Four Lions
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZVfyQyu9RY]
New feature film "Four Lions" debut from Brass Eye's Chris Morris, premieres at the Sundance film festival on Saturday.
In this exclusive clip, we see how not to buy a dozen bottles of bomb-making bleach.
(Read about @ The Register)
ISLAM4UK Changes Name To Brian Thompson
Police will begin arresting Brian Thompsons
like this one later today
THE government has banned the extremist group Islam4Uk, forcing it to change its name to Brian Thompson.
Following a high-level inquiry by the Daily Mail, home secretary Alan Johnson said he had proscribed the organisation under a series of names it goes by including Al Muhajiroun, Beard Force and Anjem and the Hurricanes.
Mr Johnson said: "We can only keep Britain safe from terror by continually restricting the number of names these organisations have access to.
"By forcing them to be constantly ordering new stationery and car stickers we can ensure they have no time to say those horrid things that make the editor of the Daily Mail phone me from the tinfoil-lined, underground capsule beneath his garden shed at three o'clock in the morning."
He added: "Eventually they will be reduced to using an ever-changing sequence of numbers and not even the angriest young muslim man is going to want to join an organisation that doesn't have any words in its name."
Terror experts have backed the home secretary insisting the IRA was a legal organisation for much of the 1970s allowing it to not only carry out violent attacks but set up a chain of discount carpet warehouses and a frozen food delivery business.
A spokesman for Brian Thompson said: "We expect Brian Thompson to be banned within hours, so we have prepared a series of names to last us until at least mid-March including Phil Jackson, Barbara Evans and Big Jim Barker's Dixieland Jazz Quartet.
"Anyway, who's up for having loads of crazy opinions about stuff?"
From The Daily Mash
Number puzzle
I have found an amazing website!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[URL=http://www.ravenousbugblatterbeast.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/NumberPuzz…]
Fresh Prince of Kashmir
I got texted this the other day and probably could fit into this forum topic too, but I will keep it separate.
Fresh Prince of Kashmir
In Jhelum born & Raised,
in the mud is where I spent most of my days.
Chillin out, relaxing & Eating some roti,
chatn to the kuris while drinking some lassi.
When a couple of Gunda's who were no good,
started some "Dhusham!Dhusham!" in my neighbourhood.
They made a right old mess @ my pops got scared
"You're moving to your masi's in Mirpur instead!"
So I whistled for a Rickshaw, it came the next day,
Told him where to go & I weren't going to pay.
I knew I smelt sumthing, it was the oil in his hair,
it anything, but I thought "Bale! Bale! Bale!"
The *all new* jokes topic
I am sure we had one (or more) before...
There is only one rule: make them funny.
Ok, first one:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
The Tummy Beast
This is what I often think about when I'm hungry. 🙂
The Tummy Beast
Roald Dahl
One afternoon I said to mummy,
"Who is this person in my tummy?
"He must be small and very thin
"Or how could he have gotten in?"
My mother said from where she sat,
"It isn't nice to talk like that."
"It's true!" I cried. "I swear it, mummy!
"There is a person in my tummy!
"He talks to me at night in bed,
"He's always asking to be fed,
"Throughout the day, he screams at me,
"Demanding sugar buns for tea.
"He tells me it is not a sin
"To go and raid the biscuit tin.
"I know quite well it's awfully wrong
"To guzzle food the whole day long,
"But really I can't help it, mummy,
"Not with this person in my tummy."
"You horrid child!" my mother cried.
Be Yourself
"Don't worry about what they think or say. Just be yourself!"
When you read the above, what does it make you think about?
If someone said it to you, how would you feel?
But how much of our 'self', is actually ours?
How many hours of the day are you the 'self' which pleases your boss, colleagues or classmates?
What about our friends?
Do you always feel you can say what you really think to your parents?
How often can you just sit back and 'be yourself'?
Smooth Muslim
errm yeah, u might or might not find this funny...
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7pW0-2a8b4]