Editorial: No Sex Please We're Muslim!

By: 
Sajid Iqbal

Yep, I just mentioned the 'S' word. Aren't I naughty! Sex is not a topic that we should be afraid to talk about or brush under the carpet. There is no taboo in Islam.

We live in a society where Britain has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe and an extremely high abortion rate amongst teenage girls. And believe it or not that includes Muslim girls as well.

'Really?' I hear you say.

I present a talk show in a local radio station in Ramadan, and in one show last year a studio guest mentioned that the local priest who visits the abortion clinic stated that the majority of girls who attend to have an abortion at the clinic are Muslim girls who became pregnant by their Muslim boyfriends.

So, do you still think we should shy away from this topic? Is it still a dirty topic?

Now if you don't want your daughter or sister or a close friend to be another statistic at the abortion clinic or your son or brother to be a father in his youth outside marriage then sex education from an Islamic perspective needs to be introduced to the youth... and quick time!

The boy/girlfriend scene amongst Muslims today is so open and common that it's seen as the norm. Zina is the third biggest sin in the eyes of Allah after shirk and murder- yet nowadays it’s almost normal like drinking a cup of tea!

Yes, you get sex education in school but rather than saying no to sex before marriage it just opts for safe sex. Sex education in state school promotes not just nudity but graphic still and video images of sexual activity in mixed classes of boys and girls which is not educating you, but destroying your modesty and damaging your Imaan (faith).

Sex Education in school is still education that we need, but from a Muslim point of view we need a back up and an alternative so that any messages that contradict Islamic teachings can be answered.

And now with politicians debating whether 'sex education' should be taught at primary schools to kids as young as five, I think it's time the Muslim community finally woke up and tackled the issue of sex education rather than either ignoring it or being angered by it.

So we need to ask ourselves: What can we do? What are the alternatives? And who is going to carry them out?

The reality is if children don't take part in sex education classes in school then who is gonna teach em? Parents... I don't think so! Your local Imam from back home who speaks broken English...? Probably a big No No!

So you're either going to learn it from 'your mates' or Shaykh Google.... Don't be surprised then if the youngster has no idea of what Islam says about sexual relationships..

Who's The Governor?!

The first step is to be in control of what you or your child is taught at the school, and to have a voice. The only way to do that is to be a school governor where you can make decisions on the curriculum, school policies and other matters; you don't even need to have a child at the school.

You can apply to be a governor: by directly contacting your school, through your local authority, or through SGOSS (School Governors One Stop Shop).

Sex Education in Mosques?

How's this for an idea? Teenagers are taught in the mosque 1 hour a week by an English speaking teacher about the A-Z of Sex Education according to Islam. So girls are taught by a woman and boys are taught by a man. No parents allowed of course. And you don't just get told 'this is what Islam says'...you discuss and ask any questions you have. You get the opportunity to talk about relationships between men and women, premarital relationships, boy/girlfriends, marriage, divorce, sexual etiquettes, homosexuality, contraception, abortion, STD's and so on - all from an Islamic perspective.

You see teenagers will learn what they will at school, but this way they're guaranteed to have that Islamic education and understanding about sex and relationships. As a result their faith and modesty will stay intact, insha' Allah.

On top of this there should be separate classes for parents with no kids present so that they are also educated about sex education according to Islam, and are trained in how to discuss such issues with their children as this can be the hardest and most uncomfortable thing to do. These classes should not be just on Sex Education, as parents will be hesitant or reluctant to take part, but part of general Islamic Parenting Classes which tackle all issues that parents have to deal in regards to their children from an Islamic perspective such as drugs, alcohol, anti-social behaviour etc.

Just imagine if these classes were available in every mosque, or at least in a few mosques, in every town and city across the UK – wouldn't that be great? Providing service for teenagers and above, and their parents in the masjid which is the centre point of the Muslim community!

Yes it's a challenge that has its difficulties and obstacles but a challenge we must accept and succeed in.

The next time we talk about Sex Education classes at schools or teenage pregnancies or abortions or Muslim boy/girlfriends we need to ask ourselves: What are we doing about this? Setting up these classes in mosques across the UK should not be difficult - it's about changing our mentalities and understanding the challenges that face us.

National Campaign

The Revival will insha' Allah start a national campaign in support of Sex Education in accordance to Islam to be taught in our mosques so that we can educate our youngsters - and even parents - about this issue, and also tackle the issue of premarital sex, teenage pregnancies and abortion.

This affects us all. It affects you. It affects me. It affects your son and daughter. It affects your brother and sister, nephew and niece. This is for our future, our future generations. The Revival needs your support to make this become a reality.

