This is a serious issue and requires serious thought. I am specifically referring to homosexuality but shall refer to it as sexual perversion because I dont like the other word.
Now the issue is as follows. A person has known for about a year that one of his relatives female practices actively sexual perversion. He found out quite by accident but is absolutely certain that the issue is not mere rumour and that the person involved is actively practicing the sexual perversion. A year has elapsed. The person has not informed the relative that he knows her dirrty secret, only two other people know about this most shameful thing and they are the real brothers of the person who knows. Ie three brothers are aware of this fact and no1 else knows.
When the person found out his immediate reaction was to go and ask his imam about what he should do and was all geared up to ask but his shame got the better of him. The issue is so shameful that the person was even shy to go and mention such things to the imam to ask for advice about what he should do.
What do you think he should do?
At the moment, there is no major problem. The person who does this perversion is a strange relation (ghayr mahram female) and as the person does not speak beyond salaam with even female cousins he doesnt get any deep topics with the person. At the moment he gives salaam and leaves it there.
Should he confront the woman?
Should he inform her brothers and mother?
Should he just ignore it and leave her to it?
talk t oher and help her.
if that dont work after many efforts, seek outside help. you shouldnt ignrore it, especially it its some-one related.
try not to tell the parents unless the perverted person refuses to change despite acknowledging help
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
thing is when i was a younger she would ask me qsns about islam, specifically asking abt how we treat sexual perverts.
I said that having those thoughts come just from out the blue is not sinful because thats the devils voice. But immediately you must stop dwelling on it and think about good, pure things. I said the thoughts can come to any1, and so long as they dont fantasise about such perversions or bring thoughts themselves then they are not rong. Rather it is a test, different ppl have different tests and this is no different. You just have to fight these evil toughts and get connected with ALLAH and for sure your thoughts wont go down that way anymore.
I dont have anything more to say to her bro. other thing is she is ghayr mahram so now the person involved doesnt talk with her. Secondly I dont tink the person will tell the parents because he is terrified that if he tells the girls bros or mom:
1. they migh accuse him of lying.
2. they might make a big fuss, disown the pervert, but then accept her again, in which case eventually evry1 will accept her again and thats worse than no1 knowing
3. worst is that the mother might already know and is choosing to ignore it, so telling her might just get response of denial that person imagined that the pervert is a pervert.
One issue is that I know that a muslim woman has to observe hijab from sexually perverse women. This is gonna be difficult when the person marries cos how is he gonna keep his pervert cousin away from his pure wife?
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
best way do deal with this is to keep your nose out and stop dwelling on it
the person doing the deed is responsible for her own actions
if she asks you for advice then you can give your opinion until such time its nobody's business but her own
But to simply ignore a problem like that is foolish and it doesnt make it go away.
By your posts im assuming the person knows that you know about their secret. In which case you're already involved and by sitting there doing nothing you're not helping matters, and by keeping quite your siding with them to keep their secret.
In such situations its difficult to know what to do, mostly bcoz of background noise in your head, clear your mind and simply as what is right and what is wrong and you will know what you must do.
I'll leave it in your capable hands.
Back in BLACK
no the person doesnt know that me and my bros know.
thing is i dont know what to do, sometimes when her brothers cuss other women cos they have boyfrends i feel like saying u chattin abt other ppls sisters and ur own is a . . . .
i aint tortured by her deeds, her perversity is not my problem, i just was wondering if i shud just do what im doing now and not tell her and not tell any1.
plus we all know that these women who do sexual perversion act like men. they dont take advice from any1 and think they clever and dont need help or advice so telling her i knw her evilness is pointless. sometimes my nafs feels like going and shaming her in public and telling evry1 cos i enjoy putting others down but i dont do that cos thats rong!
basically should i tell any1? or should i just ignore her perversity and deviated way?
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
i'd never tell no one (aprt from my mum and sister)
mainly cos I'd die of shame before I could chat about something so dirty and openly to the family
i cudnt tell that to my mother, maybe to my dad but really only me and 2 of my bros know abt it, we dont tell our younger bros.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
understandable.....
but should you let the bad continue and turn a blind eye to it?
in a situation like this its a tuff one 2 call.....its easy for me to say sort her out, but i know its not that simple
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
some times doing the right thing is doing nothing. However its not easy to call.
Maybe she is getting from the wrong side coz she can't get it from the right side?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Grow up Admin!
Considering this is a subjet which is liable to innuendo, you should make the above sentence clearer.
