Marriage Recipe

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yeah probaly a lil more responsible.....but not that responsible that they are ready to lead lives of thier own

maybe a few years ago we wouldnt be discussing this, but the state of the youth today.....well, it is as you see it

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

"Black Prince" wrote:
yeah probaly a lil more responsible.....but not that responsible that they are ready to lead lives of thier own

again, bear in mind that there are some exceptions to the rule...

Quote:
maybe a few years ago we wouldnt be discussing this, but the state of the youth today.....well, it is as you see it

not sure i get u - y wouldnt we b discussing this a few years ago? :?

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

coz they dont make them as they used to anymore! Lol

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

"Black Prince" wrote:
coz they dont make them as they used to anymore! Lol

Fool

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

never mind

[size=7]you ddont sleep do you?![/size]

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

"Black Prince" wrote:
never mind

[size=7]you ddont sleep do you?![/size]


yeh i know - u cant xplain urself coz its just a lame joke... Blum 3

yeh i got some sleep believe it or not! Lol last nite was an exception anyway... [size=7]for u its a habit![/size]

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

[size=7]no its not...ur much worse[/size]

The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.

Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.

ɐɥɐɥ

i've alwayz thought living in joint family is not a problem, i've seen alot of girls who get married &then try convincing their husbands to live separately..but then realise that their in a much more worse situation than if they opted for joint family system

SO what do you think is best?

living in a joint family system

or

separately

Personally I would go for joint family for about 6 months and then seperately. But this would only be if my brothers who were mature were married, I dont like it that my wife live in my house when my brothers are unmarried.

So cos of that, I would say that live seperately from basically day 1, maybe stay in parents for a week so my mom knows what it feels like to have a daughter in law in the house but after that have to be seperate. BUT I would expect to go to parents home everyday and probably expect her to spend 6 months at my parents home in daytime, so she and my mom get to know each other properly.

So yeh, seperate house but close by, walking distance I would say. This way me and her live in our own house, with own privacy, but at same time she is involved in my family.

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

you got a jealous streak there musk... not a good fragrance!

:twisted:

what about sisters?

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"Admin" wrote:
you got a jealous streak there musk... not a good fragrance!

:twisted:

what about sisters?

yes, I am VERY jealous. And thats one thing I dont and wont apologise for.

What about sisters? If u asking abt me, I aint got any sisters. Only boys in my house alhamdulillah.

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

OK... paxman time...

Alhamdulillah that you DO have brothers?

or

Alhamdulillah you DON'T have sisters?

:twisted:

(and no, you do not need to answer. Its the first one.)

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"musk" wrote:
yes, I am VERY jealous. And thats one thing I dont and wont apologise for.

The Prophet (s.a.w) said: "Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood." [Abu Dawood]

[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=, X-Men[/url]

"musk" wrote:
So yeh, seperate house but close by, walking distance I would say.

so you plan on sticking to pakifyde aloo rock...

"Admin" wrote:
(and no, you do not need to answer. Its the first one.)

LOL...i hope so

ask my bros they'll tell U hw lucky they are to have me as their sis..
its GREAT when my bros say "life would be so dull wivout you" lol

im sure EVERY guy would love a sis

yeh aloo rock all the way. If any1 doesnt like that then they can clear off (!)

And abt sisters. Alhamdulillah Im glad wiv what I've got, ie only brothers, cant miss what u never had so dont ''miss'' not having a sister.

And white, im sure u aint that gud. get over urself. lol

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

"musk" wrote:

And white, im sure u aint that gud. get over urself. lol

huh!?

u cant be sure

btw, unlike some im not the 1 who boasts [size=7]hint hint[/size]

im the lucky one

"white" wrote:
"musk" wrote:

And white, im sure u aint that gud. get over urself. lol

huh!?

u cant be sure

btw, unlike some im not the 1 who boasts [size=7]hint hint[/size]

im the lucky one

I only speak the truth, if u call that boasting then I cant do anything abt that. Why do u disagree abt what I ''boast''?

Yeh u r lucky. But so am i.

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

so pagal...and what makes you fink i was referring to you ?

i was hinting generally

you shouldnt lie

"white" wrote:
so pagal...and what makes you fink i was referring to you ?

i was hinting generally

you shouldnt lie

k WHATEVAA.

Sorry, I apologise, white.

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

Anyways-back to the topic :roll:

another girl I know who lives on our road- got married this summer

she is back in her parents house after two months of marraige

it was arranged marraige-she claims that the guy never loved her

he only got married to her cos his mum was on his case

he associated with non Muslim women-mainly white girls

he just gave her the divorce papers and told her to go home

what have I learned frm this story?

never marry reluctant mummy's boys

I think this was a bad year for marraige

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

another girl I know who lives on our road- got married this summer

You and ur road again, the amount of story you told us about it, i think it deserve it own soap serial. Wink

But yeah, i don't think it been a bad year for marriage, more like a bad generation for marriage. Doesn't matter if it love, arranged, blind or anything esle, it doesn't seem to be working for today generation. I think that too many people (couples and parents) expect marriage to automatically solve everything, they forget that hard work is also required as well. It a pity, but things are only going to get worse in time, what the future muslims couples need is more understanding of the right and responsibilty that marriage and life in general requires, that the bsic fundamental need for the new generation of muslims IMO. It something the generation before is failing to instill in the new ones.

"A true Muslim is thankful to Allah in prosperity, and resigned to His will in adversity."

[url=http//

mashaALLAH gud post bro.

