"nice people get abused, walked all over, taken for a ride and taken advantage off"
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Yes sometimes but you also have to be firm in what you believe and learn to say NO when you feel it is nesessary.
Unfortunately theres alot of greedy, selfish, messed up people in this world who go through life emotionally and physically abusing others for their own sake, we see it all the time.
From a global scale such as invasions of countries to individual cases when you hear a story that someones parents are trying to get their children forcefully married etc.
It is true that once the Earth and Heavens were joined together as one. But when mankind stepped foot on it soil it soon became something far from Heaven and in many cases Hell on Earth.
We all have reponsibilities for each other and for ourselves we all need to start respecting each other more and by respecting each other you have to first respect yourself. Before you do or say something take a step back and think long and hard. Is the action you are going to take have a positive impact to the person is question or a negative one?
We all need to treat each other the way we want to be treated by others (Ikram-muslimeen).
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
I agree with LilSis. I find it hard to say no, or to ask for something back so here's my story.
A mate of mine (who was close) asked me to lend him some money (not much) and as he was going through a hard time I said yes, and obviously I was expecting it back. It's been 2 years and I see him sometimes but he hasn't repayed the money back and I can't just go up to him and say can I have my money back.
And when I got my driving license some of my mates used to come to my house regularly coz they knew I wouldn't say no and would give them a cruise but now that I'm busy, they hardly come to my house.
I think nice people are sometimes just too nice so they are taken advantage of.
Yes people take advantage of you if they see that they can walk all over you. Sometimes you have to tell em to do one.
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
Nice people who believe the above aren't very nice, and people who don't ask for their money back aren't doing anyone any favours and probably have guilt issues. Help people to do things properly. Ask them to keep their promises. Say no graciously and often rather than lumber people with debts they aren't good for, and trust yourself to do what's best.
I am quite free with the cigarettes. One time I gave a man a cigarette he promptly slit his wrists in the correct expectation that I was his sucker for the day who would see to it that he got an ambulance and thus would get a bed for the night. He didn't need a cigarette, in fact my acquiescence to his desperation only provoked a very unpleasant drama. Let's be honest, I wasn't being nice, I like talking to the downtrodden and outcast, it makes me feel useful and appear generous and gives me company. I gave him a cigarette because I was irresponsible, bored, didn't much care about him, and it was zero effort. More after Shabbos.
[size=10]I feel I'm gonna move on back down south
you know where the water tastes like cherry wine[/size]
All of the above doesn’t happen to you, you're very fortunate.
Talking of fags.
I was once in south london with a mate shopping. A man came up to us and asked me for a fag. I said sorry mate I don't smoke. The man started arguing with me and said I'm lying. Argued with the guy for some time then he went off on his way. I was expecting a fight by the way the guy was acting but it never got to that point. Btw it happened outside the lewisham police HQ.
True.
However I am extremely nice. Most of the time. I know people will take advantage of that. I give them some leeway. Then BAM!!! I can be a right argumentative [i]gos se[/i].
Being nice does not mean not standing up for yourself. Be polite, noce when needed. But if someone takes advantage, and it bothers you, justmake it clear that you choose to be polite. You can lose that demeanor when you choose to aswell.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I find it hard to say "No" to stuff...I rushed a two hour exam today and was finished in under an hour because I had agreed to be somewhere in the afternoon...I know I messed it up and will be looking at re-tests in the winter.
I find it difficult to pester people back for money or stuff I've lent them...I take on work even when I'm already drowning cos of too much on my plate.
However, for some reason my niceness never extends to my siblings...
mashaALLAH gud topic.
There's an urdu saying -
"yeh zamana shareefon ka naheen hai"
This is not the age for decent people.
And its true. People who are too nice get walked all over day in/day out. I dunno where I fall into this. I come across as very full of myself (which I am) and very nast (which I can be) but at same time I think Im generally alright type of person - if someone asks me for help I'll say yes even if I dnt really want to. But at the same time if someone asks me to go somewhere or do something anti-deen then alhamdulillah its much easier for me to say no and be blunt about it.
There was a brother I know and he put his family and particularly his parents first in an issue because of certain things he was told. Later he discovered that much of it was blackmail, and the rest lies. Thats why they say this is not the age for decent people - lol.
My stance - is a lil confused. My nafs says be selfish and do your own thing but thats easier said than done. Sometimes I envy those people who are reckless and do their own thing without bothering about others but then again I wouldnt want to be that type of person innit.
guess Im confused :?
ditto. My brothers probably see the worst of me from everyone including my parents and my friends.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
[color=magenta]nice topic, i had an incident relating to this topic in 6th form yesterday,basically we were mant to be doing a presentation for psychology in groups n i hadnt been to a psychology lesson for four lessons so i didnt knw anythng bout it n i said to the teacher that i aint doing it but then some girls like come in our group i was lyk oright, then i find out thy didnt do anythng n they expected me to do it n me being the nice person i started it off but then i realised i aint taking this rubbish so got up told im leaving their group n walked out they were begging me to stay n i was like no thanks you really cant cant expect me to do a presentation on somethng i dont even no abt.i fink any other day i wouldv taken it but i was in a bad mood so didnt let it happen, but in the past it happened often[/color]
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
Nice guys always finish last people.
Being nice means being selfless and being selfless all the time means you'll never gain anything in this world.
If you're nice to everyone you're not gonna get anywhere fast. In order to survive in this world it comes down to how far are you willing to go to get what you want.
