what kind of a parent will you be?

Naz

Ya'qub
My parents woould never have sent me or my sister to a private school, because they were against the principal of it. They may have been able to afford it but saw the whole 'private-education' thing as grossly unfair and elitist.

If i have kids then they are defo gonna go private school. The public schools are getting worse by the day.

You mean Eton and Harrow?! I thought they were quite successful...
maybe you mean state schools

http://www.publicschools.co.uk/

I am a leftie, so I don't agree with private schools that much, the poor miss out while the rich get the benefit. Actually there are good state schools around, so it'll be to them Inshallah.

Just because a school is private, it doesnt mean it is any better than a good state comprehensive - having gone through the private school system myself :shock: Most put in place impossible entry requirements, and accept only a select few who obviously pass the tough entry exams, interviews, etc and therefore can achieve good grades when it comes to SATS or GCSEs :shock: The real students who deserve extra help are neglected, and its an ongoing cycle 🙁

Some private schools are excellent and so are some state schools. Some private schools changed their entry procedures and took in a certain amount of government assistance to bring in a more local demographic and the minute they did that they could no longer compete at the same level. The difference in atmosphere between a highly academic private school and most other schools is very marked, but there are some state schools with very high standards, especially in areas where state schools maintained the 11-plus exams (grammar schools).

4 types of schools

1) public/community schools - funded and run by the government

some students suffer due to the high volume of students and incompetent teachers who cannot teach.

2) foundation schools - funded by their own bodies and events they hold for students and parents. Hard to get into coz they only take a small amount of students each year.

3) if your kid is real intelligent then they get in for free. Again better teachers and better for intelligent students who are more advanced then ppl of their age.

4) private schools cost a lot, smaller classes therefore get more help and work. They finish later and get more homework.

I went to a only girls public school. Half of the non Muslim girls in my year had at least one kid before they left school. Some of the Muslim girls had several abortions before they left school. Now this was happening 5 years. My lil sister goes to the same school and nothing has changed.

My lil bro goes to an only boys foundation school. He came home last week and told me that a teacher found a hammer in one of the students bag.

If you can afford to send your kids to grammar or private school then why not. Nothing wrong with wanting the best for them.

NazIf you can afford to send your kids to grammar or private school then why not. Nothing wrong with wanting the best for them.

Agreed. Give your kids the best education you can, whether that's a state education or privately funded.

For those that can't easily afford private school fees, if your kids pass the exams there are usually grants available.

The problem isn't state schools, it's how they're run. I think we need smaller classes.
You apparently corporal punishment is still legal in public/private schools.
Oh and Naz, public and private schools are the same thing.

I became a father recently. Here are some of the things that we are doing with our child in mind:

1, Gain more knowledge.
2, Become more practicing Insha Allah.
3, Throw out the TV. (Have already done this). I am not going to lecture anyone on this, just a personal choice.

Most importantly, lead by example.

In islam isnt it the duty of the parent to provide the best possible education.

dark^knight
3, Throw out the TV. (Have already done this). I am not going to lecture anyone on this, just a personal choice.

nice one.

Courage Oh and Naz, public and private schools are the same thing.

No they are not. In Tameside we refer to public schools as those open to all. Private are those that you PAY to go to.

Your lingo is probably different to mine.

dark^knightI became a father recently. Here are some of the things that we are doing with our child in mind:

1, Gain more knowledge.
2, Become more practicing Insha Allah.
3, Throw out the TV. (Have already done this). I am not going to lecture anyone on this, just a personal choice.
Most importantly, lead by example.

Salaam

I agree with the bits in bold, you sound like an awesome parent. Keep it up.

If you live in America then yes, they're different. But since Greater Manchester is in Britain, public and private schools are the same thing. STATE schools are the ones you go for free.

I know what i mean. You know what i mean and i think everyone else knows what we mean so before it gets out of hand plus were going off thread and ruining Eds thread lets leave it at that.

capice

NoorMaashAllah go Ed!

I can’t stand nappies. Eugh

haha i have twin sisters which means twice the number of nappies 2 chance... my mum changes 1 and i have 2 change the other lol.. u get used 2 it haha

i just think private schools are a waste of time.. weve got a private girls school in sheffield which my mum considered sending me too.. obv i didnt agree..! there were no apney!

the education is wikkid there, they always ace there results, but then again, y wudnt they? theyre parents pay 4 them 2 go 2 that school, therefore they must study! but i wud much rather go to the school that i am at now, u get all the apney ppl, and if u actually concerntate wid ur studies, you can get top results coz teaching is the samea almost evrywhere.. this boy in my school got 11A*s and 1A last year.. so it proves that if the pupil wants to learn, they can learn anywhere they want.. it doesnt matter if the school is provate or public

private and state schools both have advantages and disadvantages

you have to look at each child and their needs and the schools on an individual basis IMO

some kids will be alryt in state school

some needa stay away fom state school

some go corrupt even at islamic boarding schools.....others have benefitted

i know this because 3 out of my 4 siblings went to islamic school, and 2 benefitted......didnt work out well for the other, he needed to be around his friends of his type, didnt fit in there

a lot depends on the very first school - the home. the way a child is brougt up and the tarbiyyah it is given its very important....schools can then affect em later

yep true say

Islamic schools have to be the worse. I know some ppl who have come out of Islamic school know a lot about Islam yet they still do dodgy things.

