PM criticises ‘sectarian politics’ in byelection but party may fear Greens’ nascent leftwing political machine

The Green party’s success at winning Muslim votes in Gorton and Denton has sent tremors through Westminster, prompting recriminations and accusations from opposition parties, who sense another major realignment in British politics.

Experts say Hannah Spencer’s unexpectedly wide margin of victory was delivered in part by a significant shift of Muslim voters from Labour to the Greens.

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Two Palestinian teenagers shot and killed by Israeli soldiers, settlers in West Bank.

The astroturf group’s strategy event had the theme ‘evolve’ – but its speakers want to take the country back to the past

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Last weekend, the astroturf body Advance Australia held its first national conference in Darling Harbour. Contrary to its theme, “evolve”, what leaked recordings of the speeches reveal is that Advance wants to return Australians to a mythical past.

At a time when Australian politicians and certain members of the commentariat are lecturing us about “social cohesion”, Advance’s messaging was a reminder that our definition of hate speech often depends a lot on who does the speaking.

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I am, like millions of others, dutifully fasting from dawn to dusk this month. My faith does not define me. It refines me

• Nazir Afzal is chancellor of the University of Manchester and a former chief prosecutor

As Ramadan begins, Muslims across Britain prepare for a month of fasting, reflection and charity. For most of us, it is a time of spiritual discipline and generosity. For too many of us, it is also a time when the drumbeat of anti-Muslim hatred grows louder.

I have never liked the word “Islamophobia”. It sounds abstract, almost clinical. What we are dealing with is not a vague fear. It is hostility. Suspicion. Discrimination. Abuse. So, I call it what it is, anti-Muslim hatred.

Nazir Afzal is chancellor of the University of Manchester and a former chief prosecutor

Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.

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This series is a collaboration between Dr. Ali and MuslimMatters, bringing Quranic wisdom to the questions Muslim families are navigating.

The Conversation Nobody’s Having

Here’s a scene playing out in Muslim homes across the world:

Teen: silently struggling with a crush, consumed by guilt, convinced they’re a bad Muslim

Parent: oblivious, assuming their teen “isn’t like that,” avoiding the conversation because it’s uncomfortable

Result: Teen either spirals into guilt-driven despair or abandons halal boundaries entirely because nobody gave them a framework.

Both outcomes are preventable.

But prevention requires a conversation most Muslim parents are avoiding.

What Your Teen Actually Needs to Hear

1. Having feelings isn’t a sin.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَجَاوَزَ عَنْ أُمَّتِي مَا حَدَّثَتْ بِهِ أَنْفُسَهَا مَا لَمْ تَعْمَلْ بِهِ أَوْ تَكَلَّمْ

“Allah has forgiven my ummah for what occurs in their minds, as long as they don’t act on it or speak of it.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

Your teen needs to hear this—from you, not just from a screen.

2. Islam has a framework for managing attraction.

It’s not just “don’t do haram things.” It’s:

• Lower your gaze (practically, including digitally)
• Fast to diminish desire
• Pursue marriage through halal means when ready
• Build taqwa as a genuine protection

3. Silence on this topic is dangerous.

When Muslim parents don’t address attraction, teens get their framework from:

• Non-Muslim peers
• Social media
• Trial and error

None of these produce Islamic outcomes.

The Three Stages of Attraction

Islamic scholarship identifies three distinct stages:

Stage 1: The Initial Glance: Involuntary. Completely forgiven. The Prophet ﷺ taught: “The first glance is forgiven; the second is not.” (Abu Dawud)

Stage 2: The Lingering (or second) Gaze: Choice enters here. This is what “lower your gaze” addresses.

Stage 3: Feeding the Feeling: Instagram stalking. Unnecessary contact. Obsessive daydreaming. This is where most teens actually struggle—and where parental guidance is most needed.

Understanding these stages helps teens shift from: “I’m a bad Muslim for feeling this” (unhelpful guilt)

To: “What am I actually doing with this feeling?” (productive taqwa)

What “Lowering the Gaze” Means in 2026

Classical scholars defined this as avoiding the intentional lustful stare.

In 2026, it also means:

Digitally:

• Unfollowing accounts that feed attraction
• Not stalking their social media
• Muting posts that become obsessive

Socially:

• Not engineering situations to be near them
• Maintaining appropriate group settings
• Avoiding private conversations that cross lines

Mentally:

• Redirecting intrusive thoughts with dhikr
• Not building elaborate fantasies
• Replacing mental dwelling with productive action

This is practical guidance your teen can actually implement.

The Prophetic Prescriptions

The Prophet ﷺ gave two specific prescriptions for managing attraction:

1. Marriage:

“We do not see for those who love one another anything better than marriage.” (Ibn Majah)

For teens at marriageable age: Help them pursue this if possible. Don’t make marriage so inaccessible that haram becomes the only option. Yes, you were able to wait until you were in your late 20’s or early 30’s because your society has guardrails that are no longer present. Your kids are growing up in a society where phone apps are available, and sadly very popular, whose only purpose is to find someone to have sex with that night! You’re asking them to be chaste, so help them, please.

2. Fasting:

“Whoever can afford to marry, let him do so. And whoever cannot, let him fast, for it diminishes desire.” (Bukhari)

Fasting isn’t just for Ramadan. It’s a genuine prescription for managing desire. Encourage your teen to fast regularly—Mondays and Thursdays, or the three middle days of each month, or even more often. It works well and extinguishes desire when no other option is available.

For Parents: The Conversation to Have

What to say:

“I know this might feel weird, but I want you to know that having feelings for someone is completely normal and completely human. Islam doesn’t pretend that those feelings don’t exist—it gives us a framework for navigating them with dignity. I want to be the person you can talk to about this, not someone you have to hide it from.”

What NOT to say:

• “Don’t even think about that”
• “Good Muslims don’t have those feelings”
• “You shouldn’t be thinking about this at your age”
• “Just make du’a and it’ll go away”

These responses:

• Increase shame without providing tools
• Make you the last person they’ll come to
• Leave them alone with something they need guidance for

The Marriage Conversation

Here’s something most Muslim parents in the West avoid:

Early marriage isn’t the problem. Inaccessible marriage is.

When we make marriage:

• Financially impossible until 30+
• Culturally restricted to specific ethnicities
• Dependent on career completion
• Laden with expensive cultural expectations

Funny story: One of my medical school colleagues, a wonderful and handsome young man, wanted to get married. He had actually grown up around a sister who was a close family friend, and they eventually developed feelings for each other. Same ethnic background, two families that already liked one another, and two people who matched on so many levels. It was the perfect story! So, the young man’s mother approached the girl’s mother and proposed. The girl’s mother accepted immediately and was overjoyed. Then they came to a discussion of the mahr (dowry). The boy’s mother said she was uncertain how to approach this topic, but the girl’s mother responded with surprise saying, “Why? The matter is very clear from the Quran. When Musa wanted to get married, the girl’s father proposed that he should work for him for 8-10 years! So, your son should pay the equivalent of 8 years worth of salary as the dowry (which would have amounted to over 300k USD at the time). Easy.” Needless to say, the marriage never happened (this is NOT the Islamic stance on setting the dowry either), despite everything lining up so perfectly, because of cultural greed the likes of which are truly astonishing.

Sadly, too often we’re creating a 10-15 year gap between when attraction happens and when marriage becomes “acceptable.”

And then we’re surprised when teens, and our young adults, struggle with halal behavior or go off and get married to non-Muslims.

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Am I making marriage accessible for my teen when they’re ready?
• Am I prioritizing cultural expectations over Islamic guidance?
• Would I rather my child pursue halal marriage at age 20 or turn to haram?

This isn’t a call to marry off your 15-year-old.

It’s a call to have honest conversations about marriage as a real, accessible option—not a distant goal dependent on impossible prerequisites.

The Taqwa Framework

Ultimately, here’s what Islam teaches:

Attraction is human. Taqwa is the protection.

Not only willpower. Not shame. Not only avoidance of difficult situations.

Taqwa—genuine God-consciousness—that makes you not WANT to compromise what Allah has for you.

When your teen has a strong enough relationship with Allah:

• Halal behavior becomes natural, not forced
• They genuinely want what Allah wants for them

This is why Week 1 (Identity) matters for Week 2 (Relationships).

A teen who knows who they are before Allah won’t need to compromise their values for the approval of someone they’re attracted to.

But, don’t mistake this point for what it’s not. We can’t say that a young person who is struggling with desire “just needs to have taqwa”. Taqwa will carry them and protect them, yes, but desire is human and Allah created that as something natural, with halal channels. Taqwa won’t extinguish desire. We’re not monks, right?

Discussion Questions for Families

For Teens:

1. Have you been carrying guilt about feelings you never chose? How does tonight’s teaching change that?
2. Honestly assess: Are you managing attraction in a halal way? Or feeding it through social media, unnecessary contact, daydreaming, etc.?
3. Do you feel like you could talk to your parents about this? Why or why not?

For Parents:

1. Have you created space for your teen to come to you about attraction without shame?
2. Are your expectations around marriage realistic and accessible? Or have you made halal options feel impossible?
3. How do you model halal relationship boundaries in your own life?

For Discussion Together:

1. What does Islam’s framework for attraction tell us about how Allah designed human beings?
2. How can our family make halal options more accessible and less stigmatized?
3. What does “guarding your chastity” look like practically in our family’s specific context?

Continue the Journey

This is Night 10 of Dr. Ali’s 30-part Ramadan series, “30 Nights with the Quran: Stories for the Seeking Soul.”

