The *all new* jokes topic
I am sure we had one (or more) before...
There is only one rule: make them funny.
Ok, first one:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
Credit Crunch Humour
You know it's a credit crunch when...
* The cashpoint asks if you can spare any change.
* There's a 'buy one, get one free' offer - on banks.
* The Inland Revenue is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers.
* Gordon Brown has stopped chewing his nails and started sucking his thumb.
* Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than sterling.
* Highgrove has been repossessed.
* Victoria Beckham is pictured shopping in Primark.
* Alistair Darling's eyebrows have turned white.
* What's the capital of Iceland? - About £3.50
* How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.
* Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning? Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
islamic jokes
some of jokes from a site called islamcan.com
enjoy 😃
Here is the story of an Imam who got up after Friday prayers and announced to the people:
"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
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Jokes!
I think this place needs a place where you can just laugh and amuse yourself (no offence, but this place is like a graveyard at times).
Jokes!
Asalaam Walikum ppl
I’ve noticed (as many of you probably have) that its kinda dead lately on this forum so just to spice things up and add a bit of humour feel free to add your jokes. I’m pretty sure there nothing in Islam forbidding jokes (if there is i apologise and admin feel free to delete this thread. Last thing keep it clean please.
Walikum salaam
husband and wife go to see a councellor.
The counsellor says to the husband "what is you wife’s favourite flower?"
the husband replies "elephant atta!"
An Asian man gets caught stealing a packet of sugar while buying a bottle of ribena from kwik save. In court he claims “not guilty because on the back of the drink it says sugar free!”
Here is the story of an Imam who got up after Friday prayers and announced to the people:
"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.