It doesn’t matter how well you bring your kids coz by the time they start school and mix with the low life’s (you get a lot in public schools then private schools) they forget everything. All you can do is pray to Allah (swt) to guide and protect your child.

its wrong to say it doesnt matter how you raise them....it does, instilling good values in them will help as they grow. But obviously you cant keep total control of the situation, its imperative you ask for Allah (SWT) to guide them, but you have to raise them well and hope for the best, keep them in good company is IMO the single most important thing

and there are some people who have benefitted from islamic schools....you cant generalise..falls down to the individuals

my parents alhamdulillah always put effort into us, and whilst im no angel, it has helped me stay away from certain things as i grew up

All im saying is that some parents do bring up their kids really well but as soon as they start school and start mixing with the wrong kind it all goes down hill from there. This is not true in every case but very common in the 21st century.

Ppl always make the assumption that if a kid turns out as rebel it must be coz the parents didnt do their job properly and thats not true.

Like you said you cant keep them in sight 24/7.

This is a fact that is starting to worry me. Whilst you can control/influence/teach your children when they are at home or with you, you have no control when they go to school or out with their friends, and that is where a lot of bad habits are picked up like foul language.

dark^knightThis is a fact that is starting to worry me. Whilst you can control/influence/teach your children when they are at home or with you, you have no control when they go to school or out with their friends, and that is where a lot of bad habits are picked up like foul language.

Exactly!
School is where i picked up swearing from. I use to constantly swear literally after every other word. Even my friends noticed it. So we made a deal every time i swore i had to pay them 10p. My friends were rolling in it at the end of the year. Thats how i broke the habit. I rarely ever swear now. I only do it if im really really peeved or when someone makes a racist comment.

all i learnt in primary school was swears in bengali....and bloody eck...some swears they were too :shock:

at secondary it was normal to swear........only a couple of years ago a made a conscious decision to stop swearing...before that i could switch it on wen with mates, and calm it down wen with family......now alhamdulillah i manage to get by without swearing

altho i would be a liar if i said i havent swore a few times since then, but nowhere near a habit now

Sirusall i learnt in primary school was swears in bengali....and bloody eck...some swears they were too :shock:

Wanna learn some more 😃

I would try to raise my children like my mum raised me inshallah because even though she is not a muslim; she wasn't too strict but she did keep controll. I think me and my brother turned out quite well... 😃

MuslimBro

Sirusall i learnt in primary school was swears in bengali....and bloody eck...some swears they were too :shock:

Wanna learn some more :D

duro la la la!

this website looks quite nice for little kids:

http://www.islamic-relief.com/hilal/

Sirus

some go corrupt even at islamic boarding schools.....others have benefitted

i know this because 3 out of my 4 siblings went to islamic school, and 2 benefitted......didnt work out well for the other, he needed to be around his friends of his type, didnt fit in there

True say, i have two brothers who are totally different to each oda, my eldest 23 studied at boarding school and now alhamdulillah is an imaam of one of the mosques in my hometown. My lil bro who studied at normal state school is
like these young useless guys you see hanging around all day. all siblings apart from him have studied some time in islamic school but hes turned the worse from the lot,

but also doesnt mean studying at islamic schools will make one a good muslim, i've seen it all having stayed at a boarding school, and i'm not gonna send my son to an boarding school

I WOULD LET MY KIDS RUN RIOT. HOWEVER, AT THE SAME TIME I WOULD BRING THEM UP TO RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE AND HAVE GOOD MORALS. I WOULD HATE TO BE A STRICT FATHER. I THINK THERES NO POINT DICTATING YOUR CHILDS LIFE. TELLING THEM WHAT THEY CAN AND CAN'T DO. I WILL SET GUIDLINES FOR MY KIDS.

MAKE SURE YOU GO TO SCHOOL.GET GOOD GRADES
GO TO THE MOSQUE LEARN ABOUT ISLAM
NO DRUGS, SMOKING, DRINKING. IF I CATCH THEM THEY ARE OUT OF THE HOUSE
BUT GENERALLY LET THEM DO WATVER THEY WANT

big broI THINK THERES NO POINT DICTATING YOUR CHILDS LIFE. TELLING THEM WHAT THEY CAN AND CAN'T DO.......

MAKE SURE YOU GO TO SCHOOL.GET GOOD GRADES
GO TO THE MOSQUE LEARN ABOUT ISLAM
NO DRUGS, SMOKING, DRINKING. IF I CATCH THEM THEY ARE OUT OF THE HOUSE
BUT GENERALLY LET THEM DO WATVER THEY WANT

Then whats that your doing? lol

I think if you control your kids too much they are likely to rebel and thus go astray. However, if you tell them from the beginning that this is wrong and most importantly why (some parents fail to do this) and you let them get on with it chances are that the wont go astray and in turn they will also respect you for it.

One of my friends her mum proper keeps a close eye on her. She is only allowed out once a month with us and she wasnt allowed to move out to go to uni and even now her mum wont let her find work outside of Manchester. Her mum thinks that if she lets her daughter get on with it that she gonna go astray. My friend dates, eat haraam stuff, goes into pubs and clubs and doesnt participate in ramzaan and she is doing all this under her mums nose. Just goes to show that restricting someones freedom is not always a good thing. I think you need to strike a balance, not being too controlling but then not allowing your kids complete freedom, there should be some limits.