Weddings!

MuslimSister —

Salaam

Its wedding season, many weddings are taking place these days.

I’ve always really loved weddings; they’re such joyous occasions…. However, I do have some issues regarding weddings that I wish to raise.

Firstly, the extravagance that takes place these days is unbelievable…I’m not advocating being a cheapskate, but one should really spend according to their means and should not splash out unnecessary things i.e. hiring out numerous limo’s, getting ice sculptures carved, hiring out extremely expensive venues in the countryside... which all puts people into debt

And why are weddings SO long? How long does it say to say “Kabool”? Must weddings drag on for hours and hours?

Dancing is another issue…personally I love dancing even though my parents always tell me not to…..I don’t see a problem with dancing if there are no males present and if nothing gets recording….I don’t know what Islam says about this though.

But I know that dancing in front of boys is definitely wrong. It’s not right for a woman to dance in front of her dad, uncles, cousins and other strange men…

That’s another thing, why aren’t all weddings segregated? If they were all segregated, women could wear/do whatever they wanted to without any restrictions…

Also, to me weddings are all about the bride. But why is it that, people rate the bride when she enters the wedding hall. Everybody cranes their neck and falls all over themselves to see if the guy's wife-to-be is fit or not.

This is so wrong, what business do strange men have in the Fitness of another man's women!?

And then after everyone rates her she has to sit there like a doll for hours and hours getting bogged out by everyone. Again, ALL weddings should be segregated.

Also, I’ve always believed that if any aspect of culture does not contradict the teachings of Islam then there is nothing wrong with it…and I’ve always been a fan of the “Mehndi” ritual….But some of the rituals that seem to go on in weddings seem to stem out of superstition…or are just plain ridiculous.

e.g taking money and twirling it around the bride/groom's head to take off "nazaar" (the evil eye), oiling the door before the bride enters the home, throwing rice etc etc

Please share your views on all of the above.

Wasalaam

Forum

You — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 - 00:19

well that would then be an impressive finale.

(no idea what is being discussed... I will check in a minute just to see wether my post is tasteless or not...)

*DUST* — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 - 07:59

[quote="Admin"]well that would then be an impressive finale.

(no idea what is being discussed... I will check in a minute just to see wether my post is tasteless or not...)[/quote]
lol

*DUST* — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 - 12:37

[quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam

wats with the rice throwing thats sooo haraam,and its totally cultural i find it really annoying when brides do that at weddings. i mean its Rizak from Allah they throw it then ppl walk all over it :shock: i dont get the significance of it any way, any 1 know y they do it!!![/quote]
is this just a pakistani thing or do bengalis do it too?

yashmaki — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 - 12:49

i don't know if they do it back home. But here they tend to throw fresh flower petals a lot or sprinkle rose water everywhere. That's what i've seen anyway.

aherm we used fresh flowers for my siblings weddings. At my sisters wedding i was one of 10 flower girls ahhaah. You know like that movie Come into America, there was a path of flowers where ever the royals walked . Otherwise baloons over their heads popped to shower flowers over their heads loool. Wasn't my idea i was just a kid.

Talking of weddings one of my siblings is getting married this weekend. It'll be a small do. I still need to get a gift i duno what though. Please don't say Gold what else can you get a couple. Either separate gifts for bride and groom or something they can both use. Any ideas?

Anonymous (not verified) — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 - 13:12

[quote="yashmaki"]

Talking of weddings one of my siblings is getting married this weekend. It'll be a small do. I still need to get a gift i duno what though. Please don't say Gold what else can you get a couple. Either separate gifts for bride and groom or something they can both use. Any ideas?[/quote]

A toaster or a SIM card 😂

*DUST* — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 - 13:17

[quote="yashmaki"]Talking of weddings one of my siblings is getting married this weekend. It'll be a small do. I still need to get a gift i duno what though. Please don't say Gold what else can you get a couple. Either separate gifts for bride and groom or something they can both use. Any ideas?[/quote]
u could buy gift vouchers for a department store you know they shop at, that way they can get something useful that they need.