Ofcourse thats no excuse to be obnoxious, there is such a thing as humility. But you need to be ruthless in terms of business and success.
I used to help out pure people at uni but that meant less time for me to do my own thing. So i told them all to do one in my final year as i need all the time i can get to concentrate on my own work.
Sometimes the needs of the one or the few out weigh the needs of the many.
Back in BLACK
Im nice,
even though i know that some people take advantage of me i still cant seem to say no or hurt them in any way, probably cos if anyone says anything to me i take it to heart so dont want them to feel the same.
Its like when my uncle asked my dad if he can come stay with us for abit my dad said yea thinking for like a week, hes still here with us...my elder bro who i thought would be most patient with him is always complaining to my mum to tell him to go back or stay with his bro in london, he aint related to my dad but is my mums cousin bro not mehram to us which is getting on my bros back.
my dad was nice despite the fact he aint related to him, my sisters are sick of him and i think its only me thats saying dont be tight on him and that he will be off himself even though hes taken over my bedroom.
Dont know how to be nice and say no without hurting someones feelings.
I think u summed it up perfectly bruv. especially the portions in bold.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
Maybe he's in desperate need i doubth it he's doing it out of choice. I mean i doubth anyone would overstay their welcome at someones house out of choice, he probably doesnt have anywhere else to go, or maybe he really likes you guys lol.
But its good what youre doing youre being patience which is good and you will be rewarded with that patience Inshallah.
Patience is the key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
Salaam
I disagree with all of the negative comments expressed against nice people.
It is because of such mentality that genuinely nice people are few and far between. Maybe nice people do get “walked all over” however; because they are selfless this doesn’t bother them…in Islam if one takes care of the needs of others Allah (swt) takes care of their needs.
Nice people are well liked and loved by all that know them… in many cases because of their sweet nature, nice people are often surrounded by people who stick up for them, fight their battles and take care of their needs.
Some of my nearest and dearest are the nicest people I know…there’s nothing I admire more in then others than consideration for other people’s feelings and good manners.
May Allah (swt) keep us always in the company of those with the best manners.
Wasalaam
yep i am very fortunate
cos i'm not a pushover
Some good points. Guess there are pros and cons to being nice. The respect from people is a pro; the taking of advantage a con.
ameen.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
Out prophet Muhammed (May peace and blessing be upon him, his family and his ummah) was nice.
So we should also strive to be nice, because its nice people who make the 'world go round'.
Money does not make the world go round rather it does the opposite of this. It halts the earth from going around and halts the abilities of mankind.
Money was created to control the masses, its a tool, its a weapon, just like a gun but much more powerful.
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
Please elaborate if possible. Who "created money" and why?
[size=10]I feel I'm gonna move on back down south
you know where the water tastes like cherry wine[/size]
I don't know who created it, but i know that the Rothchilds own all of it.
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
My cousin Ashley is a NY Rothschild, the whole clan are pretty longstanding family friends - really good people every last one of them (and the rappaports). In fact I think one of them who clerked for my father just had a major case in Pennsylvania about teaching creationism in public schools.
The Holy Prophet
said ‘whoever loses gentleness loses all good’. It is also stated in another Hadith that the Holy Prophet 
told his followers that “hell is made Haram (forbidden) on those who looks after their relatives, are gentle hearted and have good manners”.
...Also, we have a God who is Just, it is not possible that He's allow bad things to happen to nice people or that He'd allow them to be "walked all over".
Good and bad people always get whats coming to them.
Like this world it will perish.
No he aint in desperate need or anything like wise. Hes loaded and can get a house on rent if he wishes, hes got a brother in London whos offered him to come down , i guess its cos theres prob no-one to cook for him. Oh well the only thing bothering me is hes got my bedroom and i gotta keep going there to get my stuff.
that sums it up
i dont agree that people who are nice get walked over........coz in truth, even tho it may seem they have, they are the real winners.
i always try to be nice with people, sometimes people take advantage or just treat you like normal or crap, but what can you do. i wouldnt like to change
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
being nice is blissful doubly so because u just dont notice this so called 'trampling' on you.
selfishness in striving for the benefits of this world is hard work and a folly. we only exist for such a short while why spend it pleasing ourselves instead of pleasing Allah and his creation
of course we can all genralise and make such sweeping statements but it does really depend upon our natures which way we are.
it is naturally easier for some people to be nice how blessed and lucky they are!
I can't either and at the moment I have no money, no job so I really should ask for my money back but I just can't bring myself to do that...I also hate askin my money back when I knw someone is going through a bad patch financially, I feel really guilty in asking.
I like to help people, but I don't know if I would classify myself as nice, I am not a person that can be walked over.
At times I can say no to people on the other hand my sis never ever says "no" and she puts herself in so much difficulty, I rate her for that but at times it's really silly..
Being walked over isn't a bad thing if its selfless: In one of the Superman films, Superman lets a whole train roll right on over him so it does fall down and get destroyed, but also so all the people on board don't get delayed or late.
Being nice is cool...SUPER cool
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
same. i agree with this post of MuslimSis's. and to those of you who think 'nice' people get taken advantage of all the time: nice people are not idiots. its common sense to know when someone is trying to walk all over you, and in such cases, nice people can be firm too.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
It so much easier to be nice to those people who are nice to you…the real test begins when one has to be nice to those who may provoke, insult or belittle you.
Hadrat Ali (ra) said that one should be especially good to those who may be bad to you in return…as that’s the real test.
Nice people bring out ones niceness whilst difficult people bring out the worst in us…
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