Your Family And Your Deen

Salaam

Are you and your family on the same religious wavelength?

From what I’ve seen it’s kinda rare to see kids and their family on exactly the same religious wavelength…

What’s your family situation like?

Do you ever feel that it’s harder to implement Islam at home and find it easier to do your own thing outside of home?

Do you ever find yourself omitting vital details regarding your whereabouts, cos you know that they won’t approve? Do you ever feel that your parents are an obstacle in your deen?

OR do you come from the sort of family who is a lot more religious then you? Is your mum always telling you to cover up (if you’re a girl) or always telling you to grow a beard (if you’re a guy)….

Are they always trying to force you to go to religious programmes that you don’t want to attend?

OR do you come from an extremely secular minded family…a family that just tells you to focus on your education/career…do you have people in your family telling you to just focus on your “looks, career and meet a nice guy/girl and fall in love”?

Does your family follow different Shaykhs then you? Do you find the teachings they follow full of “biddah and Shirk” or do you find their understanding of the deen too “extreme and strict/rigid”?

How do you deal with differences of opinions in your own home?

Parents are parents…worthy of respect and honour EVEN if they’re in the wrong…at the same time, parents are only human like you and I and are prone to making mistakes… there should be some sort of balance between what you want to do and what your parents want you to do..

Anyways, are you and your family on the same religious wavelength?

Share your thoughts please.

Wasalaam

Actually me, my sis and mum were just talking bout this the other day, I personally feel I am so blessed to have parents who approve of things we do with regards to islam. My family and my immediate cousins are very attached to Shaykh-ul-islam and minhaj-ul-Quran. My sis and cuz’s were allowed to go to London to attend Shaykh-ul-Islam’s programmes even though it was far away but becuz my parents knew where they were it didn’t bother them. Also my parents let my sis study at ICIS becuz they knew exactly where they were goin who they were taught by.

Over the past yr or two I have started to enjoy attending Islamic gatherings before I used to find them so “boring” because I didn’t understand the beauty of Islam.

This is thanks to my parents and my uncle who introduced Shaykh-ul-Islam to our lives, May Allah (swt) reward them all. Above all its Allah (swt) mercy and blessing upon us that we are blessed with such an eminent scholar.

i have too many mixtures in my family

most are very secular

some are mildly secular

few are very cultural/strict (the ones frm back home)

only mum I'd say is very very strong in her deen-

Asalamualaikum!

I hate sayin this but its the truth, my family are completely opposite to religious.

Its more like me correctin them at times n makin them understand but they rules R rules no matter hw rong or rite they r.

Being the only one that takes Islam seriously, im nt sayin im perfect but basically my whole life is dedicated to my religion n thats thanx to my Shaykh n its mission, if it wasnt 4 him only Allah (swt) knows were i wuld hav been nw.

My family, relatives etc r all into their culture n their life filled wid luv of this world. I've tried many times to make em understand n keep tryin but unfortunately it has neva wrked.

I also asked them just to watch Shaykh ul Islam's 1 speech or just attend a gathering, simple answer "NO" or it'll b "i aint following a Shaykh wats the point Allah (swt) has given us our own brain to use"

They r no such fans of mehfils, gatherings, conference's etc..which makes it a lot harder 4 me to attend n ask 4 permission. It took me 4 full years just to get permission to attend the dhikr mehfil once a week.

I alwayz think to myself there r parents out there wishin they had kids which loved their religion n were into Islamic activities. People that already hav that r so ungreatful.

well..wat can i say Sad

"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"

"Mujahidah" wrote:

well..wat can i say Sad

dont worry

having such obstacles make one stronger in deen

i think some prophets some members in their family who werent with the deen

but whatever u do don't yell or talk down to them

too many kids try to act like mufti's to their parents

such kids are long over due a slap :evil:

"Mujahidah" wrote:
Asalamualaikum!

I hate sayin this but its the truth, my family are completely opposite to religious.

Its more like me correctin them at times n makin them understand but they rules R rules no matter hw rong or rite they r.