Tomorrow, insha Allah: Night 11 – “Toxic Relationships & When to Walk Away”

For daily extended reflections with journaling prompts: https://30nightswithquran.beehiiv.com/

Related:

When to Walk Away from Toxic Friends | Night 9 with the Qur’an

30 Nights with the Qur’an: A Ramadan Series for Muslim Teens

The post I Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone | Night 10 with the Qur’an appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

[This narrative scene is excerpted from The Interrogation Vault trilogy. Set within a digital simulation of the first Hijrah to Abyssinia (Rajab, 5th year of the Prophetic mission), the story follows a protagonist and an extraterrestrial visitor as they analyze the strategic genius of the Prophet ﷺ. Together, they explore his mastery of ally selection, crisis management, and the crafting of ambassadors whose impact would echo through history.]

***

“And he didn’t send them to any land,” the alien continued. “He sent them to a Christian kingdom. To a just king. He knew Najāshi would listen.”

He turned to me.

“What does that tell you?”

“That he trusted justice wherever it was,” I replied.

“Yes,” the alien nodded. “But more than that—he understood diplomacy. He sought allies. Islam wasn’t retreating. It was extending.”

The scene shifted again.

We were in Abyssinia now—green hills rising above open plains, birds darting through eucalyptus groves. The Muslims stood before the throne of Najāshi, weary but dignified.

A hush fell over the court.

Then Ja‘far stepped forward.

And he spoke:

“We were a people in ignorance… until God sent us a messenger… who taught us to speak truth, to care for kin, to protect the weak…”

His voice echoed across the throne room like a prayer carried by wind.

I felt my throat tighten.

“He could have just recited theology,” the alien whispered. “Instead, he described transformation. The moral revolution that Islam was birthing.”

Then came the challenge.

Qurayshi envoys arrived—polished, persuasive, bearing bribes. “These are rebels,” they insisted. “Hand them over.”

Najāshi turned to the Muslims.

“Do you carry anything from what your Prophet has received?”

Ja‘far nodded.

And recited verses from Surah Maryam.

Tears shimmered down the king’s face. The simulation let us feel it—the hush of the court, the tremble of awe, the moment a Christian king defended Muslim refugees against his own nobles.

“These weren’t just migrants,” the alien said. “They were envoys. Their presence in Abyssinia laid the foundation for interfaith respect, for political leverage, for survival.”

I exhaled. “But it must have been… so hard.”

The alien gazed toward the hills.

“Fifteen years. Some never saw the Prophet ﷺ again. They missed Badr. Uhud. They prayed facing Jerusalem until word of the qiblah (direction) reached them months later.”

He paused.

“They were not forgotten. But they felt forgotten.”

The simulation pulled us into a quiet tent.

A woman wept silently as her child slept beside her.

“I miss him,” she whispered to no one. “I miss his voice.”

I felt a weight in my chest that no gravity could match.

“Why did they stay so long?” I asked.

“Because they understood that service to Islam isn’t always visible,” the alien replied. “Sometimes, it means guarding the future from afar. They were the insurance policy. The reserve. The seed in foreign soil.”

The scene faded.

“Today,” the alien said, “you remember Badr. Uhud. Khandaq. But do you remember the ones who left?”

I looked at the sea again.

“They didn’t fight with swords,” I said slowly. “But they fought with sacrifice.”

He nodded.

“And that is the harder jihad.”

He stepped forward.

“You call it Hijrah. But it was also Hikmah. Wisdom. Timing. Diplomacy. Trust. If Islam was only spiritual, none of this would have mattered. But it did. Because Islam was always a movement. And movements… must move.”

I didn’t speak.

The chamber was too full of farewells.

Too full of forgotten names who gave everything for a future they would never fully see.

Rain still fell.

But now I knew.

They weren’t drops.

They were prayers.

***

 

Related:

– NICOTINE – A Ramadan Story [Part 1]: With A Name Like Marijuana

– Lejla And The White Days [Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs] – A Short Story

 

 

The post Fifteen Years In The Shadows: The Strategic Brilliance Of The Hijrah To Abyssinia appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

Some hearts enter Ramadan quietly — not because they lack faith, but because they lack a place to belong. Not everyone walks into the sacred month with a community waiting for them, a masjid that feels like home, or a circle of people who hold their presence with warmth.

Some believers arrive carrying a different kind of longing: the longing to be welcomed, to be seen, to be spiritually safe.

These are the uninvited hearts — the ones who love Allah deeply, yet often feel like strangers among His Creation.

And Ramadan, in its mercy, comes for them too.

The Month That Opens Its Doors to Everyone

Ramadan is not a gated community. It does not ask for credentials, popularity, or belonging. It does not require you to have a spiritual family or a perfect life.

It simply arrives — softly, generously, without conditions — and says: Come as you are.

Allah tells us in the Qur’an:

“And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.” [Surah Al-Baqarah: 2;186]

Near to the ones who feel left out. Near the ones who pray alone. Near to the ones who enter Ramadan with a heart that has been bruised by people but still reaches for Him.

When the World Doesn’t Invite You, Allah Does

There is a unique kind of worship that belongs to the uninvited heart.

The suhoor eaten in silence. The iftar made for one. The taraweeh prayed in a small room with no rows to join. The du‘ā’ whispered with no one to say “ameen” but the angels.

These acts are not lesser. They are not lacking. They are not lonely in the sight of Allah .

They are intimate. They are witnessed. They are beloved.

Sometimes Allah calls the Qur’an:

“O mankind, there has to come to you instruction from your Lord and healing for what is in the breasts and a guidance and a mercy for the believers.” [Surah Yunus: 10;57]

For the believer who feels spiritually displaced, the Qur’an becomes a home — a place where the heart is finally allowed to rest, to breathe, to belong.

In a world where people may overlook you, the Qur’an never does. In a month where others gather in circles, the Qur’an gathers you into its light.

A Du‘ā’ for the Uninvited Heart

There is a du‘ā’ that fits the ones who feel unseen, unheard, or unclaimed:

“And say, “My Lord, cause me to enter a sound entrance and to exit a sound exit and grant me from Yourself a supporting authority.”[Surah Al-‘Isra: 17;80]

A du‘ā’ for strength. For protection. For divine companionship when human companionship is scarce.

Let it be your anchor this Ramadan.

Ramadan as Your Sanctuary

If you enter this month feeling uninvited by people, know this:

Ramadan itself is your invitation.

It is the sanctuary Allah built for the hearts that wander. It is a refuge for the ones who feel spiritually homeless. It is the month that gathers the forgotten, the quiet, the tender, the unseen — and places them gently in the presence of God.

May this Ramadan be a sanctuary for your uninvited heart. May it soften what has hardened, heal what has been aching, and remind you that Allah’s Door is always open — even when every other door feels closed.

And may you leave this month knowing, with certainty, that you were never truly uninvited. You were simply being invited somewhere higher.

 

Related:

– A Ramadan Without Community, And Isolation The Whole Year Round

– Ramadan At The Uyghur Mosque: Community, Prayers, And Grief

 

The post Ramadan As A Sanctuary For The Lonely Heart appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

My husband and our children live in safety and comfort in Muslim-majority Malaysia. For the past few weeks before Ramadan, I noticed that there were already banners outside of restaurants advertising Ramadan buffets. There were already discussions around what we were going to wear for Eid. I would commiserate with my friends around our rush to pay back our qada fasts before Ramadan begins, and our intention to do better next time.  Alhamdulilah for the privilege of being part of the religious majority, in a country that is designed for Muslim families like mine.

Ramadan Intentions

My husband tells our children that every Ramadan, we aim to do better than the last. And this Ramadan, we’re trying to focus on cultivating a habit of daily dua. The most important dua we first encouraged our children to make is an avid hope that we all live to see Ramadan. Death is something we have the luxury of not thinking about while we’re rushing them through the busy school mornings. 

Gratitude Circles

It’s been a hit-and-miss process of figuring out consistent family rituals for us, but alhamdulilah, one ritual that has worked is our gratitude circle. After we pray Maghrib as a family, we take turns expressing one thing we’re grateful for, one thing that has been tricky, and one thing we’re looking forward to. In Ramadan, we can upgrade our gratitude circle by adding a sincere dua at the end for whatever we wish, and making dua for each other and the rest of the ummah. I hope that cultivating a habit of daily dua goes hand-in-hand with having shukr for all of our many blessings – and this is a much-needed reminder for me too.

Orienting Everything Back to Allah

Now that my children are all in primary school, they’re busy at school with their teachers and classmates. All my husband and I can do now is continue to instil as many Prophetic values when they are home with us – especially the habit of turning to Allah and asking Him for help, in all things. What I want them to develop – in addition to outward acts of worship like fasting and prayer – is a deep, internal connection and relationship with Allah . 

Turning Requests into Dua

“What I want them to develop is a deep, internal connection and relationship with Allah [swt]“[PC: Aldin Nasrun]

As much as my husband and I want to connect our children to success in the afterlife, they are still young and very much connected to their worldly desires. My children often have a constant barrage of requests for new toys and so on. Alhamdulilah, Allah sparked a creative solution for me. Instead of getting annoyed at my children’s often constant requests, I’ve realised three things:

1. Alhamdulilah, my children feel safe enough with me to confide their deepest desires, no matter how trivial. What seems small to me is actually a huge deal to them. 
2. Their childhood years living with me are so finite, and so foundational in their feelings of linking my husband and me with safety. Their teenage years feel so far away, but I want my children to know they can always come back to my husband and me when they run into more complex problems.
3. I’ve redirected their once-grating one-liners into a daily act of devotion. No matter what they ask me – within the realms of permissibility, of course! – I reply with my one simple one-liner: “Everything starts with dua.”

Sportscars, Dolls, and Phones

When my six-year-old asks for a toy sportscar, or my eight-year-old asks for another doll, or my ten-year-old asks for a phone, then my response remains the same – start with dua. Ask Allah first, before asking me. 

