Why so hard?

Last week I told myself I was fixing up. I decided to concentrate on one main thing and not give up on it. And alhamdulillah, with this one thing I was able to be more mindful of other things too - I was doing well and it boosted how I was feeling spiritually. Overall I felt happier.

But then, at the back of my mind, my nafs kept telling me to start wasting time by watching random stuff, or just doing something that wasn't so religious. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't spending all my time trying to be a perfect Muslim but as I was more mindful I just felt I needed to do things differently and tried to concentrate on that, to some extent.

Although I had given in to my nafs before, it wasn't to my usual extent. But trying so hard to improve began to tire me out and bore me. One night I had quite a philosiphical convo with a friend who doesn't usually talk about this stuff. And although I felt quite peaceful, I also felt tired of talking about it too. I doubt that makes any sense, right?! How can you get tired of talking about something that makes you feel good?!
I dunno.

And last night I just wanted to waste time watching a load of tv or something (I didn't though) but I did have a dream which was pretty disturbing! Not in horror-film style, more because it reminded me of a sin that haunts me. And today (well technically yesterday) I carried on with my goal and physically I may have succeeded but mentally I'm deflated.

There's hadith which say that Allah runs to you when you walk to him. And there's the saying that Islam isn't hard but we make it hard for ourselves.

But how do we do that?

I tried not trying to be all perfect and went for one thing to improve on. And yh I'm still at it, but a simple thought, simple weakness of the nafs has made me go back to my old ways, that is why I'm up at this stupid time, too!

Whyyyyyy

Comments

Foysol89
Member since:
13 February 2011
Last activity:
11 months 2 weeks

woah! is that the time?

all i can say is that i feel pretty much exactly the same way...but only really recently for some reason.

Allah knows best, the only way i can keep my spirits up is by remembering that after hard times comes ease.

tbh honest i was just thinking about procrastinating too... i don't know why but lately i've been taking one step forward and then sometimes 2 steps back again :/

here i am thinking about how i need to fix up but that's as far as i get, just a thought. sometimes i may hear, read or remember something to give me an imaan boost but it's temporary.

i don't know what it is, maybe just a phase, best to stay positive me thinks. whenever i do slip up, which i'm bound to do, i'm gonna try my best to turn back insha Allah...don't ever want to think about giving up.

i've got to mention though, lately it seems my bad deeds are taking me closer to Allah than when i perform good deeds. i know that may sound strange but it usually gives me a boost to do good deeds, probably the guilt.

all i can do is have faith in Allah and know that the fault is in me...insha ALlah it's just another learning curve.

May Allah guide you and me both to the straight path, may it be a means of making us stronger. Ameen

make dua for me too please Biggrin

Assalamu alaikum

Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

Looking To See
Member since:
24 December 2008
Last activity:
7 hours 26 min

nice blog. i feel like this ALL the time. trying to fight nafs IS emotionally draining...and sometimes ikinda just sNAP and will (just like you) watch a load of TV and go TOTALLY CRAZY. that usually happens when im on my period..its like this HHUUUUUGE dip in faith and it'll take me half the next month to come back up. its really horrible.

i think we made it hard for ourselves by first developping an atachment to that thing that we're trying to give up/change. if we hadnt develop that attachment in the first place then it wouldnt have been so hard giving it up no?

when im feeling low and feel like watching a load of stuff and browsing youtube or something i just remember that the people of jannah, their only regret will be that they didnt worship Allah all the time and just left time go past. and i think abt the thing im about to watch and WHATS THE POINT of watching it. usually there is no point and it aint worth it. and i find that that helps.

keeping yourself busy with other stuff helps too. it doesnt have to be religious stuff coz the transition might be hard but like...making revision notes or going over day's work or something, and then reading a book/religious book, reading some Quran can come in for a lil while. keeping oneself busy basically. and taking steps so you dont have the opportunity to do the stuff you're trying not to do. for me its not using laptop in my room. so i just try and go downstairs and stay with family.

