Editorial: No Sex Please We're Muslim!

By: 
Sajid Iqbal

Yep, I just mentioned the 'S' word. Aren't I naughty! Sex is not a topic that we should be afraid to talk about or brush under the carpet. There is no taboo in Islam.

We live in a society where Britain has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe and an extremely high abortion rate amongst teenage girls. And believe it or not that includes Muslim girls as well.

'Really?' I hear you say.

I present a talk show in a local radio station in Ramadan, and in one show last year a studio guest mentioned that the local priest who visits the abortion clinic stated that the majority of girls who attend to have an abortion at the clinic are Muslim girls who became pregnant by their Muslim boyfriends.

So, do you still think we should shy away from this topic? Is it still a dirty topic?

Now if you don't want your daughter or sister or a close friend to be another statistic at the abortion clinic or your son or brother to be a father in his youth outside marriage then sex education from an Islamic perspective needs to be introduced to the youth... and quick time!

The boy/girlfriend scene amongst Muslims today is so open and common that it's seen as the norm. Zina is the third biggest sin in the eyes of Allah after shirk and murder- yet nowadays it’s almost normal like drinking a cup of tea!

Yes, you get sex education in school but rather than saying no to sex before marriage it just opts for safe sex. Sex education in state school promotes not just nudity but graphic still and video images of sexual activity in mixed classes of boys and girls which is not educating you, but destroying your modesty and damaging your Imaan (faith).

Sex Education in school is still education that we need, but from a Muslim point of view we need a back up and an alternative so that any messages that contradict Islamic teachings can be answered.

And now with politicians debating whether 'sex education' should be taught at primary schools to kids as young as five, I think it's time the Muslim community finally woke up and tackled the issue of sex education rather than either ignoring it or being angered by it.

So we need to ask ourselves: What can we do? What are the alternatives? And who is going to carry them out?

The reality is if children don't take part in sex education classes in school then who is gonna teach em? Parents... I don't think so! Your local Imam from back home who speaks broken English...? Probably a big No No!

So you're either going to learn it from 'your mates' or Shaykh Google.... Don't be surprised then if the youngster has no idea of what Islam says about sexual relationships..

Who's The Governor?!

The first step is to be in control of what you or your child is taught at the school, and to have a voice. The only way to do that is to be a school governor where you can make decisions on the curriculum, school policies and other matters; you don't even need to have a child at the school.

You can apply to be a governor: by directly contacting your school, through your local authority, or through SGOSS (School Governors One Stop Shop).

Sex Education in Mosques?

How's this for an idea? Teenagers are taught in the mosque 1 hour a week by an English speaking teacher about the A-Z of Sex Education according to Islam. So girls are taught by a woman and boys are taught by a man. No parents allowed of course. And you don't just get told 'this is what Islam says'...you discuss and ask any questions you have. You get the opportunity to talk about relationships between men and women, premarital relationships, boy/girlfriends, marriage, divorce, sexual etiquettes, homosexuality, contraception, abortion, STD's and so on - all from an Islamic perspective.

You see teenagers will learn what they will at school, but this way they're guaranteed to have that Islamic education and understanding about sex and relationships. As a result their faith and modesty will stay intact, insha' Allah.

On top of this there should be separate classes for parents with no kids present so that they are also educated about sex education according to Islam, and are trained in how to discuss such issues with their children as this can be the hardest and most uncomfortable thing to do. These classes should not be just on Sex Education, as parents will be hesitant or reluctant to take part, but part of general Islamic Parenting Classes which tackle all issues that parents have to deal in regards to their children from an Islamic perspective such as drugs, alcohol, anti-social behaviour etc.

Just imagine if these classes were available in every mosque, or at least in a few mosques, in every town and city across the UK – wouldn't that be great? Providing service for teenagers and above, and their parents in the masjid which is the centre point of the Muslim community!

Yes it's a challenge that has its difficulties and obstacles but a challenge we must accept and succeed in.

The next time we talk about Sex Education classes at schools or teenage pregnancies or abortions or Muslim boy/girlfriends we need to ask ourselves: What are we doing about this? Setting up these classes in mosques across the UK should not be difficult - it's about changing our mentalities and understanding the challenges that face us.

National Campaign

The Revival will insha' Allah start a national campaign in support of Sex Education in accordance to Islam to be taught in our mosques so that we can educate our youngsters - and even parents - about this issue, and also tackle the issue of premarital sex, teenage pregnancies and abortion.

This affects us all. It affects you. It affects me. It affects your son and daughter. It affects your brother and sister, nephew and niece. This is for our future, our future generations. The Revival needs your support to make this become a reality.

What Can I Do?

Firstly you can contact The Revival and tell us what you think of this campaign.