Turner of Hearts

My son was amazed when I told him that his duas can soften my heart and even his father’s. “So if I want something, but you say no, then Allah can make you say yes?” 

I nodded, very seriously. “Allah is the Turner of hearts.”

This gave my son a lightbulb moment of clarity, and I hope it can plant that seed of Allah’s Omnipotence. 

Ramadan in Times of Genocides

I talk to my children about how there are kids their age (and younger) who are struggling to find food to eat in Sudan and Palestine during regular days, and how their Ramadans look so different to ours. We are certain that there will be tasty food to eat at iftar time, but that isn’t the case for so many families. What we can do is continue to boycott unethical brands, and get into the habit of setting aside money to donate to trustworthy charities. 

Conclusion

Childhood is such a crucial time to set foundational habits that will serve our children well not only in this life, but also in the next, inshaAllah. Orienting all their desires to Allah , the Most-Generous, is a daily act of devotion that I hope and pray will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

 

Related:

– Beyond The External Trappings: Teaching Children The True Essence Of Ramadan

– The Key To Raising Children With The Book Of Allah? Getting Them Started Young

 

The post Cultivating A Lifelong Habit Of Dua In Children appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

This series is a collaboration between Dr. Ali and MuslimMatters, bringing Quranic wisdom to the questions Muslim families are navigating.

The Loyalty Trap

Here’s the conversation happening in Muslim homes right now:

Teen: “I know my friends are bad for me. But we’ve been tight since sixth grade. What should I do?”

Parent: “Just get new friends.”

Teen: shuts down completely

The parent isn’t wrong. But they’ve completely missed why this is so hard.

Because for a teenager, walking away from a long-term friendship isn’t just losing a friend.

It’s losing:

• Shared history
• Social identity
• The people who probably saw them through their hardest moments
• The people with whom they may have shared some of their most formative memories
• Their entire sense of belonging

“Just get new friends” is about as helpful as telling someone with depression to “just be happy.”

What teens actually need: A framework for understanding when loyalty becomes self-destruction—and permission to choose themselves.

The Quran provides both.

The Story Most People Skip

Surat al-Kahf (The Cave) is famous for being read every Friday. But most people rush past its opening story without taking the time to reflect on the message that story conveys.

The Companions of the Cave weren’t just people who hid in a cave.

They were young people who walked away from everything:

• Their families
• Their friends
• Their city
• Their entire social world

Because staying meant compromising, and most likely losing, their faith.

Surat Al-Kahf, ayah 13:

نَّحْنُ نَقُصُّ عَلَيْكَ نَبَأَهُم بِٱلْحَقِّ ۚ إِنَّهُمْ فِتْيَةٌ ءَامَنُوا۟ بِرَبِّهِمْ وَزِدْنَـٰهُمْ هُدًۭى

“This is their story in truth: They were youth people who believed in their Lord, and We increased them in guidance.”

“Young people.” Not scholars. Not elders. Young people—like your teen—who made an impossibly hard decision.

And what did Allah do?

He protected them. He gave them comfort. He made their story a lesson for all of humanity until the Day of Judgment.

They chose Allah over comfort. And Allah chose them.

The Key Ayah Parents Need to Know

Surat Al-Kahf, ayah 28:

وَٱصْبِرْ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ ٱلَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَبَّهُم بِٱلْغَدَوٰةِ وَٱلْعَشِىِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجْهَهُۥ ۖ وَلَا تَعْدُ عَيْنَاكَ عَنْهُمْ تُرِيدُ زِينَةَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا ۖ وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُۥ عَن ذِكْرِنَا وَٱتَّبَعَ هَوَىٰهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُۥ فُرُطًۭا

“Stay patient in the company of those who call upon their Lord morning and evening, seeking His Face. Don’t look beyond them, desiring the luxuries of this worldly life. And do not obey those whose hearts are heedless of Our remembrance, who follow only their desires, and who are in total loss.”

This ayah is a direct command—not a suggestion:

1. Be patient with righteous people – even if they’re less exciting, less popular, less fun
2. Don’t be dazzled by worldly appeal – the cool friend group isn’t worth your deen
3. Do not obey those heedless of Allah – even if they’re charismatic, loyal, or longstanding friends

If your teen has friends pulling them away from Allah—this ayah is speaking directly to their situation.

The Prophetic Warning

The Prophet ﷺ said:

الْمَرْءُ عَلَى دِينِ خَلِيلِهِ فَلْيَنْظُرْ أَحَدُكُمْ مَنْ يُخَالِلُ

“A person is on the religion of their close friend, so let each of you look to whom they take as a close friend.” (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

And:

“The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like a perfume seller and a blacksmith. The perfume seller might give you some perfume or you might buy from him, or at the very least you will enjoy a good smell. The blacksmith, however, might burn your clothes, or at the very least you will be exposed to smoke.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

The blacksmith analogy is critical:

The blacksmith isn’t trying to burn your clothes. They’re not a bad person. They’re just doing what blacksmiths do.

But you still leave with burns to your clothes and smelling like smoke.

Your teen’s friends don’t have to be malicious to be harmful.

They just have to be consistently pulling in the wrong direction.

Warning Signs: When Friendship Becomes Toxic

For Parents—Watch For:

1. Gradual prayer abandonment: They used to pray. Now they don’t. When did it start? Who did they start spending more time with around that time?
2. Increasing secrecy: Hiding their phone. Vague about where they’re going. Defensive about who they’re spending time with.
3. Personality shift: The teen you knew—their humor, their values, their interests—is disappearing. They’re becoming someone else.
4. Pulling away from Islamic activities: Used to come to the masjid, halaqa, youth group. Now makes excuses every time.
5. Defending friends no matter what: Even when their friends’ behavior is clearly wrong, your teen defends it aggressively. This often signals that loyalty has become identity.
6. “You just don’t like my friends”: When you raise concerns, they accuse you of being judgmental. This deflects from the actual issue.

For Teens: The Four Questions

Before deciding whether to walk away from a friendship, honestly answer:

1. Am I a better Muslim when I’m with them, or worse? Not “are they Muslim?” but “do I pray more or less when I’m around them?” “Do I make good choices when I am around them?”
2. Do I compromise my values to keep this friendship? If maintaining the friendship requires hiding your Islam, skipping prayers, or participating in haram—that’s your answer.
3. Do they respect my boundaries, or constantly push against them? Real friends—Muslim or not—respect your values even when they don’t share them. Toxic friends mock, pressure, and manipulate.
4. Would I be proud to stand before Allah with this friendship on my record? Not “would I be embarrassed?” but “would I be ashamed?” If you’d be ashamed, you already know.

Never forget this story from the Quran, from Surat as-Saafaat [37: 51-57]:

قَالَ قَآئِلٌ مِّنْهُمْ إِنِّى كَانَ لِى قَرِينٌ

“One of them will say: ‘I had a companion.”

يَقُولُ أَءِنَّكَ لَمِنَ الْمُصَدِّقِينَ

“Who used to say, ‘Are you one of those who believe?”

أَءِذَا مِتْنَا وَكُنَّا تُرَاباً وَعِظَـماً أَءِنَّا لَمَدِينُونَ

“(Like) That when we die and become dust and bones, that we will be indebted.” (Ibn ‘Abbas, may Allah be pleased with them both, said (that this means), “Rewarded or punished according to our deeds.”)

قَالَ هَلْ أَنتُمْ مُّطَّلِعُونَ

“He then said, ‘Will you look down’” (meaning, the believer will say this to his companions among the people of Paradise.)

فَاطَّلَعَ فَرَءَاهُ فِى سَوَآءِ الْجَحِيمِ

“So, he looked down and saw him in the midst of the Hell-Fire.”

قَالَ تَاللَّهِ إِن كِدتَّ لَتُرْدِينِ

“He said, ‘I swear by Allah! You nearly ruined me.” (The believer will say, addressing his former friend, “By Allah, you nearly caused me to be doomed, if I had obeyed you.”)

وَلَوْلاَ نِعْمَةُ رَبِّى لَكُنتُ مِنَ الْمُحْضَرِينَ

“Had it not been for the grace of my Lord, I would certainly have been among those in Hell.”

Your decision can have some serious consequences. That’s why this is so important.

Why “Just Get New Friends” Doesn’t Work

Parents often make this mistake: Identifying the problem (toxic friends) without addressing the solution (where do better friends come from?).

Telling a teen to leave a friend group without providing an alternative leaves them:

• Isolated
• Resentful
• Likely to return to the toxic group out of loneliness

The Companions of the Cave didn’t just walk away from their society. They walked away together.

They had each other.

Before encouraging your teen to walk away, ask:

• Is there a Muslim youth group they can connect with?
• Is there an MSA at their school or nearby university?
• Is there a halaqah, Quran class, or Islamic program where they could meet peers?
• Are there Muslim families in our community with teens the same age?
• If you are far from the jamaa’ah, I often tell parents that this means that they might have to sacrifice. Yes, maybe where you live now you have a great job, but you should seriously consider moving to a place where your children’s deen is protected. This is the concept of hijrah, which can include another city in the same country, not just another country.

The exit from toxic friendships must have a destination.

The “Just Say No” Problem

Here’s what most Islamic advice gets wrong about toxic friendships:

It tells teens to “be strong” and “resist temptation” without addressing the environment.

But the Prophet ﷺ didn’t just tell the early Muslims to “be strong” in Mecca.

He commanded hijrah—a physical departure from a toxic environment.

Environment matters more than willpower.

If your teen is the only practicing Muslim in their friend group, they’re swimming upstream every single day.

They can be strong. But eventually, they’ll be exhausted.

