There Comes A Time In Every Asian Life, When No Matter How Many Times You Tell Your Parents Your Not Interested, They Will Always Make You See A Rishta..
Well For All You People Out There... Heres How To Lose Rishta Without Your Parents Blaming You! Lol
1. Speak English.- For example, if they ask “how many years are you?”, you reply with “Huh? Oh you mean how old am I?” Make them look dumb.
- Speak English even when they speak to you in Urdu/Hindi/Punjabi/Gujju, especially if their English is terrible. Pretend you don't understand some words because of their thick accent. And then show them how to really pronounce those words.
2. Don’t eat!- They find it very rude if you go to their house and don’t eat. So when the girl brings in the chai and biscuits, you don't touch it! No matter how delicious those strawberry biscuits look, you DO NOT touch it.
- Be sure to tell your parents your stomach hurts before hand.
3. Aimless glare.
- Start glaring aimlessly with your mouth open and look uninterested.
- This should be done when the ristha side is looking at you and your parents are not.
4. Dress short.- It's sad but desi parents are very big on height
- Don’t dress in high heels or dress shoes.
5. Darkness Factor.
- Go to the beach the day before and stay out in the sun till you bake yourself into an overcooked piece of tandoori chicken.
- Desi people are also racist in a subtle way. They prefer fair skin. (sorry South Indians)
- It turns out that desi parents do not like boys/girls with weak vision. Yep, it's all part of natural selection.
- However, on the positive side it makes boys looks smart. So if you are a nerd, try to dress like a punk rocker.
- Don’t wear nice contacts though!They'll assume you're rich.
7. Talking is a judgment call.
- If you talk too much, they might think you’re entertaining or obnoxious.
- If you talk too little, they might think you’re boring or very polite.
8. Twitch or shake.- Pretend you have a nervous twitch and only do it when your parents are not looking.
- If caught by your parents, blame it on staying up all night or your cold.
- For guys, they should shake their legs like they're craving another hit of heroin. It's very annoying to desi parents.
9. Grooming.- Claim you ran out of hair products and couldn’t style your hair.
- Also, try either to not shave or cut yourself on purpose while shaving.
- No cologne is a plus.
10. The bathroom.- Right before you leave, ask if you can go to the bathroom. Use the bathroom but don’t flush. This only works if they have a potty system. If they have the 3rd world toilets, jus take a dump and don't pour the bucket of water. But please, wash your hand!
- If your parents go in after you, say it was them and not you. And if the other family goes in after you, well they won’t be asking you over anytime soon.
Well that concludes “How to loose a ristha in 10 ways.”
(PS.. The Title Has Been Spelt Wrong Deliberatly..Typical Asian Thing.. Lol ...)