Found a few good metaphors. By good, I mean bad. Really bad.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
Read more at [url=http://www.psych.upenn.edu/~mims/FUNNY/worstmetaphors.html]the worst metaphors[/url].