The goal isn’t resilience alone. It’s strategic community building that builds true resilience.

Your teen needs a tribe that pulls together in the same direction they’re trying to go.

The Hardest Part: The Aftermath

Walking away from toxic friends is hard. What comes after is harder.

The loneliness phase: For weeks—sometimes months—your teen may feel completely alone.

This is the most dangerous window. Because the old friends will reach out. And the emptiness will make those messages feel irresistible.

What parents can do during this phase:

1. Don’t say “I told you so” – Even if you were right, this closes the door
2. Increase family connection – Be more present, more fun, more engaged
3. Actively help build new connections – Don’t just say “find better friends”—make introductions, create opportunities
4. Validate the grief – “I know this is really hard. Losing friends hurts even when it’s the right decision.”
5. Point to the story of Ashab al-Kahf – Allah gave them something better. He will for your teen too.

As the Prophet ﷺ guarantees for us:

“For sure, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah, except that Allah will replace it with something better for you.” (Ahmad—authenticated by al-Arna’oot)

A Note on Gradual vs. Clean Breaks

Not every toxic friendship requires a dramatic exit.

Sometimes:

• Gradual distancing is safer (especially if the friendship has volatile elements)
• Redefining the relationship works (staying connected, but changing the dynamic)
• A direct conversation is appropriate (especially for longstanding friendships and especially if that friend is also Muslim—don’t abandon them to sin, support them to make better choices)

When a clean break is necessary:

• The friend is pressuring toward serious haram
• Your teen feels unsafe saying no
• Every contact pulls them back in

When gradual distancing is better:

• There’s history worth honoring
• The friendship has potential to improve
• A sudden exit would be dramatic or unsafe

Help your teen think through which approach fits their specific situation.

Discussion Questions for Families

For Teens:

1. Is there a friendship in your life right now that you know is pulling you away from Allah? What’s stopping you from creating distance?
2. If you walked away from this friendship, what would you actually lose? And what might you gain?
3. Where could you find Muslim peers who share your values?

For Parents:

1. Do you know your teen’s friends? Have you met them?
2. Have you noticed any of the warning signs listed above? What’s your next step?
3. Are you helping your teen build Muslim friendships, or just criticizing their current ones?

For Discussion Together:

1. The Companions of the Cave walked away from everything to protect their faith. What would that kind of courage look like for our family?
2. How can we create opportunities to connect with other Muslim families and teens?
3. What would it look like for our home to be a place where good friendships are built and sustained?

The Challenge

For Parents: This week, make one concrete effort to connect your teen with practicing Muslim peers. Invite a practicing Muslim family over. Take your teen to a youth program. Make the introduction you’ve been meaning to make.

For Teens: Identify one friendship that you know is pulling you away from Allah. You don’t have to end it today. But be honest with yourself about what it’s costing you—and start thinking about what a healthier alternative could look like.

Remember: The Companions of the Cave didn’t just run away from something. They ran toward Allah.

That’s the model.

Continue the Journey

This is Night 9 of Dr. Ali’s 30-part Ramadan series, “30 Nights with the Quran: Stories for the Seeking Soul.”

Tomorrow, insha Allah: Night 10 – “Crushes, Attraction & Halal Feelings” (the topic nobody talks about, but everyone is thinking about)

For daily extended reflections with journaling prompts, personal stories, and deeper resources, join Dr. Ali’s email community: https://30nightswithquran.beehiiv.com

Related:

What Islam Actually Says About NonMuslim Friends | Night 8 with the Qur’an

30 Nights with the Qur’an: A Ramadan Series for Muslim Teens

The post When to Walk Away from Toxic Friends | Night 9 with the Qur’an appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

I embraced Islam at the end of August 2000, over twenty-five years ago. Ramadan arrived just three months later, beginning in late November and stretching into late December. It was the year Ramadan coincided with the heart of the American holiday season. Thanksgiving had just passed, and Christmas was around the corner. My mother had decorated the house with a Christmas tree and string lights; familiar carols were playing in grocery stores; families were out shopping for gifts, and it seemed that everyone was anticipating the holidays except me. 

I was a brand-new Muslim.

Although I had been studying Islam quietly for several years before taking my shahada, I had never fasted before. Coming from a Catholic tradition and a Puerto Rican background meant that Lent was the only type of fast I knew. For us, it meant not eating meat on Fridays and giving up vices for forty days. The Ramadan fast was something completely different. I understood the basic rulings like no food or drink from just before dawn to sunset, but that was the extent of my knowledge. I did not know the finer details of fasting or its legal rulings. I did not know what would invalidate the fast, what was disliked, or how to structure my days around it. What I did know was that I would be doing this largely alone. Yet even in that season of uncertainty, there were a few individuals whose quiet acts of kindness would shape my first Ramadan in lasting ways.

At the time, I was living in Augusta, Georgia, and I did not know of a Muslim community nearby. The world was different back then. We had landline cordless telephones mounted to kitchen walls, analog cell phones with limited minutes, and VHS tapes stacked beside television sets. There were a fortunate few like me who had access to a desktop computer, where the internet was accessed through the unmistakable mechanical screech of dial-up. Unlike now, there was no social media, no unlimited texting, and no smartphone alarms or adhan clocks to remind you to wake up for suhoor. 

If a new Muslim had a question, they either found someone to call or they waited. Unless they had an established support system, it was a lonely time to be a convert. My closest Muslim friends lived in Maryland, but since I had moved to Georgia, they did not even know I was considering converting. Much of my journey unfolded internally, between myself and Allah .

The Phone Call that Started it All

I relied heavily on America Online (AOL) chat rooms, searching for Muslim screen names or anyone who might live somewhere near Georgia. I would enter digital spaces filled with strangers, hoping to strike up a conversation or to find someone who would answer a question about Islam. That is how I had met the brother who helped me declare my shahada – a youth coordinator from a mosque in Atlanta. When I first reached out to him in a chatroom, he seemed apprehensive, but when I explained my interest in Islam, he offered to call me. That lone phone call changed the course of my life. After asking me some questions, he helped me recite the declaration of faith over the phone. Then he drove nearly three hours to introduce me to his cousins, who lived near me, bringing a prayer rug, a hijab, and a few introductory books. Little by little, my support system started to take shape.   

But Ramadan was approaching, and not only would it be my first fast, but it would also be the first time I would quietly step back from the holidays my family still cherished. I was still living under my parents’ roof, so I understood this transition would require patience and care. I learned to move thoughtfully, navigating the quiet tension between the faith that I had embraced and the home in which I had been raised. As the reality of the fast dawned on me, I began to realize that the thirst I would experience would extend beyond drink. I would be thirsty for guidance, for companionship, and for a sense of community. 

The Convert who Gave me a Book

As Ramadan drew closer, I started to feel a sense of panic. I knew that fasting was obligatory. I knew that I was expected to abstain from food and drink from dawn until sunset. What I did not know was how I would manage it in a household that was not fasting, or whether I would be able to endure it physically and emotionally. The thought of it intimidated me. I wondered how I was supposed to enter such a significant month of worship without guidance.

Around that time, I connected online with another convert who was living on the military base near us. My father worked on that same base, so in a way our worlds overlapped, even if only slightly. His name was Idris. When I confided in him about my anxiety over my first Ramadan, he listened with understanding that only another convert could fully offer. He told me he had a small book that might help answer some of my questions and brought it to me in person. 

The book was called The Essentials of Ramadan. It was modest in size, but to me it felt comprehensive. It explained the structure of the fast, the suhoor meal before dawn, what would invalidate the fast, and what would not. It clarified matters I had not even thought to ask about, including the small details that can cause uncertainty for someone new. Having that information gave me confidence. It transformed Ramadan from overwhelming to structured and attainable. 

Decades later, I remain genuinely grateful to Idris for that act of kindness. After he gave me the book and we spoke about Ramadan, our paths diverged, and I never heard from him again. Over the years, I have sometimes reflected on how brief yet meaningful that chance encounter was. Allah knows best the wisdom behind such moments, but I do know that his willingness to share a simple resource changed my experience of that first Ramadan in ways he likely never imagined.

Looking back now, I see how small acts of support can leave a lasting imprint. A book. A phone call. A message that says, “Here is what you need to know.” For someone entering Ramadan without family support or community, that guidance can be the difference between fear and confidence. Even if our time is limited, even if our role in someone’s life is brief, we can help steady their steps. More than twenty-five years later, I still remember the brother who handed me a small book and made me feel less alone.

The Supportive Sister

Idris was not the only person who helped me during that first Ramadan. Surprisingly, once the month began, I found the fast manageable. I was attending school and working at the same time, so my days were busy enough to keep my mind occupied. I worked in the customer service department of a local newspaper, so I was constantly speaking with people. The structure of my schedule helped the hours pass quickly, so the hunger and thirst did not overwhelm me. What unsettled me most was something far more trivial. I felt self-conscious about my breath while fasting!

Because I worked closely with customers and colleagues, I worried that fasting made my breath unpleasant. Before Islam, chewing gum throughout the day had been routine for me, and suddenly that small habit was no longer available. I remember wondering whether the people I spoke to could notice, and whether they would judge me. For a new Muslim already navigating an internal transformation, even something as minor as this felt magnified.

During Ramadan, a sister who was related to the youth director who had helped me take my shahada came to visit me at work. She had recently returned from a trip and brought me dates and a few small gifts. More importantly, she came simply to check on me and ask how I was managing my first Ramadan. When I confessed to her that it was not the fast itself that was the difficulty, but the embarrassment about my breath, she responded with gentle reassurance. She shared with me the words of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, who said: 

“By the One in whose hand is my soul, the odor coming from the mouth of a fasting person is more pleasant to Allah Almighty than the scent of musk. Allah said: He leaves his food, his drink, and his passions for My sake. The fast is for Me and I will reward him for it with a good deed ten times like it.” [Sahih Bukhari 1894]

“For a new Muslim, that kind of understanding carries immense weight. It communicates that someone sees you, understands your sensitivities, and wants you to succeed.”