Being the only one that takes Islam seriously, im nt sayin im perfect but basically my whole life is dedicated to my religion n thats thanx to my Shaykh n its mission, if it wasnt 4 him only Allah (swt) knows were i wuld hav been nw.

My family, relatives etc r all into their culture n their life filled wid luv of this world. I've tried many times to make em understand n keep tryin but unfortunately it has neva wrked.

I also asked them just to watch Shaykh ul Islam's 1 speech or just attend a gathering, simple answer "NO" or it'll b "i aint following a Shaykh wats the point Allah (swt) has given us our own brain to use"

They r no such fans of mehfils, gatherings, conference's etc..which makes it a lot harder 4 me to attend n ask 4 permission. It took me 4 full years just to get permission to attend the dhikr mehfil once a week.

I alwayz think to myself there r parents out there wishin they had kids which loved their religion n were into Islamic activities. People that already hav that r so ungreatful.

well..wat can i say Sad

I admire you guys who have soo much commitment to Islam even though your families arent religious (its soo easy to take the wrong path, May Allah keep you on the right path),

It makes me think i shudnt take things for granted, its true what lilsis said, this makes you guys stronger and inshallah one day your family will come round. Also your patience will be rewarded.

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

dont worry

having such obstacles make one stronger in deen

i think some prophets some members in their family who werent with the deen

but whatever u do don't yell or talk down to them

too many kids try to act like mufti's to their parents

such kids are long over due a slap :evil:

True! hardship most times brings u closer to your deen.

Dnt worry i dnt yell at them, its more like the opposite Lol

I aint a mufti n dnt want to act like 1 either, its jus pointless n waste of time as it dnt get u anywere

"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"

"Mujahidah" wrote:

Dnt worry i dnt yell at them, its more like the opposite Lol

thats what I like to see

Sufi Girls Dirol

lol-trust me things can only get better

ur not alone in this dilemna

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

thats what I like to see

Sufi Girls Dirol

lol-trust me things can only get better

ur not alone in this dilemna

Lol ...dats wat i like to hear

"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"

Salaam

Yes, it’s true that those people, who have to deal with obstacles when working for the sake of Islam, get more reward then those people who also work for Islam but have no obstacles in their way.

Stuff like this just makes one stronger in Iman.

But what bugs me is when some kids confident in their newly found knowledge; feel that they’re justified in talking down to their parents. They act like Mufti’s and condemn them in every other breath.

No one likes a preacher. Using harsh words and a condescending tone only breaks ties with relatives and doesn’t solve the problem at hand.

One should let their actions speak louder then words…

Wasalaam

"MuslimSister" wrote:

But what bugs me is when some kids confident in their newly found knowledge; feel that they’re justified in talking down to their parents. They act like Mufti’s and condemn them in every other breath.

The weird thing is these so-called mufti's dont know respect of parents is a very very big thing in Islam!

Also in regards to those who do goodness whilst having obstacles are rewarded more and are seen as very high in the court of Allah (swt) IMO. so all those who have it really tough just think you are in Allah's good books and are being rewarded more for your deeds..... Smile

"angel" wrote:

The weird thing is these so-called mufti's dont know respect of parents is a very very big thing in Islam!

I agree. They need to study the basics of Islam i.e. Adab etc before they can start preaching to others.

I know of people who call their parents "ignorant fools"...thats such a strong word.

I have a mixture of thoughts in my family...the secular extended side of my family often make me laugh.

But I rather deal with secular thoughts rather then cultural, backward thoughts any day.

Salam

Where a family may not be adhering to the tenets of your faith, then it still remains up to you to continue practising the path that you love, in the best way you can, and thereby, providing a good model for all to witness.

Dispair not. But rather be a torch in heart of darkness.

Omrow

"MuslimSister" wrote:
OR do you come from the sort of family who is a lot more religious then you? Is your mum always telling you to cover up (if you’re a girl) or always telling you to grow a beard (if you’re a guy)….

Are they always trying to force you to go to religious programmes that you don’t want to attend?

