Asalam Walikum
Does it exist?
Here are some theories
[b]The Perfect Older Sibling[/b]
Parents want their first child to be perfect, to be the best. Thus, older siblings tend to be more ambitious as they often bear the burden of their parent's expectations and dreams. Older siblings wield greater power over their siblings because they are bigger, stronger and more knowledgeable just by dint of being older.
[b]Younger Siblings get away with Murder! [/b]
Younger siblings can use the fact that they are younger to their advantage. For instance, they can enlist the help of their parents when quarrelling with their older siblings. By the time the younger siblings are born parents are that much more experienced. They are more relaxed, less likely to be overprotective and more tolerant.
[b]The middle child![/b]
Middle born children have a diverse range of personalities. The habits of many middle borns are motivated by the fact that they have never been truly in the spotlight. The firstborn always seems to be achieving and pioneering ahead, while the younger sibling is secure in his or her niche as the entertainer of the family.
The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle, a child can feel insecure. This in turn will affect their relationships throughout their whole life. In some cases the middle child will see life from a hopeless standpoint will often become depressed or even lonely.The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.
What are everybody's thoughts on this?
Does it exist in your family?
Are you a middle child? and if so do you agree with the above?
or is it a load of cobblers?
Jazakallah
I totally agree with this (but not the fighting for attention and depressed part etc). Me and my sis always get left out, picked on and all the rest of it. Others in the family get treated like royalty! Not fair :evil:
I wouldn’t be surprised if my mum told me that i'm adopted.
yeh i agree with this
The age difference between the siblings would matter.
If there's a gap of several years between the eldest 2 and the youngest 1, then the middle child would assume many of the characteristics that the above model attributes to the youngest sibling.
No i have to disagree with that point. The middle born might initially look up to the oldest child and copy his/her behaviour but soon he/she realises that they are not rewarded for their good behaviour like the oldest is. The middle child can therefore feel resentful towards the oldest and is more likely to look for attention outside the home.
The middle child tend to be the most troublesome in my opinion.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
A lot of generalisations are made above, some I do agree with based on personal experiences.
As the oldest I've always had it the toughest, but at the same time, I suppose I've been a tad bit more privileged than the rest.
Also my parents are a lot more lenient with the youngest, I'm having to discipline my 9 year old sister as my parents seem to have dismissed the importance of doing so!
However, the above I strongly disgree with, again based on personal experiences.
My younger sister (the middle child) is my best friend.
As the oldest though we do have alot of responsibility and yeah defo agree with the fact we have had it the toughest. I think as the oldest it is our repsonsibility to discipline the youngest because they get away with alot of things and parents are just too soft on them.
I think middle borns vary in each family but in mine they are defo the most troublesome.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
Woody Allen in the Film Antz:
"I was the middle child in a family of 5 million..."
Don't just do something! Stand there.
No I deffinately do not agree with this.. I think sometimes the middle child can benefit from being less 'mothered' and having less attention. My older sister was spoilt and now 31 has no job, 2 children and has always been the rebel of the family, while I have always been ambitious and more academic than my siblings. The youngest will always be the baby and I think this also has had a negative affect on his outcome, he quits everything he starts and relies on my parents for everything.I think sometimes it helps in making you grow up faster, becoming independant sooner and also in managing relationships. Depends on personalities obviously, but its not always a bad thing being the middle child.