Hearing that hadith changed my perspective immediately. What I had viewed as a source of shame was, in reality, an act beloved by Allah . I felt a rush of confidence and relief, along with a deeper love and awe for my Creator. She also offered practical advice, reminding me that I could rinse my mouth carefully without swallowing water and brush my teeth during the day as long as I was cautious. That combination of comfort and practical guidance brought me so much ease during a vulnerable moment.

In retrospect, I realize how significant that visit was. The sister addressed my concerns without delivering a lecture or overwhelming me with legal rulings.  She simply took the time to show up, ask how I was doing, and share a hadith that reframed my experience. For a new Muslim, that kind of understanding carries immense weight. It communicates that someone sees you, understands your sensitivities, and wants you to succeed. More than twenty-five years later, I still remember that conversation, especially whenever I come across this hadith:

“Whoever relieves the hardship of a believer in this world, Allah will relieve his hardship on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever helps ease one in difficulty, Allah will make it easy for him in this world and the Hereafter…” [Sahih Muslim 2699]

I pray that Allah rewards every single individual who supported me before and during my first Ramadan, those who answered questions, shared resources, visited me at work, or simply took the time to check in. Their gestures may have seemed small to them, but they carried tremendous weight in my life. With their encouragement, I found the confidence to continue stepping forward.

The Continuous Search for Belonging

Part of that journey included attending taraweeh prayers. I did not attend many during that first Ramadan because of my work and school schedule, but when I did go, the experience was unforgettable. The mosque community at the time was warm and welcoming. I was introduced to the imam, and when I told him I was a convert, he made a point of making me feel comfortable. He offered his contact information and encouraged me to reach out if I needed guidance. 

I also traveled to Maryland to visit my Muslim friends and participated in community gatherings and tarawih there. Moving between communities allowed me to see the broader fabric of the ummah, and it reminded me that even if I lived in isolation, I was part of something much greater. There was a tangible sense of unity in the masjid. I knew that everyone was fasting and striving, and that awareness gave me strength. Even when I returned home to a household not observing Ramadan, I knew that across the city and around the world, others were fasting alongside me.

Experiencing that communal spirit was important, especially as someone who had entered Islam with limited local support. At the same time, I came to understand that not every convert encounters the same welcome. Some enter mosques and feel invisible. Others lack family stability or community connection. For new Muslims, Ramadan can magnify both belonging and isolation. That is why our Islamic centers must be intentional in cultivating spaces of care, guidance, and understanding. A convert navigating their first Ramadan carries questions, vulnerabilities, and often complicated family dynamics. My hope is that in this Ramadan and in many Ramadans to come, new Muslims experience the same welcome and reassurance that carried me through my first fast. 

 

Related:

– [Podcast] Navigating Christmas: Advice to Converts, from Converts | Hazel Gomez & Eman Manigat

– I’ve Converted, And It’s Christmas…

 

The post My First Ramadan As A Convert: The Lengths Small Acts of Kindness Can Go appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

The sounds of Afghan history are being erased to prevent music’s ‘moral corruption’ of the Afghan people. We can help keep Afghanistan’s music alive. Plus, Eliane Radigue’s deep listening, and the brilliance of Sinners’s score

The horrors of the Taliban’s rule in Afghanistan are all-encompassing. New laws that effectively legalise domestic abuse means that every woman in the country now lives with the threat of state-sanctioned violence. In the context of the twin tragedies of the Taliban’s fundamentalist zealotry, and the rest of the world’s silence in the face of their atrocities, the fate of Afghanistan’s cultural life might seem a smaller catastrophe. Yet it’s equivalently devastating.

The recent burning of hundreds of musical instruments and equipment – reported last week on Afghan National Television – is the latest stage of the Taliban morality police’s ongoing mission to destroy all these artefacts. Last week’s pyre included tablas and harmoniums, instruments that are the bedrocks of Afghanistan’s unique tradition of classical music, as well as keyboards and amplifiers.

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Brussels officials take umbrage at factual reporting on how they weaponize anti-Semitism.

This series is a collaboration between Dr. Ali and MuslimMatters, bringing Quranic wisdom to the questions Muslim families are navigating.

The Question That Divides Families

“Can I be friends with non-Muslims?”

This question causes more conflict in Muslim households than almost any other.

The teen’s perspective: “My best friend isn’t Muslim, but she’s the only one who showed up when I was struggling. She respects my faith. She even fasted with me during Ramadan. But the masjid says this is haram. Am I supposed to cut her off?”

The parent’s fear: “My child’s entire friend group is non-Muslim. They’re nice kids, but I’m terrified my child will drift away from Islam. Should I force them to only hang out with Muslims?”

Both are asking the wrong question.

What the Quran Actually Says (And Doesn’t Say)

The ayah everyone quotes:

Surat al-Ma’idah [5:51]:

“O believers! Do not take Jews and Christians as awliya…”

People hear this and conclude: “See? No non-Muslim friends.”

But here’s the problem: “Awliya” doesn’t mean “friends.”

Awliya (singular: wali) means:

• Guardians
• Protectors
• Those you turn to for ultimate allegiance and moral authority
• Those you prioritize over Allah’s guidance

This ayah is NOT saying: “Don’t have lunch with your non-Muslim classmate.”

This ayah IS saying: “Don’t give your ultimate loyalty, spiritual allegiance, or moral compass to those who oppose Islam.”

Context matters: This was revealed when some Muslims were abandoning the Prophet ﷺ and siding with enemies actively fighting Islam.

That’s not the same as having a supportive, respectful friend who happens to be a Christian, for example.

The Ayah That Changes Everything

Surat al-Mumtahanah [60:8]:

“Allah does not forbid you from dealing lovingly and fairly with those who have neither fought nor driven you out of your homes. Certainly, Allah loves those who are fair.”

“Dealing lovingly”—birr—is the same word used for how you treat your parents (birr al-walidayn).

Read that again.

Allah is using the SAME language for non-Muslims who are peaceful as He uses for your own parents.

That’s not just tolerance. That’s genuine care, kindness, and relationship.

The Prophetic Model: Friendships Across Faith Lines

Here’s what most Muslims don’t know:

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ had close, loyal relationships with non-Muslims throughout his life.

Examples:

1. An-Najashi (the Christian King of Abyssinia)

• Protected Muslims when they were persecuted
• When he died, the Prophet ﷺ mourned him deeply
• The Prophet ﷺ prayed janazah for him in absentia

2. Non-Muslim allies during the boycott

• When Muslims were starving during the boycott of Banu Hashim
• Non-Muslim relatives and allies smuggled food to them
• The Prophet ﷺ maintained these relationships

This wasn’t “tolerance.” This was genuine relationship built on mutual respect.

The Framework: Permission + Wisdom

Here’s what Islam actually teaches:

Permission:

You CAN have non-Muslim friends

You CAN care for them, support them, work with them

You CAN learn from them, laugh with them, be there for them

You CAN defend them when they’re wronged

Wisdom-Based Boundaries:

Your CLOSEST friends—your inner circle—should be people who push you toward Allah

A non-Muslim friend can only elevate you so far spiritually

Don’t compromise Islamic values to maintain the friendship

Don’t make them your ultimate moral authority over Allah’s guidance

It’s not haram vs. halal as much as it’s permission vs. wisdom.

What Parents Need to Understand

Your teen’s non-Muslim friends aren’t automatically a threat.

Ask better questions:

Not: “Are they Muslim?” But: “Do they respect your faith?”

Not: “Do they pray?” But: “Do they support and respect you when you pray?”

Not: “Will they take you to Jannah?” But: “Do they make it easier or harder for you to practice Islam?”

The Reality Check (from 20+ Years of Experience)

Here’s the uncomfortable truth from working with Muslim youth for over two decades:

When Muslims have deep friendships with non-Muslims as their PRIMARY social circle, 95% end up in one of two paths:

Path 1 (uncommon, but beautiful): The non-Muslim friend accepts Islam. The friendship goes to the highest level. Everyone wins.

Path 2 (far more common): The Muslim slowly drifts from Islam until they’re either:

• “Muslim by name only” (barely practicing)
• No longer identifying as Muslim at all

Why does this happen?

Not because the non-Muslim friend is malicious.

But because:

• Good intentions don’t prevent drift
• Even supportive friends can’t push you to Islamic heights
• The influence flows from majority to minority
• Subtle pressures compound over time

The consequences of Path 2:

• Broken families
• Broken hearts
• Long-term regret
• Spiritual emptiness

This isn’t fear-mongering. This is pattern recognition from hundreds of cases.

The Classical Wisdom

From the Hadith:

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet ﷺ said, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” (Tirmidhī)

From the Companions:

Abdullah ibn Mas’ud, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “Remember Allah Almighty often. Do not accompany anyone unless they help you remember Allah (‘Azza wa Jal).” (Shu’ab al-Imān)

Abu Darda, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion….” (Rawḍat al-‘Uqalā’)

From Imam Ash-Shafi’i:

“Three things will increase your intellect: sitting with the scholars, sitting with righteous people, and leaving off speech that doesn’t concern you.”

From Sufyan Al-Thawri:

“There is nothing that corrupts a person or helps them be better more than their close friend.”

Your teen’s closest circle will shape their deen more than almost any other factor.

