'To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First'

While I was sitting here wondering who on earth actually sits and listens to 'Woman's Hour' on radio 4...I came across this:

Parents are too child-centric says family coach

Parenting manuals usually tell us to make time for our children. Now a new book claims all this attention does them more harm than good. The author argues that we have become too child-centric and that it is time to focus on the adults for a change. He believes it is a myth that the more attention we give our children, the better they turn out. So, is this what parents need to hear or does it add yet another burden onto women? To discuss the issues Jane is joined by David Code author of 'To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First' and Daisy Goodwin, a parent and author of an anthology of parenting books.

I agree, that nowadays there is too much protection over children - which has its disadvantages.

But...what are your thoughts on putting marriage before your kids?

I would suspect that children are not (always) morons and will be able to tell how wholesome the overall atmosphere is, so a happy home would be a good place to be brought up in - and a happy home will not be one where the parents are at each others throats all the time.

So yes, I agree with the idea.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

assalamu alaikum,

i listen to womans hour on radio 4, it actually has some interesting topics.

i dont agree that children get too much attention today. i think there is a lot of lazy parenting, because there are too many demands in modern lifestyle, or ppl simply want more luxuries so kids end up coming second. The mother is trying to be a supermum, be full time worker, and mother and wife. The husband has to bring home the bread and some for modern day luxuries . kids are all too often left to entertain themselves with video games, tvs, internet, morning brekkie club, and afterschool clubs because parents need to start and finish work ontime. kids as young as 5 have tvs in their bedrooms, is this quality time?

I think its about striking a balance yes a healthy marriage will lead to strong family unit and hopefully happy kids. But that does not mean marriage should be put first to detriment of children. Being a parent is part of being married they go hand in hand one should not dominate over the other. i dont agree with the idea.

“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]

Back in the day, especially back in the subcontinent, the kids were also left to their ownd evices as the women had to work hard at home and at other times even in the field when it came to cut crops.

I think it is natural for a mother to feel guilty here and it is also possible for kids to be smothered.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

You wrote:
Back in the day, especially back in the subcontinent, the kids were also left to their ownd evices as the women had to work hard at home and at other times even in the field when it came to cut crops.

I think it is natural for a mother to feel guilty here and it is also possible for kids to be smothered.

hmmmmm

thats a good point

They also used to give them opium to put them to sleep... with some never waking up.

Surprising what you hear and how they play it as how innocent and pure things used to be.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.