It's been so long since I blogged!

I'd like to welcome myself back. WELCOME BACK LOOKING TO SEEEEEE!!!!! YAYYY.

okay, so I just had this thought process occur to me, so its all very fresh and confuzzled and might not be expressed in the best-est of ways.

I realised something, but let me take you on my thought process.

I very much like Peter Pan even though I dont think I actually ever read the original book, though I have read and watched many adaptations and spins off etc... (recently I'd been thinking that I need to get my hands on it and read it)

Anyway, I don't know when Peter Pan became so significant in my life, but somehow it did, the idea of never growing up stuck with me. hard.

"I don't want to grow up" is a thought i often have at different stage in my life. ( Now i want to think about when exactly do i have that thought but i wont put your through this)

"i dont want to grow up" thinks Looking to see, every once in a while, realising that every time she thinks this again, she has grown a little bit older than the last time she thought it.

"I don't want to grow up". but i'm old enough to know that this is an impossible thought, I am growing old, and so, to counteract that, I decided to act young and foolish often, as often as possible, at the cost of coming across as annoying sometimes.

I realised that, because I dont want to grow up, and because I know i am, then I try to ACT younger. It made me realise that, (oh man, the thought process was so clear when i thought it up but now its all loose and gone and URgH!) IT MADE ME REALISE THAT. I MUST MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT. because I cherish being young, I dread growing up. So I MUST ENJOY EVERY MOMENT, because in THAT moment, I'm younger!

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now, what is it about growing up that I resent? What is is about being young that I love?

I guess its the lack of responsibility, that sense of freedom - which isnt really freedom, its just that most of our actions have such slight consequences that it feels it's okay whatever we do. There's also the fact that there are so many people looking out for you, "grown ups" who were obviously born like that and whose job is to be disliked by us yet somehow guide us and protect us. Kidding. meet the right kind of grown ups and growing up doesn't seem half bad. It's still not something I enjoy but, I'm grown up enough to know there's no way to fight against it, and I've met grown ups that made me realise that growing up can be interesting and fun and brings on all sorts of good. With every meeting of a younger person, who is going through stages of life I have grown through, making me feel old and grown up, I realise that this is worth it; somehow, those younger ones makes growin up and old worth it - because you get to help someone out - someone that needs you and probably wouldnt be able to make it without you/us.

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So the deal's not too bad. Really Allah made all this so perfectly. maturity of mind and body and thought process, aligning and coordinating all by themselves; being shaped by every single moment that occur to us, we find our place in this temporary life, and it fits.

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questions yet to be further explored:
-why do we feel good when we help someone out.
-talk about the good of being "grown up" or "growing up".

-why do i think "i dont want to grow up"

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so here i am, as young as i'll ever be, writing a blog about the unstoppable fact of growing up. And...I think I'm happy with this moment. GRIN