The Both/And Approach for Families

For Teens:

Yes:

• You can have non-Muslim friends
• You can care about them deeply
• You can learn from them
• You can be there for them

But:

• Make sure your closest friends are pushing you toward Allah
• Don’t surround yourself primarily with non-Muslims
• Invite your non-Muslim friends to Islam (through character first, then words)
• If they pressure you to compromise, that’s a red flag

For Parents:

Don’t:

• Force your teen to cut off all non-Muslim friends
• Treat every non-Muslim as a spiritual threat
• Make Islam feel like isolation

Do:

• Help them build strong Muslim friendships alongside non-Muslim ones
• Ask about the QUALITY of friendships, not just the religion
• Model healthy non-Muslim relationships yourself
• Create opportunities for them to connect with practicing Muslim peers

The Da’wah Question

Here’s what the video addresses, but it deserves expansion:

“Why haven’t you invited your close friend to Islam?”

This reframes everything.

If you truly believe Islam is the truth, and you genuinely care about this friend—why wouldn’t you want them to have what you have? Why wouldn’t you want them to succeed in the Hereafter?

Not through pushy lectures. But through:

• Living Islam so beautifully they ask questions
• Being so consistent in character they notice
• Answering their questions honestly when they arise
• Sharing your faith naturally, not by forcibly

Many of the greatest Muslims—both today and historically—came to Islam through friends.

The question is: Are you influencing them, or are they influencing you?

Discussion Questions for Families

For Teens:

1. List your 5 closest friends. Are you a better Muslim around them, or worse?
2. Have you ever invited your non-Muslim friends to learn about Islam? Why or why not?
3. If you had to choose between a friendship and your deen, which would you choose? (Be honest—your answer reveals where you are.)

For Parents:

1. Do you have any close non-Muslim friends? How do you maintain that relationship with boundaries?
2. Have you helped your teen build strong Muslim friendships, or just criticized their non-Muslim ones?
3. What does “righteous companionship” look like practically for your teen’s age and context?

For Discussion Together:

1. What’s the difference between a friend who “tolerates” your Islam and a friend who “supports” it?
2. How can we judge friendships by their fruit (impact) rather than by labels (religion)?

What would it look like for our family to practice “birr” (kindness) toward our non-Muslim neighbors and friends?

The Bottom Line

Can your teen have non-Muslim friends?

Yes—but with wisdom.

Should their entire social circle be non-Muslim?

No—that’s spiritually dangerous.

What’s the ideal?

A mix: Non-Muslim friends who respect their faith + Muslim friends who elevate their deen + a clear understanding that the closest circle should be those who push them toward Allah.

It’s not about isolation. It’s about being intentional.

Continue the Journey

This is Night 8 of Dr. Ali’s 30-part Ramadan series, “30 Nights with the Quran: Stories for the Seeking Soul.”

Tomorrow, insha Allah: Night 9 – “When Friends Pull You Away” (The Companions of the Cave and recognizing when a friendship has become toxic)

For daily extended reflections with journaling prompts, personal stories, and deeper resources, join Dr. Ali’s email community: https://30nightswithquran.beehiiv.com/

Related:

30 Nights with the Qur’an: A Ramadan Series for Muslim Teens

Week 1 in Review: Is Your Teen Actually Changing? | Night 7 with the Qur’an

The post What Islam Actually Says About NonMuslim Friends | Night 8 with the Qur’an appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

Possible 2028 Democratic presidential candidates criticize Islamophobic Republican.

As a person born with a muscular physical disability, who now uses a wheelchair, I naturally hoped that all of our masajid would be accessible. The access to elevators instead of needing to climb a flight of stairs. This need for accessibility grew even more after witnessing my parents age, because it was the norm for my father to carry me up while my mother carried the wheelchair, but now it was increasingly getting difficult for them.

I unexpectedly got married, but out of shyness, I never wanted my husband to carry me publicly. The only way to climb a flight of stairs, in this scenario, was to have at least three men carry me when seated on the wheelchair, while having another person carry my other belongings. I coincidentally have two younger brothers, so they usually assist my husband when carrying me. This made me think of my privilege, which increasingly caused unsettlement over the lack of accessibility within the Masjid.

I had the privilege of not only getting married as a sister with a disability—which is sadly still rare and a topic of taboo—but also had the privilege of having more mahrams around me to help out. There was sometimes the Masjid staff uncle to help out, too, and we would accept his help whenever either of my brothers could not be present. I, however, still had the privilege of my family—especially my father—being relatively known within the Hong Kong Muslim community, which made it easier to ask for help. I recognized that this might not be the case for everyone and, therefore, did not feel comfortable accepting that our masjid was not fully accessible.

The lack of accessibility in my eyes meant that many navigating accessibility barriers are not welcomed to attend communal events. This lack of accommodation occurred even more during the month of Ramadan, because of the increased number of crowds, resulting in increased safety hazards for even trying to be lifted up the stairs.

I felt a tremendous amount of guilt for not being able to solve the accessibility barriers. This guilt increased even more as an author and disability advocate, who was also aware of the scarcity of land in Hong Kong. I understood the complexity of trying to improve accommodations within old buildings. The awareness that there were many who cared—including some in the position of authority—but they just genuinely did not know how to find solutions.

My thoughts on the lack of accessibility, due to stairs, were suddenly challenged during the November 2025 Tai Po fires in Hong Kong that killed 161 people. Residents within the Tai Po building complex were left carrying those with mobility barriers down the stairs as an act of mercy in its most urgent form. Our community was not prepared for such a dire calamity to hit, but as a larger society, we were more unprepared for effective strategies to help those with mobility barriers down the stairs, let alone in a state of emergency.

What do we do when our staircases are suddenly packed with panicked crowds because the building we are in—and surrounding buildings—are engulfed in flames?

How can we function and think in such a state?

Who are amongst those who have a higher risk of not being able to escape?

Do we choose to just save our own lives, or do we also try to save the lives of those with mobility barriers?

There was a sudden realization that stairs are not necessarily barriers at all times. Stairs can be forms of escape and the route to safety, especially when it is more unsafe to use the elevator. We will always need stairs within buildings despite other forms of accessibility. We would always need to be trained to get down the stairs even before a calamity hits.

Our city was in agony and grieving.

People with disabilities—which included me—felt this extra layer of grief because we understood how much our community needed to be prepared not only in a time of calamity but in everyday life.

Our communities have a long way to go.

I could not help but think about Ramadan after the Tai Po fires, because Ramadan is a time when our Masjid is most crowded, and when Muslims are usually in a state of panic for not wanting to miss iftaar and taraweeh prayers. Before, I thought of avoiding the Masjid during Ramadan, just to not get in the way, but now, I think Ramadan is the best time to be present, in order to train our community for emergency preparedness. I think this even more after reflecting on the purpose behind the month of Ramadan as a month of mercy and communal unity.

Here are ways in which Ramadan, as a month of merc,y can prepare us before communal calamity:

1. Acts of Mercy as a Form of Worship

Ramadan is not just a month for fasting because not everyone can fast. Ramadan is a month of mercy for us to remember Allah and also our most vulnerable. Recognize that some may not have food, or that there are community members going through calamity, and needing support. Embodying mercy is encouraged, especially as an act of worship. It should, therefore, come naturally to offer help if noticing that anyone is struggling, including with accessibility.

“Mercy can be shown by prioritizing accessibility and working together to find solutions.” [PC: Clyde He (unsplash)]

The act of offering help is just a basic act of mercy, though. Mercy can be shown by prioritizing accessibility and working together to find solutions. Stairwells without evacuation chairs, masajid without clear exit routes, and community centers without inclusive drills all place vulnerable members at risk. Ramadan, however, offers a unique opportunity to reframe accessibility as a spiritual obligation towards mercy enacted through preparedness.

“And cooperate in righteousness and piety”[Surah Al-Ma’idah: 5;2]

Why wait for an emergency to cooperate together as a community? Ramadan is the best time to learn what cooperation is, what it looks like in action, and acts of righteousness that increase one in piety.

We have lost the essence of Ramadan if we see a mother struggling to carry a stroller but choose to ignore her by rushing for taraweeh. It is a missed opportunity for righteousness and acting consciously. Piety requires us to act consciously, so the conscious effort to act with mercy inadvertently ends up as a form of worship, too.

2. Discipline from Ramadan to Communal Responsibility 

Praying the five daily prayers—as well as taraweeh—and fasting from dawn to dusk trains individuals in patience, discipline, and time awareness. These are qualities that we need in emergency preparedness. Emergency preparedness trains the community in social responsibility and cooperation, but we should not wait for a calamity to occur to develop these skills. Ramadan is there, rather, to help us develop these skills, as it is designed for us to take more social responsibility through donations and awareness of poverty. It is designed for us to cooperate in sighting the moon to decide when Ramadan begins as well as ends. Ramadan additionally facilitates us to come together to arrange and distribute food. Manage crowds gathered in one place so that everyone can pray on time and then leave with safety, too.

The discipline that we are trained to achieve during Ramadan needs to be translated more into communal responsibility in everyday life in order to prepare for emergencies. This can only occur if we know how Ramadan is training us. A lot of us are being trained without being aware of being trained. This is the missing link. Training needs to be highlighted as a form of discipline, so we can realize that it is not only helping us prepare for Ramadan, but also for emergency preparedness as a community.

A way to discipline our community further during Ramadan is to see how crowds within our Masajid can be mobilized for awareness campaigns and evacuation drills. Just as fasting heightens our awareness of hunger, preparedness heightens our awareness of vulnerability. Ramadan is not only about abstaining from food and drink—it is about feeding mercy into action by ensuring no one is left behind.

3. Ramadan Emphasizes that We are All Vulnerable and How Every Life Matters

The food we have is because of Allah . Our ability to eat is because of Allah . It is not for us to decide whose life is more valuable. Ramadan rather makes it clear that all lives are valuable and that we are all equally vulnerable before Him.

