to tell the Managing Director when he comes up on Tuesday.


Please don't apply for a job in a bank!

im sure the banks nowadays do meal deals Lol

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...

"MuslimSister" wrote:
Lol. Beast I have a feeling your job didnt intellectually stimulate you enough...and you had way too much time on your hands.

Yeah. That's right.

Working in a bookshop is so boring. I spend all day checking my emails and going on the Revival. But now they'll be watching me like hawks and I won't even be able to do that.

At least you have some intresting psychology/theology books to read there...or political ones in your case.

How much longer are you there for?

No time to read. Whenever I do get the time I have to find a book for students who know what the book is about but don't know what its called or who the author is!

I'll be there until the end of the month. But I'm also starting some voluntary work for a community org next week.