MuslimSisLilSis — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 - 21:32

got a family wedding coming up next weekend- 😃

tis my fav/youngest uncle-he's marrying an Iraqi girl with intresting views

it'll be a very tiny wedding-about 20 of us family members incl kids and about 10 of his mates and hers

went green street today to do our shopping-i brought this red and pink suit with matching shoes

my sister brought a sky blue sari

my good for nothing brother and my cousins are all gonna be suited and booted up-it be nice to see them in someting other then their trampy joggers and jeans :roll:

gonna get bangles/earrings et probl 2moro

i never realised how much fun family weddings are

u have tears, drama, laughter, anger. short tempers and extreme happiness all present

Noor — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 - 21:34

[color=indigo][b]I hate family weddings, cant stand them!!! Too much hassle![/b][/color]

Moderator — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 - 22:56

[quote="muslim_kuri"][quote="irfan"]As if putting the bride on display for people to gawp at her and for people to 'rate' her isn't bad enough. What really gets my goat, and sends me into fits of rage when talking about this, is when at the end of the day the bride sits in the middle the marital bed and is filmed for a good ten minutes. And if that's not bas enough, the groom then comes in and poses whilst sitting or lying next to her. And it's all on bloody film for every Tom, D ick and Harry to see![/quote]

i totally agree...thats just unbelievably shocking that people find it acceptable 2 film the bride n groom on the bed...totally un-Islamic. its like when it comes to stuff like weddings Islam goes out the window n instead stupid, Indian influenced traditions are followed...totally pathetic[/quote]

Which "people" are we talking about here...? Surely in todays society of educated, liberated thinking no one has to follow such schedules. Often particularly in UK theres a massive confusion between culture (which is predominately related to the geographical origin of the family) and religion. So these rituals of mehendi, dancing (popular in Punjab, some parts Pakistan), oil?, money? etc as mentioned earlier on this thread are not to do with religion but are rituals incorporated into marriage ceremonies also seen by many Hindus, Sikhs etc and as often is the case have been adopted into muslim weddings. They are not compulsory and I guess its up to the family if they bother with any of them or not or they just have a simple Nikah followed by a wedding dinner reception.

But what others do is very much their business. A wedding is personal to each family and how they chose to celebrate it is their business.

Imaani — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 15:53

[quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam

wats with the rice throwing thats sooo haraam,and its totally cultural i find it really annoying when brides do that at weddings. i mean its Rizak from Allah they throw it then ppl walk all over it :shock: i dont get the significance of it any way, any 1 know y they do it!!![/quote]

I asked my mum about this and she said it was supposed to symbolise the girls wish that her parents home continued to be 'showered' with blessings, ie rizak etc.

zara — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 16:34

the best wedding is the one where they have siek kebabs. (not sure about spelling) or if they have kechup.
can you believe that they don't have kechup in most weddings!?! :evil:

MuslimBro — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 16:48

I quite agree with you, I love weddings where sheikh kebabs are served but unfortunately haven't been to a wedding where they serve ketchup.....yet.

For some reason I prefer sheikh kebabs and don't like having tandoori chicken, tandoori chickens are served in every single wedding I've been to, except for a few, and I think it should change and they should start serving hot wings, chips and pizzas 😃

Noor — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 16:50

[color=indigo][b]I hate wedding food, well i dont hate it but literally but they tend to serve the same food over and over again!t's like serve something DIFFERENT for a change plz!!! We're getting bored![/b][/color]

zara — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 16:52

you two need to come to MY wedding.
menu:
pizza
chips
KECHUP!!! 😃
sheikh kebabs
coke
smosas
NO ROTTI OR RICE!!! 😃

Noor — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 17:03

[color=indigo][b]Sounds like summet of a takeaway menu..![/b][/color]

zara — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 17:05

better than those 'weddings' that have boring curry and rice and all that stuff. my wedding is going to have the best menu ever!