What Can I Do?

Firstly you can contact The Revival and tell us what you think of this campaign.

Secondly, you need to discuss this in your homes, with friends and families.

Finally you need to pass this message at your local mosque and get them to back this idea.

Sex is not a dirty thing. Its normal and natural and the world will stop without it. We just need to be educated about it from the teachings of Quran and sunnah so we don't fall in to the dodgy-dealings of premarital sex, teenage pregnancies and abortions.

The Revival Sex Education in Mosque Campaign has begun....

Send your comments and queries to: or

Note: For more details on becoming a school governor contact:
T: 020 7354 9805 E: W: www.sgoss.org.uk

RELATED TOPIC: SEX EDUCATION: LETS TALK SHOW

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Comments

You
Member since:
24 June 2005
Last activity:
5 hours 3 min

The Revival Sex Education in Mosque Campaign has begun...

Hell no!

The school is the right place - qualified teachers competently teaching a subject. As it should be.

Its time to be angry.

MuslimBro
Member since:
11 May 2006
Last activity:
2 years 11 months

That was also my response.

TheRevivalEditor
Member since:
25 June 2005
Last activity:
9 months 3 days

It looks like you two have missed the point then Smile

Sephy (not verified)

TheRevivalEditor wrote:
It looks like you two have missed the point then Smile

And this makes you smile?

TheRevivalEditor
Member since:
25 June 2005
Last activity:
9 months 3 days

Sephy wrote:
TheRevivalEditor wrote:
It looks like you two have missed the point then Smile

And this makes you smile?

smile and the whole world smiles with you

TheRevivalEditor
Member since:
25 June 2005
Last activity:
9 months 3 days

my point is ASWELL AS sex education classes we need classes in mosques from an Islamic perspective
school tells you about safe sex- Islam says no sex before marriage
school does not discourage boy/girlfriends- Islam says it is haram
school teaches sex education in mixed boy and girl classes- again this is Unislamic and kills your modesty (hayaa)
school show images/dvd of nudity which is graphic- again not very Islamic
school has to promote homosexuality as the norm- again a big no no

now with all the above if there is no sex education from islamic perspective how will the teenager know the teachings and practise of Islam eg. quran n sunnah on relationships with opp sex, intermixing, sex before marriage, zina in islam, zina of eyes, hands, ears etc ,homosexuality in islam, mahran n non mahram, issue of ghusl, marriage in islam, sexual ettiquettes in islam, contraception in islam, abortion, overcoming sexual desire etc etc...

sex education in school is important as it teaches u reproduction system, std's etc but there are alot of messages which contradict Islam and therefore along side these classes the youth need to be taught about sex education from an Islamic perspectve.

Its not rocket science:-)

MuslimBro
Member since:
11 May 2006
Last activity:
2 years 11 months

And what I said was instead of having classes specifically on sex education, maybe have parenting classes where sex education is taught as part of the curriculum.

TPOS
Member since:
8 November 2008
Last activity:
1 day 4 min

I think this idea is great!

MuslimBro wrote:
And what I said was instead of having classes specifically on sex education, maybe have parenting classes where sex education is taught as part of the curriculum.

That makes sense too.

But are the parents likely to attend?...that's if it even gets set up!

@Sephy, I've noticed Ed does those freaky smiles after disagreeing with someone. o.O

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

MuslimBro
Member since:
11 May 2006
Last activity:
2 years 11 months

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:
But are the parents likely to attend?...that's if it even gets set up!

So parents are not likely to attend parenting classes, but they are willing to attend sex education classes....
TheRevivalEditor
Member since:
25 June 2005
Last activity:
9 months 3 days

MuslimBro wrote:
ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:
But are the parents likely to attend?...that's if it even gets set up!

So parents are not likely to attend parenting classes, but they are willing to attend sex education classes....

the article states classes for parents should not be just on sex education but part of general parenting classes which cover other parenting issues like anti-social behaviour, drugs etc...

parents attend or not is not the issue, they need to be available and due to time they will become accepted inshallah.

Anonymous345 (not verified)

This is imperative, but the underlying issue is the lack of an Islamic input at all in the system, especially where there are large population of Muslims in particular areas. Darwinism has totally evaporated God from the curriculum, and it is a duty for all Muslim parents to at least be governors, or furthermore, send children, especially daughters, to Islamic school.

The concept of 'restraint' has been lost, especially with the advent of vending-contraception.

s.b.f
Member since:
1 October 2008
Last activity:
1 hour 59 min

So who's parents are likely to attend these classes? (I mean here on therevival).