My family are in that category. I have nothing against Islam, but my parents are always trying to ram it down my throat. This is is partly why I decided to live on campus, to get away from them and their crazy ideas. :roll:

I believe in freedom of choice, if they had their way they'd wrap me up in Black and marry me off to the first desi guy who asks for my hand.

"MuslimSister" wrote:
Salaam

Are you and your family on the same religious wavelength?

erm well kind of,

my bro and dad are more religious i'd say

mum is strict in her own ways BUT cnt seem to miss her drama serials,

the rest of us are fairly religious leaving out lil bro, but not strictly religious how i'd like it.

im working my way forward and tell em off over stuff, but noone listens

so overall we are all kinda kinda on the same wavelength

look up to hadhrat sheikh mawlana yusuf motala sahib (damat barakatuhum)

i think for the next 20 years i'm going to catch up to my parents

the pace is slow but i have this thing in my head that i'll never be as good as them

My family aint religious, I am only person who is namazi in whole bradri, well only young person. The others are my grandad, his 2 bros, one of my relatives in rochdale might be and the rest and free spirits.

Lol, im the only one with a true beard in my family, and lol my beards longer than my grandads alhamdulillah. Btw this aint a rant abt beard, its me expresing my gratitutde to ALLAH for giving me tawfeeq to be the one person in my family who has fulfilled this wajib sunnah. alhamdulillah.

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

"Med" wrote:

Lol, im the only one with a true beard in my family, and lol my beards longer than my grandads alhamdulillah. .

lol Lol

you and your beard!

 

"angel" wrote:
Actually me, my sis and mum were just talking bout this the other day, I personally feel I am so blessed to have parents who approve of things we do with regards to islam. My family and my immediate cousins are very attached to Shaykh-ul-islam and minhaj-ul-Quran. My sis and cuz’s were allowed to go to London to attend Shaykh-ul-Islam’s programmes even though it was far away but becuz my parents knew where they were it didn’t bother them. Also my parents let my sis study at ICIS becuz they knew exactly where they were goin who they were taught by.

Over the past yr or two I have started to enjoy attending Islamic gatherings before I used to find them so “boring” because I didn’t understand the beauty of Islam.

This is thanks to my parents and my uncle who introduced Shaykh-ul-Islam to our lives, May Allah (swt) reward them all. Above all its Allah (swt) mercy and blessing upon us that we are blessed with such an eminent scholar.

exactly same here....except only very recently i stopped percieving Islamic ativities as boring

and my cousins arent into it all, only the odd few

my dad is to thank for all this- showed us the way, and my mum for her patience and understanding

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

"Ramz" wrote:
"MuslimSister" wrote:
OR do you come from the sort of family who is a lot more religious then you? Is your mum always telling you to cover up (if you’re a girl) or always telling you to grow a beard (if you’re a guy)….

Are they always trying to force you to go to religious programmes that you don’t want to attend?

My family are in that category. I have nothing against Islam, but my parents are always trying to ram it down my throat. This is is partly why I decided to live on campus, to get away from them and their crazy ideas. :roll:

I believe in freedom of choice, if they had their way they'd wrap me up in Black and marry me off to the first desi guy who asks for my hand.


Ramz, i know this is gonna sound cliched, but most parents only want wots best for their kids.

btw, r u sure its religion that theyr 'ramming down ur throat', or is it culture?

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

"Ramz" wrote:
My family are in that category. I have nothing against Islam, but my parents are always trying to ram it down my throat. This is is partly why I decided to live on campus, to get away from them and their crazy ideas. :roll:

I believe in freedom of choice, if they had their way they'd wrap me up in Black and marry me off to the first desi guy who asks for my hand.

freedom is one thing but rebeling is another..im sure your parents have the right intention i just feel like yourself they may be going about it in the wrong way. Have you tried sitting down and discussing your views with them?..

I received nothing I wanted
I received everything I needed.
My Prayer has been answered.