Noor — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 17:08

[b][color=indigo]Do send me an invite then 😉 [/color][/b]

zara — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 17:12

course i will 😃
you can be the bride of honour or whatever it's called... 😃

MuslimSister — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 17:59

[quote="Noor...*"][color=indigo][b]I hate wedding food, well i dont hate it but literally but they tend to serve the same food over and over again!t's like serve something DIFFERENT for a change plz!!! We're getting bored![/b][/color][/quote]

I find it amusing how everyone runs to the food as soon as its opened up...filling up plates that their not even going to finish.

I was at a function a while back when they opened up the food and announced that ladies should help themselves first and then the men...and tis old man came running up to the table, stating "there's not much difference between old men and women". :?

Noor — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 18:07

[b][color=indigo]lol too right it is! esp the old grannies, they always run and shov u out the way so that there lil grandchildern can sit down and eat. Another annoying thing is when you've only just sat down to eat and the next thing you no, you've got a greedy buggar holding tite onto to your chair waiting to EAT! They put you under pressure so u just leave u food and run off!![/color][/b]

*Sponi* — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 18:13

[b][color=violet]lol, another annoying thing aboutweedingsssss i hate is whne you just sit down to eat and the next thing you no the camera man is in your face!!! now that really does piss me of!!![/color][/b]

Angel — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 18:57

[quote="MuslimSister"]

I find it amusing how everyone runs to the food as soon as its opened up...filling up plates that their not even going to finish.

[/quote]

You guys have a buffet system at weddings?

Here in scot we sit down and get starter/main course/desert etc to the table with clean plates for everything. 🙂

It's funny though because some asians who are used to scoffing everything down at once get annoyed as the main course is taking a "long" time lol

Mez — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 20:58

Oh yeh been to a wedding in scotland a while ago now my cousins!
They served the starters then the main course and then the desserts,

The desserts the served were Sweet rice and Ice cream with glab jaman! yummy!!

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 - 22:50

[quote="Angel"][quote="MuslimSister"]

I find it amusing how everyone runs to the food as soon as its opened up...filling up plates that their not even going to finish.

[/quote]

You guys have a buffet system at weddings?

Here in scot we sit down and get starter/main course/desert etc to the table with clean plates for everything. 🙂

It's funny though because some asians who are used to scoffing everything down at once get annoyed as the main course is taking a "long" time lol[/quote]

here u get buffet style and that ^^^style too

i dont like the buffet style tho

-firsly cos i hate getting up again and again for someone of the table who needs sumin :roll:

and cos everyone can see how many helpings ur taking- :roll:

Moderator — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 - 01:54

[quote="Angel"][quote="MuslimSister"]

I find it amusing how everyone runs to the food as soon as its opened up...filling up plates that their not even going to finish.

[/quote]

You guys have a buffet system at weddings?

Here in scot we sit down and get starter/main course/desert etc to the table with clean plates for everything. 🙂

It's funny though because some asians who are used to scoffing everything down at once get annoyed as the main course is taking a "long" time lol[/quote]

We had a wedding in the family recently and had sit down/ served for starter (samosa with salad and spring roll with red thai chilli sauce) and dessert, and main meal was buffet. It turned out fine.
I ended up having 2 desserts! Just love dessert.

peacegirl — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 - 23:14

I went to a wedding at Nawabs in manchester the other day!! food was lovely!! Not buffet!! I don't like buffets at asian wedding coz many just run and crowd round the buffet!! And I can never get in there! when I do.........all the good roast pieces have gone!! And when I FINALLY get back to my table,,,,where I left my kids to mind the chair,,,,,I find that they have done a runner!! And some other aunty has taken my place!

Snoopz — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 - 00:43

[quote="peace4all"] I find that they have done a runner!! And some other aunty has taken my place![/quote]

hate it when that happens