and i believe there's a hadith that goes if you keep somethign up 40 days then inshaaAllah it'll become a habit. so keep it up girl! but our nafs is really really really strong... something you thought you totally gave up on will suddenly pop up and without you knowing HOW you'll be in the middle of doing that thing and somehow you'll just be telling yourself that its okay, or just numbing your brain while you're doing it. (maybe telling yourself that its okay for a lil while or something)

ive personally experienced all this stuff and tried all this stuff. battle of the wills. in reality.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

TPOS
Member since:
8 November 2008
Last activity:
3 days 13 hours

Ibn Abi Jamrah in his commentary of the abridged Sahih of al-Bukhari, Bahjat al-Nufus, highlights a number of ways the statement ‘The deen is ease’ can be understood and demonstrated. Some of them are as follows.

Deen here can be understood as both Iman and Islam together. Iman (faith) is ‘easy’ in the sense that it is straightforward without any complexities. This is demonstrated in the hadith where the Prophet ﷺ tests the slave girl to see whether or not she is a Muslim. He was satisfied by her action of simply pointing to the sky to indicate that Allah (swt) is above his creation and by her attesting to the fact that he was the Messenger of Allah. As for the ease in Islam, the practice, this is demonstrated by the famous hadith where a person asks the Prophet ﷺ about the obligations of Islam and the Prophet ﷺ tells him about the five obligatory prayers, the obligatory fast of Ramadan and the obligatory zakat (charity). Each time the person asked if there was anything more than the obligatory prayer, fasting and zakat the Prophet ﷺ replied that there wasn’t unless he wanted to do something extra voluntarily. While the person was leaving he said to himself, by Allah I will not increase nor decrease from that. The Prophet ﷺ said he has succeeded if he is truthful.

The ease here could be referring to what you have been given as a deen compared to the previous nations and the fact that you have only been obligated with that which you have the capacity to do. Allah (swt) has removed the burdens that were in the shari`ah of the previous nations from this ummah (community). For instance, the process of repentance for this ummah is made by regret, giving up the sin and seeking forgiveness whereas for some previous nations repentance was through capital punishment (for some sins). Another example is that unlawful things for us have been made lawful in times of necessity whereas this was not the case for previous nations. Also the fact that Allah (swt) has only burdened us with obligations that we have the physical and intellectual capacity to fulfil, for if he did burden us with something beyond our capacity, it still would have been acceptable as He is all Wise and the Omnipotent whose decisions none can overturn. Therefore it is from His favour and bounty that He has forgiven us and only made us responsible according to our capacity. As He says in the Qur’an: Allah does not burden the soul beyond its capacity (2:286). Therefore the one who is made responsible for that which one had the capacity to bear then that is from ease and not from hardship.

The ease here could be that deen is easy for the one who has knowledge of the deen and it is difficult for the one that is ignorant of the deen.

The ease referred to here could be the fact that the legal texts that imply an obligation without any room for other interpretations are few in number. The vast majority of legal texts are open to different interpretations (that lead to more than one valid legal option) and therefore this is ease and flexibility from the Master to His servants.

The ease referred to here could be to shorten one’s hopes, because shortening one’s hopes is amongst the causes that assist one in the deen so that the deen becomes easy. This is due to the fact that when one’s hopes are shortened covetousness is reduced, zuhd (detachment from unnecessary things) becomes easy and performing good deeds becomes light. This is similar to what the Prophet ﷺ mentioned: “When one of you wakes up in the morning, do not expect (to live) till the evening and when one of you goes to sleep in the evening do not expect (to live) till the morning.”

The ease referred to here could be to perform good deeds in reverence to the rights due to Allah (swt) since the deen belongs completely to Allah. When one does this the deen becomes easy due to the sweetness of obedience, performing deeds become effortless, and in fact, one is nourished by the deeds performed for the sake of Allah (swt).

Taken from here

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

TPOS
Member since:
8 November 2008
Last activity:
3 days 13 hours

Thanks for the replies, guys Smile Much appreciated. Nice to know, I'm not alone in the struggling, as well! Smile

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

s.b.f
Member since:
1 October 2008
Last activity:
2 weeks 14 hours

Lilly wrote:
i feel like this ALL the time.

have you guys ever wondered about relaxing your mind?