If you see something wrong stop it with your hands
if you cannot stop it with your hand, then speak out against it
if you cannot speak out against it then hold it in your heart- this is the weakest of iman
so thats ur answer
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
hayder bro its not exactly ez to sort her out cos she used to live in london (on her own or so we thought.) and she has only recently started spending about a third of her time with her immediate family cos her dad died 6 years back. Neway point being her family let her stay on her own in london, they dont feel anyshame in that, so i dont see how i can do anything, plus she has a phD and stuff and is one of them posh pakis who speak like they white.
and admin bro she is quite ugly but ugliness is no excuse for sexual perversion, if that was the case half of uk pop shud be sexual perverts. No matter how ugly u r there is ALWAYS som1 out there who fits with u.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
no need to call any1 ugly..........but im gettin a clearer picture of this person.....its a tuff 1 to help
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
Hayder bro although i in theory agree wiht that point (hand tongue heart) but i dunno. The only thing i can see happening is that she is disowned. If that happens then i wud be happy but if she is taken bakc and ''accepted'' then that wud be serious problem with me. The other thnig that she might change i find hard to believe, she has been living with another sexual deviant, she has tried to marry a sexually deviated ''muslim'' man in a thing they call marriage of convenience, she a long way into this devil work.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
Its not innuendo.
she may be taking part in lesbian activity coz she cannot get straight activity.
However from what medievalist has wrote, she has tried a marriage of convenience.
No one apart from her should be approached. Find out exactly what is happening. And then deal with it if possile. Make sure she understands the Islamic view.
After that, its her choice.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
she knows the islamic view and i dont really talk to her. The whole things a big private joke between me and some of my bros. I swear we cracked up at first cos we couldnt believe it; later when it sank in we were like ewww, naaaaasty!!
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
Then leave it.
Slander and backbiting are also forbidden in Islam.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Are you saying that if women don't get any 'activity' from men then they turn into lesbians?!?
:shock:
Your initial statement could have meant that the 'wrong side' is the side that says homosexuality is natural, OK, and to be proud of. 'Right side' could have meant the side which outlaws homosexuality, sees it as wrong, as a problem, an illness etc.
But it turns out you really did mean what I thought you were naughtily insinuating. :shock:
Yes slander and backbiting is forbidden.
This is not slander because its true.
This is not backbiting because no1 knows who i am talkin about .
I think this topic has had its time. I think I will adress the problem when im married, cos then i will tell her not to come to my house. Until then will keep my mouth shut for my parents and my other relatives.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
But if you go to others, sayign she is perverted, then it may become backbiting.
I am not saying here it is backbiting.
Besides you will have to deal the fallout and recriminations.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
kindly explain fallout and recrimination? (dont understand the second word)
But i dont think i have to deal with any fall out. I just drop the bomb and let her brothers and her uncles sort her out or do what they think best. If you think I wud sit there worrying about whats gonna happen , I wudnt. As you sow so shall you reap and so whatever happens is the fruit of their own labour.
Recrimination means blame? Plz explain so i can answer
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
coz its will be ou spilling the beans, you will be blamed by alot of people over everything.
You will be criminalised for breaking up a family.
People will see you in a different light. They may also see you as a liar.
The family will try to pretect its 'honour'. To do so, they need a bogeyman. You.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Are you going to ignore my question Admin?
Have I put you in a tight spot?
Lol! Admin if i gave a damn about what my family thought I wudnt be walking around as a hafiz with a true beard but would rather have trimmed beard, wear jeans and t-shirt, and go to peoples houses to eat halwa on thurday. I dont care abt family accusations and hnour lies in ALLAH and Islam. If people think so much about honour then they would have had her married at proper age rather than spoil her and let her live on her own.
Bro your advice is appreciated but I wud be happy if my family cut me off. Means I wud get more reward when i go to visit them!
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
leave Mr Admin alone
I agree with the guy
Dave you've read the princess books aint u
can u remember why Maha turned to these activities?
What is it with you Deobandis and halwa?
You're obsessed with the stuff.
Get over it.
Try some sweet rice...
Yeah cos princess books have all the answers... :roll:
Lol! Its not us who are obsessed with halwa its 'them'!
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
no dumbo
the book is ABOUT a Saudi PRINCESS-real story
who's daughter got involved in all of this crap because she realised that men are evil-thats why she began to prefer women
women only turn to women when they are out off by men
Never noticed the question.
Lesbianism/homosexuality is not a natural state of existence. It needs something to fuel it. For example mental instability. I was asking wether the lack of activity may have been the fuel.
Every Muslim sees homosexuality as wrong, and an abomination. If one sees no problem with it, s/he is going against the laws of Islam to such an extent as having a different opinion to the facts propagated through the Quran. such a thing is known as kufr.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Pages