Marriage expectations

So..what would "high expectations" be for you?

and...we were talking about difference between Criterias and Expectations. So what do you guys think the difference is?

where is the line drawn?

[size=9] dont hate on me for creating a new topic..i just thought it'd be better than posting on an old topic and making it into this LOoooonnng topic that next generation revivalers wont be bothered to read (as i have experienced myself :P) [/size]

But martial arts expert Xiao Lin and her sister Yin say they will not tie the knot until their suitors beat them in kung fu combat.

from

Well that I-m so happy is a criteria; they must tick the "stronger than me" box.
Expectation from that may be that the husband do any hard labour, DIY and stuff. Fight off any potential dangers etc

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

I think some people really do have too high unrealistic expectations. Like they want some really gorgeous girl or guy when they're not really all that themselves. Such people are soo superficial.

I think its definately unrealist for some people to expect marriage life to be all chilling. Like nothings changed since getting married. Obv things have changed so imo behaviour should change along with it.

Back in BLACK

Seraphim wrote:
I think some people really do have too high unrealistic expectations. Like they want some really gorgeous girl or guy when they're not really all that themselves. Such people are soo superficial.

I think its definately unrealist for some people to expect marriage life to be all chilling. Like nothings changed since getting married. Obv things have changed so imo behaviour should change along with it.

I agree with you there mate! I was like that also lol...until I got married and realized its not all as lovely and easy as it may seem in the begining.

I think adaptation, compromise and being positive are the main factors when it comes to living with a spouse, or so I have learnt!Sometimes the toothpaste cap is left off...which aggrevated me so much in the begining we would only argue about that the whole time, but then I adapted ...slowly and he changed also (puts the cap on now lol),this is just a simple small silly example of a stupid thing people can argue about...but like I said with adaptation you live peacefuly and its much better. You learn as you go along, we dont expect unmarried men/women to know these things because it happens when you start living with your spouse.

I think high expectations would be..ummmmmm..............when you need and want things your way and expect the other half to naturally accept that...thats not how married life rolls (well , for most anyway)...thats just 1 example...

Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.

Some people write their criteria. I found online.

It has the usual stuff which many people would like, eg. considerate, modest, hugs, smiles, ect. But then there are some stuff which are very specific, eg. naps occasionally, apple eater, lights camp fires.

MuslimBro wrote:
Some people write their criteria. I found online.

It has the usual stuff which many people would like, eg. considerate, modest, hugs, smiles, ect. But then there are some stuff which are very specific, eg. naps occasionally, apple eater, lights camp fires.


lol trust you to find something like that

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:
MuslimBro wrote:
Some people write their criteria. I found online.

It has the usual stuff which many people would like, eg. considerate, modest, hugs, smiles, ect. But then there are some stuff which are very specific, eg. naps occasionally, apple eater, lights camp fires.


lol trust you to find something like that

indeed.

the handwriting is SO hard to read...

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

MuslimBro wrote:
Some people write their criteria. I found online.

It has the usual stuff which many people would like, eg. considerate, modest, hugs, smiles, ect. But then there are some stuff which are very specific, eg. naps occasionally, apple eater, lights camp fires.

Lol

 

Lilly wrote:
the handwriting is SO hard to read...

Its not that hard. I've seen worse...esp doctors hand-writing.

If you thought the girl above (from the link) had high expectations. Take a look at this one-

Here is my list of the perfect boyfriend:

1. Shares all email and IM passwords

2. Has none, or only one, female friend

3. Tell's me when his only female friend calls

4. Tell's me when he goes basically anywhere

5. Family time doesn't interfere with our time too much

6. Doesn't want to/will not go out with friends w/o me

7. Doesn't want to/will not travel out of state w/o me to see friends

8. Rarely goes online to IM people, and tells me when he does. And doesn't email any females

9. Does not want to, and never looks at, other females

10. Call and texts a few times every hour or two

11. Never meets other women except when absolutely necessary (i.e. work)

What a bunch of freaks. Were all these women insecurre 16 year olds?

Someone who is sweet to me
and takes care of me

tis all

1R4M wrote:
Someone who is sweet to me
and takes care of me

tis all


I find that hard to believe. You must have more.

Not really

as long as he's not butt ugly
but Im not after a hunk either

and someone I can talk to and have a laugh with

there!
im done

- truly like my lil bro and be a good role model for him. (more like a wish and less like an expectation, cant make someone like someone else...)

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

MuslimBro wrote:

Here is my list of the perfect boyfriend:

2. Has none, or only one, female friend

According to what i've seen, this is so totally not a good idea, his having one female friend is worse than him having loads! With loads he isn't focused on one (other) girl instead, he's just being decent to everyone thus the girlfriend won't worry as much (unless she's crazy and thinks the guy is 'with' every Betty, Veronica and Cheryl [The Archie Comics]).

