Weddings!

MuslimSister —

Salaam

Its wedding season, many weddings are taking place these days.

I’ve always really loved weddings; they’re such joyous occasions…. However, I do have some issues regarding weddings that I wish to raise.

Firstly, the extravagance that takes place these days is unbelievable…I’m not advocating being a cheapskate, but one should really spend according to their means and should not splash out unnecessary things i.e. hiring out numerous limo’s, getting ice sculptures carved, hiring out extremely expensive venues in the countryside... which all puts people into debt

And why are weddings SO long? How long does it say to say “Kabool”? Must weddings drag on for hours and hours?

Dancing is another issue…personally I love dancing even though my parents always tell me not to…..I don’t see a problem with dancing if there are no males present and if nothing gets recording….I don’t know what Islam says about this though.

But I know that dancing in front of boys is definitely wrong. It’s not right for a woman to dance in front of her dad, uncles, cousins and other strange men…

That’s another thing, why aren’t all weddings segregated? If they were all segregated, women could wear/do whatever they wanted to without any restrictions…

Also, to me weddings are all about the bride. But why is it that, people rate the bride when she enters the wedding hall. Everybody cranes their neck and falls all over themselves to see if the guy's wife-to-be is fit or not.

This is so wrong, what business do strange men have in the Fitness of another man's women!?

And then after everyone rates her she has to sit there like a doll for hours and hours getting bogged out by everyone. Again, ALL weddings should be segregated.

Also, I’ve always believed that if any aspect of culture does not contradict the teachings of Islam then there is nothing wrong with it…and I’ve always been a fan of the “Mehndi” ritual….But some of the rituals that seem to go on in weddings seem to stem out of superstition…or are just plain ridiculous.

e.g taking money and twirling it around the bride/groom's head to take off "nazaar" (the evil eye), oiling the door before the bride enters the home, throwing rice etc etc

Please share your views on all of the above.

Wasalaam

Forum

Beast — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 13:06

You got me. 😉

[size=7]Except the zits and shop assistant bit. I haven't gotten that far up the career-ladder yet. [/size]

Alisha — Fri, 3 Mar 2006 - 09:32

[b]the first pic looks amazing of the stage :)[/b]

Anonymous (not verified) — Fri, 3 Mar 2006 - 09:39

[quote="Alisha"][b]the first pic looks amazing of the stage :)[/b][/quote]

Shukren 🙂 - my wedding isnt going to be so opulent

MuslimSister — Fri, 3 Mar 2006 - 13:03

Very pretty pictures Mashallah. Worthy of being printed in Asian Bride magazine.

Personally, I'd be more than happy getting married in my tiny back garden.

Angel — Fri, 3 Mar 2006 - 13:40

Wow thats beautiful, my cuz had somethin very similar to that....sis is gona go for that type of stage too.

Anonymous (not verified) — Fri, 3 Mar 2006 - 15:26

[quote="MuslimSister"]Very pretty pictures Mashallah. Worthy of being printed in Asian Bride magazine.

Personally, I'd be more than happy getting married in my tiny back garden.[/quote]

I agree with the simple wedding, a marriage is between the man, wife and Allah swt but with Asians seems to involve everyone as well. :roll:

Make sure it’s not a garden in London, you don’t get allot of backyard space in the capital.

yashmaki — Sat, 4 Mar 2006 - 11:10

we've got a sixty foot garden it should be lawned soon, you're welcome to use ours MS 😉

Most asians live crammed in a 3 bedroomed terraced house. All my guji mates have very modest weddings in their homes. Usually all the men go to one cousins house women go to the brides house. Call me boring but i like it like that. Less hassle for those organising. You get homecooked food, which is always better than those provided by caterers...least that's what i think 😉

Anonymous (not verified) — Sat, 4 Mar 2006 - 11:14

[quote="yashmaki"]we've got a sixty foot garden it should be lawned soon, you're welcome to use ours MS :wink:[/quote]

Sounds like a trap me 😂 , does MS have to mow the lawn? :shock:

yashmaki — Sat, 4 Mar 2006 - 11:16

ahahah, no it won't have grown much it'll be new. Her guests can stamp the turf into place. enough room for a marqee nice spring wedding 🙂

MuslimSister — Sun, 5 Mar 2006 - 14:38

Lol-my back garden is tiny. But if I was to keep the kids in the garden, the women in the back room, the men in the front room and my mates in my bedroom…it should be more than enough room for 50-80 people (I hope). :?

It’s true that that’s how Guji’s have their weddings… simplicity is the best.

Mez — Sun, 5 Mar 2006 - 15:56

(*_Khamzat the the hall looks very posh and cool!! 😛

Anonymous (not verified) — Sun, 5 Mar 2006 - 16:44

[quote="MuslimSister"]

It’s true that that’s how Guji’s have their weddings… simplicity is the best.[/quote]

That's true. 🙂

I still have fond memories of the smaller type weddings compare to the large bollywood themed ones. To be honest my brother didn’t want to make a fuss about his wedding but was “people in the background” pushing him to have a lavish wedding.