I would add that in the past the girls who got married would stick it out for the sake of their parents honour and to avoid disappointing the family. Today they are less submissive and less willingly to stick it out.

I aint saying if its right or not, but its a fact that previously women, no matter how bad the husband/in laws were, would generally stick it out and I must say they deserve a big respect for it. Becuase if women were as demanding as men in the marriage then I would say that most marriages would have broken down in the past aswell. I personally view it as a fact that if marriages lasted upto the recent past it was because of the women in most cases, obviously not all.

And for that they deserve respect, but similarly in this light it would seem that most marriages break down today because women arent willing to observe the role their mothers/ grandmothers were willing to act out.

I dont have stories about my road and what peoples get up to, I aint a gossip but I do know abt my own family members and how they stuck to their marriages even when husband was a complete fool. Some instances include: man marries a divorcee woman who has a daughter, brings up the daughter and when the daughter reaches maturity says to the wife either get ur daughter married to my brother or I'll divorce you, or then there was the woman who got beats cos she kept having daughters, or there was another woman who used to have a hockey stick taken to her, or the one who became a mother of three kids but still wud get beatings from her step dad who was her bro-in-law aswell. Or the one whose husband went to america, got married to a white woman and didnt come back for years and STILL the wife would refer to him with respect and wudnt tolerate one word against him

Women like that are superheros, and I cant express my respect for them enough.

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

"musk" wrote:
mashaALLAH gud post bro.

I would add that in the past the girls who got married would stick it out for the sake of their parents honour and to avoid disappointing the family. Today they are less submissive and less willingly to stick it out.

similarly in this light it would seem that most marriages break down today because women arent willing to observe the role their mothers/ grandmothers were willing to act out.

Women like that are superheros, and I cant express my respect for them enough.

Interesting generalisations Med.

Today, in some cases even if the woman wants to stick around and make the marriage work, she can’t because some men are just quick to shout divorce and send the woman back to her parents…

The situation above was pretty typical of what goes on nowadays. At least three close friends mine have been through this.

Boy is in his thirties…typical bachelor enjoying single life and mum is doing his head in to get married. Boy gets married extremely reluctantly just to shut the mum up and cant change his ways even after marriage…some men tell their wife on the wedding night that they can’t ever love her whilst others are “considerate” enough to tell her two-three months later…they are quick to shout out divorce and become deaf to the pleas of the girl and dump her back at her parents.

However, even though such heartless men exist. I wouldn’t be silly enough generalise and state that such men are the reason why most marriages break down.

My friend’s predicament and the stories that you’ve mentioned of the women in your family depresses me extremely and makes my heart feel heavy.

May Allah (swt) protect us all from such heartless, evil partners.

Med; once a man utters divurce three times, the woman can not 'stick it out'.

She is in the oprocess of an irrevocable divorce.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

And adding to the above...marraige is strictly haraam for the individual who knows that he/she will mistreat their partner.

Marraige is not for everyone.

So, people should think about this before they get married or try to get their kids married.

Some parents think once a person is married their partner is suddenly gona possess magical powers to change their children, well the parents and the children need a reality check as this is not the case!

Its unfair to get someone married off who isnt willing to, such marriages are very hard to keep, as one or both wont be willing to compromise.

"Angel" wrote:
Some parents think once a person is married their partner is suddenly gona possess magical powers to change their children, well the parents and the children need a reality check as this is not the case!

Exactly!

Some parents are under the false illusion that marriage will “sort them out”. As if!

Marriage is hard work as it is. And a reluctant partner just makes it all the more difficult…how on earth can someone make their marriage work if their partner never wanted to be with them in the first place.

And when it’s the guy who is reluctant…it doesn’t take him long to shout divorce.

Also, I think people should get to know the person they are marrying so they can pick up any reluctance and find out what they are getting themselves into.

Especially girls….after all girls these days aren’t “superheros” so they’re not the type to take crap from husbands who may beat or cheat on them.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

Especially girls….after all girls these days aren’t “superheros” so they’re not the type to take crap from husbands who may beat or cheat on them.

As much as i hate to admit but the above, beating or cheatin would make me hate the guy if anyone ever did that to me i would defnitely leave him Its not easy living with such a sick person.

girls dont take that nowadays nor should they have too.

"Angel" wrote:
"MuslimSister" wrote:

Especially girls….after all girls these days aren’t “superheros” so they’re not the type to take crap from husbands who may beat or cheat on them.

As much as i hate to admit but the above, beating or cheatin would make me hate the guy if anyone ever did that to me i would defnitely leave him Its not easy living with such a sick person.

girls dont take that nowadays nor should they have too.

Of course. I also could not love or respect such a man.

Most girls are brought up with extreme love by their fathers...how can they put up with behaviour from a man that is alien to them?

And why should why should they? They have a right to seek separation.

As you prob know, there was a woman in the time of the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) who didn’t have an issue with the deen and the character of the man she had wed but she just couldn’t love him...the Holy prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) didn’t tell her to "stick it out" or that she'd gain "more respect" if she did. He Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) simply told her to return the garden that was given to her return Mahr...and ask for a divorce.

Today if a woman seeks a divorce she is looked down upon.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

As you prob know, there was a woman in the time of the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) who didn’t have an issue with the deen and the character of the man she had wed but she just couldn’t love him...the Holy prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) didn’t tell her to "stick it out" or that she'd gain "more respect" if she did. He Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) simply told her to return the garden that was given to her return Mahr...and ask for a divorce.

kindly provide further details.

The kitab which contains this incident will be enough.

Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar

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