The Revival

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Death

MuslimSister —

Salaam

My Nan passed away last week-we were very close. This has been a difficult time for us all.

The Holy Prophet ﷺ said “people are asleep; when they die they wake up”. IMO the same can be said about those who experience the death of a loved one….I swear, nothing has opened my eyes and made me critically look at my life more than this experience.

Death isn’t a topic I liked to talk or read about….I’d switch off when such a topic was raised, I didn’t like to acknowledge it, so the unexpected death of my Nan hit me hard.

If we remembered death more often we wouldn’t postpone our love or sideline those who are close to us, we would MAKE time for them, despite how busy we may be….. It is said ‘The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone’.

I don't think any type of regret or pain can top this...

Undoubtedly, one does not realize what they have until it is gone.

I learnt that we worry and focus WAY too much on mundane, insignificant issues whilst failing to look at the bigger picture….

Now, suddenly the subject that I was happily ignorant in is something that I REALLY want to know more about….I’ve already ordered Imam Ghazzali’s 'Remembrance of Death'

I’d like to know, what you guys believe in, regarding the hereafter…sometimes, culture/hearsay can delude the facts.

What is said regarding accountability in Ramadan/Friday’s? Can the soul return to Earth to visit loved ones?

Can they hear us by their graveside? Do they really know, 40 days before their deaths that end is near?

What causes them grief and what makes them happy? Can they really visit their other deceased relatives in the hereafter? Why do people say, that crying at their funeral will “hurt” them? What does their appearance at their funeral say about their state? Why MUST the body be buried ASAP?

I’ll inshallah, look into this in more detail…I was just interested in hearing your views.

Wasalaam

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77 comments

#61

*Sponi* Mon, 30 Oct 2006 - 14:44

It's nice to see the forum is making you feel welcome Sis... 😉

#62

MuslimSister Mon, 30 Oct 2006 - 15:59

*Sponi*It's nice to see the forum is making you feel welcome Sis... :wink:

Lol. They're a nice bunch...however, I have been here for about two years now...

#63

TEX Mon, 30 Oct 2006 - 16:07

MuslimSister

Lol. They're a nice bunch.....

aw thank you 😃

#64

Snoopz Mon, 30 Oct 2006 - 17:38

ahem tex i dont think she meant you!! 😛

#67

MuslimSisLilSis Tue, 31 Oct 2006 - 19:18

tragedy brings people closer together

ppl who annoyed u before suddenly become dear to u-cos u cant stand the thought of maybe losing them too

only heartless monsters dont learn nothing from the lesson of death

#68

shahid1 Thu, 2 Nov 2006 - 10:00

shahid1 I'm not perfect, i commit many sins that i know i shouldn't but ever since my gran passed away, i became paranoid that my gran could see what i was doing and upon seeing my actions, her soul would be in anguish and i could bear to cause any pain to my gran. At times i do stray and commit sins that i know my nan would hate to see me do so i really want a clear answer to if the deceased know whats happening to those who they have left.

My mate at uni read this post and she said something quite deep to me that made me think over my actions and way of thinking.

She goes that there's no clear proof that the deceased can see your actions yet there is no doubt what so ever that Allah watches over absolutely everything you do yet that does not stop us from commiting sins.

It is only the thought of loved ones watching you that makes us think about our actions and deeds.. So what we need to do is develop such extreme love for Allah and from there on commiting sins and bad deeds would be so much harder than it is now.

#69

WaddyHussain Thu, 2 Nov 2006 - 11:36

I like the way your thinking Shahid1. People always tend to put an emphasis on fearing Allah swt (Im not saying you shouldn't, you should fear Allah swt) yet IMO they should be emphasising that we should develop our LOVE for our Creator, and view Death as a good thing because it takes you closer to the One that you Love.

#70

shahid1 Thu, 2 Nov 2006 - 16:33

lolz-my names jus shahid.. Not shahid1 😃

But yeah you're right - I think Love is much more important than Fear.

I'd rather be commiting good deeds due to the high level of love i have for Allah rather than because i'm fearful of what my punishment would be if i didnt. Having said that, we should fear Allah and the hereafter esp living in this day and age where there is much fitnah leading us astray.

One thing I've noticed though is that love isn't enough on its own. An ideal axample would be parent-child relationship. If a child is commiting sins behind their parents back, you can not sat that the child does not love his/her parents, yet if they were fearful of what their parents may do if their sins get discovered they may reconsider their actions.. So basically, Fear and Love go hand in hand.

#71

Snoopz Thu, 2 Nov 2006 - 19:30

Reminds me of this saying.. 🙂

"The heart in its journey towards Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, is like a bird whose head is love, and hope and fear are its two wings. When the head and the two wings are sound and healthy the flight of the bird is good, but when the head is cut off, it immediately dies, and when either or both wings are deficient, the bird cannot properly fly and may become victim of any hunter or snare. The righteous predecessors preferred to strengthen the wing of fear during good times when heedlessness is feared, and to strengthen the wing of hope at times of calamity and when near death.

Some have said that it is better to strengthen fear more than hope because when vain hopes overcome a person he is ruined. Others say that the best of situations is a complete balance of hope and fear with overwhelming love, for love is composite, while hope is a sharpener and fear a driver."

Imam Ibn ul Qayyim al Jawziyyah

#72

MuslimSisLilSis Fri, 3 Nov 2006 - 19:26

intresting discussion

and regarding not doing good deeds to hurt deceased loved ones

since the deceased benfits from the prayers and good deeds of their pious offspring how can we not believe that what we do or dont do has nothing to do with them?

#73

Kadijah Fri, 3 Nov 2006 - 21:56

MuslimSisLilSisintresting discussion

and regarding not doing good deeds to hurt deceased loved ones

since the deceased benfits from the prayers and good deeds of their pious offspring how can we not believe that what we do or dont do has nothing to do with them?

excatly

#74

shahid1 Wed, 8 Nov 2006 - 09:50

Kadijah

MuslimSisLilSisintresting discussion

and regarding not doing good deeds to hurt deceased loved ones

since the deceased benfits from the prayers and good deeds of their pious offspring how can we not believe that what we do or dont do has nothing to do with them?

excatly

When did i say good deeds wont benefit loved ones?

All i was trying to say was that if a child of a deceased parent is bad then why should the parent suffer for his/her sins. Especially if the parent did all they could do to teach their kid of whats right and wrong.

#75

laila Wed, 8 Nov 2006 - 12:01

MuslimSisterThank you for your kind comments guys…I’m just SO grateful that I have a platform where I can view my thoughts.

And Omrow - you underestimate me. As Snoopz rightly pointed out, life does go on, however ones perception of the world changes forever.

this is true our perception can be changed forever

before my fathers death i never thought of death since his death 8 years ago i've thought of it alot and tried to live life accordingly - but still messing up majorily

so in a way although our outlook can change dramatically maybe our natures remain the same

to feel the reality of death our own deaths especially with certainty does leave one shaken up whenever it happens, rarely does it give me comfort - i hear some of my friends speak of death their own inevitable death so lightly they seem unafraid - i wish i could attain their level of peace.

my brother said to me what would you do if you woke up in a room with no doors i said i'd panic - youre not ready for death then he said, how can this be i thought and then i realised of course i'm not ready thats why i'm afraid

may Allah save us all from the punishment of the grave - there's no other fear like it not even Hell

#77

TPOS Sun, 18 Jul 2010 - 01:55

I've heard you shouldn't bad mouth the dead cuz it hurts their soul [and well badmouthing people is wrong anyway] but according to this hadith thats not true:
"Do not insult his father. Insulting the dead causes grief to the living and does not reach the dead."

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