[quote="Mez"](*_Khamzat the the hall looks very posh and cool!![/quote]

Posh........ lol. I’d prefer to say it looks regal, nah images can be deceiving- the wedding main cost was the hall

Omrow — Mon, 6 Mar 2006 - 02:27

Ripon and Shumi cannot be accused of lack of extravagance.

yashmaki — Mon, 6 Mar 2006 - 09:07

both my eldest siblings had lavish weddings. They were pushed into it, but had they made a big enough fuss it would have been downgraded with a lot of attitude, but even so they would have got their way right?

My sisters wedding bills cost ten years to pay off. I remember when my big brothers wedding came around they were still paying my sisters bills. So i don't feel sorry for these kids, or parents. Speak up or pay up for the rest of your life 8)

Live within your means, if you can afford a big bash that's great. if you can't then ditch the airs and graces of a princess, and be content with a small function.

MuslimSister — Mon, 6 Mar 2006 - 09:52

That’s true...I’m sure if kids kicked up a big enough fuss they could easily get their parents to NOT fork out thousands and thousands of pounds over unnecessary expenditure.

Maybe the kids can diplomatically suggest that such money would be much better used for a deposit in a new flat, a car or furniture or whatever.

It’s not about affording it or not…the Prophet ﷺ said that there are blessings in small, simple weddings. Marriage is hard work as it is…wouldn’t one want to start their marriage with as many blessings as they can get?

MuslimSisLilSis — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:13

my ideal wedding wud be similar to the pic posted above 8)

but the lighting would be WAY better

Anonymous (not verified) — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:14

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]my ideal wedding wud be similar to the pic posted above 8)

but the lighting would be WAY better[/quote]

Then marry a pious Bengali brother!

😉

MuslimSisLilSis — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:17

[quote="(*_Khamzat"]
Then marry a pious Bengali brother!

:wink:[/quote]

why?

are the big on good lighting/spotlights etc in weddings?

btw pious ppl wouldnt be so OTT (I heard)

Anonymous (not verified) — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:26

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]

why?

are the big on good lighting/spotlights etc in weddings?

btw pious ppl wouldnt be so OTT (I heard)[/quote]

When one’s a doctor and his wife to be is a producer for BBC Cambridge, and the only daughter, it’s only natural a big fuss is brewed.

And Yes- Bengalis are very big on weddings. The ones that can afford it.

But not me.

*DUST* — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:27

shazan did u guys have to hire someone seperately to do up the stage?

MuslimSisLilSis — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:29

Paki's are the same (guji's are the tight ones :twisted: )

a successful or beloved son/daugher is not usually even a reason to splash out

parents push flashy weddings for show-and daughters just usually wish to be a princess for the day 8)

Anonymous (not verified) — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:29

[quote="*DUST*"]Shazan did u guys have to hire someone seperately to do up the stage?[/quote]

Yes- would you like to name of the staging company? They also provided the catering.

P.S I edited your quote and used a capital "S" for Shazan 🙂

*DUST* — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:36

[quote="(*_Khamzat"]Yes- would you like to name of the staging company? They also provided the catering.[/quote]
go on then. do they have a website by any chance?

[quote="(*_Khamzat"]P.S I edited your quote and used a capital "S" for Shazan :)[/quote]
lol oops, sorry [i][b][size=15]S[/size][/b][/i]hazan. 😛

Anonymous (not verified) — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:44

[quote="*DUST*"] do they have a website by any chance?
[/quote]

No website, only a telephone number, unless you want me to paste a random Wedding staging websites from the Muslim Directory?

lol, my name is Khamzat not Shazan

*DUST* — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:48

[quote="(*_Khamzat"]No website, only a telephone number, unless you want me to paste a random Wedding staging websites from the Muslim Directory?[/quote]
lol no no, i was just referring to the people who did the stage at your bros wedding, a name and phone no. should suffice.

yashmaki — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 17:54

Bengalis always go ott with weddings whether they can afford it or not. money is no objection to them as long as loans are available they seem to think they're loaded, til the bills start catching up :roll:

Pakistanis are the same from what i've seen.

You get exceptions but these two groups of ppl seem too extravagant for their own good.

Ott weddings but they can barely pay the rent on their 3 bedroom homes one word comes to mind...won't say it though

Anonymous (not verified) — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 18:26

[quote="*DUST*"]
lol no no, i was just referring to the people who did the stage at your bros wedding, a name and phone no. should suffice.[/quote]

I’ve delegated the question to my mother she’s we find out soon Insha’Allah and then I’ll pass it on to you, if I remember correctly, the staging company have a catalogue- you could ask for a copy, when I give you the number

[quote="yashmaki"]Bengalis always go ott with weddings whether they can afford it or not. money is no objection to them as long as loans are available they seem to think they're loaded, til the bills start catching up :roll: [/quote]

Definitely Muslim need to sort out their priorities. And taking out a loan (a riba based loan) could even make the marriage invalid from what my uncle told me. [b]clarification anyone? [/b]

True- the reasons why some South Asian Muslim like opting for a lavish wedding are because of bollywood in my opinion. My eldest brother and middle sister had a modest wedding

Saadia Khan — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 20:50

salaam nothing wrong with big

i want a big wedding, i want a big house too, i also want a big family lol
i like big things lol wink

Dave — Wed, 8 Mar 2006 - 20:58

lol i've resigned to my great big wedding now. The price tag is absurd but it's her biggest big day and it really is making her happy.

But she's surprised visited me so my attention is needed elsewhere

Adios!