 

TheRevivalEditor
Member since:
25 June 2005
Last activity:
9 months 3 days

the next big step is to see what responce we get to the article

i will be writing a letter which we will send to all mosques/Islamic centres and gradually publicise the campaign.

Once a few classes start especially for the youth, inshallah it will catch on....

s.b.f
Member since:
1 October 2008
Last activity:
1 hour 59 min

You're going to start where with this? Oldham?

 

TheRevivalEditor
Member since:
25 June 2005
Last activity:
9 months 3 days

s.b.f wrote:
Your going to start where with this? Oldham?

again depends on responce. Since Oldham is local then maybe its a good starting point....

You
Member since:
24 June 2005
Last activity:
5 hours 3 min

I feel sorry for the kids of oldham already.

Molvi: "when you want children, you read two nafl of salaatul haajaat.
Student: "so why do non Muslims have so many kids?"
Molvi: "shut up. back in my days, students respected their teachers. We are at the end of times where there is no respect!"

@ Ed - are you aware of any Muslim kids who are not aware that intmate relationships outside marriage are haraam?

Its time to be angry.

Anonymous. (not verified)

Asalaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa bara kata hu..

i think having classes will give the youth a chance to learn what is acceptable and what is not according to the shar'iah, also they will have knowledge which is going to be very valuable to them in their youth. Zina of all kinds is really bad and they should know its haraam. however the "S" word which keeps being mentioned openly is not right, although we live in the west that does not mean we talk about things in the open like them. Yes every muslim must be educated in these matters but by keeping Haya (modesty)and discussing these matters publicly with sisters and brothers mixed aynt really modest is it?

Anonymous. (not verified)

Ocean wrote:
Can I reply? Please don't mind but GROW UP!!

Also, if u feel uncomfortable, try using alternatives like shmekhx (remember the KH, KH sound)


Asalaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa bara kata hu...

Ok sister i take it, "grow up"?
what have i said that has offended you so much?

MuslimBro
Member since:
11 May 2006
Last activity:
2 years 11 months

Whenever I used to mention the word when I was young, I couldn't just say the word, so always used to spell it out.

S....E....X

Anonymous. (not verified)

Asalaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa bara kata hu.....
there is nothing wrong with using the word but would you openly sit with your cousin brothers or even mahram and talk about that "s" word in detail or even mention it at all? im not saying you shouldnt learn about it but the word Haya wasnt created for nothing you have to be respectful and talking about it openly with the opposite gender in my eyes isnt really approapriate and as it is a site for the youth it shows that its ok to be free and talk about issues like that openly. im not being judgemental or and inshAllah forgive me for any mistakes i made

You
Member since:
24 June 2005
Last activity:
5 hours 3 min

I can remember as a kid people used to spell out the word P I G.

I always found it stupid.

It also does not work as well on the 'net.

@anonymous. - this site is not supposed to be for kids. Well, it is, but also not. No one so yound as to not know about the S word should be on here. I will corrupt their mind, so its for their own good.

As for adults, well, people say why is it discussed openly, and that at the time of the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) it was always discussed in a hushed tone - I have no diea where they get that from - a principle of Islam is that there is no shame in religion - when it comes to religious matters, things should be spoken openly and plainly.

I also am sure I have come across atleast one instance of ahadith where the conversation was not carried out in a hushed manner...

As long as peopel retain haya and do not use this as an opportunity to break the rules that Islam lays down, there is no problem.

Its time to be angry.

Anonymous. (not verified)

Asalaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa bara kata hu...
please provide the hadith you are refering to thank you.

MuslimBro
Member since:
11 May 2006
Last activity:
2 years 11 months

Ocean wrote:
Remember this?

Smile
Eye contact
eXcitement

LOL


How can I forget.

You wrote:
I can remember as a kid people used to spell out the word P I G.

Ditto.
You
Member since:
24 June 2005
Last activity:
5 hours 3 min

Anonymous. wrote:
Asalaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa bara kata hu...
please provide the hadith you are refering to thank you.

I can't find it.

Its time to be angry.

Anonymous. (not verified)

Asalaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa bara kata hu...
Oh ok it would of been helpful but its ok then i suppose.

TheRevivalEditor
Member since:
25 June 2005
Last activity:
9 months 3 days

You wrote:
I feel sorry for the kids of oldham already.

Molvi: "when you want children, you read two nafl of salaatul haajaat.
Student: "so why do non Muslims have so many kids?"
Molvi: "shut up. back in my days, students respected their teachers. We are at the end of times where there is no respect!"