People with disabilities, and our elderly, were not the only ones vulnerable within the Tai Po fires. Every human being—and pet—present was vulnerable. The degree of vulnerability one faces may differ, but when calamity hits, this is not usually the focus. The focus usually is saving lives and getting out of a difficult situation.

The mindset that we have towards others during a calamity is a mindset necessary to keep throughout the year. Saving lives or making the lives of those around us better needs to be our general priority, even before calamity hits. Our priority must always be getting anyone out of difficulty—out of empathy—due to considering the life of someone generally valuable.

                 “Whoever saves one life, it is as if he has saved all of humanity” [Surah Al-Ma’idah; 5:32]

This mindset of valuing each life—regardless of background—can be more easily cultivated during Ramadan. This cultivation will prepare us not to think twice about whether or not to save someone during an emergency.

The Masjid that I go to may have stairs, but it also has an emergency door exit, which makes it clear that advocating for emergency preparedness through training the community needs to be a focus. Recently, a group of us has started a branch under our Masjid’s committee, called Rise with Mercy. It is hoped to eventually address the topic of accessibility—including during the month of Ramadan—to train our community towards preparedness in emergencies.

If we truly consider Ramadan a month of mercy, all of us need to commit towards making our Masajid places of safety and preparedness, so that as a community we are unified and trained before any calamity.

 

Related:

– [Podcast] Muslims and Disability: A Way Forward | Sa’diyyah Nesar

– Reflections On Observing Ramadan With A Disability

The post Ramadan, Disability, And Emergency Preparedness: How The Month Of Mercy Can Prepare Us Before Communal Calamity appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

Ranked among the many issues for which the winter of 2025-26 might be remembered in the United States – ranging from explosive exposes of abusive tycoons linked to a country whose genocide of Palestine Washington has long supported, to a regime-change raid in Venezuela, to sabre-rattling over Greenland – is the conduct and controversy of its immigration enforcement agency, commonly known as ICE, particularly in Minnesota. And central to the Minnesota operation has been a long-running smear campaign against Somalis by the American right wing.

Somalis as an Easy Target

Although their narratives have been bubbling for several years among the far-right, misinformation and hate-mongering toward Somalis in the United States came to international attention in December 2025 when the immigration enforcement militia descended on Minnesota and promptly began to arrest thousands of people, supposedly on suspicion of illegal immigration. Somalis have in particular been targeted by Donald Trump’s regime, whose officials have recklessly flung around accusations of scams against Somalis at large.

The American far-right has a history of targeting one minority after another – Mexicans, infamously, were an early target of choice during Trump’s first electoral campaign a decade ago – and the needle has swung to Somalis. But their status as a visible and distinctive minority is not the only reason that Somali-Americans have been targeted with special venom. Somalis simultaneously tick several boxes for the far-right and the various networks, influencers, and rabble-rousers who incite them. For one thing, Somalis are overwhelmingly Muslims; for another, they are quite distinctly black Africans. Thirdly, the Minnesotan politician Ilhan Omar, from the liberal opposition, has been a favourite target of the right-wing since she was elected in 2019. Fourthly, Minnesota’s governor, Timothy Walz, was the opposition’s vice-presidential nominee in the last election, and the government has made a point of attacking him: to claim that Minnesota is drowning in Somali fraud implicates Walz as well.

“Minnesotan politician Ilhan Omar, from the liberal opposition, has been a favourite target of the right-wing since she was elected in 2019.”

The Somalia War and the United States

Beyond internecine American politics, however, there are also broader geopolitical and institutional issues. Somalia carries popular connotations of state failure and militia anarchy owing to the civil war of the 1990s. More recently, the United States has been heavily involved in Somalia’s war, mainly but not exclusively through regular airstrikes that peaked under Trump’s first tenure. The American role in this war is rarely mentioned or debated at home, and this makes it easy for the far-right to target Somali diasporas as opportunistic “aliens”.

Somalia was famously labelled the world’s first “failed state” in the 1990s, after a longstanding military dictatorship armed to the teeth by Washington was ousted. Supposedly in order to relieve a famine – which, in fact, had largely passed by the time they deployed – American soldiers were sent at the helm of a United Nations mission to Somalia, where they proved entirely incapable of appreciating, let alone navigating, the war’s fractious politics, which they only exacerbated with their imperious and frequently gung-ho attitude.

The United Nations secretary-general Boutros Boutros-Ghali – a pro-American former foreign minister of Egypt – was unsatisfied with famine relief and intended to make the mission an example of United Nations jurisdiction backed up by American power. In fact, the leaders of the original famine relief mission, Algerian diplomat Mohamed Sahnoun and Pakistani commander Imtiaz Shaheen, resigned in disgust, Shaheen describing the attitude toward Somalia as that of an opportunistic scientist trying to test a vaccine on an animal. Boutros-Ghali’s dismissive arrogance toward the region, especially toward Somalia’s most powerful militia commander, Farah Aidid, was shared by the American admiral in charge of the mission, Jonathan Howe.

Pithily nicknamed “Animal Howe” rather than “Admiral Howe” by Somali detractors, Howe’s incompetence only exacerbated Somali polarization, while both American and other United Nations soldiers were frequently guilty of abuses and gratuitous brutality, with the Habirgidir clan in Mogadishu a particular target. Though by the conservative guess of its own military, American bombardment killed some three thousand Somalis over the course of the year, the abiding memory of the campaign was the killing of eighteen American soldiers, several of whose corpses were dragged through the streets, by Somali militants in the October 1993 Battle of Mogadishu. With no attention to the wider context or the much greater human cost borne by the Somalis, Somalia was myopically recalled in the United States as a case of barbaric ingratitude for a relief mission.

However, the 1993 campaign was only the first chapter in a long American military involvement in Somalia. During the 2000s, the United States funded a number of predatory militias to hunt down Islamists as part of its “war on terror”, and in 2006, this backfired when the Islamists captured Mogadishu. Thereafter, the United States not only ousted the Islamists with a military invasion, largely conducted through airstrikes and commandos, but did so in league with Somalia’s “Auld Enemy” Ethiopia – an aspiring regional hegemon whose rivalry with Somalia is akin to that between India and Pakistan, between China and Taiwan, or between the two Koreas.

During the late 2000s, many Somalis from the diaspora fought in the subsequent insurgency against the invasion. The most prominent insurgent faction, Shabaab, actively urged foreign and diaspora Muslims to join its campaign: in turn, American “counterterrorism” agencies increasingly focused on Somali-Americans during this period. The United States is therefore closely intertwined with the Somali war: American airpower and diplomacy have been key ingredients in a twenty-year occupation, while Shabaab appeals have prompted increased institutional scrutiny on Somali-Americans long before Trump came to power.

None of this history is countenanced, let alone appreciated, by America’s far-right: instead, Somalis, like other minorities, are treated in racist logic as “Third Worlders” genetically predisposed to make a mess of whatever country they visit. This has been amplified by the attempts of pro-Israel influencers, who have whipped up smear campaigns against many Muslim populations in North America and the United States: in the United States, Somalis have become a favoured target for far-right networks both linked to Israel and not, including those to which Trump is keenest to pander.

Theatrics and Diversions in Minnesota’s Winter of Discontent

Trump, and the American right wing at large, have long set deportations of alleged “illegals” as an unabashed aim. Mass deportations of illegal immigrants are hardly a novelty in American politics; Trump’s gleefully menacing “Border Czar” Tom Homan cut his teeth under the Democratic regime of Barack Obama. What is newer is the blatant politicization, undisguised ethnic profiling, and unrestrained glee, often crossing the line into sadism, that is involved in crackdowns. Over seventy thousand people across the United States have been arrested, frequently in galling conditions, on evidence that is usually thin where it exists at all: over four thousand of these have fallen prey to the grandly announced Minnesota crackdown, where masked “ICE” agents were joined by border patrollers with a similarly cavalier attitude toward such inconveniences as trigger discipline or proof of guilt.

This attitude was on show when masked agents shot dead, on camera, two civilians without provocation and were blamed by officials as senior as Trump’s blustery deputy James Vance for their own murders. It was also on display when Somali-American driver Ahmed bin-Hassan was accosted in his car at work by over a dozen agents who demanded his documentation. With a cool and cheeky, almost mocking humour, remarkable given that a civilian had already recently been killed by federal agents, bin-Hassan challenged the agents.

“‘Can I see your identity?’” he asked, echoing an agent’s question. “Why the hell would I show random people my ID? You want to steal my identity? Where’s your ID? Let me check if you’re a US citizen, how about that? Hey, you guys better move on, man.” Noticing their Border Patrol insignia, he added, “Dude, listen. I’m here working, you’re working too, right? So go, it says ‘U.S. Border Patrol’, this is not the border. Go to the Canada border or the Mexico border. I’m working, dude.”

Bewildered by this uncommon commonsense defiance, the agents pointed out his Somali accent, as if different accents in a multiethnic country were an indication of guilt. “Oh, so you going by accents now? Is that what it is? Is that an accent? Have you heard the Israeli accent? Have you heard the European accent? It’s garbage.”

As the faltering agents continued to hover, bin-Hassan held firm. “I’m not gonna show you, I don’t have to show you anything. If a police officer comes here, I’ll comply with it, but you, as Border Patrol, I don’t even know if you’re a real police officer. Where’s your ID? Where’s your ID?” Referring to the nameless labels that the officers wore, he added, “And I’m not gonna go by C20. That’s a, that’s a periodic chemical, that’s a periodic element. C20? What are you, Cobalt 20?”

