no1 answered my qsn. Do chawdhry's give their daughters to ghayr chawdhrys?

chawdhry, raja, and syed family tend to be very reluctant to give daughters outside their caste. They are thought of as cream of crop and castes like us qurayshi tailors are viewed as kameen - working class.

yes. Qurayshi are a caste, we descended from Ahle Quraysh but we're not Sayyid. Thing is the chawdhrys are land owner and so are the raja ppl. The Sayyids kinda get a monopoly on religion in the village so every other caste takes a trade. Our caste took the darzi/tailor trade but my Mom who is Mughal is also a darzi and my other relatives are Janjua Rajput and they also darzi so its kinda confusing.

But yeh, Im qurayshi.

lady chawdhryis are called chawdhryani. sounds nice

"Admin" wrote:

A person from one clan can marry one from another clan. Does not matter which clan.

Sayyids can marry non sayyids. Thereis a disease in culture where they say sayyids cannot marry a non-sayyids. And other cans occasionally do the same thing.

The historical reason was probably (e.g.) cloth workers are not good at land work. land workers are not good at crafts etc. In the past each clan had their speciality. If you maried someone from another clan, one of you would have to relearn their trade...

yes true about marrying from one clan into another.

but ur explanation for historical reasons abt inter clan marriage is a bit of a flight of fancy bro. cloth workers cant do land work? Lol well my relatives back home now have land and they can pretty much manage that!

No the issue was that Chawrdhy/Raja clans are land-OWNERS, they were kinda like the landowners or barons of medieval times yeh. And the people from lower clans were the serfs who worked the land, astaghfirullah even now in parts of sindh the sai controls his people asthough they are slaves, they are forbidden from stepping out of a certain boundary etc. The reason I think is because obviously ppl like to marry their kids into their family, particulalry as they worry about the girls going into a strange family, they worry about her future. I also actually prefer cousin marriage cos then there is more compatibilty etc. Basically it makes sense if two marriagable ppl exist in one family then what is the need to go outside, that was the old logic.

Even now by us the best marriage is considered to be between first cousins whose fathers are brothers because this way the girl is not leaving her home at all, she is still in her paternal grandfathers home and also the kids born are purely from that household. Basically in our mp culture they dont like it to have a girl outside, my mom and dadi are from outside and b4 they were not liked but now thinsg are changing, well atleast in uk.

yeh that happens a lot about the blame game. Even if the parents are first cousins and the child wants to get married on mothers side then the fathers side say the mother is taking the boy to her end of our family, and if boy says wants to marry on fathers side then the mothers family say that they are taking our nephew all the way into their side. this is when parents are FIRST COUSINS, so if one parent is from outside then its WWIII lol.

!

unfortunately such things are common. May ALLAH make the situation better. But if you look from your grandmothers view she wants to see her granddaughter and grandson marry and be happy. What would she say if one of her granddaughters married a non-chawdhry?

"Darth V-Hayder" wrote:

i aint against cousin marriages

but scientific research has showed marrying 1st cousins can lead to defections or disability in the children.

increased possibility

but Allah knows best

brother my friend is a medic and he says all that is a load of cobblers. When it is explained in schools it is over simplified and not actually true, he says the increase in possible problems is soo small as to be not worth considering and this is a medic who just got married to his cousin in pak lol so I think he knows what he is on abt.

Plus my very first Ustadji once said in Ramadan that ALLAH declares to Holy Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam all his cousin sisters as halal and pure for Him salallahu alayhi wasallam. and UStadji goes that ALLAH declares it pure and it is impossible for it to be impure. Ustadji went off and said that these ppl dont even wash themselves with water, they dont know what ghusl is and they lecture us about purity! He goes the diseases that are born are because of their dirrty ways not our cousin marriages.

I think its hard for the elders to get out of that way of thinking, if its all they have seen all they have been taught, we cant expect them to change now in their old age.