@ Ed - are you aware of any Muslim kids who are not aware that intmate relationships outside marriage are haraam?

so you think that muslim teenagers dont need any education on sex from an Islamic perspective?

for you sex education in school is enough which prmotes zina, encourages contraceptions for teens, promotes homosexuality, discusses sexual matters in mixed classes....????

you dont feel they need to know what quran n sunnah say about intermixing, mahram n non mahram, boy/girlfriends, zina in islam, controlling sexual desire islamically, what islam says on contraception, islam on homosexuality, islam on marriage etc ...........THESE ARE ALL CRUCIAL. YES KIDS KNOW HAVING A BOY/GIRLFRIEND IS HARAM BUT SEX EDUCATION FROM QURAN N SUNNAH IS MORE THAN JUST KNOWING THAT.

I'm shocked ppl need to be convinced on this...

may be we should rip out all the tonne sof ahadith and Islamic text on sex in Islam....

..and forget reviving mosques in teaching us what we need so we can tackle teenage pregnancies, teen abortions, phenomena of biy/girlfriend...

i suppose we just want mosques fo rlearning to read quran, read salah, jummah, funerals and thats it.... then we moan why our youth are away from Islam... lol

Looking To See
Member since:
24 December 2008
Last activity:
3 months 1 week

i've survived sex ed in state school. but i guess its because i already knew the basics of the islamic point of view, and i was convinced by them and believed in them.

i remember getting realy worried and grossed out by the nurse's lecture. but then i thought "wait...that's all happen if [you do all them things that arent allowed in Islam] So i'm SAFE Smile " then i could stop paying attention and started daydreaming (great view from the sixth floor, i gotta admit"

but what im saying is, i was able to voice my opinion and say how i feel, i wasnt forced to say "homosexuality is right" and i could just ignore all the stuff about contraception and boyfriends... except i gotta say, they repeated a few times "the best contraception is just NOT going it" so...

also, sex ed isnt just about that, it includes cancer awareness and selfesteem stuff etc... cant see an imaam teaching about breast cancer, or parents for that matter, i htnk it needs professionals.

plus now they include religious point of view in S.E.

i guess a well written book given to all muslims kids would be a good idea. actually a GREAT idea, because who wanna hear abt all that private stuff from parents/mosque? BUT the relationship with parents should be that if you have any questions you should be able to ask them.

i remember having to tell my friends "this is allowed in islam" and they would be like RREAAALLLYY>????

i also believe that when it comes to S.E boys and girls are separated, but cant tell for sure, went to singlesex school.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

You
Member since:
24 June 2005
Last activity:
5 hours 3 min

YES KIDS KNOW HAVING A BOY/GIRLFRIEND IS HARAM BUT SEX EDUCATION FROM QURAN N SUNNAH IS MORE THAN JUST KNOWING THAT.

What is it?

may be we should rip out all the tonne sof ahadith and Islamic text on sex in Islam....

Now you're over reacting. Here's the thing - the mechanics are all the same and they are neutral territory. They can be taught by anyone who is qualified to do so, and I think a school is a good place as the teachers are qualified to teach it.

Let me ad further that I think it is a sign of a flawed system where essential education is provided outside of school hours.

If you want a campaign, what yo should push for is that when this is taught, maybe have some religious teachers teach their bit for a few hours during the school hours through the normal school activities.

Its time to be angry.

TPOS
Member since:
8 November 2008
Last activity:
1 day 4 min

MuslimBro wrote:
ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:
But are the parents likely to attend?...that's if it even gets set up!

So parents are not likely to attend parenting classes, but they are willing to attend sex education classes....

I mean both classes

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

TPOS
Member since:
8 November 2008
Last activity:
1 day 4 min

Lilly wrote:

but what im saying is, i was able to voice my opinion and say how i feel, i wasnt forced to say "homosexuality is right" and i could just ignore all the stuff about contraception and boyfriends... except i gotta say, they repeated a few times "the best contraception is just NOT going it" so...

that really was just for UNDER-AGE sex
Quote:

also, sex ed isnt just about that, it includes cancer awareness and selfesteem stuff etc... cant see an imaam teaching about breast cancer, or parents for that matter, i htnk it needs professionals.
I think the campaign is all about getting over the shame the taboo-ness of it all. Yes ofcourse bringing in professionals would be a good idea but they would need to give the Islamic point of view too.
Quote:

plus now they include religious point of view in S.E.
They do?? I never got that in S.E (but I did in R.E)

I don't think you can trust or rely on a school providing S.E which is compliant with Islam.

And yeah, this campaign may not work. And yeah it could be embarrassing for parents, teachers and children but it's gotta be done. And you gotta atleast try to make it work.

@ Ed, sorry i had to correct you; responce is spelt response! Blum 3

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

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