Border police commander Greg Bovino

Matters reached such a stage that the bewildered agents were forced to call in a man without a mask, their commander Gregory Bovino – who, with his longcoat and crewcut, has swaggered at the centre of the crackdown controversy- was called in, but the Somali-American driver held his ground.

Bovino’s attempts at intimidation have often backfired, but his officers have presented a real threat: he has been known to protect and encourage even officers with blood on their hands. His theatrics eventually earned such ire that he was sidelined in favour of Homan himself.

But none of this suggests respite for Minnesota or for Somali-Americans. Under pressure for links with notorious pedophile and child-trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, a key node in pro-Israel and anti-Muslim networks, and his regime’s refusal to release Epstein’s files without redaction, Trump has continued to lash out at both Somalia and Somali-Americans, and reached for a favourite target in Omar. The Somali government, with the exception of outspoken defence minister Ahmed Fiqi, has been subdued; Omar, though, finally snapped back, “The leader of the Pedophile Protection Party is trying to deflect attention from his name being all over the Epstein files.”

The deeper Trump sinks in the mire, the more he can be expected to attack Somalis as red meat for his supporters. Even more, however, there is no indication that Somali Americans will back down.

 

Related:

– Op-Ed: Bitterness Prolonged – A Short History Of The Somaliland Dispute

– Op-Ed: Understanding The Somaliland Recognition Decision – A Counterargument To The Prevailing Muslim Consensus

 

The post Somalis In Firing Line Of American Crackdown appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

Bowing to pressure from an Israel lobby group reflects moral cowardice.

This series is a collaboration between Dr. Ali and MuslimMatters, bringing Quranic wisdom to the questions Muslim families are navigating.

The Question Every Parent is Asking

Insha Allah, you’ve now watched (or hopefully your teen has now watched) seven nights of content about identity and belonging.

But here’s what you really want to know: Is anything actually changing?

Not “Did they watch the videos?” but “Are they different?”

Let’s be honest about what growth looks like—and what it doesn’t.

What Growth Actually Looks Like (It’s Smaller Than You Think)

Signs your teen is processing this material:

1. They’re asking uncomfortable questions

• “Do you think I should use my full name at school?”
• “Why did you name me [their name]?
• “Have you ever felt like an imposter?”

Growth ≠ having all the answers. Growth = being willing to ask hard questions.

2. They mention the series unprompted

• To a friend
• In passing at dinner
• When something reminds them of an episode

If they’re thinking about it outside of watch time, it’s sinking in.

3. Small behavioral changes

• They correct someone on their name pronunciation
• They pray more openly (even just one more prayer)
• They push back on a friend’s pressure (even once)
• They ask to talk about a parent conflict differently

Don’t look for dramatic transformation. Look for micro-shifts.

4. They’re journaling or reflecting Even if you don’t see it, they might be processing privately. Respect that.
5. They’re still watching Consistency = engagement. If they’re showing up each night, something is resonating.

What’s NOT a Sign of Growth (Stop Expecting These)

1. Perfect adherence to every teaching They’re not going to implement everything from all seven nights. That’s not realistic.
2. Sudden elimination of all struggles Identity crises don’t resolve in one week. Comparison doesn’t disappear overnight.
3. Constant enthusiasm about the series Teens don’t gush about personal growth. They process quietly.
4. No more parent conflicts Week 1 gave them a framework for respectful disagreement. It didn’t eliminate disagreement.
5. Immediate confidence Imposter syndrome doesn’t vanish because they watched one video. But they now have language for what they’re feeling.

Week 1 Recap: What We Covered

Night 1: Who Am I Really? (Surat Al-‘Asr)

• Identity isn’t found in a moment—it’s built through consistent choices
• Four components: Belief based on knowledge, righteous action, encouraging truth, patience

Night 2: Imposter Syndrome (Prophet Musa ﷺ)

• Even prophets felt unqualified
• Allah chose Musa WITH his weakness, not despite it
• Your inadequacy might be where Allah’s blessing shows up

Night 3: When Your Parents Don’t Understand (Surat Luqman)

• Honor parents AND maintain boundaries
• Disobedience is the last resort after exhausting all respectful options
• The 5-step process before considering disagreement

Night 4: Being Muslim in Non-Muslim Spaces (Prophet Yusuf ﷺ)

• Yusuf stayed true to himself even when completely alone
• The cost of compromise is always higher than the cost of integrity
• Better alone with Allah than surrounded by people pulling you to the Fire

Night 5: The Comparison Trap (Surat al-Hujuraat)

• You’re measuring the wrong things (Allah measures by taqwa)
• You don’t actually know who’s “better”—only Allah does
• Stop comparing, start growing

Night 6: Your Name, Your Story

• Your name is a du’a your parents made over you
• On the Day of Judgment, Allah will call you by your name
• Reclaiming your name = reclaiming your story

One thread through all six: Knowing who you are before Allah.

The Integration Question

Here’s what parents often miss:

These seven nights weren’t random topics. They were building blocks.

You can’t have healthy relationships (Week 2) without knowing who you are (Week 1).

You can’t set boundaries with friends if you’re still performing for everyone.

You can’t navigate attraction if you’re measuring yourself by comparison.

You can’t honor your name if you don’t understand your purpose.

Identity comes first. Everything else is built on that foundation.

So, before you move into Week 2 with your teen, ask:

“Which night from this week hit you hardest? Why?”

Don’t lecture. Just listen. Their answer will tell you where the work is happening.

What to Do If Nothing Seems to Be Changing

First: Check your expectations.

Are you looking for dramatic transformation? That’s not how this works.

Are you expecting them to talk about it constantly? Teens process internally.

Are you waiting for perfection? If so, you’ll be disappointed.

Second: Assess the environment.

Are you watching together? Or just telling them to watch alone?

Are you creating space for conversation? Or interrogating them after each episode?

Are you modeling vulnerability? Or just expecting them to be vulnerable?

If you’re not watching with them, start.

If you’re lecturing instead of discussing, stop.

If you’re treating this like homework instead of shared exploration, shift.

Third: Give it time.

Seven nights is not enough to undo years of identity confusion, comparison, and performance anxiety.

But it IS enough to plant seeds.

Trust the process. Keep showing up. Let Ramadan do its work.

Week 2 Preview: Relationships & Boundaries

Tomorrow, insha Allah, Week 2 begins. And it gets harder.

Because now we’re moving from “Who am I?” to “How do I maintain myself in relationships?”

Here’s what’s coming, with Allah’s Mercy:

Night 8: Friendship with Non-Muslims (Is it allowed? What are the boundaries?)

Night 9: When Friends Pull You Away (The Companions of the Cave + how to know when to walk away)

Night 10: Crushes, Attraction & Halal Feelings (The topic nobody talks about but everyone thinks about)

Night 11: Toxic Relationships & When to Walk Away (Recognizing emotional manipulation and spiritual abuse)

Night 12: Loneliness & Finding Your People (When you feel completely alone)

Night 13: Forgiveness When It’s Really, Really Hard (What to do when “just forgive them” feels impossible)

Night 14: Week 2 Recap

These topics are heavier. More personal. More emotional.

Your teen might:

• Shut down
• Get defensive
• Avoid watching
• Watch alone instead of with you

That’s okay. Keep the invitation open. Don’t force it.

Discussion Questions for Families

For Teens:

1. Which night from Week 1 challenged you most? Why?
2. What’s one small thing you did differently this week because of what you learned?
3. As we move into Week 2 (relationships), what topic are you most nervous about?

For Parents:

1. What did you learn about your teen’s struggles that you didn’t know before?
2. How are you creating space for them to process without pressure?
3. Are you watching WITH them, or just telling them to watch?

For Discussion Together:

1. If we could only remember one lesson from Week 1, what should it be?
2. How can we support each other through the harder topics coming in Week 2?
3. What would it look like to have honest conversations about relationships and boundaries?

The Challenge

Before moving into Week 2, do this:

Teens: Pick ONE night from Week 1 that hit you hardest. Watch it again. Let it sink deeper. Journal or seriously reflect on the reflection question.

Parents: Pick ONE night from Week 1 that surprised you most. Watch it. Ask yourself: “What would my teen want me to understand from this?”

Week 1 was about identity. Week 2 is about protecting that identity in relationships.

You can’t do the second without the first.

Continue the Journey

This is Night 7 of Dr. Ali’s 30-part Ramadan series, “30 Nights with the Quran: Stories for the Seeking Soul.”

Tomorrow, insha Allah: Night 8 – Friendship with Non-Muslims (Navigating relationships across faith lines with wisdom and boundaries)

For daily extended reflections with journaling prompts, personal stories, and deeper resources, join Dr. Ali’s email community: https://30nightswithquran.beehiiv.com/

Related:

30 Nights with the Qur’an: A Ramadan Series for Muslim Teens

Why Your Teen Wants to Change Their Muslim Name | Night 6 with the Qur’an

The post Week 1 in Review: Is Your Teen Actually Changing? | Night 7 with the Qur’an appeared first on MuslimMatters.org.

Fasting while working long hours is physically demanding. But gratitude is less abstract when hunger has been felt

• Making sense of it is a column about spirituality and how it can be used to navigate everyday life

Iftar isn’t just eating, it’s synchronisation. Everyone waits. Everyone eats together. It is a rare moment of collective rhythm.

In a world where eating has become solitary and rushed, Ramadan restores something quietly radical: shared time. Iftar is not simply the moment hunger ends but the moment waiting becomes collective. People pause together, watch the same light fade over the horizon, hear the same call to prayer and reach for food at the same time. There is no personalised schedule, no eating on the run. This age-old ritual insists that nourishment is not only physical but spiritual and social, that being fed is being seen.

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Lobbyists ran a hate campaign against a young man who left Gaza for Greece.