Feeling metaphorical

Found a few good metaphors. By good, I mean bad. Really bad.

Quote:
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

Quote:
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

Quote:
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Quote:
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

Read more at [url= worst metaphors[/url].

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Comments

Quote:
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches...
This metaphor works really well on only one level like a window cleaner who, whilst being adept with the tools of his trade, forgot his long arm and ladder.
Quote:
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
This made me want to laugh but also feel guilty for laughing, much like glimpsing the disillusioning of a small child after it tried to eat an ice cream only to suddenly loose it's grip and watch helplessly as the cone hit the floor.

Quote:
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
This one is actually quite good!

Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.

Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes

Bump.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Quote:
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

Quote:
The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

Back in BLACK

About terrible metaphors.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.