"angel" wrote:

I admire you guys who have soo much commitment to Islam even though your families arent religious (its soo easy to take the wrong path, May Allah keep you on the right path),

u admire us... Lol sis wat hav u got to admire me 4 im just a normal Muslim like u n the rest. I commit sins just like the rest do, i consider myself the worst Muslim nt a Muslim that culd b admired :roll:

"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"

I found it normally that most youngster do have support from their family, when i look around the mosque and see all the youngster that do come, you realise that they normally have religious family members as well, which is why they find it so easy when it come too islamic as they have their path kind of set up for them.

"A true Muslim is thankful to Allah in prosperity, and resigned to His will in adversity."

[url=http//

"Mujahidah" wrote:

u admire us... Lol sis wat hav u got to admire me 4 im just a normal Muslim like u n the rest. I commit sins just like the rest do, i consider myself the worst Muslim nt a Muslim that culd b admired :roll:

I admire you guys in the sense that you have to strive more as your family aint "religious" (or in agreement with your religious views) i know it cant be easy. Which is why i am thankful to Allah (swt) for giving me an understanding family.

I mean its easy for those ppl who dont have religious families to go in the wrong path as opposed to the right path, may Allah continue givin you guys strength.

"angel" wrote:

I mean its easy for those ppl who dont have religious families to go in the wrong path as opposed to the right path, .

Very true.

Thats why I started up that thread "Why is it easier to be bad".

Most of my family is very, very liberal. If it wasnt for my mum being strong in deen...I sometimes wonder if I'd have gone astray too.

But at the same time, it does make it easy for some people. I would have hated to be told what Islam was and how I should follow it, i love the fact that islam is about self discovery and i been allow to take my own route. Though it important to have understanding within the family, but i personally found having the parent I have made practicing islam easier, then say when i look at some of my cousins and how much there dad influence them on islamic matters. I feel like my own man, which i wouldn't have if I had someone dictating to me. Also the more someone try to push you away from islam the closer i find you end up going toward it.

"A true Muslim is thankful to Allah in prosperity, and resigned to His will in adversity."

[url=http//

...Its a lot easier to be a sheep though isnt is.

Its much easier to just conform.

"MuslimSister" wrote:
...Its a lot easier to be a sheep though isnt is.

Its much easier to just conform.

It is, but at time there can be a lack of understanding or conviction if you do. I think only after you challenge yourself will you be able to come out stronger, but many parent are scared to let their kids do that and at some time it can be counter productive.

"A true Muslim is thankful to Allah in prosperity, and resigned to His will in adversity."

[url=http//

"angel" wrote:
I admire you guys in the sense that you have to strive more as your family aint "religious" (or in agreement with your religious views) i know it cant be easy. Which is why i am thankful to Allah (swt) for giving me an understanding family.

I mean its easy for those ppl who dont have religious families to go in the wrong path as opposed to the right path, may Allah continue givin you guys strength.

Ameen sum'ameen!

Yes! striving for the religion is hard and cant b that easy, trust me it still isnt but id hav to thank Allah (swt) 4 me guiding towards the rite path n showing me the rite way, givin me the tofeeq to b part of a mission.

Like i sed only Allah (swt) no's were i wuld hav been rite nw.

"May Allah (swt) bless u all.Ameen!"

"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"

Salam

I can say (alhamdulillah) my parents and I are on the same religious wavelength. I sometimes can't believe that I have been blessed with parents as understanding as mine, and alhamduillah they cause no hinderance in any religious activity that I pursue. Sometimes we do have disagreements, but we sit down and manage to resolve them and sometimes they explain to me and sometimes vice versa.

I know that what I am today, is all due to my family (including my extended family) if there was no Islam in my life I don't know where I would be.

Because when I was in my early teens my family (including all my cuz) were all into secular actiivites and didn't pay attention to the religon side of things, but by the Mercy of Allah Almighty and His Beloved Prophet (SAW) we all changed (some faster than others).

Thumbs up to those sisters whose parents are secular and the sisters are religious (may Allah Almighty give you a great reward) and help you make your family aware of the beautiful religion (ameen).

THROUGH LOVE all that is bitter will be sweet.
Through Love all that is copper will be gold.
Through Love all dregs will turn to purest wine.
Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.
Through Love the king will turn into a slave!

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