some possible reasons why i left for a while

this isnt a conclusive list, its probably not even a true list,


just like with any group of people you spend a lot of time with, you start to share values and views and a way of thinking, and just like with every group of people I've joined, I've come from the outside, always. I'm never intrisically from the inside. so i compare, me and the group, what fits, what doesn't, does it make or break. I needed to think about what I wanted to make part of me. I didnt want to have opinions just because people im around do. I've never really done that. it's just not something i do, but i was getting afraid that this was happening with the people from revvy. its not a bad thing, its just not a thing I'm accustomed to and so i needed a step back. map myself, map this "us".


im friends with pretty much everyone on here and communicate with most regulars through other means. I sometimes felt silly posting content when i knew what other regulars would make of it and sometimes i felt silly discussing opinions etc.. on a "formal" forum when i could just have the conversation over a chat. but theres no place where i can reach many different people  and get their views all in one place. and yes, when the site went low, hardly anyone was around, I felt like i was talking to myself sometimes, i do that a lot, but i dont like to pretend to myself that im talking to other people.


its hard to figure out who you are while comparing yourself against something that doesnt really know what it is. the site is confused. its supposed to be the online version of the magazine but it's not. its something different, a different feel, a different kind of people. its different to me. i love the site. im not big fan of the mag. how do i reconcile these? I left, was i hoping to come back to things being different? maybe? I have seen discussions of the site becoming something else, a platform for social activism? if we're willing to discuss change (not shut down) I'll gladly, porbably eagerly, listen. I'm not saying the site needs to stay open. I'm saying that if it needs to close, we need to have somewhere else where we can all gather.


there are probably other "life" reasons. and none of these really excuse my leaving. i'm hoping to be back though. especially if the site is going to solidify and officialise what it's already becoming - not sure what that is.