"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

thats a load of bull

someone we know is almost 40

but still aint ready to accept any Tom, Dick and harry who wishes to marry her

its only the most important descsion a perosn makes in their life

I rather be single for the rest of my life then marry a dog who make my life hell

Spot on!!!

Yes and i agree with lilsis just cuz your married does not mean you cant do the things you did before marriage, yes your likely to have more responsibilities but thats how life works...its all about commitment and how far an individual is willing to work to achieve his/her goals.

I personally dont think after marriage i can just sit in the house doin nothin, i would go insane!

or sell by date is women are willing to accept the lower standard of men because the optimum standard are few in number or non existant.

Don't even start with the sexist jokes

women may accept a lower standard of men, because by a certin age most of the decent ones a re married off.

though i do agreee 25 is a good age. im 23, just finished education and dont mind settling down in a couple of years time. it is a personal choice. and if someone chooses to marry when they are older or younger and have found someone decent, then why not?

"yashmaki" wrote:

or sell by date is women are willing to accept the lower standard of men because the optimum standard are few in number or non existant.

lol i like!

"angel" wrote:

Yes and i agree with lilsis just cuz your married does not mean you cant do the things you did before marriage, yes your likely to have more responsibilities but thats how life works...its all about commitment and how far an individual is willing to work to achieve his/her goals.

I personally dont think after marriage i can just sit in the house doin nothin, i would go insane!

I totally agree.

Marraige shoudnt really change your life in any major way. Which is why it makes sense to marry someone with the same outlook on life as you.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

"angel" wrote:

Yes and i agree with lilsis just cuz your married does not mean you cant do the things you did before marriage, yes your likely to have more responsibilities but thats how life works...its all about commitment and how far an individual is willing to work to achieve his/her goals.

I personally dont think after marriage i can just sit in the house doin nothin, i would go insane!

I totally agree.

Marraige shoudnt really change your life in any major way. Which is why it makes sense to marry someone with the same outlook on life as you.

don't know about everyone else, but within our very small community/family where the person you marry has to be from the very small list of your cousins

there's not really much chance of knowing whether this person has the same outlook on life as you (due to the 5 minute converstaion you get to have with them before you decide whether its a no or a yes)

my uncle married his Masi's (mum's sister) daughter, they lasted a couple of months before she finally snapped and declared she wanted a divorce (not good)

obviously her family said divorce was a big no no but she argued saying that his views restricted her from doing certain things such as:

now that she was married, he didn't want her to meet up with her friends, start dressing more covered, and give up her job (which she had to study at degree level to get)

so i think judging from what i've seen, no disrespect bro's but you can be pretty harsh when it comes to women wanting both marriage and a career

(by the way, it did end up in divorce)

"Omrow" wrote:

Salam

A girl should marry well before her sell by date expires.

She should keep it in mind that this is one of the first thing which most men look at when making a decision whether or not to bring her home.

If you keep a man waiting, while you finish your "thing", then there is a risk that he may come across another girl who will sweep the bachelor off his feet. And so you may be left in the wind, chasing idiots that are practically useless for you.

Marriage is no joke. Its a life decision.

Omrow

That 'thing' would be education which most women nowadays want to pursue further. If a bloke only goes on age and looks then he aint worth the bother. Nothing wrong with waiting a while for the right guy to come along. Because if we didn't and we went head in first we wud end up with someone like YOU. Then we wud really be f***ed!

Its always the women that have to give up almost everything when they get married, you dont c a guy giv'in up anything. A girl i knew in college got married to a relative in holland. Her husband is refusing to move to Britain so she has to move over there leaving all her family, friends and job behind. She wasn't happy about it but hey what could she do, wot the husband says goes (yeah right ). Her family went over to help her settle in. she can always come an visit her family in Britain but she cant see them as often as she likes. Im sure this is not the case in every marriage but it does happen.

salaam
i dont think (Alhamdulilllah) my family would mind who i married aslong as he was muslim religious and obviously educated. ma sister married out of the family, Alhamdulilallah we dont belive in marrying the same cast or within the family. yeh she had many proposals from cousins etc she always rejected lol personally am glad she did. and i prob do the same.

as far as education is concerned i feel i girl needs to be educated as we(as in ne 1 and every1) dont know wat our future holds, we dont know wats around the corner for us before and after we get married, and ALLAH(SWT) has given us akal and has sed use it so as far as me and my parents go a girl needs to be educated incase God forbid she does get divorced or has to sepearte of even is married but has to live away from her husband for sum reason atleast she can support and look after herself.

i agree with you. my parents have tried to educate me and my sisters more than our brother, because their reasoning is that the girls will move away from home and have to fend for themselves. if anything goes wrong they want us to be able to look after our selves. in a worst case scenario.

anyway there is no one suitable in the family to marry us off to, all too young, therefore its accepted that we marry out of the family.

"Saadia Khan" wrote:

salaam
i dont think (Alhamdulilllah) my family would mind who i married aslong as he was muslim religious and obviously educated. ma sister married out of the family, Alhamdulilallah we dont belive in marrying the same cast or within the family. yeh she had many proposals from cousins etc she always rejected lol personally am glad she did. and i prob do the same.

as far as education is concerned i feel i girl needs to be educated as we(as in ne 1 and every1) dont know wat our future holds, we dont know wats around the corner for us before and after we get married, and ALLAH(SWT) has given us akal and has sed use it so as far as me and my parents go a girl needs to be educated incase God forbid she does get divorced or has to sepearte of even is married but has to live away from her husband for sum reason atleast she can support and look after herself.

i never looked at it like that-

good point-

its wrong to be too dependent on a guy

I best start getting more career minded :?

"Naz" wrote:

That 'thing' would be education which most women nowadays want to pursue further. If a bloke only goes on age and looks then he aint worth the bother. Nothing wrong with waiting a while for the right guy to come along. Because if we didn't and we went head in first we wud end up with someone like YOU. Then we wud really be f***ed!

LOL

I missed that

i think this is the first time in this forum that i TOTALLY agree with u

you go Girl

salaam

a girl should be independant ita a dog eat dog world

and if we let our husbands get too cosy they dont do ne thing become lazy couch potaotes expect women to o eveything includin playin the bills

"Saadia Khan" wrote:

salaam

a girl should be independant ita a dog eat dog world

and if we let our husbands get too cosy they dont do ne thing become lazy couch potaotes expect women to o eveything includin playin the bills

totally agree wiv ur

notice no guy is saying anything......

dare i, the bold Darth, say anything.......

you whuss be quiet!

ey ey.....i dont wana say anythin

you lot are like the lynchmob, n i value my life

Prince would you mind changin your avatar, I saw it was like, wha? I never posted ohhh..hot diggity...(no is always an option.)

:?

No wife beating comments omrow? perhaps you've got your eyes set on a miss Right ey??? (don't marry her..her fist name is 'always'! boom boom tsh!)

"MuSlImAh786" wrote:

Alas im still waiting PATIENTLY for someone to tell me about de dua and method of reading istikhara namaz?...so inshallah if ur aware then do enlighten this soul...

its been copy pasted a few times on tis forum

search u shuld find it

Salam

"Saadia Khan" wrote:

a girl should be independant ita a dog eat dog world

Khan. Do that and you suffer. Its that simple.

Look around.

Omrow

"MuSlImAh786" wrote:

Does studying and marriage become a little more difficult once u have gone abroad and go tmarried...please feel free to air ur views.

:

a person dont change after marraige-so why should their life change?

I dont know about moving abroad..it depends on the opportunities that are available there

and if ur talking about marrying abroad-this all depends on the kind of guy u get married too

"MuSlImAh786" wrote:

Alas im still waiting PATIENTLY for someone to tell me about de dua and method of reading istikhara namaz?...so inshallah if ur aware then do enlighten this soul...

http://www.islamicacademy.org/html/Dua/How_to_do_Istakhara.htm

dunno bout the site, but their info on istikhara seems about right.

whoa. sorry guys but i've GOT to introduce a difference of opinion here...

plz can we address this topic with a clear head? no offence but i think there is a bit of feminazi rubbish being thrown around here... most of it probably in reply to omrows views - so can some level-headed bros plz address the issue also.

having grown up in britain, its easy for us girls to be taken in by the whole 'my career, my life, etc' viewpoint, but wen u get married its no longer just about u. and besides, these views are not necessarily islamic - when it comes to marriage we have to put such things aside and think: what does islam ask of me? (ofcourse its not so easy to accept this if u marry a guy who isnt understanding).

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

someone we know is almost 40

but still aint ready to accept any Tom, Dick and harry who wishes to marry her

no offence, but i cant help but say: maybe thats y she's 40 and unmarried?

theres no such thing as a Mr./Ms Right because none of us are perfect. its just about accepting the good in a person and overlooking their bad points. yes, ur hubby/wife should be compatible, but extreme fussiness doesnt get a person anywhere. (neither extremes are any good) :?

"Aasiyah" wrote:

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

someone we know is almost 40

but still aint ready to accept any Tom, Dick and harry who wishes to marry her

no offence, but i cant help but say: maybe thats y she's 40 and unmarried?

i dont know about the guys she's rejected-

so I don't know if she's single cos she's fussy or if she's single cos only idiots have wanted to marry her

if its the latter-then she's better off the way she is

i hope im not going off the topic, but the prophet's (SAW) wife Khadija was educated/ working. He worked for her right?

therefore it is not bad for a woman to be independent in some sense, although family responsibilities come into play once married.

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

[
i think this is the first time in this forum that i TOTALLY agree with u

are you an arrogant little girl? DONT see you agreeing hardly.where one should

"fizzy1" wrote:

i hope im not going off the topic, but the prophet's (SAW) wife Khadija was educated/ working. He worked for her right?

She inherited the trading business of her dead husband. I don't think the arabs were educated back then in the way we'd think of it.

"MuSlImAh786" wrote:

"end up getting married from back home then upon your return u may find [b]that u need to sacrifice ur studying and find a f/time job in order to get applying 4 ur hubbys visa"...[/b]
So my question in this predicament is...
wud you put off marriage until you have completed your education or would you go ahead get married and later compromise???.... :?: :?: :?:

if i liked someone-I'd just marry him

even if I hadnt finished my education

but I'd only ever marry someone who wouldnt be backwards/cultural or would stop me from doing anything I wanted to do