He also isn't likely to share (private-ish) sort of stuff with everyone but will with the one girl - who's prob his best friend and again, the girlfriend will get a little green-eyed and will then accuse him of liking that girl who'll be their argument-focus-point for the rest of their lives (or however long they last).

Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)

Truth's_Razors wrote:
...and will then accuse him of liking that girl .....

and she's most probably right...

please..no girlfriend...

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Seraphim wrote:
I think some people really do have too high unrealistic expectations. Like they want some really gorgeous girl or guy when they're not really all that themselves. Such people are soo superficial.

I think its definately unrealist for some people to expect marriage life to be all chilling. Like nothings changed since getting married. Obv things have changed so imo behaviour should change along with it.

(:lol: at the bold ,) I agree with you there...
...
People can't say it's all about personality. Because it isn't. Well, I'm sure it isn't. Not to be shallow, but you wouldn't want to marry someone who's like really....not good-looking, right>?
...
Anyways, you're right. You have to adapt, maybe compromise. Like 'He's' always got music on blast, and the house is always a right mess.(CRINGE!)
Now, (not to be a killjoy), but I really really loathe music (exception of Sami Yusaf and Maher Zain, of course :)); so he's stopped listening to music, and he makes sure that he doesn't make a mess (lol, I sound like his mother, not wife; I've realised now...)
And, I've never even touched meat before and just makes me sick looking at meat. But, he's a meat-eater, so I do have to cook meat every now and then.

That way we get along and Bob's your uncle!

Love is a serious mental disease.

MuslimBro wrote:
Lilly wrote:
the handwriting is SO hard to read...

Its not that hard. I've seen worse...esp doctors hand-writing.

If you thought the girl above (from the link) had high expectations. Take a look at this one-

Here is my list of the perfect boyfriend:

1. Shares all email and IM passwords

2. Has none, or only one, female friend

3. Tell's me when his only female friend calls

4. Tell's me when he goes basically anywhere

5. Family time doesn't interfere with our time too much

6. Doesn't want to/will not go out with friends w/o me

7. Doesn't want to/will not travel out of state w/o me to see friends

8. Rarely goes online to IM people, and tells me when he does. And doesn't email any females

9. Does not want to, and never looks at, other females

10. Call and texts a few times every hour or two

11. Never meets other women except when absolutely necessary (i.e. work)

Lol, what a control-freak.
Bless, she's probably scared of losing him.....
(Contradicting myself, I know...)

I like number 10, though...:)

Love is a serious mental disease.

Ocean wrote:
I'd be happy with a Personal Assistant rather than a husband.

Smile

Love is a serious mental disease.

MuslimBro wrote:
Another one

Quite absurd woman...
Why would she want him to have glasses/tattoo>????

Love is a serious mental disease.

1R4M wrote:
Not really

as long as he's not butt ugly
but Im not after a hunk either

and someone I can talk to and have a laugh with

there!
im done

Now, that's sensible and realistic...

Love is a serious mental disease.

Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:

I like number 10, though...:)

Me too! (Text rather than call though - well sometimes anyway)

Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)

Truth's_Razors wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:

I like number 10, though...:)

Me too! (Text rather than call though - well sometimes anyway)

lol,why text?

Love is a serious mental disease.

Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
Truth's_Razors wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:

I like number 10, though...:)

Me too! (Text rather than call though - well sometimes anyway)

lol,why text?

Well text is good when you can't talk - say you're busy or something (work or people are around or you've got a quick second to spare) nice way of saying 'hi i'm thinking about you' or (you guys fill in the blanks!). Plus you get to keep them for later reference! LOL

Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)

Truth's_Razors wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
Truth's_Razors wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:

I like number 10, though...:)

Me too! (Text rather than call though - well sometimes anyway)

lol,why text?

Well text is good when you can't talk - say you're busy or something (work or people are around or you've got a quick second to spare) nice way of saying 'hi i'm thinking about you' or (you guys fill in the blanks!). Plus you get to keep them for later reference! LOL

Yeah, that's true.Later reference...
Though, sometimes text can be read in different ways and mean different things.
(But maybe that's just me...)

Love is a serious mental disease.

TEXTT FTWWW!!!!!

i'd just get all fidgety and mumbly if someone was to say anything soppy to me on the phone/face to face.

text on the other hand...who can see you smiling at your screen?

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Lilly wrote:

text on the other hand...who can see you smiling at your screen?

Lol, that's true. Biggrin Especially when you've got this big stupid grin on your face!

Love is a serious mental disease.

Lilly wrote:
TEXTT FTWWW!!!!!

ftw?

Lol at the smiling at the screen thing - msn would work too!

Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)

For The Win

i can just see myself sitting across my husband with a laptop on my lap...and who am i talking to on msn? (well it most probably will be revival)

Wink

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Lilly wrote:
For The Win

i can just see myself sitting across my husband with a laptop on my lap...and who am i talking to on msn? (well it most probably will be revival)

Wink

LOL! Until we're all old and wrinkly eh Biggrin

Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)

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