Secondly, you need to discuss this in your homes, with friends and families.

Finally you need to pass this message at your local mosque and get them to back this idea.

Sex is not a dirty thing. Its normal and natural and the world will stop without it. We just need to be educated about it from the teachings of Quran and sunnah so we don't fall in to the dodgy-dealings of premarital sex, teenage pregnancies and abortions.

The Revival Sex Education in Mosque Campaign has begun....

Send your comments and queries to: editor@therevival.co.uk or revival_group@yahoo.co.uk

Note: For more details on becoming a school governor contact:
T: 020 7354 9805 E: info@sgoss.org.uk W: www.sgoss.org.uk

RELATED TOPIC: SEX EDUCATION: LETS TALK SHOW

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Comments

I am a 20 year old student in south africa..having read your article on "no sex please we're muslim", I am delighted that there are still older muslims in this world who are concerned about our islamic future rather than the secular part of it..may Al-Mighty Allaah bless you and everyone involved in this campaign,I pray that it grows from strength to strength and would love to spearhead such a campaign in S.Africa someday Inshaa-Allah, Aameen...yours in the revival of deen, Hafez Maseehullah Suliman

As salamu alaykoum,

I think that's a very good idea and it would be really helpful to the youth. Some of them can't ask any question about this topic at home. I can well imagine that at school in a mixed class they will be surely too shy to ask about such things. But at the mosque in a single sec class and with a qualified teacher it could be very usefull for them inshallah.
Try to realize this project inshallah. I'm sure there will be also a lot of resistance from some parents but at the end you could convince them inshallah.
I wish you much success !
wa salam, Um Yassin

and even if it wasnt successful with the older generation parents, inshallah it should be okay with the newer-ish generation.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

I read an article on BBC News recently - actually I stuck it in the forums here too - which was about the fury in Pakistan when someone decided that teaching sex education from an Islamic sources and writing a book about it was a good idea.

Do we erally want to go down that road?

It is needed and it needs to be taught by competent teachers. So that means in schools.

If you are not happy with it being taught in schools due to how they operate, you need to get involved with the schools and help change them into better institutions where you no longer have issues with it being taught.

Its time to be angry.

i dont see the problem?

Sex by Islam is different to Sex by state school. however much you're going to get "involved" with the school, they arent going to start the islamic way of sex ed.

i dont understand your point? just because there was "fury" wrongly so in Pakistan doesnt mean it wouldnt work here.

It would be fine if sex. ed in state school and the islamic one were similar, but they arent are they?

promoting contraception, homosexuality is okay, etc.. fine for those kids whose parents are correcting the wrong and giving them resources and the right knowledge, but thats a minority. Most kid's only sex ed. comes from school. and if you're muslim its not going to work out great.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

there is the factual side and the social side.

The facts are about how the body works...

contraception is allowed in Islam.

Homosexuality and any sex outside marriage is not, but this does not require the entire teaching of everything to be taken away from the schools who have the qualified teachers who can teach the subject.

Most kid's only sex ed. comes from school. and if you're muslim its not going to work out great.

but even here, I would say all/most Muslim kids know what Islam says about things and what the limits are, even if they were not taught them in a proper class environment. SUre, they may choose to ignore them, but that is a different issue.

Its time to be angry.

Where's YouShutUp when you need him?

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

we cant rely on secular schools to teach our kids about sex. someone said its ok if the biological aspect is taught. but idisagree with that too. i mean the graphic content with videos is obviously a problem for muslim kids, but so is the graphic speech the teacher uses, its totally unacceptable in a mixed class.

why are they mixed, im sure most girls and boys would prefer separate classes for this.

also no matter how u campaign in schools, it will always be devoid of a religious perspective, i think they encourage safe sex, rather than abstinance, surely kids under the legal age should be taught abstinance? It not a religious idea it's logical especially for kids who have just emerged out of their nappies. it seems instead with a bunch of free contraception theyre encouraged to go out and have meaningful relationships that last a weekend or a few weeks.

i think teachers in mosques for sisters and brothers is a good idea, the best yet. but i also think as cringeworthy as it may sound to parents like it or not its their duty to teach sex education to their kids. they don't have to be experts, get a islamic book that explains all the typical questions and go armed to have that chat with your child. where possible fathers teach the boys, mothers the girls. that way kids will also know i can speak to my parents about this, it wont be so awkward, and more importantly the parental duty is done.

You said most muslim kids know about sex from islamic perspective. i don't think they do fully. they know sex outside marriage is a sin, but i don't think they know how serious, the punishment that awaits them. Same with having a relationship outside marriage many think its a minor sin.

“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]

Many young people don't understand the mental, emotional and spiritual consequences of sleeping with someone too soon.

"If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything!"

Motto of Outlandish

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