The other day, I was sitting down, just staring at a wall boredly. It was quiet late in the night, and i had nothing to do, and to be honest, i really wasnt getting any sleep. Anyways. An idea sprung into my head, and i grinned. I ran into the bathroom and did wudsu, before pulling on my scarf, and sitting down. Now, I have a beautiful recording of Surah Ar Rahman (a surah about Allah) on my phone, so, i read the dua'a surath, and turned it the recording of Surah Ar Rahman on.
And, focusing on the words, i closed my eyes, and just sat there, thinking of Allah. My mind would casually switch to something else, but i would force myself to try to think of Allah. And eventually, i was relaxed, and just thinking of Allah, with Surah Ar Rahman playing in the background.
I was crying to Allah, asking him for forgivness and such, then, all of a sudden, my eyes were hit with a burning bright light. It was so bright, that my eyes felt like they had been stung! My eyes flew open, and i looked around, breathing heavily. The room was completely dark, there was no sight of a light on anywhere. I shook my head, thinking i was mental, and restarted the dua'aa, when it happened again!
I forced my eyes shut, and withstood the pain, until the recording of Surah Ar Rahman finished, and i finished my dua'aa.
My whole vision felt as if it had been cleared. The whole room was brighter, and i felt so incredibly happy! It was as if my heart had been filled with love. Me, being me, i rang up half of my friends, and told them the story, and the whole of the next day, i couldnt stop smiling! It was the most incredible feeling i had ever felt in my life.
A few friends told me, that it may have been the angels shining light on me, but my mosque teacher said it was a way of Allah telling me he was listening to me, and he was reaching out to me. The smile on my face was so wide, i was surprised my face hadnt broken in half.
Whether you choose to believe me or not, I know i am telling the truth, and if i am lying, on judgement day, Allah will say so.
Er... so can you explain it to me? I dont understand what it meant, and neither does my mosque teacher. AND, dont think im crazy, i was meditating because, like, i was told that if you can read just two rakah without thinking of anything but Allah, then your forgiven for all your sins&i needed to work on my thinking patterns.. so yeah.
Oh&i've had depression for two years? Like, i still have depression? I dunno if that means anything..
BUT, please help!
Comments
Asalamu Alaykum Sister
This seems amazing, honestly! I'm glad that you've found this happiness and it does seem like its opened your eyes up and shed some light onto a few darknesses. This incident could have many meanings to it, and the more people you ask to help you to understand and interpret the meaning behind it, the more varied the responses will be.
Everyone will say what they think it to be and i'd say take heed from the experience itself. This could be a way of gaining closeness to Allah and becoming more aware of your faith. It could be that one thing that makes you head towards the right direction and into making you a better person. I hope it helps you to get out of all your depression, because you'll realise more, that Allah is always looking over you and waiting to hear your call.
Subhanallah, sounds like a beautiful experience. Can't really interpret what it was but it sounds to me like a gift from Allah, an imaan boost. Like the moment when a person who's lived in a cave all their life come out to see the sky, birds, trees etc for the first time in their life. A moment of realisation.
I've sort of experienced it but in the form of tears when making dua, i took as a sign of Allah swt's mercy and His way of saying i love you back. It happens when you need it most and when you do something soley for the pleasure of Allah.
Cherish these moments as it is temporary, use it to do as much you can as you'll find you have a new found energy. To make sure you don't go back to the way you were after this emotion runs out you should build your thoughts and ideas, find out more about Allah and Islam and your purpose in life.
Seeking knowledge is very important, it's for when the emotions run dry. Your spirits will be harder to break if they are built on firm knowledge of your deen, it will increase your imaan.
May Allah preserve your imaan, guide us all and keep is frien on the deen and the haq. Ameen
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH